What's my next step with him? Not sure how to read him due to my Aspergers.
Q. I just recently found out I have Asperger's. One symptom is that I am useless with guys and dating - I cannot read the signs at all. I think men think I'm above average intelligence and that I am pretty, but it is very, very hard to 'process' that ...
A. 26 July 2014: Completely understand! It's always easier when the other person makes the move, so you don't have to wonder if they are interested or if you're going to be shot down! Good luck to you! Keep us posted!... (read in full...)
Losing boyfriend to world of Warcraft?
Q. So my boyfriends gotta back into playing Warcraft over the last few months. It's really starting to get on my nerve cause I believe it's starting to affect our relationship. I don't care what he does in his free time when I'm not around, but lately ...
A. 25 July 2014: Yeah, this would be a total deal breaker for me. I don't blame you at all. Boys and video games.
Games like that are great in moderation. If the person can use it as a stress relief or only play it at appropriate times. But during dates is certa... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend so insensitive towards me?
Q. HI, I feel very disappointed with my bf after 3 years. I take alot of effort for him to make him feel special for bday, anniversary etc. But very seldom he does things for me. Yesterday, i reminded him about our anniversary is this weekend and...
A. 25 July 2014: It's very difficult for him to be loving with you? What the hell does that even mean? I would be pretty offended if my partner said that to me.
Secondly, the tickets are also nonsense. He clearly doesn't know how to treat a woman (or anyone i... (read in full...)
I caught him talking sexually with other men but he denies it!
Q. I need help! I have caught my boyfriend (for the second time) talking to men sexually. We are happy (or so I thought). we've been living together for over a year. He denies everything, i even sent the "mystery man" an email, he says they never ...
A. 25 July 2014: Exactly what svc said. Exactly. She hit the nail on the head when she said that cheating is cheating, regardless of whether it was with the opposite sex or the same sex. What difference does it make? If it were with another woman, you'd be out the ... (read in full...)
Am I flirting wrong?
Q. I have never been good at flirting, first of all, but recently I don't know what has come over me with this new guy I know... It started with me and another girl getting him to promise to buy us ice cream because the weather was so hot. Then, a ...
A. 25 July 2014: No, you're not flirting wrong. That's a pretty basic way of being flirtatious. However, it seems he's possibly not interested based in the fact that he didn't respond.
I think that you've made it pretty obvious you think he's attractive, and by i... (read in full...)
He seldom tries to see me but he's left stuff at my place ...
Q. Im so confused my partner moved due to work in November last yr and this year ive seen him 4 times only for a day never over night, ive asked him many of times if he wanted to b with me or if he liked somebody else or was even with anyone else hes ...
A. 25 July 2014: So in 8 months time, your boyfriend has made time to see you four times - none of those being overnight?
You say he moved for work, but you don't say how far away he moved. But from the sound of it, if he can make day trips, it can't be that ter... (read in full...)
Is this guy bad news?
Q. I've been speaking to a guy online for a month. We first started speaking through twitter. The first night we started speaking, we stayed up until 6am. The conversation was incredibly deep, we spoke about everything from religion, to current events ...
A. 25 July 2014: I'm a bit confused. You say that you initiated the convo, yet you're put off by him? That doesn't make sense to me. Are you insinuating that you feel 'taken advantage of' due to your drunkenness. And that he should have known you were drunk and not ... (read in full...)
Not sure what he's doing on this holiday
Q. I am having some problems with my relationship, and I am hoping someone could help me! My boyfriend and I are 20 and have been dating for almost two years. He has been in Paris for a number of weeks on vacation, and recently we got into an argu...
A. 25 July 2014: Just saw your update. Just take that to mean this relationship is over and move on. He clearly can't be bothered. Mark my words, though, he WILL try to come back and work things out when he comes home. However, do not let him back in. Remember how ... (read in full...)
Not sure what he's doing on this holiday
Q. I am having some problems with my relationship, and I am hoping someone could help me! My boyfriend and I are 20 and have been dating for almost two years. He has been in Paris for a number of weeks on vacation, and recently we got into an argu...
A. 25 July 2014: It sounds to me that this trip has gotten him into party mode. He's in Paris, experiencing something brand new, and exciting. He's going out at night and having the time of his life. And while he's there, it's like a temporary vacation from reality. ... (read in full...)
What's my next step with him? Not sure how to read him due to my Aspergers.
Q. I just recently found out I have Asperger's. One symptom is that I am useless with guys and dating - I cannot read the signs at all. I think men think I'm above average intelligence and that I am pretty, but it is very, very hard to 'process' that ...
A. 25 July 2014: I would like to point out that despite having asperger's, it's completely normal to have some of the feelings you've experienced with dating.
Many people get all choked up, confused, and clam up in situations where they like another person. ... (read in full...)
I'm already prepared to put my marriage on the line, that's how sick of his family I am. What should I do?
Q. In a few weeks time I am due to go and stay at my husbands parents house, they are a muslim family. I have not met them before only spoken to them by phone and skype. His mother seems to be boss and interfering and has already made som comments that ...
A. 25 July 2014: I understand not liking the in laws. But with marriage comes the in laws. It's a package deal. And more often than not, the relationship with them is not a pleasant one.
I get it that you may feel out of place in a middle eastern Muslim country,... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to fit the stereotype of a guy who likes fighting
Q. I'm a college student and I volunteer in a biology lab. For the past 8 weeks we've had a physics and math major helping us out doing some calculations. This is his final week in our lab as the project is just about finished and I really like him. ...
A. 25 July 2014: I think you're mistaking sports and adrenaline with a guy who just picks fights for fun.
Fighting is a part of hockey. It wouldn't be hockey without the fighting. Hell, that's why I enjoy going to games. Without it, I'd be bored to tears. ... (read in full...)
Do I just leave her alone? I wanted closure but she said she doesn't need it
Q. Should I simply leave her alone? I have just finished college and I do not date at all but one day, I met a girl in the library and we quickly got along really well as new friends and we found out that we had so much in common. Over time, we st...
A. 22 July 2014: So yes, the ultimate answer is to leave her alone. You got to say how you feel and now that is all you can do. Anything beyond that may be somewhat harassing. I would now leave it alone. ... (read in full...)
Do I just leave her alone? I wanted closure but she said she doesn't need it
Q. Should I simply leave her alone? I have just finished college and I do not date at all but one day, I met a girl in the library and we quickly got along really well as new friends and we found out that we had so much in common. Over time, we st...
A. 22 July 2014: I know it hurts right now, but in all honesty, she is doing you a favor. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but she's not stringing you along, which is really a good thing.
She's right, there is no need for closure. The reason for that... (read in full...)
Was he being polite or is he interested?
Q. Hi, I'm just confused about a guy I met the other night, if he's interested or not I was out drinking and we met at the bar, talked for a bit but I felt like I was being awkward which is common for me, then at the end of the night we hugged goodby...
A. 22 July 2014: He's obviously interested, and clearly has no game whatsoever lol. He's "indifferent?" Not charming.
But no guy who wasn't interested would actually text you, let alone that very same night. You would have just never heard from him if he wasn't f... (read in full...)
I'm married and have been chatting with a man for a year. We'll never meet so its harmless isnt it?
Q. Ok so where do I start. When I was on maternity, I spent long days in the house by myself. My husband has become rather un-attentive and has lost interest in most conversation. I was very lonely and restricted in money for doing activities...
A. 21 July 2014: You will never make things better with your husband as long as you continue this relationship with this other guy. How could things ever get better when your undivided attention is with another man?
That's one thing I have heard people say over... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but don't want to have sex with her
Q. okay so here's my question. I've been on my relationship for nearly three years nowand let me tell you with the greatest thing that ever happened to me.but here's thing, never had sex with my girl friend.and it wasn't even her choice it was mine. ...
A. 21 July 2014: Hey there.
I believe I'm understanding what you mean when you say "'been in multiple unpleasant situations' with family when we were younger." I'm sorry you had those types of experiences. It's truly unfair. This makes perfect sense why you have... (read in full...)
Am I just being stupid and paranoid as I do really love him but I don't want to be hurt and betrayed and these arguments are ruining us, should I put it all behind us and move on?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months. I am 21 and hes 26. Hes a very flirty guy and other girls love him but he's always made it clear that I'm the one and everyone can see how happy and in love we are. About a month into our r...
A. 21 July 2014: No, you absolutely should NOT put it all behind you and pretend all is okay. Your boyfriend is a cheater, my dear. He's blinding you. You're justifying his seeking out sex from other women by saying it was because he missed you and felt insecure. ... (read in full...)
We broke up but I still feel like I should tell him I went out for drinks
Q. I was in a long distance relationship for almost a year. He and I had several problems throughout the relationship, initially about opening up and then trust issues towards the end. In the beginning after a month or so of dating he was demanding...
A. 21 July 2014: I believe this is your post from a handful of days ago?http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-you-have-any-idea-how-i-can.html
You don't owe him anything. From the further sounds of it, you're WAY better off without him. I see no reason to tell him... (read in full...)
How can I ever tell my wife that due to my diabetes my ability to have sexual relations is no more?.
Q. I am a 53 year old man and I have lost my ability to have sex because I suffer from diabetes. I can just can ejaculate but my penis is not hard enough to sustain sexual relations with my wife. I feel guilty myself. My wife is so good, How can I te...
A. 21 July 2014: And what I mean by that is by oral sex, or using a vibrator, or using your hand, etc. Get creative. ... (read in full...)
How can I ever tell my wife that due to my diabetes my ability to have sexual relations is no more?.
Q. I am a 53 year old man and I have lost my ability to have sex because I suffer from diabetes. I can just can ejaculate but my penis is not hard enough to sustain sexual relations with my wife. I feel guilty myself. My wife is so good, How can I te...
A. 21 July 2014: Well you realistically have no choice but to tell her. If you don't, she will assume it means something even worse - that you don't WANT to have sex with her. To a woman, that is a terrible thought.
Just because you can't have the physical... (read in full...)
Should I warn him about my behaviuor that caused problens in a previous relations?
Q. I have the most amazing bf ever. I am in my late 20s and he is in his early 30s. We get along so well and have only had a few short disagreements in the year and a half we've been together. We never argue, we are so similar. He treats me like a ...
A. 21 July 2014: I think your previous behavior was just reflective of having been in a relationship with someone who you were completely incompatible with. I once dated an individual years back who I was completely incompatible with. The fights were brutal and ... (read in full...)
Why are some women so insecure when it comes to porn?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for the last five years. We met in high school and pretty much hit it off right away. We became instantly close from then and although we have our own share of problems, porn was never one of them. We have b...
A. 18 July 2014: I agree with you! I can't imagine someone getting mad at me over porn. Luckily, I, too, have also been lucky to not have to deal with partners getting mad at that. It's nothing personal. It's just a way to get the job done more efficiently lol. I ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 18 July 2014: To the male anon-
I agree, to an extent. However, it's still not acceptable when applied to this particular scenario since the person doing the judging and holding her to a different standard is the OP, himself.
He's the one with the problem... (read in full...)
I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 18 July 2014: At svc, what Scotch is he drinking for $60 a glass?? Holy cow.... (read in full...)
I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 18 July 2014: @finalmailings - speaking for all the lesbians in the room, even we look at porn. Lol. Both my gf and I do. :) ... (read in full...)
I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 18 July 2014: You say "I basically told him if you do it again i'm done' I din't mean the relationship i meant done putting up with it as in he'll have to make it up to me."
What exactly does that even mean? It sounds like you're giving him absolutely no conse... (read in full...)
I think a man who wants woman will not let her go!
Q. I met a man and everything fell together so seamlessly. We were both crazy about each other and he told me he saw a future with me, and very quickly was telling me he was in love with me (within a month). I am weary of people falling too quickly ...
A. 17 July 2014: I see where he is coming from. He wants you to be happy and believes that he doesn't have enough free time to offer you what you need. He can't change his working hours, and he is right - you eventually will tire with this and become resentful. You ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 17 July 2014: No, your partners past shouldn't bother you so much. Not to this extent. I don't love the thought of my partner with other people, but it doesn't bother me enough to stress over it. Of course she had a past before me. So did I! Why wouldn't she? The ... (read in full...)
Do you have any idea how I can work on self worth issues to make me feel like I'm deserving of love for who I am?
Q. Hi all, I have significant issues with self worth and self esteem. I have never been to a therapist to discuss thid but as I get older, I'm finding these issues are negatively impacting other areas of my life. I have struggled with eating di...
A. 17 July 2014: Are you my gf? Lol. Wow. You sound just like her.
First of all, I'm sorry for the issues you're dealing with. I know that's hard. My partner suffers almost exactly the same types of issues as you. Her father was the source of many of her problems... (read in full...)
My partner and I get along brilliantly with my ex and his girlfriend but no one around us seems to understand. Is this situation really that weird?
Q. I feel like I'm having an affair because nobody accepts this situation!! I was with a man for 8 years, we never married but we did have two children during this time. We split up for many reasons, the relationship was horrible for the last 2 years...
A. 17 July 2014: To me, it's really not that weird. I'm one who is capable of staying friends with exes (if it ended, there was a pretty darn good reason for it), and have quite a few who I still maintain a perfectly platonic relationship with. I think you two have ... (read in full...)
I can't get a Bf, but is it because I think boys judge girls on their looks?
Q. I had a crush on this boy for about a year, (he was 18) and we have been friends for about 4 years. I thought it was time for me to tell him how I feel, it took a lot of courage but eventually I asked him out. He said he'd get back to me.. He came ...
A. 17 July 2014: That 'child' you asked out (because he's certainly no man or even a boy, really) was too immature. He has a lot of growing up to do. His answer was truly terrible and it comes from a lack of maturity.
Don't let this one experience hinder you from... (read in full...)
Are people more likely to speak their minds when they are drunk?
Q. So ive got the inevitable question. Are people (espeically guys who are kinda of shy but just in general as well) more likely to tell their true feelings, and speak their mind when they're drunk or after even drinks? Is it true what they say th...
A. 16 July 2014: Speaking the mind is completely different than speaking the heart. I could speak all sorts of random and idiotic stuff from my drunken mind. But it certainly wouldn't be from the heart.
Many people will tell you that a drunken mans words are a so... (read in full...)
Does "narcissistic" ex miss me?
Q. My ex and I dated very briefly last Aug-Oct (2013). I met him through my job (he was a customer there). We had a very intense short term relationship. We never really fought, the sex was amazing, we did fun things together. And behind closed doors ...
A. 16 July 2014: Well, of course, with the details missing, it's hard to formulate an opinion of him properly. However, what you've physically written doesn't depict a narcissistic man. More like that of a man who knows his boundaries and what he is and isn't ... (read in full...)
I know I have to change, but what? And how?
Q. This is going to be long, I'm afraid. I'm 23 years old, and in a long term relationship. I have anxiety problems/am a chronic worrier...unsure as to how to sum it all up! I've needed to get help for quite some time, and have only just started ...
A. 14 July 2014: Hey there. :)
Sorry to hear about your anxiety issues. Coming from someone who has been in a relationship for quite some time now with a woman suffering many of the same symptoms as you (different in many ways, but similar), the only person d... (read in full...)
A stranger came up to tell me he liked me. Is he a threat?
Q. Hello, I was walking to work yesterday morning 7am, half way there I saw a man come jogging around the corner and he suddenly stopped about twenty yards infront of me then continued tonwalk towards me. I have to admit I did feel uneasy in my ...
A. 14 July 2014: I don't think you're being overly cautious, as in this day and age, there really isn't such a thing. I think the way he approached you is a bit odd. But what really gets me is the email address and even more is the doorbell thing.
I'm not insi... (read in full...)
How could I possibly tell this girl that the reason we can't be friends right now is because I still have feelings for her?
Q. There's this girl that goes to the same classes as I do. At first I had a major crush on her and couldn't stop thinking of her. I told her how I felt but she said that she didn't feel the same and she wasn't ready to be with anyone else as she just ...
A. 13 July 2014: I think you have no choice but to explain to her what you are feeling, as she probably already knows. And if you continue to distance yourself from her, you are liable to push her away completely and ruin any potential for a friendship.
I thi... (read in full...)
I'm utterly ashamed of my drunken behavior in front of my ex and his girlfriend!
Q. Im so ashamed and embaressed. So lastnight I went to a friends birthday party. My ex from a very long time ago was there. I had drunk quite alot and I was flirting outrageously with him. Then later on in the night his girlfriend arrives. I did not ...
A. 15 June 2014: Try not to let it get to you so much. I know it's embarrassing but everyone makes mistakes. It's amazing how alcohol can make us do some pretty ridiculous things, isn't it?
Perhaps you should send him a quick message on Fb telling him that you... (read in full...)
I've made the worst mistake ever ...
Q. I got very drunk last night with my fiancé and a few friends. By the end of the night I was pretty inebriated. I often feel the desire to have sex when drunk however she was not interested because of the way I was acting earlier in the evening. I ...
A. 15 June 2014: You restrained your fiancé and literally almost raped her. The only reason you stopped was because you noticed her tears. What came over you?? I know you were drunk, but you don't ever pin a woman down and force sex. It doesn't matter if you're her ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend is overbearing.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is long...I have a new boyfriend, I'm 18 and he's 22. I spend a lot of time with him and I do really like him but there are a couple things that just irk me. When we see eachother in person and go on dates everything is go...
A. 15 June 2014: I can't STAND that type of neediness. Your explanation of the "hello? Is there something you need to tell me?" text made me cringe for you. It reeks of insecurity and it's just flat out annoying! I don't know if it will get better with time. It ... (read in full...)
My nude modelling job went horribly wrong, the photographer now has graphic pics of me and I'm afraid of the repercussions
Q. Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked ...
A. 14 June 2014: You need to contact a lawyer asap. There are lawyers out there who will gladly take your case pro bono (free) just for the mere sake of how disgusting it is. I know I would.
This man is a fraud. His behavior is fraudulent and he is a danger t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad told him we were sleeping together! We aren't!
Q. I met my boyfriend's dad last year. We have been friends and that's the extent of the relationship. Recently his dad said in front of me and him that I have been sleeping with dad. Why would he say this? Now I have major issue with boyfriend. ...
A. 14 June 2014: He may be experiencing the onset of dementia, as was previously mentioned. It makes people say and do things they normally wouldn't ever say or do.
Your boyfriend should know better than this. Although I have to admit - it would be quite shocking... (read in full...)
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