A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I will try to make this short and sweet. My boyfriend (we have been dating for a 1.5 year broke up a few times for 2 weeks). He is a big tattoo guy, He has a sleeve and half a sleeve on the other arm. I don't mind them, as I think they look nice on him. One is a portrait of his late grandfather , so I thought that was pretty cool. He recently wanted to get more ink done. I didn't know what he was getting other than an old airplane, boat, ect. Well its a large portrait of a beautiful woman. He said it is a mermaid and at first he said it was me. I thought it was so sweet. I didn't think it looked a ton like me , but its the thought that counts. Well, he comes back later and says he was kidding- it is not me. I DO NOT like how he plastered another women's face on his body. I kinda feel hurt actually. It's not a cartoon, or a skull, its a plain as day beautiful lady and it is not tiny. i asked who it was ...he replied it is "his mermaid". I don't think he knows this bothers me. But i feel like it was kind of insensitive thing to do. Especially when he says he wants to marry me. Now when I look at his arm I get to see another woman. Am I over reacting? I truly feel hurt and I feel angry. I could never imagine getting a tattoo of another man for him to look at. What are your thoughts? Thank you
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female
reader, ova-valentine  +, writes (31 January 2016):
 This does sound like the tattoo is another woman if he says that it's "his mermaid." I seriously doubt this mermaid is a threat. Maybe it was a late ex. Maybe it was a family member. There's no need to worry.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2016): Thanks everyone. I'm the op. Why I was upset is because he says it is a mermaid ... But it does not look like a mermaid. It's a large portrait of a women's face. There is no tail .. Or scales ... Or a cartoon looking character. So that's why I was bothered. I thought who is this women he tattooed on him ??
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (31 January 2016):
 Mermaids aren't real and neither is she. Think no more of it I say
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2016): The only thing I don't like about this is the fact that at first he told you it was you and then changed his mind. Seriously if he knew how a woman's mind worked he would have shut his mouth on that one. Is there really any need for him to tell you that it wasn't you? It wouldn't have caused any harm if he kept that to himself. So by all means ask him why he lied about that.Secondly I am an art teacher and at college I studied the history of art and life drawing, amongst many other things, and the naked body I saw almost every day. It's a HUGE part of art. Go in a museum and I guarantee that you will see a naked body, whether that's in the form of a sculpture or a painting.I was in a long term relationship for 8 years and I never ever saw myself splitting up with this man and neither did he. But it happened! You cant guarantee that you will be with this man forever and if you ever split up he seriously wouldn't want a tattoo with your face on it.I'm not saying you will split up , but it's not an impossibility! I do't think it's ever a good idea having a tattoo of a partner's name or likeness anywhere on your body, as much as that could be incredibly sweet at the time, tattoos are permanent and you don't know what can happen in the future.As he is a man who has chosen to look a specific way and cover himself in ink then I'm sure he would consider all his pieces art work. Think about Rodin or Michelangelo, the nudity doesn't detract from the beauty of the object. That face on that tattoo is just a figment of somebodies imagination, she doesn't actually exist. You can't expect any man to have your face tattooed on him, you don't know what the future will hold.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 January 2016):
 I think you are overreacting. HIS body - HIS choice in decorations. He might not even have supplied what "face" he wanted on his tattoo but left that to the artist, so it's not really like it's another woman on his arm, and... there is no name attached.
One thing I do find weird though, was that he said it was you, and then it wasn't.. That's ridiculous. He knows it wasn't you and shouldn't have lied about it.
A friend on mine, lost his mom when he was 3, when he turned 18 he had her likeness tattooed on his arm. But unless you KNEW it was his mom, people might think she was either a GF/EX-gf or random chick. It meant something to him. It was I suppose his way of honoring his mom.
While I personally don't get "pictures" or names of people as tattoos, it's really NOT my business as it's not my body.
I don't see the big deal at all.
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A
female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (30 January 2016):
 Personally a tattoo should only matter to the person who's body it is on. Why someone gets a certain image is completely for their own reasoning, and I honestly don't think they need to reveal that meaning to anyone. Plus it really should first and foremost be looked at as art, because that is exactly what it is.I mean it's not as though he left you for another woman, it's simply a picture of a female, probably just a google image, not someone he knows personally. It's like having a poster of a band or a celebrity that you like in your house. You wouldn't get mad at him for having a poster of a female celebrity would you? Because you know it's just a picture and he's most likely never going to meet that celebrity and end up with them.The point I'm trying to make is that it is a picture, not a real woman. If he got a tattoo of a "beautiful woman" but is obviously still dating you, than he must love you. Wouldn't you think? Now if he got a tattoo of an ex-girlfriend's name or something, or if this mermaid looked exactly like an ex-girlfriend, then yes I'd move on and find someone else, because he clearly isn't over said ex-girlfriend. But a generic mermaid? In my honest opinion, it's not worth the fuss that you're making it out to be.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2016): I wouldn't worry about it. Although I don't like tattoos personally, I wouldn't take it as any sign that he has disrespected you. The tattoo artist probably just did his or her thing. If everything else is fine in the relationship, I would ignore it.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (30 January 2016):
 First of all I have to say I think tattoos are a ridiculous waste of money. They are extremely non-com if you know what I mean? Having said that you are with a man who wants to decorate himself and has done so inappropriately for you. You can either wait until it turns into a blue smudge as tattoos eventually do, or you can persuade him to get it changed into something else. A good tattoo artist will advise. Don't take no for an answer.
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