A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my.boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 years. we have a 3 and 4 year old. when we first got together I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. in a bad place. anyways, he and my best friend had hooked up and I found out. I forgave both of them but then had retaliation hook up with one of his friends. I've never told him about this, but it has been weighing me down with guilt. also I'm scared someone else will bring it up. help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2016): Wait a minute - he had slept with a friend of yours BEFORE you were dating, so you retaliated and slept with his friend AFTER you started dating? Is that what I am hearing? Those two things are not the same at all. Even if his hookup was not before you started dating, it would still be wrong for you to be keeping this secret. His secret is already out and I assume he is feeling like the bad guy over it. And other people know about it too? Oh shit that is bad. Yes your BF should know. It would be even more wrong if that guy you hooked up with is still someone that is still around. If you or your BF still interact with him at all. DO NOT under-estimate how much it wrecks a guy's status among other men and his own self-esteem when he is the last one to know about something like this. It is a total humiliation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2016): Do you really want to risk breaking up your children's home for the sake of relieving yourself of the residual guilt you're experiencing over an immature indiscretion?
As a mother your first and foremost priority should be your children's well-being. How does your obsessing over something that (presumably) happened before they were born make their lives better?
Hopefully their father has learned from his past mistakes and grown up because it seems like their mother hasn't.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 Hindsight is such a beautiful thing. Look, the way I see it given that he acted so appallingly, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. I wouldn't feel at all particularly guilty about what I had done,rather pissed at my self for stooping to his and her level. Personally, I'd put it too bed and be at peace with yourself. If and when it comes up I hardly think he would have grounds for making any comment other than " ok. I understand" and say he's sorry
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