A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello I have a friend that I have known since middle school, they are one of my closest friends and I have had feelings for them for a long time. The only problem is they want to have a sex change from a woman to a man. As much as I respect her I do not want her to go through with it. Recently all I can think about is her and when the opportune time comes I want to ask her out. Can someone give me some tips as to how I can make her see I have feelings for her and dont want her to change? Thank You. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 January 2016):
 Yep, to Ivyblue.
YOU can't. The surgery isn't about you, or anyone else BUT him. NOT only is is a HUGE decision for him to make physically, but emotionally and socially.
Let's say you start dating him, and he holds off on doing what he feels he MUST do - he might BE with you, but he would be miserable STUCK in a body he doesn't feel at "home" in. No amount of "love" from you can change that.
And by the by, you are waiting for an opportune moment to ask him out? So he should put his life on hold till it suits YOU?
You NEED to accept that:
HE needs to be who HE needs to be.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (29 January 2016):
 You cant.It is as simple as that. She identifies as a male. For her to make a decision for gender reassignment, based on society expectation and ignorance, is HUGE and no doubt been VERY difficult. So my tip is:
Accept the things you cannot change, don't try to make sense of her choices-there is no need, don't burden her with such an unfair request and continue to be the friend you are by offering endless amounts of support if and when HE needs it. It will be an adjustment to what you see on the outside but on the inside is still your friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2016): Your friend has probably felt this way a long time-most likely secretly. I'm sure you realize and sympathize with him (I say him bc to your friend, that is the pronoun he wants). Unless you and he are both attracted to men AND eachother, which I doubt, its not going to work. And I feel for you bc it sucks to love someone who can't love you back. People say 18-21 is too young to know you are gay let alone in the wrong body. At his age, he will need LOTS of counseling even BEFORE he takes hormones and WAY before surgeries. That is a HUGE expense and often not covered by insurance. Does his family support him?
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