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I really love her,but she is my teacher!

Tagged as: Crushes, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2016)
A female age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone!I'm 17 years old girl and this year I fell in love with my new geography female teacher.I don't know if I'm straight,homo or bi but actually I even don't care about this now.I can't stop thinking about her,even for a second.I'm sure that I really love her and want her.Everytime when I see her I can't explain how happy,but also nervous I become.She is perfect,but single,without husband and children.She is 47 years old but looks amazing and she is so funny and clever.She is a bit selfish too,but acts like a child.I don't know why she is alone.We are already friends,we use to talk at school for different things,we have some same interests and I am excellent at her subject.I want her to know how much I care,how I can't stop thinking about her.I wonder is it possible for us to have a secret relationship? Some older students says that in past she used to have a secret affair with a male student.I'm crazy about her,I adore her and every time when I see her I want to hug and kiss her.She is so kind with me and I think that she already notices my behaviour.How can I show her seriously my feelings? How to be more interesting than others? What I can do? Is it possible? There is a big age difference but she is single,lonely and she says that she feels like a child.She even complains that "nobody" love her but like a joke.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (6 February 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntThe very thought of having a sexual encounter with a woman I find unappealing- However I have had a girl crush myself. I just couldn't help myself being attracted to this woman. i remember thinking 'If only you were a man' because at times my feelings were quite overwhelming and just really enjoyed being in her presence, like you loved and admired her. I was not once confused about my sexuality, more confused at to why I was a straight woman feeling this way about another female.I mean what is that? That was years ago, and sitting here typing I still can't really make any sense of it. All I know is that it eventually passed, just like most crushes. So I do understand where you are coming from. Thing is, in your situation there are professional boundaries that are unethical,illegal even, for her to cross. There can be no compromise no matter how much you may wish for it. My advice would be to try distance yourself from becoming too personal with her and not let yourself be carried away by fantasy 'what if's' and scenarios. Instead enjoy her for all that she has to offer as a teacher and don't risk ruining that by making the mistake of allowing your self to cross the line, All the best

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntThe answer is simple, if you where both to have a secret relationship, someone would find out and she would lose her job, not only would she lose her job but she would also never be able to work in another school again. She has a duty of care to take. She is friendly with you, but she does not see you as anything more than one of her students, if you act on this not only will you make her feel awkward but you will also make yourself feel worse. You don't love her, you are just lusting after her, perfectly normal for any teenager to develop a crush on a teacher at this age, its just most people don't act on it. You will have left school and forgotten all about her before you know it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2016):

Hi there.

I'm glad you've asked for help and advice here, but you need to adhere to what we say too. She's 47 and you're 17, and she's your teacher. This can never happen. You are infatuated with her as opposed to being in love with her - trust me, I've been just like you in the past and it messed me up... Through the years I have come to realise I was just in awe of her, and not in love with her. Infatuation is the evil twin of love.

Do yourself a favour and move on. Look forward to leaving school and not encountering her anymore. But please do yourself one massive favour, and do not think any deeper about her. She's your teacher - a person who has a duty of care to educate you. That's it.

Good luck!

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