A
female
age
30-35,
*&M 185
writes:How can you tell if you really love someone and its not just a crush????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): When you've both yakked over the same toilet bowl at the same time after a bad case of food poisoning together and you still want to be with them. Ok, granted, it's probably the end of romance right there, but you sure know it's love!!
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (5 September 2007):
Like Duce said, you can tell if you really love someone once you are past the 'warm and fuzzy stage', also known as the 'honeymoon stage'. If you arent sure what that is, its the early stages in a relationship where everythign seems perfect, you feel like you love this person to death and cant bare to be apart from them! Everything seems perfect. But perfection doesnt exist, so thats your first big clue there that hints its not real love or that you are in that honeymoon stage still, when you think a relationship is perfect, you arent seeing things for real love, thats jsut the ideal love. Real love has many down sides to it, but it IS real.
So yes, once you past that stage, you are able to think with your head, not your heart as much. Youre heart can sometimes lead you astray because what you feel and want isnt always right in the long run. Its after this time you beguin to see the other persons faults, you beguin really get to know them, and can then judge whether or not you still have deep feelings for them.
They also say that a person shows there true colours when under pressure and stress...so once you and your bf/gf are faced with a very stressful situation or a major problem, this can be a true testimant of whether or not there is enoguh love to make the relationship work.
Thats just my opinion :)
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A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 Hi M&M 185,
Thats a really good question. Im in my 30's and have asked my self the same darned thing before! In my experience you need to get through the initial phases of everything being warm and fuzzy. I believe that our definition of "love" evolves as we get older. Im not trying to diss what your feeling at all. Im just saying that you will know better when its real after you have a little more time under your belt. Even then its just plain hard to think right in the early stages of a relationship. Its kinda like trying to drive your car really fast on the highway with the windows all fogged up from the heavy breathing going on inside. Its just asking for trouble.
This is why many of us advise folks to take it a little slow in the beginning. If you dont, just know that you have many here who have made the same darned mistake. We will be right here for ya!
Take care,
Duce
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