A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Everyone (my friends, advice columnists on the internet, etc.) seem to think that WRITING a letter to your ex can be an extremely useful exercise to get some of your emotions out and help you to move on. That said, no one seems to think that SENDING such a letter is ever a good idea. I recently wrote a letter to my ex, and am extremely tempted to mail it to her. She broke up with me, but there are several important things that I feel that I never fully articulated with her, and although it has been nearly three months, my feelings for her have remained the same. I am confident that I love her, and fear having regrets later in life. Is sending her the letter I wrote really as bad of an idea as everyone is telling me? What should I do? Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): Hi Mate ,send it,at least she knows how you feel.Ive done it in the past and she has never talked to me again,(but she wasnt going to anyway),but life is about taking risks,and if you send it at least you know you have tried your best and that is all we can do in life
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Hi
I would, although it depends whats in it. As long as its not nasty, hinting at getting back together and is just to say the things you never felt you said then i would. I have. My ex (broke up 3 months ago too) sent me a letter the end of last week. Just to clairify a few things. It wasnt nasty, it wasnt begging for forgivness for anything, just things he wanted to say.
So i sent one back. Along the same lines.
I have written them to people in the past and not sent them, it depends if you are majorly angry and that might come out in the letter because you dont want that. Its not going to achieve anything.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (4 September 2007):
I guess the reason why people say to never send it is because in the letter you are suppose to basicaly pour your whole heart out. You can be as nasty as you want. Say whatever you want! So thats why they probably recomend you dont send it. However if you write a letter in a more respectful manner I dont see the problem in sending it. If you feel you have things you need to say to her, or questions that need answers then perhaps you should do it so you can get closure.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): I guess it depends:
- if the letter is you wanting to express your feelings (sadness, anger, hurt etc..) and you know it will make no difference in terms of your relationship, don't send it.
- if it will make a difference, then send it.
I guess you know the reasons why she ended it, so you'll be best-placed to know which is the case.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (4 September 2007):
 thats your choice but may hurt you in the long run and not help you so much as of getting over her but it seems you want her back in a way but that is my opion am i right ?
any who i think the best thing to do is ask your self why you would want to mail it what good will it do ? expecially if shes over you and moved on
just think ahead
good luck
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