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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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I don't want this guilt to be hanging over my head. How do I get rid of it?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and I am very much in love with her. She took a job in a different state 5 months ago but we both still wanted to stay together. Last night, at a local bar after having way too much to drink, I ...
A. 21 February 2011: You have already taken all the right steps in redeeming yourself from this mistake. Give it time, as long as you keep trying to be the best you can be for your now distant girlfriend, your conscience will grow still and you will truly forgive ... (read in full...)
After I got angry with my bf, he cheated, and now I wonder if it I my fault!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. When him and I fight, one of us says "its over" and the other one always ignores it because in the morning it doesn't matter. My son had a doctor's appointment valentines day at 12 pm, we...
A. 19 February 2011: That is not right in the slightest. People argue, that is not something he can use and an excuse and it is most certainly not something you should be blaming yourself for.
You should ask yourself about forgiving him. Knowing that he did this out... (read in full...)
Is 19 too young to get engaged?
Q. My boyfriend and I are almost at a year in our relationship,happier than ever, each day feels like the first. We have been friends going on three years now. We are 19, sophomores in college. I was just wondering, in anyones opinion, is 19 too young ...
A. 12 February 2011: Just be sure that it is what you both want and make sure you are ready for it. Make sure you are ready for any and all issues. Some relationships suffer and burn because of an issue they could not deal with and it exposed and ripped through even the ... (read in full...)
My bf is insanely jealous about my past, what can I do to make it better?
Q. I saw some posts about the same issue, but thought I'd ask again since my story is slightly different.. So, me and my bf have been together for about 5 months. We fell madly in love as soon as we met and kind of jumped into a relationship, so crazy ...
A. 12 February 2011: I suppose you will just have to be patient then. In time this problem will fade away and he will stop thinking about those images, he will cease to think about your past at all. It just takes time and perseverance so you can get through the ... (read in full...)
My bf is insanely jealous about my past, what can I do to make it better?
Q. I saw some posts about the same issue, but thought I'd ask again since my story is slightly different.. So, me and my bf have been together for about 5 months. We fell madly in love as soon as we met and kind of jumped into a relationship, so crazy ...
A. 11 February 2011: This is his problem, not yours. Unfortunately there is almost nothing you can do to make him forget about it. The problem is he cannot consciously force himself to forget about what he knows about your past. He can either learn to get over it or you ... (read in full...)
He's hot then cold, he's Jekyll then Hyde
Q. Sorry in advance for this long question. But there is a lot to my story. Just over a year ago, I met my boyfriend (who is 5 years older) we were both blown away, not just by how physically attracted we were to each other but also how well we got ...
A. 8 February 2011: Try taking a break from each other until he has had time to sort things out. I think he does still care about you but he has to figure himself out and find a way through these stressful times before he can have a girlfriend. That way he will be the ... (read in full...)
I love him and I don't want to lose him
Q. I am 23 year old girl and i really need advice on my life situation. in shorter terms - 4years ago i had a beautiful daughter to the man i once loved we sadly lost our daughter to heart disease and it left us devastated it slowly teared us apart and ...
A. 8 February 2011: First of all, forget your ex. I think it is best for both of your sakes because it will only serve to bring you both more heartache.
You need to talk to your boyfriend. Ask him why he treats you like this now? Have you become nothing more to ... (read in full...)
I'm dating 2 guys.... I cant pick between them
Q. I need help..... Ive always been in a realtionship and have been single for a year now had loads of fun but now I have met 2 great guys and I dont know who to pick!!! They are both great in differnt ways but I cant carry on dating the 2 of ...
A. 8 February 2011: You cannot just decide to date someone even though your feelings for him are faint at best so, 'guy number 1' is out. If you cannot trust a partner, your relationship will be unstable and hectic, full of worry more than anything else. In then end, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sooooo depressed, how can I help him?
Q. Its funny how long you can stare at a page and still have difficulty finding the right words to express everything you could possibly be feeling at the moment... i mean realistically no one can ever truly feel how you feel about anything. i mean i ...
A. 7 February 2011: He has tried seeing a therapist and that did not seem to help, even his parents cannot help him. This is something he has to go through by himself. He can still seek help, he will talk if he feels he needs to but I think he will find that this is ... (read in full...)
I didn't tell my abusive ex that we now have a daughter because I'm afraid what he might do
Q. I left my very abusive husband 2009 while I was three months pregnant. I had been living in a safe house to escape his verbal abuse which was making me ill to the point of not being able to eat. I had lost so much weight I couldn't stand up at one ...
A. 6 February 2011: You are doing what a mother would do. You are keeping your daughter out of harm's way and keeping her happy. Yes this is the right thing to do. Take precautions from here so he cannot reach you so easily. Good luck.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'm so in love with my friend it hurts
Q. i am so in love with my friend it hurts. i dont know how he feels about me.when we first became friends there was some flirting going on-more on m part because i fancied him and still do rotten. he says he enjoys my company and we get on very well. ...
A. 6 February 2011: I think he actually might feel the same way. These hints seem a lot like a man trying to subtly express a want, testing those expressions and observing your reactions. you should tell him and do not be afraid of losing him as a friend if you do. ... (read in full...)
Should I be honest or keep my mouth shut?
Q. I have had the same primary for years and he is well like by and respected by all through out the entire hospital. Over the past several months I have had to see him more due to some recent medical problems. I am in my early fifties married with ...
A. 5 February 2011: You are both married and I think you should start respecting that fact. What's more is you have children and this, what is this? What is this really? Something to soothe your sexual urge or your need for romance? Can that not be brought into your ... (read in full...)
I know in my heart that I deserve better. But I love him.
Q. I really don't know where to start. this is a long story so please brace yourself. Im really confused and honestly don't know what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. Hes my first bf (Im 18 and were the same age). I want to expla...
A. 4 February 2011: Wouldn't love have been enough to keep his lies away? Wouldn't love have been enough to keep him away from lying with another girl?
He my care about you deeply but it is not love, or at least, not the sort of love that can sustain a healthy ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to pull away when their wives need comfort?
Q. I have been feeling down a little these days due to family issues. I would think my husband would be a little more comforting but instead he is getting more distant. Is that normal for him to distant himself or is it me just in need of extra ...
A. 4 February 2011: Everyone reacts differently in the face of sorrow, whether they are the victims of sadness or its witness. I went through a period of time in my life where I was extremely depressed, on the verge of suicide everyday. There was this one girl who was ... (read in full...)
I'm unfaithful and it's killing me!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to the man I loved, and we have 2 wonderful children. After 4 happy years, a big issue based on my hubby's "unfair" suspicions, almost made our marriage collapse. We managed to overcome the matter but without going ...
A. 3 February 2011: You cannot think like that, you have to leave your husband, affair or no, you should not have to stay out of fear. You have to begin taking precautions, making preparations so that when you leave, you and your children have a secure future. Whatever ... (read in full...)
I didn't realize my true love until I emotionally abused her away....
Q. I made a many bluders but the biggest blunder of all has costed me my health, sanity and job. I ended up homeless and dependent on vodka to wash away the pain. I've recovered in all with the exception of love. Is there a chance that the swan wh...
A. 2 February 2011: It depends on how much she means to you and how deeply you truly feel about her. If you are sincere, then offer friendship instead. To be honest though, this most likely will get you nowhere, if you hurt her as much as I think you did, if you did ... (read in full...)
I'm unfaithful and it's killing me!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to the man I loved, and we have 2 wonderful children. After 4 happy years, a big issue based on my hubby's "unfair" suspicions, almost made our marriage collapse. We managed to overcome the matter but without going ...
A. 2 February 2011: It sounds as though you are trapped in this marriage but it seems as though you are in this out of fear rather than love. He threatens to destroy you and your children if you leave him? That is no way to win someone back. I have to admit I am deeply ... (read in full...)
I'm unfaithful and it's killing me!
Q. I have been married for 10 years to the man I loved, and we have 2 wonderful children. After 4 happy years, a big issue based on my hubby's "unfair" suspicions, almost made our marriage collapse. We managed to overcome the matter but without going ...
A. 2 February 2011: You have to stop seeing your friend. When you have sex with your husband, do you tell him what your wants and needs are? if you do, does he ignore you completely? You say he loves you deeply and yet you imply that you only find romance, trust and ... (read in full...)
Losing virginity - later linked to health problems: is there truth in this ABC news article?
Q. I am a male in my 20's and I am beginning to wonder if I have made the best choices in life or if I would regret my decisions regarding sex in the near future. I had made the choice not to have sex until the right woman appears in my life for ...
A. 2 February 2011: You have to understand that when an article fails to support their claims with at least some amount of statements that pass as evidence, it is usually just something to fill pages and attract readers but other than that, it is useless. Half the ... (read in full...)
Lie and lie again...
Q. I have this predicament.. I want to tell the whole story so everyone knows all sides.. I met this guy when i was 11 years old and we always flirted and we were good friends and then years later after him moving away and everything we got ahold of ...
A. 2 February 2011: You have to stop contacting your ex. Try and spend more time with your husband, go out and have fun with him because it is good for your marriage in general and it will help you take your mind off of your ex. You are married and marriage is a ... (read in full...)
In love with 25 years between us
Q. I am in Love with a Young Lady 25 years younger. She loves me as well. Will this relationship work 15 to 20 years from now? Why? support your response....
A. 1 February 2011: Why not? You two are in love for a reason and whatever reason that may be, I am certain age has absolutely nothing to do with it. If you are both willing, this relationship can work.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I heard fried chicken gives a guy an erection?
Q. Okay, my BF and I get really close when we hug, but he never gets a bonner, ever! I've always heard that even fried chicken gives a guy a bonner, why not me?...
A. 31 January 2011: Some guys can only get aroused when they want to get aroused. That does not mean he is not attracted to you. I have a few female friends, some of which I find quite attractive but I can hug them without getting an erection because I do not wish to ... (read in full...)
At what point in a relationship can one justify using the word 'love'?
Q. Hello, a very misleadingly simple question... at what point in a relationship can one justify using 'love' as opposed to the elements of infatuation to describe the mutual feelings between the two involved? As a mere teen-ager, I find the often-used ...
A. 31 January 2011: Give teenagers a little more credit, the more mature ones at least. The truth is, I doubt anyone really ever understands what love is, most people, young or old still take it for granted whilst others devote themselves to their partners because they ... (read in full...)
What can I tell him to persuade him to seek his family's safety first and acting on peace after?
Q. This is not a problem of mine but a friend. I work in a shop next to his and we talk alot. His wife and children would always visit him at his workplace and they were so happy. Sometime in June that all changed. He and his family went on a trip b...
A. 30 January 2011: Thank you for your answer Anonymous 123
I have said that to him, suggested all of this but he is adamant on waiting, he places faith in God, he says that God will watch over his children and his wife until peace can be achieved and whilst I have a... (read in full...)
I'm worried my husband will cheat on his business trip. How can I learn to trust him?
Q. My husband had sex with a prostitute while on a business trip, and once he returned he confessed to me and said he is guity. However, I cannot come to terms with this yet. It's been 2 years, he has been avoiding going to business trips, but now he c...
A. 30 January 2011: The bitter truth here is that you cannot learn to trust him, trust is something he should have been earning from you and if he has not done so already, now is the time to do so. He has a chance now to truly earn your trust by going on this business ... (read in full...)
I love my hometown so much I do not want to leave it, but there's no career opportunities for me here. Is it silly to stay even though?
Q. Hi there, I'm in my late twenties and I value my lifestyle possibly too much. I live in a small city that, to me, has everything. We're five minutes away from several beaches, forrests, tramping and hiking spots and one of the most beautiful na...
A. 30 January 2011: It is not abnormal to love something, no matter what it is. People have felt tortured being torn away from something far less, this is your home, of course you would feel sorrow at the thought of leaving it, who wouldn't?
If you are happy now, wha... (read in full...)
I'm always there for him and I'm a good mother to his kids...then why doesn't he trust me and love me back the way I do for him?
Q. hi i am an OFW, im in a long distance relationship, he is 10 years older than me, we are together for 7 years, and we have 2 kids. i love my partner a lot as if i cant see my future without him, though we are not married yet because of some ...
A. 29 January 2011: Painful words? It may be presumptuous of me but in my honest opinion, this whole thing sounds like it would be the beginning of an abusive relationship. Suspicions, unkind words, unreasonable accusations, be cautious. Hopefully I am wrong and it is ... (read in full...)
The most difficult question ever: What is Love???
Q. Last night my boyfriend asked my what does love mean to me. I told him it means everything to me .He said i dont understand. I told him its hard to describe love for me. Then he told me how can i love someone if i cant even describe what it is to ...
A. 29 January 2011: It is all too possible to love someone without being able to describe love itself. Love encircles a mass of emotion. Far too much for someone to easily explain exactly what love is and even if they could, I doubt anyone ever really knows what it is ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mistress to get an abortion... NOW!
Q. Hi. Just seeking some advice. I have been married for 7 yrs been with wife for almost 15. she's older than me by a couple of years (I am 37 my wife is 43 and my lover is 35). , but I think she is my soul mate. I cheated on her before this time, but ...
A. 29 January 2011: You cannot. You have no right to because she has made it clear that this is not her intention, you cannot pressure her into it. You should have been aware of the consequences of your actions and now is the time for you to take responsibility.
... (read in full...)
"You can tell how people will have sex by the way they dance", and my husband said I am a terrible dancer.
Q. Recently my husband and I have been having issues. He completely ignores me and only has mean things to say to me when he speaks unless we are doing ok. He does not talk things out to work them out with me. I let him throw his fit for a few days, me ...
A. 29 January 2011: Your husband sounds immature and I feel sorry for you, wanting just one night alone with him to enjoy only to be burdened with his nonsensical whining. As for what he read about any correlation between dance and sex, I would not believe it. There is ... (read in full...)
I chased a loser and lost a winner...
Q. Hi everybody I came here to vent and maybe someone can help me out. I'm lost and sad. I spent the past 4 and half years chasing after a man who come to find out had a fiancee. I found that out half way through but didn't leave him since he kept ...
A. 28 January 2011: You cannot do anything right now. He has someone and you have to move on. It might feel difficult but it is necessary, you cannot wait around and you cannot feed yourself delusions that he would break up with her for you which may or may not ... (read in full...)
Telling someone you cheated in the 1st 2 weeks after being together for 2 years?
Q. Ok so this is just one about cheating and being unfaithful I would like to ask the females since I'm a guy. If you cheated on someone in the first two weeks of a relationship because it was long distance and you didn't think that person would last ...
A. 28 January 2011: Considering the circumstances, I would not bring it up now. It would be rather pointless, firstly because you did it in the first two weeks of your relationship when you were presumably not that close and when this was a long distance thing and ... (read in full...)
My best friend hads lung cancer at 27 and she is pregnant
Q. ok. i am fourteen and my best friend is twentyseven. i meet her because i babysit her two year old daughter. she is like my sister.ive known her for two years. she just found out she is pregnant.she also just found out she has lung cancer.i am so ...
A. 28 January 2011: Absolutely nothing in this world is certain. There is hope that she could make it through this, there is even hope that the baby could survive as well but unfortunately the opposite is true as well. You can hope for the best.
Chemo... (read in full...)
He swore he'd never hurt me but I'm still insecure
Q. I need some advice about my boyfriend? Well, I was pretty much in bad relationships my entire life. When I was 16 until I was 22 I was in a relationshi with a guy who abused me physically and emotionally, he lied and cheated on me, and got me into ...
A. 27 January 2011: A little suspicion is natural, after all, it is rather odd that he would still be on dating sites, but when was this? Before or after you tried to end things with him? I suppose it is understandable that he would turn to those dating sites right ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my abusive marriage
Q. I need advice as to whether it is a good decision to leave my marriage: i have been married for 6+ years and on my first year my hubby hit me and again on the second year with no apology on both cases and even now when we talk about the issue i ...
A. 25 January 2011: This choice would not be selfish at all. Your sons need a better father and you need a better husband. You are the one who is suffering, it does not matter whether or not your boys love him because YOU have seen the darkness he is capable of and ... (read in full...)
I do everything I can for my husband and he treats me badly in return
Q. please could someone tell me where im going wrong. for the past 3 years i have have got up with my husband every morning to make him a cup of tea and drive him to his work(only a five minute walk away). by morning i mean varies from 1.30am to 3am. ...
A. 25 January 2011: You sound like the perfect wife. So keep your chin up and smile. You could talk to him, ask him why he says such things to you, find out if it is the stress of work that compells him to vent his anger upon you. If there is no reason, if he treats ... (read in full...)
My partner is posessive and doesn't allow me to have friends
Q. my partner is very possesive and wont allow me any friends. i dont work and am basically a recluse as im not allowed out. please could someone advice me on how i can make friends on line without my partner knowing. i feel i need company a...
A. 25 January 2011: Why have you allowed him to have such control over your life? What right has he to forbid you from having any friends? What right has he to take away your freedom? Is this A relationship or imprisonment? Go out and have your friends, go out and talk ... (read in full...)
Should I give up my plans and independence to get this visa or return home and try and pick up the pieces without him?
Q. Hi I really need some good advice. I am in the situation where if I want to be with my boyfriend, live with him then I cannot work for at least a year while we gather evidence for our relationship so I can get a visa on that basis - because we ...
A. 25 January 2011: I do not think this relationship is something you can rely on. If he was willing to force you out of the car, in some place you did not know at all, then how can you trust him to take care of you without fearing that if he felt angered by anything ... (read in full...)
Should I give up my plans and independence to get this visa or return home and try and pick up the pieces without him?
Q. Hi I really need some good advice. I am in the situation where if I want to be with my boyfriend, live with him then I cannot work for at least a year while we gather evidence for our relationship so I can get a visa on that basis - because we ...
A. 25 January 2011: I do not think this relationship is something you can rely on. If he was willing to force you out of the car, in some place you did not know at all, then how can you trust him to take care of you without fearing that if he felt angered by anything ... (read in full...)
Should I give up my plans and independence to get this visa or return home and try and pick up the pieces without him?
Q. Hi I really need some good advice. I am in the situation where if I want to be with my boyfriend, live with him then I cannot work for at least a year while we gather evidence for our relationship so I can get a visa on that basis - because we ...
A. 25 January 2011: I do not think this relationship is something you can rely on. If he was willing to force you out of the car, in some place you did not know at all, then how can you trust him to take care of you without fearing that if he felt angered by anything ... (read in full...)
Big decision, do I sell my soul?
Q. im 21 years old and have found myself in a really terrible financial situation. I don't feel like explaining the whole story but I made some bad choices on who to trust. The only immediate job that is paying good is doing massages. Call me naive but ...
A. 25 January 2011: You should not have to do something you are this uncomfortable with. Were it anything else, I would advise you to take the job but, it is not so simple. I strongly suggest you keep applying for other jobs and persevere. I have been through this ... (read in full...)
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