A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 21 years old and have found myself in a really terrible financial situation. I don't feel like explaining the whole story but I made some bad choices on who to trust. The only immediate job that is paying good is doing massages. Call me naive but I thought it was normal, until the owner was training me and said something about happy endings(no felatio just with hands). I really don't know what to do. I was not raised this way at all, I am very uptight, I have had sex with only 1 person which was my long term bf. I am not a sexual goddess nor am i experienced. The other girls working there are students and seem very nice but they seem much more comfortable with it. I don't know what I should do...tomorrow would be my first day. Do I choose to keep applying for other jobs and wait, even though I have no money,will be thrown out,no food...or do I do this and make a lot of money and save it up? Please give me advice everyone!
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 January 2011):
Once you cross the line of your own principles, you might never find your way back. I once talked to a girl who worked as a stripper in a club and asked her how she could do it. She told me at first that she was too shy to even move, but got more comfortable as time went on because her employer "didn't put pressure" on her. Then she got a request to give a lapdance for a guy "but no pressure". She declined the first few times out of principle, but agreed the third time. See where I'm going with this? I think I have a pretty good idea where she's now. It's a common manipulation technique. The key is to put someone at their boundaries and let them spend some time there. After a while the boundary has shifted and the employer gets what they want without having to force you.
You have to decide for yourself how important your principles are for you will lose some of them in this job. Money is short term. Crossing your own boundaries might be a consequence that will bother you long term.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Don't sell your soul for anything, not even for love.
BTW, the first guy you do this for may be a cop undercover, and he will bust you for prostitution and you will end up in jail and pay a huge price as the owner will be able to cover his tracks...and you won't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Hang in there and keep looking for another job. Dont do anything you wouldnt want splashed across the front page of your local newpaper. Borrow a little money, sleep on a friends couch, speak to someone at your local church but dont become a sex worker. Sex is special and you need to keep it that way in order to have a wholesome life x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Gabrielle is wise on this. She speaks good words. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (25 January 2011):
 If you have principles you should stick to them. Do not do anything you would not be comfortable with or regret later.
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A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 The other girls aren't comfortable with what they do at all, they've just learned to shut off from what they're actually doing.
You could probably do that too if you tried hard but you would be going against every thing you think is decent about you.
The chance of making money this way sounds great doesn't it but the truth is that the real cost far outweighs any financial gain you may make. There are others way to make money which don't need you to compromise your morals.
My advice is to follow your head and give the massage parlour a miss. Get out there and find something else to do to earn money.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Please dont ever give up your morals for anything.I know its easy for us here to sit on judgment and say this, because you're the one who's in a very difficult situation financially, but whatever it is, DO NOT do it. You wont ever be able to face yourself.
Keep looking for jobs, keep applying, but dont take this. At the end of the day, you need to be able to be at peace with yourself. Its better to bear the other hardships than sell your soul. Trust me.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Stick to your morals. There are other ways to earn money. Do what feels right in your heart.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 You should not have to do something you are this uncomfortable with. Were it anything else, I would advise you to take the job but, it is not so simple. I strongly suggest you keep applying for other jobs and persevere. I have been through this before, I had nothing, no home, no food and no money but I did not give up and now I am happy, I work, I have food on my table everyday and I have a roof over my head. You do not have to fall to this.
I hope that helps.
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