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*erberus_Raphael agony aunt

*erberus_Raphael

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*erberus_Raphael's profile:

I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.

If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.

Latest articles:

International Day of Tolerance

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...

< Prev345678910111213Next > [38 pages, 1474 answers]

My boyfriend who was arrested for domestic violence against me says he is changing. Can I believe him?

Q.   I had my boyfriend arrested for domestic violence after he pushed me while he was drunk. We have a no contact order until his court date at the end of April. We also have a 2 year old son. Although he is not supposed to contact me or our son, he p...

A.   1 April 2011: An abusive person, especially one who is such under the influence of alcohol, can definitely change. But it requires intense dedication and commitment. He will fail before he succeeds. If he is truly a good man, he will regret it all deeply but that ... (read in full...)

Being a single mom is hard...Is it bad to wish it hadn't happened?

Q.   Is it bad to wish for things not to happen? I wish I had never met a man, so I wouldn't have been in position of being knocked up. Being a "single mom" was not in my plans. If my child screams, I scream. I have no support system. My child is with...

A.   1 April 2011: You can be stronger than depression. Keep going, once you realize this, you will see that nothing else can ever stop you from enjoying life, specifically, the precious life you have birthed. God can take your hatred, there is a reason why you have... (read in full...)

Being a single mom is hard...Is it bad to wish it hadn't happened?

Q.   Is it bad to wish for things not to happen? I wish I had never met a man, so I wouldn't have been in position of being knocked up. Being a "single mom" was not in my plans. If my child screams, I scream. I have no support system. My child is with...

A.   1 April 2011: Just be strong and know that it gets better. Being a single mother has its torturous moments, same as any other situation life hands you but it also has its glorious rewards. Strive through it and it will get better. That is your son and he needs ... (read in full...)

Sex addiction is wrecking my relationship.

Q.   I think i am a sex addict and I need help to stop my . Before I go on I don't want anyone judging me. I was in a happy relationship with my boyfriend but things started to go south and I wasnt getting the amount of affection or sex i was used t...

A.   28 March 2011: The answer really is that simple though. Don't go cold turkey but limit yourself until you can stop. First try and go a day then two and so on and so on. Obviously it will not be easy so try to stop thinking about sex. Distract yourself if you find ... (read in full...)

Help! I'm in love with my housemate!

Q.   I am at uni and am mad about my male housemate. It is getting to the point where I feel I definately need to say something as its doing my head in. We have lived together for nearly a year now, and had casual drunken sex numerous times through out ...

A.   28 March 2011: Perhaps you could share a meal with him and tell him. However you decide to go about it just do not be afraid. There really isn't a right or wrong way to tell him how you feel about him nor is there a chance in the world that this could get ... (read in full...)

Isn't love in your actions, not your words?

Q.   I am married, and very unhappy as late. My husband is a kind man, but is also very inconsiderate and rarely expells any energy on me. He works long hours, and spends his free time working on his car. Which is all fine, but lately I am feeling ver...

A.   28 March 2011: It depends on what those words are but, from what I can gather, his words don't seem to entice you much either. The impression I got from reading this was that your husband's love goes mostly to himself and having you there feeds that selfish love. ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong of me to feel violated, and absolutely fuming that my boyfriend's colleagues had the audacity to stick their noses into my business and spread lies about me?

Q.   Hello, I don't know whether I'm just being silly here or whether I'm right to be as upset as I am. I've been with my boyfried for two years now and I love him and he loves me. Recently at uni there has been a guy who I just consider a frien...

A.   17 March 2011: Your boyfriend should trust you. You weren't actually doing anything wrong. I assume there was no flirting, there was no physical contact. I think you should talk to boyfriend about it, they are his colleagues so it is his choice, will he let t... (read in full...)

Is it truly possible to forgive betrayal? And if so, how does one start?

Q.   I've been with my partner for 5 months now. In the past she cheated twice even though we talked about working out our issues. i still can't get over the fact that she cheated. There's no trust here anymore, and she hasn't put forth any effort to ...

A.   17 March 2011: The bitter truth is that you cannot help feeling what you feel and if you try to force yourself into taking her back, purely based on the fact that you still love her, it will only end badly. There will always be a worry that haunts you every time ... (read in full...)

Why is he waiting to propose to me? Would it be wrong to leave him over this?

Q.   Okay me and my boyfriend have been together about 7 years off and on. I care about him alot and love him. During our years of being together I have cheated once during a time that we were not doing to good. Now, we have moved past that which was ...

A.   17 March 2011: Marriage isn't a stage in life, it is a promise that you both have to be willing to make. If he isn't ready then, he just isn't ready. It could be a number of things that put him off the idea. Your past affair could still be causing trust issues and ... (read in full...)

When choosing someone to marry, do you use your heart or your head?

Q.   I really need help... I have been with my boyfriend for more than 5 years. We have gone through so much together. We really had our trials but in the end what got as through is the foundation of our relationship. He's really my best friend. My ...

A.   17 March 2011: That depends on you. If you into this because your logic told you that he would be a better husband, would you grow to resent him later on in life? People have divorced each other for far less. Do you think, since he lacks a certain attraction, you ... (read in full...)

Do I keep the box of momentos from my son's bio father's funeral, or get rid of it because it will hurt my fiance?

Q.   I was going through my son's closet today and I found a box that has mementos from my son's biological father's funeral in it, we will call him "Cord" I don't know if I should show it to my fiance, we will call him "Michael" or if I should just hi...

A.   17 March 2011: Keep the box. No matter how deranged a man Cord was, he is still your son's biological father. If your son finds out one day, he can choose whether or not he wants to learn from his biological father's mistakes. Your fiance should understa... (read in full...)

I feel like he loves me just for my body

Q.   Guy i'm in a bind. I really really need some help right now. I'm having some problems with my boyfriend of 4 years. He asked me to marry him a few months back and we were really happy at first. Now I feel like he doesn't love me for me just for ...

A.   15 March 2011: Have you talked to him in these past few days about it? Does he know that this whole thing is threatening your relationship? He needs to learn proper self-control so he can make you happy and in so doing, he can be happy as well. He does care about ... (read in full...)

Unhappy tired mom told "give me more sex and I'll be nicer"!

Q.   iv been with my other half for 7 years now we have a 2 year old but i feel unhappy my partner works and i stay home with our kid i do all house work, cook and take our child out every day but if i ask my partner to sleep in same room as out kid so i ...

A.   14 March 2011: "he is good with our child when he can be bothered" That isn't the most wonderful description of a father. From what I have read he sounds immature. He thinks because he works he can lounge about the house doing nothing? That is not justified, that ... (read in full...)

I feel like he loves me just for my body

Q.   Guy i'm in a bind. I really really need some help right now. I'm having some problems with my boyfriend of 4 years. He asked me to marry him a few months back and we were really happy at first. Now I feel like he doesn't love me for me just for ...

A.   14 March 2011: I think he does still love you, it may just be this one persistent urge plaguing this relationship. What about the other aspects of your relationship? Does he at least take you out to dinner occasionally? He tries at least right? He tries to... (read in full...)

I really like my sisters best friend, what should I do?

Q.   Ok so I really like my sisters best friend and I've known her my entire life. She has a boyfriend, but idk how much longer they will last. I really wanna have sex with her, or at least see her nude. She's really hot, like amazingly. And my sister ...

A.   14 March 2011: If it is an urge born from lust, I suggest you turn away from her because you will only end up ruining everything between you, your sister's best friend and possibly your sister. Don't risk it. I hope that helps.... (read in full...)

I feel like he loves me just for my body

Q.   Guy i'm in a bind. I really really need some help right now. I'm having some problems with my boyfriend of 4 years. He asked me to marry him a few months back and we were really happy at first. Now I feel like he doesn't love me for me just for ...

A.   14 March 2011: I am afraid it may be time to end it. Perhaps this is just a phase he is going through. He mentioned being twenty-one and whilst his reasons for his sexual desires are far from justified, his own thought process may have led him down a cruel path. ... (read in full...)

Another cheater in distress...

Q.   Hello, I've been in a relationship for 3 and a half years now (it's been my longest). Almost half of this time I spent abroad for work. Four months ago, while abroad again for the last time, a girl flirted with me out of the blue and I stupidly l...

A.   14 March 2011: What can you do except for be a better boyfriend? Be honest from now on and make her happy. You didn't have sex with that other girl. Not in the true sense anyway. You didn't form any emotional attachment to that sordid occurrence, you have suffered ... (read in full...)

My partner is abusive so I am going to cheat on him!

Q.   Is it justified for me to cheat if my partner is abusive to me? I shouldn't say justified, but rather is it a good reason. I know I should just leave him, but i don't know how at this point. He hits me and threatens me and verbally abuses me. ...

A.   12 March 2011: C.Grant has said all that needs to be said. You do not need to cheat, just like how you do not need to be with this man. I hope that helps.... (read in full...)

Unhappy tired mom told "give me more sex and I'll be nicer"!

Q.   iv been with my other half for 7 years now we have a 2 year old but i feel unhappy my partner works and i stay home with our kid i do all house work, cook and take our child out every day but if i ask my partner to sleep in same room as out kid so i ...

A.   12 March 2011: 7 years of this? I can only imagine what he is like as a father. Would you truly be breaking up a family or has this ogreish already working on that. He isn't treating his wife right. He isn't behaving like a man should, god only knows what your ... (read in full...)

I know he's cheating but want the family-man back

Q.   My Fiancee of 8 yrs is cheating on me, He does not know I know he is cheating, a lot of red flags have gone off so I did some checking into this "affair/ fling" he is having. The other day I caught him by surprised with his cell phone open. I asked ...

A.   12 March 2011: It sounds like a mid-life crisis. I honestly do not know what to say because it sounds like you love him a lot and I am sure somewhere he still carries something for you, right now, he has just forgotten. It is a mid-life crisis so chances are that ... (read in full...)

Been told I have spine abifida, my life's over and I'm only 15!

Q.   Please someone help:'( i feel as though my lifes over, i cant stop crying, i went to the doctors and have got told i have spine abifida, its in the lower part of my bck so it ok, but i also have a twisted spine, im an average bubbly teenage 1...

A.   11 March 2011: Don't cry. You have all the reason in the world to keep being your bubbly self because this disease is a part of you but it does not define you. Its existence does not make you who you are and if the boys you meet cannot see that then you do not ... (read in full...)

My step-dad is emotionally abusive to my mother, half sister, and myself. How can I help my mum leave this man?

Q.   Hi, I need advise desperately! This question isn't really about me it’s about my mum. My parents split up when I was 7, and when I was 9 my mum found someone else. He wasn't really the perfect step-dad for me. I didn’t really like him much, never ...

A.   10 March 2011: You can start looking for houses if you can. Find one and tell her that it is where you should move because this man is not healthy for anyone. His own daughter hates him. The thing about emotional abuse is its tendency to tear away at someone's ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend threatens to hit me, and breaks up with me when he wants to sleep with other girls. He wants me to move in with him. Can he really change?

Q.   I hope that you can help me. I can't trust my family or friend’s opinion because they're obviously going to take my side. Alright so my boyfriend of a year is asking me to move back with him. I love him very much but he has done so many awful things ...

A.   10 March 2011: You will leave him, because he is a cruel and lustful boy and because you know you deserve better. You will not be just another person who left him, you will be someone he pushed away because he refused to see reason and instead chose to see a ... (read in full...)

Reconciling with my wife after a break and think a threesome would help

Q.   Ok me and my wife broke up for 1 year after a 3 year marriage,break up was basically down to her family and we both agree on this and have been cut out of our lifes,we have recently started seeing each other again,we live apart but have been ...

A.   6 March 2011: This is a tenuous time in your relationship and you cannot think that just because she has done it before, she is willing to do it again. Do you know for a fact that she is into that thing anymore? If you were I suspect you would not fear asking ... (read in full...)

How should I proceed.. My husband has gone astray...

Q.   I have just had my birthday, my husband gave me a small bunch of carnations and a card which he just left on the counter. The next day while cleaning up i found a receipt for the flower and card and on the receirt there was a second charge for ...

A.   6 March 2011: I think you need to leave him because, what he is doing is disrespectful. He is clearly lying to you, not well either. These are poor excuses he is offering you. For all I know, he could be having a midlife crisis, perhaps that is why he is behav... (read in full...)

Boyfriend buying me suggestive clothing. Is it ok?

Q.   My boyfriend has some different requests for me lately. He says I have a sexy little body and he would like me to show it off more. He has recently purchased some very skimpy clothes, like micro-mini skirts, tiny little shirts that show my stomach. ...

A.   6 March 2011: I think you should you talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him what you feel comfortable with and what you don't feel comfortable with. Perhaps I am being presumptuous, but it worries me that he would buy you things like these, it tells me that ... (read in full...)

I have let myself be "molded" into what hubsand wanted in a wife,and now I don't know who I am or how to find me.

Q.   I am turning 30 in a week. I cant help but look back at my 20's and think the only good that came of them were my 2 kids. My relationship has been more rocky than happy lately. I only have a high school diploma no further education,no job in the ...

A.   5 March 2011: When you seek change, you act to make it. What about what you want in a husband? Is he that man? If he respects you and cherishes you as his wife, he will support you and help you achieve your dreams as a husband should. Don't worry. Of course you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend heard a rumor that I'm cheating on him. How do I prove I'm not?

Q.   My boyfriend has trust issues due to his ex girlfriends cheating on him. He has a hard time trusting anyone. Every time something related to cheating comes up he gets so mad and accuses me. He gets so jealous when another guy even says hi to me. The ...

A.   5 March 2011: He would have had to have seen such proof already and if he hasn't by now, there is very little you can do to sway his mind. He is only one who can fix this by dealing with his paranoia. You could try to talk to him about this and ask him if he can ... (read in full...)

My friends say leave my husband of 8 years. What should I do?

Q.   i have been married for 8 years to the love of my life, he changed jobs 18 months ago and had to move on his own for 3 months, until we could find a home together. i moved in with him last new years day in a flat above where he worked. i list...

A.   5 March 2011: You love him so much that you are willing to forsake your own emotional health? Letting your own soul and mind slowly die away like this while he shows no respect for you? I agree with your friends, let go so you can find someone else. You will ... (read in full...)

I feel like we're Romeo and Juliet. How can we prove to each other's worlds that we really do love each other and want to find happiness together?

Q.   I met this really sweet wonderful guy who is alot older than me. We met about two months before my dad passed away and he was absolutely wonderful and supportive. My mom liked him. His daughter liked me. We had some really bad events occur in the r...

A.   3 March 2011: You start by talking to your mother about how you feel about him. You are old enough to make decisions and know whether or not they are the right ones to make. Your mother, is only doing what a mother would do to keep her child happy. You have ... (read in full...)

How do I make amends after I betrayed the love of my life?

Q.   Below is a very short insight into the world I shared with Peyton. The tone of this insight is rather dark and negative. But as that is the feeling of this time we are going through, even if it’s not together, I thought I would express that even ...

A.   3 March 2011: You have already learned from your mistakes, you have already accomplished what pain and self-loathing sought to teach. If you haven't already, you should tell her you are sorry. Try to be her friend again and go from there. You cannot rush anything ... (read in full...)

My husand used to abuse me, but has stopped...Is this real change?

Q.   Its been 7 months since my husband has been verbally or physically abusive to me or anyone else. He says he is changing,and has been on meds for the last 7 months. we have been together for almost 6 years. At the 4 1/2 yr mark is when he bacame ...

A.   2 March 2011: If meds are the only things that changed him, you should not even be with this man. Whatever issues he may have run deep and they will not stop him. He will strike you once more one day and it will come as suddenly as it has stopped. Spare yourself ... (read in full...)

After my girlfriend told me about her sexual past, I am disgusted! Should I have sex with her and leave her, or lose my virginity to another?

Q.   Hi, I have been dating this girl that is crazy in love with me. However, she started talking about her past. She told me that she didn't want anything between us and that she needed to tell me everything, because she trusts me and so on and so forth...

A.   28 February 2011: How dare you even contemplate these things! She, an innocent young woman has given her heart to you, revealing a past she is clearly ashamed of, to you, out of trust and a desire for complete honesty and here you are, foolishly contemplating revenge ... (read in full...)

Baby on the way, when is the right time to.....

Q.   I found out a few weeks ago that I am 12 weeks pregnant. Me and my partner are very happy, we have been together 1 1/2 years, I Know that isn't a long time but we love each other. We want to keep this baby because with his job and me working part ...

A.   28 February 2011: Your parents should be told immediately. Set a day and have your boyfriend with you when you tell them. Never assume you can handle things on your own with your boyfriend, you will need help, you will need guidance. If your parents reject you, let ... (read in full...)

My best friend is pregnant. My fiance is the father. Should we continue with planning our wedding as he wants to?

Q.   I've been going out with my boyfriend for five years and we are getting married in six months so technically he is my fiance. Everything was going so well for me i felt like i was living in a fairytale. My best friend since second grade was help...

A.   27 February 2011: Go with the engagement? And what of your best friend and the baby? He cheated on you and she betrayed your trust. I do not know where you now stand with your best friend but I know that you should be calling off the engagement and all plans for such ... (read in full...)

He abuses me verbally but he's the love of my life!

Q.   Hi everyone. Well I've been in a relationship with this guy for 11 months, so far this is the longest relationship I've ever had. He's 21 and I'm 17. I love him so much, more than I've ever loved anyone else but he's a violent person. In th...

A.   26 February 2011: Those fears you have about the future of this relationship have already given you the answer. He is a very angry person and so far, you have been lucky since you have not experienced his unreasonable wrath yet. It might feel like he is the love of ... (read in full...)

I'm down and depressed over problems that aren't even mine!

Q.   So i don't know how to start this really :/ basically, i feel seriously so down and depressed over someone elses problems ... i actually asked a question about this subject a while ago, so please look at that because i go into alot of detail a...

A.   26 February 2011: It is only human. We are social creatures, sympathetic creatures, we feel for our fellow humans. There is nothing wrong with it. You seem to think of this man as a good friend so it would be natural for you to have such feelings. There is a man wh... (read in full...)

I get sick of each guy I like before we even have a real relationship!

Q.   I don't know if this is just a normal teenage thing, but I have a problem with staying interested in the same guy once he's into me. I could like a guy for months, thinking that he's amazing and perfect for me. Then, when he finally likes me back, I ...

A.   25 February 2011: You are still a teenager, you do not know what it is you want in a boyfriend yet. Just because other people around you have boyfriend's, you do not have to follow. When you are older, when you have matured more, you will escape this pattern. Be ... (read in full...)

I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about using me for sex and then breaking up!!

Q.   hi everybody I've been crying my eyes out all day because when I was walked into the passway leading to my boyfriend's dorm room I overheard him bragging and giving high fives to his roommate about how he was going to break up with me after he ...

A.   24 February 2011: There are cruel men out there. Do not let them cause you such pain. His intentions were revealed to you before you truly lost anything. You are afraid that people will talk? Let them talk. Most of them do not know this pain you feel. Some of them ... (read in full...)

A man trying to love a once abused woman......

Q.   My girlfriend is 20yrs old and she just recently got out of a physcially abusive relationship about 1yr ago. How do I get her to understand that I love her and would nevet hurt her the way she has been hurt by her ex. I also dont wanna have to keep ...

A.   23 February 2011: She needs professional help. Be patient with her and give her time. She is still quite young, I can only assume she left her ex a year or so ago. Encourage her to get professional help to deal with this once and for all. If you truly love thi... (read in full...)

I don't want this guilt to be hanging over my head. How do I get rid of it?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and I am very much in love with her. She took a job in a different state 5 months ago but we both still wanted to stay together. Last night, at a local bar after having way too much to drink, I ...

A.   21 February 2011: You have already taken all the right steps in redeeming yourself from this mistake. Give it time, as long as you keep trying to be the best you can be for your now distant girlfriend, your conscience will grow still and you will truly forgive ... (read in full...)

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