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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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My partner cheated on me but I do see he had his reasons, can the trust be re-built?
Q. Ive been in a relationship with a man for 11 years now, for the past 5 years i got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, i have been very ill and over medicated on many meds, and when my partner is home on leave from working at sea, all i do is sleep ...
A. 4 June 2011: Don't think that way. Diseases cannot command what people feel for you. He could not help feeling the way he does but his actions and his pity does not mirror any sort of future. There are a multitude of people who would love a woman like you, ... (read in full...)
Iv been stuck in a rut all my life with disgusting boyfriends. How do I get out of this and what do I do?
Q. I apologize in advance for how ridiculously long this is. It's an all around vent/question thing and I'd really like some sound advice from anyone who has either gone through this and knows how to get out or would just like to help. Thanks... My f...
A. 22 May 2011: You can just keep looking for the right person. Its hard and its going to wear you out but you have to keep looking if you really want to find the right man, he's out there I swear it. Keep going on blind dates or look for them in places one would ... (read in full...)
When a guy calls you beautiful is he flirting?
Q. Sorry for it being long but i really need some help thank you. When guy friends says your beutifull is it flirting? They know i have a boyfriend who iv been with over a year but they comment on my looks alot and say good night beutifull at first i ...
A. 22 May 2011: Just ignore them. I'm pretty sure your boyfriend already knows other people think you're attractive and I doubt its going to really jeopardize your relationship in any way. But if its really bothering you then just tell them to stop. Say its fl... (read in full...)
Guys from other countries--would you consider a US girlfriend?
Q. Guys from the United States as well as other countries, can you please opine on this? I am not putting down my country or my compatriates but sometimes I wish I weren't American! Sometimes it feels like a real cross to bear. I would LIKE to...
A. 21 May 2011: Of course people from other countries would consider having a foreign girlfriend, a lot of people do have relationships with foreign people.
I think the reason why you may think American women are 'demonized' is because some American men want som... (read in full...)
I hit her, but now I want her to see I'm getting help for my anger problem
Q. I have been with my ex for almost 4 years. We were 17 ans 16 I know this is young but it was perfect. We have had our ups and downs. But our love has always won. We got our apartment in January of this year. We ended up getting into a fight and I ...
A. 19 May 2011: IF she is pregnant, you have to truly dedicate yourself to changing, mind, body and soul. IF she is pregnant, she could still decide to raise it without you, after all, in the case of many victims of abuse, they are discouraged from allowing the ... (read in full...)
I hit her, but now I want her to see I'm getting help for my anger problem
Q. I have been with my ex for almost 4 years. We were 17 ans 16 I know this is young but it was perfect. We have had our ups and downs. But our love has always won. We got our apartment in January of this year. We ended up getting into a fight and I ...
A. 19 May 2011: To be completely honest, even though becoming a better person with more self-control is something you need to do, I doubt it will ever bring her back. Each hit damages more than just a person's body, it damages that person's trust in you and in ... (read in full...)
I am not ready to be in the delivery room with my wife!
Q. Hi, my wife is about to give birth and I am not ready to be in the maternity ward when the process begins. I have no one else to be there with her as we are in a foreign country on our own and this is freaking me out. My wife thinks I will be there ...
A. 18 May 2011: Are you ever going to be ready? You need to be in there with her so when the time comes, muster up all the courage you can and step into that ward and be by her side. I swear to you, the process isn't as horrible as television depicts it to be. You ... (read in full...)
How do I forgive my husband and fall in love with him again?
Q. I've been married for 10 years. I chose my husband because he led me to believe that he was honest and spiritual. I thought he was perfect. As the years progressed, I found out that he was into porn, he would skirt around the truth a lot, and ...
A. 17 May 2011: I wish I could give you positive advice but I see only a huge lie that you were drawn to and unfortunately, you cannot force your heart to fall in love with someone who did all of that to you. He's immature, selfish, boorish and an absentee husband, ... (read in full...)
My best friend's wife.........
Q. Alrighty guys and gals,I have a little bit of a problem. For the past year or more now I've had feelings for my best friend's wife.Now before you tell me it's wrong and to let it go, I know, I tried, and thought I was over it......well the...
A. 16 May 2011: Stay friends and encourage her to talk to him about their marital issues. Be the best friend you can be, that's all you can and should do. It is good to see you are being a loyal friend to both of them. Don't act on what romantic feelings you might ... (read in full...)
Too young for me? Is it wrong to be in a relationship with him?
Q. I am 23 and am quite shy and not very good with guys, and I look young for my age and quite often getting mistaken for an 18-19 year old, but my questions is I have recently started to get to know this guy who is so lovely and so good looking but ...
A. 16 May 2011: What exactly is wrong with it? No one can tell you how to feel or how not to feel, you are free to be with anyone you want. Just make sure you wait until he's over 18 if you ever have sex.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Contacted by my first years later, and he wants me to behave like a whore
Q. I am 55 yrs. old. Out of the blue and old boyfriend of mine from high school, contacted via facebook..He was my first. I was 17 years old and was what i thought was true love. I was inexperienced and scared back then. Throghout many years I have ...
A. 16 May 2011: You don't feel good about it afterwards. What else is there to say except that it isn't worth those few hours of what fleeting physical satisfaction. Walk away from it and be happy.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Without explanation I'm horrid to my boyfriend!
Q. I have been seeing/dating a guy for over a year. He has changed my life in many wonderful ways; I am a much happier, confident person because of him. I love this man very much, more than I have ever loved anyone; he is very kind, very sweet, and ...
A. 16 May 2011: You've already begun to break the habit by admitting it and realizing that there was no reason behind it. Now you have to fight it. When he calls and you receive a bit of bad news, remember that other night and remember why you regret it and think ... (read in full...)
How long should people wait to have sex?
Q. So I know that two people should have sex when "the time is right" but I'd like to know opinions on how long is the usual good amount of time to wait? Usually when I meet guys we click really fast and enjoy each others company and it seems like ...
A. 16 May 2011: At too young an age, people tend to corrupt that phrase horribly. They want an excuse to have sex so they ready themselves to label almost any moment as 'the right time'. Good on you for being patient.
In a relationship, you need to slow down and... (read in full...)
Why do some nice people get exploited?
Q. Why do some nice people get exploited? I am a nice person and I've been walked on all my life. People take the piss out of me because they think i'm to stupid to notice and when i'm having a laugh and a joke, i always end the butt of it. I lived i...
A. 15 May 2011: Please don't feel that you need to surrender being friendly. Being friendly makes people happy and it brightens their day and some of these people will take a nice person for granted. The world is cruel out of intent or ignorance towards someone who ... (read in full...)
Do I believe what people are telling me or what I know in my heart?
Q. hello i recnetly answerd a question on yahoo answer, it was to a guy who wounderd why he was hated at work. with what he said i belived him to be hated because of how he treated gay people at work. i am a christian and was sooo shock at how he talk ...
A. 15 May 2011: Well what do you think? Should you believe your heart or what others tell you? When others come to believe the same lie, do you conform and accept their words without logic or do you trust in what you KNOW to be true.God loves us all regardless of ... (read in full...)
Mother has Psoriasis, any tips or advice on how to deal with it?
Q. Hello Agony's This isn't a medical question per se, my mum just wants a bit of advice. I'm doing this question for her because she's computer illiterate (bless her). She has recently been diagnosed with Psoriasis and wants to know how other ...
A. 14 May 2011: A certain amount of sunlight will help, not too much though because that could worsen it. I also heard that a spa in Turkey specializes in treating psoriasis with the help of Garra Rufa fish that suck on the affected areas of the flesh though, I ... (read in full...)
He's cheated before, and I'm wondering if he's cheating again?
Q. I just took my bf back and now i feel as if he's cheating. Every time we're around each other, we're always arguing or it's just silent. When he leaves out of the room to go to the bathroom or anywhere else, he takes his phone. When he leaves it ...
A. 14 May 2011: Just leave him. He's obviously no good for you and he'll just keep hurting you again and again. You don't want to, nor should you, spend the rest of your life with an untrustworthy person like him, knowing that, where exactly is this relationship ... (read in full...)
Relationship Problem, seriously confused
Q. I have a fiance who i have been with for 3 1/2 years, we have both cheated before, made our peace,and moved on from it. My best friend just returned to the area,and I have always had a crush on her,for about 9yrs,recently she seems to be sharing ...
A. 12 May 2011: You have to leave your fiancee. It seems as though you two just cannot trust each other. This relationship isn't a good idea if disloyalty will be a constant worry. If you break up with your fiancee, you will be free to be with whosoever you desire ... (read in full...)
Girl I am dating asked me if I want to see sex tape of her and a guy from college, and says her ex-bf liked to watch it! What do I make of this???
Q. Aunts, can you please give me some perspective of this please. I have been dating this girl for like 3 months. she is gorgeous, 26, very sweet. I know she has a number of bfs in the past and she's experienced with guys. But i dont let that intimid...
A. 12 May 2011: I find myself taking a liking to what Cupidus has said, to a certain extent.
What do you know for sure? You really like her and she obviously really likes you. Its understandable that you would get uncomfortable because of this but to go so far a... (read in full...)
I'm a mess and not sure how to be happy again... Please help!
Q. I can't take it anymore. I was in love with my cousin for 2 years, but when I asked her if she shared my feelings she said no and told all her friends at school. Now I'm being picked on by every one... Even most of my friends have stopped talking ...
A. 12 May 2011: And forget about those who make fun of you, it'll stop, don't worry about it, besides, in a few years, you won't even know this people.... (read in full...)
I'm a mess and not sure how to be happy again... Please help!
Q. I can't take it anymore. I was in love with my cousin for 2 years, but when I asked her if she shared my feelings she said no and told all her friends at school. Now I'm being picked on by every one... Even most of my friends have stopped talking ...
A. 12 May 2011: Do you know if feels the same way? If you think she does, go ahead and ask her with confidence. Even if she doesn't though, I think you should tell her how you feel about her, you shouldn't keep that sort of thing locked up inside, you need to tell ... (read in full...)
I came home and found my hubby had been going on porn sites, now he says I'm over reacting! Am I??
Q. I came home from vacation and found out my husband was going to porn sites. That didn't bother me as much as him going on live camera sites and was able to chat with these woman. He thinks I am over reacting. I feel so cheated on. I know porn is ...
A. 12 May 2011: Don't let him tell you that you are overreacting. A lot of women feel very uncomfortable with their partner's watching porn and with good reason, it is a whole different matter when he goes on live chat sites. He's ignoring the fact that it makes ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife to get professional help or hope she straightens things out herself?
Q. I have been married to my wife for 6 months. She is a medical professional. One of her co-workers contacted me to ask me if she has problems because she is not enthusiastic or energetic about her work like she used to be, and made a “joke” about ...
A. 11 May 2011: She might need professional help. It seems like depression although I cannot be too sure. It's just the impression I got from how her co-workers seem to describe her as somewhat lethargic now and her response when you asked her how she felt. It ... (read in full...)
My friends have all turned against me and now I'm afraid to go back to Uni!
Q. I have fallen out with my friends at university, they have been leaving me out for months due to my depression. (Long story but basically they see me as a psycho). Anyway, we have all recently been on quite civil terms verging on friendship again ...
A. 11 May 2011: Forget about them then, you need to focus on passing your exams. As for them, you offered them friendship, you tried to be the best you could be and still they sought ways to try and break you down. They're bullies or fools and you don't need them. ... (read in full...)
My sister's child is calling me mama...
Q. my sister got pregnant by a fool and lives at home with my parents and me and my 2 other younger siblings. She goes out when she wants and pays for nothing for the child and has no responsibility for the child. I babysit it quite a bit when my ...
A. 11 May 2011: Its not really something you can help. The only one who can change it is your sister who needs to start being a little more responsible. It is HER child and she needs to realize just how much that actually means unless she doesn't want it. If she ... (read in full...)
My wife is cheating and I don't know what to do, please help!
Q. i been marry for 18 years with my wife we have 3 kids and she cheated on me with some guy about 3 years ago the in November last year i seen her texting some one she got nervous and hid her cell phone so later that day i found it and was checking ...
A. 11 May 2011: She told you that you are lucky to be with her? And what horrid luck has bound you to a untrustworthy woman like her? Don't listen to her, leave her.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Things feeling different between my boyfriend and I
Q. Okay im 29 weeks pregnant. and her latley i have been feeling like my boyfriend is cheating on me.im not sure if it's hormones or what it is. but sometimes i get a gut feeling and then i feel like im gonna drop down and cry i know it probably...
A. 10 May 2011: I think there's too little evidence here to accuse him of cheating. He's a little oblivious to certain things but, I don't think you can yet accuse him to being disloyal.
I think you should tell him how you are feeling about everything. Don't ma... (read in full...)
Surely if he loved me he would accept some of my requests?
Q. Ok so i am 21 years old gal, have been with my boyfriend for two and half years now, we want to spend our lives together and I like the guy, he is sweet , caring. As a lot of time has passed now, i guess he has started to show his true nature. He ...
A. 10 May 2011: You shouldn't have to feel like a slave. Why shouldn't a man help with chores? What reasons has he given? If he says something like "it just is" I would seriously consider leaving him for someone a little more responsible and less likely to attempt ... (read in full...)
Will I regret marrying him if his family hates me?
Q. Is it my fault my in laws hate me? At first they were ok with me but I knew straight away that his brothers wife instantly didn't like me and has always been a total cow including saying nasty things to my son any chance she gets, she refuses to ...
A. 10 May 2011: You stand your ground with dignity and respect. No matter what they say to you, no matter how harshly they treat you, for the sake of your fiance, the man you love, the father of your child, you maintain your politeness and respect for them. In ... (read in full...)
My wife is cheating and I don't know what to do, please help!
Q. i been marry for 18 years with my wife we have 3 kids and she cheated on me with some guy about 3 years ago the in November last year i seen her texting some one she got nervous and hid her cell phone so later that day i found it and was checking ...
A. 10 May 2011: I don't suppose you can ever trust her again. She's lied to you about pretty much everything that matters. As noble as staying for your children sounds, it will only end badly, especially since in your heart right now, fumes anger and hate. No one ... (read in full...)
He wants me to look like my bestfriend?
Q. My boyfriend loves me and I know he thinks I'm beautiful, he tells me every day, but he always makes comments about how he thinks my bestfriend is hot. she is absolutely gorgeous in every possible way..he drops hints that I need to be skinny like ...
A. 10 May 2011: Say something! That just isn't right! He seems like he's openly trying to turn you into your best friend! In a relationship, you either accept your partner as they are (in terms of appearance and most aspects of personality) or you end the ... (read in full...)
My best friend's little brother has a crush on me, what should I do?
Q. Hii, I just slept at my frieds house because my mum went away for the weekend. Just before i went homemy friend told me her younger brother has a crush on me. Just before she told me she was in the kitchen making me and her a sandwich i was o...
A. 10 May 2011: You don't have to do anything, its just a crush. Try as he might, if he doesn't win your affections, he'll move on easily.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend about this?
Q. My boyfriend and I are long distance. Recently a friend of mine asked me out, and I told him no, I was dating someone. I'd guessed he liked me but I hadnt been fully sure. My question is, do I tell my boyfriend about this? It seems like an odd...
A. 10 May 2011: If you think it would be in his best interests, but personally, I do not see why it would matter, unless you felt something, even something small for the person who asked you out? If not, it shouldn't matter. But if you'd want him to tell you, I ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't believe in marriage. Will he ever marry me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together near two years, both early thirties, known each other since we were fifteen. I have been married and divorced twice and have two children and cannot have any more, he does not want children of his own. We have ...
A. 10 May 2011: There isn't much you can do, his mind would have been set. I suppose over time, he might grow to see things differently but right now, it isn't much of a problem is it? You two seem practically married anyway. I get why you'd want the actual ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that my mother has ovarian cancer
Q. I am so nervous and scared. My mother had blood work done and urine as well recently. She is 60..the found blood in her urine..they tested again and still found blood. They did a urine culture. He said it was bacteria but not a UTI which i thought ...
A. 9 May 2011: First of all, while its good to research this kind of thing online, make sure you avoid worrying yourself whenever you read about a symptom. I assure you, things aren't always what they seem, especially in the world of medicine. Nothing is ... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on me but I do see he had his reasons, can the trust be re-built?
Q. Ive been in a relationship with a man for 11 years now, for the past 5 years i got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, i have been very ill and over medicated on many meds, and when my partner is home on leave from working at sea, all i do is sleep ...
A. 9 May 2011: You try to defend him? What he did was weak and cruel. You are fighting a disease and quite a debilitating one at that. True, he was alone because you were on meds and asleep, is that a reason to cheat? The answer here is no. There is NEVER a reason ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like I am paranoid, or is this likely to be my gut instinct telling me something?
Q. Am I just being paranoid over this or not? I am deeply in love with a man I have been in a relationship with for the last nine months. We work together and are keeping this under wraps because of the company rules. We are very close in all ...
A. 9 May 2011: Trust your gut instinct. You have all the reason you need to. You tell him how you feel about it and what you suspect and if he replies with "you're just being paranoid" you tell him that either way, his behavior hurts you, the way he acts around ... (read in full...)
I just don't feel comfortable in THAT bed anymore.
Q. Hey, I need some help to be able to get back into my boyfriend's bed after finding him in bed with two girls a couple of weeks ago...now, every time I go into his bedroom, I get a sinking feeling and can't get into his bed. So, some background:...
A. 8 May 2011: He could get a new bed. Or you could just carry on as you do now, staying at your place instead.
Has he actually put effort into changing? Does he still go and drink with his friends? I'm not saying that he should stop completely but he should s... (read in full...)
Guy who I know is gay is dating my best friend who is a girl. Should I tell her??
Q. So a couple of days ago I found out my friend is gay, (I suspected it though he came out and told me) But he has been dating my best friend for over a year... and he like see’s these guys behind her back and things. I have some proof on my comp...
A. 8 May 2011: It's something you need to talk to him about. Give him a chance to tell her since it is a complicated matter but don't dive into this situation head-first. Talk to HIM about it before you tell her. If he refuses to at least think about it, then, by ... (read in full...)
How can I make my Mom stop worrying about me?
Q. I should feel really grateful that my mom is still around for me to love, and I AM. My problem isn't particularly serious but I feel a little bit guilty because tomorrow is Mother's Day and I'm far away from my mom. Right now, I'm living in Me...
A. 8 May 2011: Why don't you find a way to bring your mother over to Mexico? Show her what it's like. Send her photos of the places you love just to show her that she doesn't have to worry about you. Mexico is just no more dangerous than any other country on ... (read in full...)
After my break-up: Should I listen to my head that says "move on", or to my heart that says "wait for him"?
Q. So, there's this guy. He was amazing in every sense of the word. He listened to me when I needed him, he'd hold me tight when I was sad, he talked to me every day and told me he loved me.... And then we broke up. I was upset over officer Tirado d...
A. 8 May 2011: Maybe he just didn't know how to handle it. Don't condemn him just yet. You're both quite young and he may not have been able to console you because maybe, he didn't know how. He says he still loves you, he was just lost.
He was there with you... (read in full...)
My husband want to take a break from our rocky marriage by having sex with other women! And he says people do this all the time!!
Q. hey. im 25 years old and married. ive known my husband for 10 years, dating for 5, married for 3. we are going through a rocky patch. my husband has suggested we split for a week or two and have sex with someone else. i am worried though that he ...
A. 8 May 2011: Couples don't do it all the time. At least not the ones I know. You have to ask yourself whether or not this is the person you want to stay married to for the rest of your life and if he runs away every time there's a rough patch in your marriage, ... (read in full...)
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