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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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My husband want to take a break from our rocky marriage by having sex with other women! And he says people do this all the time!!
Q. hey. im 25 years old and married. ive known my husband for 10 years, dating for 5, married for 3. we are going through a rocky patch. my husband has suggested we split for a week or two and have sex with someone else. i am worried though that he ...
A. 8 May 2011: Couples don't do it all the time. At least not the ones I know. You have to ask yourself whether or not this is the person you want to stay married to for the rest of your life and if he runs away every time there's a rough patch in your marriage, ... (read in full...)
What does it mean to say someone is "damaged"?
Q. So Aunts, I have a question. I have been hearing this statement a lot in the past few years. "You don't want to date her; she's damaged," or "Because of all his experiences, he's unfortunately damaged." What does it mean to be "damaged"? A...
A. 8 May 2011: If someone is 'damaged', people usually refer to them being a lot of work. For example, a lot of posts on here refer to prostitutes as being 'damaged', meaning, they might have a complete aversion to sex or a disliking to particular things or they ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never wants to take any pictures with me & I have no idea why!!
Q. First off I would just like to say I'm not the type of girl that stops and wants to take pictures every 5 seconds. I'm not that way at all, I actually kind of don't like taking pictures much because I don't like the way I look.. but anyways besides ...
A. 8 May 2011: Obviously you love each other and if you get the impression he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he's obviously very in love with you too. A lot of people are self-conscious about themselves and maybe they just don't like the way they ... (read in full...)
Does being ambidextrous mean I have something developmentally wrong with me?
Q. This isn't exactly a relationship but a question about human biology... it's not sexual but a question about my body. I hope that counts? It's not a serious problem but I'm just dying of curiosity. I don't have a dominant hand and don't think ...
A. 8 May 2011: Ambidexterity is rare but it isn't a sign of any illness, it isn't a symptom of a mental health problem, it literally is just the ability to use one hand just as well as the other. It's an advantage.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I'm so full of rage towards my cruel and abusive ex, I want to seek revenge. Please help.
Q. Hello all, Please can you advise. Thank you. I have recently managed to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Well, the relationship itself did not last long, but I was weak, and let him come back into my life for months, and he h...
A. 8 May 2011: He manipulated you and abused you, tortured you because he wants to see you like this. Why do abusive people do what they do? To see their victims break down. If you act out of vengeance, he wins. Even when he isn't there, he's left one last ... (read in full...)
He treats me horridly and then blames me for his behaviors!!
Q. What is wrong with him. I am a 36 yr old woman, my partner is 42. we have 2 children 3 and 6 yrs. We dont currently live together as we had broken up some months before. We were recently getting along better and had started to become a family again. ...
A. 8 May 2011: Forget about him completely. You have absolutely no reason to contact him again or have him in your life. Your children definitely don't need him in their lives. No matter how many times you put a violent man in prison, he will always stay violent, ... (read in full...)
I'm lonely. My husband's a serial cheater. Would he really care if I had an affair?
Q. I have been married to the same man for almost 23 years. I divorced him once because he cheated on me...then we remarried. For the past ten years,he has cheated on me. Last year I found out he was involved in a four year affair. He swore he love me....
A. 8 May 2011: You don't even know why you stay with him. There's nothing left for you here. Don't you want to be single when the right man comes along? You don't have to be just like your husband, you don't have to cheat on him because he cheated on you, just ... (read in full...)
She's starting an emotional affair, how can I stop her?
Q. My wife hadn't heard from her ex-boyfriend in almost 20 years and suddenly through the magic of Facebook he is in her life again. I have to say that I hate Facebook. The endless parade of creeps admitting to having secret crushes on my wife get...
A. 7 May 2011: First of all, you have to stop pressuring her into making these promises. You cannot demand this sort of thing from her or else you risk pushing her away and I doubt that is what you want. I can tell from what you've written and how you wrote it, ... (read in full...)
Men don't like me, what can I do?
Q. I am getting so wary, in my whole life I had only a handful of terrible relationships, and because I prefer to be alone than in a terrible relationship I was mostly alone. I thought for many years that it was because of my looks, last year I even ...
A. 7 May 2011: Have you tried asking your friends to set you up on a blind date? Surely they would know people you would like?
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Help me get her back please!
Q. I need help. :( I have just gotten back home from the U.S Army, i was deployed for a year. and going back sometime later this year. But thats not what i came to talk about.. My wife.. lets call her Nicki is an amazing woman, and i lov...
A. 7 May 2011: Unlike most others you actually seem like you deeply regret it and you really love her. So you're not an asshole. Even though it was a terrible mistake, I get why you were so drawn to Sara. But now you've learned and you're ready to be a better ... (read in full...)
Did I inadvertently influence my brother to become bisexual?
Q. My younger brother came out to me recently, telling me that he is bisexual. I really do support him, but I also am feeling overwhelmed by the situation. I feel I may have influenced him. When we were 12 and 15, I went through an experimental...
A. 7 May 2011: Don't worry about him and don't think that you affected him, his preferences simply appeared as they did, naturally.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
I want my teacher to adopt me!
Q. my relationship with my family has been getting worse, my mother has been sick since december,and we dont know what it is. shes been out of work, and im on crutches with a hurt knee, and whenever i need her i ask her but she gets so mad when i need ...
A. 7 May 2011: In that case, I think you should maybe consider adoption as a last resort if you ever find yourself emotionally exhausted of it all. If they are good people, you should definitely give them a chance.
Just keep in touch with your teacher and your... (read in full...)
Why do privileged kids seek out the worst society has to offer?
Q. American society is so degenerated that regardless if you have money to keep your kids in private schools and middle class neighborhoods they will still find drugs, engage in criminal activity, and hang around the wrong people. I HAVE SEEN IT! ...
A. 7 May 2011: Growing up in poverty earns you a bit of strength. You start to appreciate the smaller things that others might not see or hear or feel. When your an adolescent child, your mind just cannot say no. Suddenly doing drugs, drinking and having lots of ... (read in full...)
I want my teacher to adopt me!
Q. my relationship with my family has been getting worse, my mother has been sick since december,and we dont know what it is. shes been out of work, and im on crutches with a hurt knee, and whenever i need her i ask her but she gets so mad when i need ...
A. 7 May 2011: I cannot imagine how hurt you are, how much you go through everyday but you have to understand that even though she cares about you, adoption might not be possible. You're asking for her to bring you fully into her life, you also have to consider ... (read in full...)
He raised this girl for 7 years but she is not his daughter, and now she is calling him a bit too much and it is making me uncomfortable....
Q. So my bf of 1 year had a previous relationship 12 years ago and supposedly raised her daughter for 7 years. well last year before he met me he started talking to the daughter who is now 16 but she calls over and over, sometimes up to 7 or 8 times ...
A. 6 May 2011: 7 years is a long time to look up to someone, that sort of respect and emotional dependance doesn't simply disappear. In many ways it is the equivalent of her biological father just disappearing from her life. She'll want to know why. This is ... (read in full...)
His parents hate me.. How can I get them to accept me? Or do I break up with him?
Q. I'm dating the most amazing guy, but his parents do not want me to see him and try to not let me see him. They hate me for no reason at all. He fights with them, so he can take me to places and now they told him to date anyone except for me. I don'...
A. 6 May 2011: Then accept that there is no reasoning with those who don't wish to see reason. If he wants to be with you and you want to stay with him, by all means stay with each other and don't keep it a secret from them. He has to let them know that they have ... (read in full...)
What if one day we have absolutely nothing in common?
Q. OK, so after near 7 months, he said, "I love you." I know just how serious this was for him, given his past and the need to be sure he was ready and meant it. He even recently said I should start leaving clothes at his place so that I can stay ...
A. 6 May 2011: You cannot possibly know that. You cannot nor should you attempt to plan out conversations for the rest of your life, I know that's not what you're trying to do at all but worrying about it is in some ways the equivalent. As everyone else has ... (read in full...)
I'm rare, but does that make me wrong?
Q. I seem to have the perfect life in which I am fully satisfied with but yet everyone seems to think that there is something wrong with me. I am 23 years old,I have had years of community service, a Black Belt in two martial arts, a loving girlfriend ...
A. 6 May 2011: You are happy. As far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters. Don't listen to what they said. You're devoted to your girlfriend and you're probably making her very happy because of that, you're the type of guy almost all girls look for, if you ... (read in full...)
Men don't like me, what can I do?
Q. I am getting so wary, in my whole life I had only a handful of terrible relationships, and because I prefer to be alone than in a terrible relationship I was mostly alone. I thought for many years that it was because of my looks, last year I even ...
A. 6 May 2011: Try aiming to make friends first instead of thinking too much about a relationship. Give people a chance to know you without the pressure of having to decide whether or not they want to date you. Do you have any male friends? I'm not suggesting you ... (read in full...)
A close childhood friend doesn't like my girlfriend - we got invited to her wedding...should we go?
Q. Some very good female friends of mine, which I know since we were young, were really mean (to say the least) to this other girl when they met her in college. This girl now happens to be my girlfriend of almost a year, and soon to be my fiancée. ...
A. 5 May 2011: What exactly is your opinion of them? You seem to agree with your girlfriend that they are not the most pleasant of people to be around. Do you spend a lot of time with those two close friends? If not, I would suggest not going. For two reasons:
... (read in full...)
Men don't like me, what can I do?
Q. I am getting so wary, in my whole life I had only a handful of terrible relationships, and because I prefer to be alone than in a terrible relationship I was mostly alone. I thought for many years that it was because of my looks, last year I even ...
A. 5 May 2011: Perhaps they are intimidated by you. A lot of beautiful, perfectly lovely women feel insecure because a lot of men themselves lack confidence enough to approach a woman like you, much less to hold a conversation.
I'm sure there are men who like... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to think that my wife and I might reconcile?
Q. My wife is divorcing me after 12 years.We've had ups and downs but no abuse, alcohol or drug problems. The biggest problem probably is depression in both of us. She is on anti depressant and I only started a few weeks ago, I'm 57 and know I should ...
A. 5 May 2011: No one can tell you that it is wrong for you to hope. You still love each other right? Then there is always hope. You may not reconcile soon but later in life when you are both better. Financial troubles have a way of creeping through the unseen ... (read in full...)
I caught my ex cheating in the office! Would you turn her in?
Q. I caught my ex gold-digging past-lover that I work with screwing with another person in the office this morning? I caught them and now have extremely incriminating evidence against her and I would love to get her kicked out of the office for ...
A. 5 May 2011: You're thinking about possibly ruining someone's life completely or at least, severely wounding it. If she really is as helpless as you say she is, not being able to do anything right, isn't she lucky to still have this job? Surely if not for her ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with him, but he seems to be using me as a business arrangement
Q. It's been hard for me. I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years with a man who's much older than me and never married. I was so attached to him and loved him. He cared a lot about me too. He's been good to me when we are together. We talk,...
A. 5 May 2011: You stop contacting him and ignore him when he contacts you. He's just using you now and you know it. It isn't hard for a foreigner to get around China without speaking the language, he'll get by so don't let him use that excuse. This isn't love ... (read in full...)
She cut contact after her husband made a pass at me. I miss her, should I contact her?
Q. Im not sure how to put this.....my life long best friend and I havent had any contact for more than 5 years and I really miss her. No, we didnt have an arguement or anything. Her husband made a pass at me and I did not tell her. He has done thi...
A. 4 May 2011: Just contact her and tell her that you're sorry for not telling her when her husband made a pass at you and then ask if you could try to rekindle your friendship once more. You were life-long friends and you were close, surely she will be willing to ... (read in full...)
Does being in a romantic relationship contribute to happiness?
Q. Does being in a romantic relationship contribute to happiness? Romantic relationship meaning a committed, stable, relationship. you also must be with the same person for at least 2 years....
A. 4 May 2011: Well, look at it this way, there is a reason why most people are so passionately driven to find that perfect someone and why when some people do find what they might refer to as their 'soulmate' they would not give them up for anything, they would ... (read in full...)
How to go from close friendship to relationship?
Q. This question is about a friend of mine and a girl he really likes. Unfortunately, I am not qualified to help him out and therefore I need your help. So, this is the story: My friend is a student, just like myself. He met a relatively yo...
A. 3 May 2011: My advice remains the same. Except now he can definitely go and say it with confidence.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Is this emotional abuse - so confused!!!
Q. Hope someone can help me. I've been with a guy for nearly 2 years now. He has always had a kind of 'firey' nature and tends to sulk a lot. I suffer from depression and when I am happy he gives me loads of attention and love. However wen ...
A. 2 May 2011: Maybe he just isn't used to consoling people, you did say he sulks a lot, perhaps he doubts his ability to comfort you because of his own inner demons. Some people are just like that. What you really have to ask is whether or not he is actually good ... (read in full...)
How to go from close friendship to relationship?
Q. This question is about a friend of mine and a girl he really likes. Unfortunately, I am not qualified to help him out and therefore I need your help. So, this is the story: My friend is a student, just like myself. He met a relatively yo...
A. 2 May 2011: Your friend can do either. Just so long as he does not pressure her into saying anything. If he says something like "I really like you", it's fine as long he does not expect an almost instantaneous reply. If she says nothing, move on from the ... (read in full...)
Where have all the good men gone? Any suggestions on how to find them please?
Q. I've been actively dating for the past year. Overall, I've been extremely disappointed by the experiences I've been having. I've found many to be extremely selfish, immature, and have no respect for women. I've found that some men treat women li...
A. 2 May 2011: Maybe you're looking in all the wrong places. There are men like that, few in number perhaps and that's a shame but, they are out there. Everyone nowadays seems to be drawn to the wrong person. Perfectly good people bound to someone who treats them ... (read in full...)
Should I fogive him one more time or has he gone too far this time?
Q. I met my husband at a club nine years ago and within a week he moved into my home.. I didn't live there at that time but within two weeks my kids and I moved back into our home with then my boyfriend. Things were going great... the kids liked him ...
A. 2 May 2011: Your mistake was giving him a chance after he'd changed so drastically, after he'd lied to you again and again. Do you still love him? You are supposed to fight for your marriage but how can you when your partner is running away? You need to get ... (read in full...)
His parents hate me.. How can I get them to accept me? Or do I break up with him?
Q. I'm dating the most amazing guy, but his parents do not want me to see him and try to not let me see him. They hate me for no reason at all. He fights with them, so he can take me to places and now they told him to date anyone except for me. I don'...
A. 2 May 2011: Have you ever been alone with them to discuss things? Ask them what reason they have to hate you and listen to them, answer any questions truthfully and let them know how you feel about their son. He obviously really wants to be with you, to fight ... (read in full...)
Can he go to prison for being with me?
Q. Im 15 years old and my boyfriends 20, we are in love no doubt about it, but can he go too prison for being with me?...
A. 2 May 2011: Yes. You are under-aged and if he did anything with you he would go to jail, in fact, if he did anything with you, he SHOULD go to jail. If you are really in love, wait at least four years. When you turn 18, you'll be free to love him but for now,... (read in full...)
Should a guy really forgive a girl for being rude because she is on her period?
Q. Is a woman's cycle really a reason to forgive her sudden bitchiness? ...
A. 2 May 2011: I live with four other girls, I am the only guy in my household so I can tell you from two decades of experience of this that personalities may change. My mom who is mostly a reasonable and harmless woman will suddenly change to this irrational and ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and scared! Am I going to lose him?
Q. ok so me and J are doing perfect in our relationship. but i am only 17 and he is only 16 and jus recently i found out i am pregnant... will our relationship go downhill? will he leave me for another girl again? will he continue to smoke weed even ...
A. 2 May 2011: Then prepare to take care of this baby without him. If he does keep his word and shows effort enough in taking care of both of you, then that's excellent and you can slowly start trusting him again but if he doesn't, talk to your parents, make ... (read in full...)
No boys have any interest in me!
Q. I'm 13 and never had a boyfriend. All my friends have had atleast one and everyone says I'm not ugly and I'm interesting to talk to but no boy has seem to have any interest in me!! Is there something wrong with me??!!?? Help!!...
A. 1 May 2011: You are still so young and trust me when I say that one day you will be glad that you never dated this early. It might seem strange and you might be tempted to disagree but a real relationship is definitely worth the wait. At this age, you won't ... (read in full...)
Husband very violent and physical, can I ever trust him again?
Q. Been married for nearly 6 years. 4 months after we were married he got violent and did a few thousand dollars worth of damage to the house. I was horrified since we were not even arguing at all. He is mean in front of my girlfriends or when we ...
A. 1 May 2011: If you could trust him, you would not be writing this. You are worried and scared and you have every right to be. At this point, an apology is not enough. What is he doing to ensure that never happens again? I assume that nothing is being done and ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and scared! Am I going to lose him?
Q. ok so me and J are doing perfect in our relationship. but i am only 17 and he is only 16 and jus recently i found out i am pregnant... will our relationship go downhill? will he leave me for another girl again? will he continue to smoke weed even ...
A. 1 May 2011: First of all, do your parents know that you are pregnant? If they don't, I suggest you tell them immediately.
He is only 16 and boys that age seldom find maturity enough to take something this large into heart. Have you discussed this with him... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's addicted to porn! How can I help him?
Q. my boyfriend of 3 years is addicted to porn, and he has asked me to help him quit. how can i help him? are there any hotlines i can have him call, or a meeting he can attend? i told him if there is a class and he doesnt want to attend it alone i ...
A. 1 May 2011: It can't be done immediately. It will take time and there is little doubt he will fail more than once before he finally succeeds but as long as he is trying, there is hope. He made a good choice in telling you and going to you for help. What he ... (read in full...)
He's cheating, I keep forgiving him
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, but I still have feelings that he is cheating. About 6 months ago he left his phone open to some messages from a girl he used to work with saying, "We should meet up" and "Your not just a plan-b ...
A. 1 May 2011: You are mistaken in thinking that deep down he loves you. If his love was deep at all, he wouldn't be so willing to cheat on you, you would have been enough, if he really loved you he would never want to hurt you like this. Just forget about him and ... (read in full...)
He's ONLY hit me twice recently. But should I end this relationship?
Q. My partner used to physicaly and mentaly abuse me. it became worse during my pregnancy , and i miscarried. After this he became better for a while and has only hit me twice in serious arguments. i still can't get over how he treated me and even tho...
A. 1 May 2011: Yes. You cannot continue to lessen the amount of damage he did to you. what's worse is that he struck you while you were pregnant. What future do you see for this relationship?
You might think he is better now but you can never be sure. Abusers ... (read in full...)
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