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Is 19 too young to get engaged?

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Question - (12 February 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *yfuture writes:

My boyfriend and I are almost at a year in our relationship,happier than ever, each day feels like the first. We have been friends going on three years now. We are 19, sophomores in college. I was just wondering, in anyones opinion, is 19 too young to get engaged. We will be 20 in a few months and aren't looking to get married until well after college. We talk so much and it is something that we both really want, but just don't have the money for it right now. Instead, we are doing promise rings for our one year. I just wanted some opinions on engagement though.

Thanks for anything!

:o)

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A female reader, myfuture United States +, writes (12 February 2011):

myfuture is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We have no intention in getting married until at least 3-4 years from now. =]

Thanks for the opinions all!

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A female reader, Trinaa United States +, writes (12 February 2011):

Trinaa agony auntI think if you both feel it is the right thing, and really what you want, why not? Me and my boyfriend are 19, almost 20 also, and have been together for 2 years now, and talk about it also. You can be engaged for as long as you want or need! Good luck :)

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A female reader, avated United States +, writes (12 February 2011):

Honestly, am going to be 21 in a few months and i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years we have a two year old daughter and we are not married and still arent planning on it for a while its alot of money to put into and honsetly theres no time. I think you guys need to wait and see a couple more years just make sure your relationship stays the same, if not you never what lays in the closet trust me. Your smart your in collage you want a great life so make sure the great guy is with you to share. take care hope it works out

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (12 February 2011):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntJust be sure that it is what you both want and make sure you are ready for it. Make sure you are ready for any and all issues. Some relationships suffer and burn because of an issue they could not deal with and it exposed and ripped through even the smallest crack in their relationships. Decade long marriages destroyed in a matter of days because they made a wrong move somewhere and they could not see it until it was too late.

Make sure neither of you regret anything ten years down the line. Will either of you wonder? Will either of you ask "what if"? What if you dated other people? What if you enjoyed more time alone before all of this? People will have doubts, especially those who get married too early. Your boyfriend for example, in a mid-life crisis, he might doubt and he might hurt you or you him, I do not know. You have to make sure that you two are ready for it all. You have been in a relationship for three years, three happy years and you may think that such a long time may be enough but then again, what if it isn't?

I know this is just an engagement and you two are not getting married immediately but I must implore you to be absolutely sure of EVERY step this relationship takes. If you are, then no one can tell you not to get engaged.

I hope that helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011):

Hi there!

Excellent question!

Im happy to hear things are going well for you! Marriage is a huge huge step! Your relationship is still fresh and still in its probably infatuation stage, which is very good. However, down the road things will settle down and perhaps not be as exciting but still be able to have the core of the relationship maintained. That is how 50 year old wedding anniversary couples survive. Given your age, Id say youre very young and with respect, both of you may not mature together due to several variables (life experiences, being raised differently, etc)... which isnt bad, im just saying marrying is a definite risk because of this. I would respectfully caution against it. Best to you both.

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