A
female
age
30-35,
*ostrongtobreak
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. When him and I fight, one of us says "its over" and the other one always ignores it because in the morning it doesn't matter. My son had a doctor's appointment valentines day at 12 pm, we were there till 2pm. then at 2:30 i went to my moms house, fed my son, and the next thing i knew it, he was sleeping, so i let him sleep, them he woke up about 6pm, then fell right back asleep till 8:30, I didn't get home till 9:30 pm. My boyfriend was supposed to come over earlier but my son fell asleep so i waited for him to wake up. I was sooo looking forward to seeing my boyfriend and for my son to see his dad for his first valentines day, so i called him when i got home, and he said he wasn't coming over and got upset with me, yelled at me, and I was so hurt that I told him that it's over. I would think he would call me then next day and he didn't, so I waited and I tried texting him, he wouldn't text back, so I called him three days after that whole incident, and I told him I was sorry, and I was stupid, and I poured my heart out to this kid, he told me he loved me and he would talk to me in the morning. so the next two days we were fine, we were talking sending cute texts back and forth, and then today (friday) he tells me that he needs to tell me the truth about something, and I had a feeling this was coming. He tells me that he let this girl that him and I both know suck his dick..and it happened the night I poured my heart out to him..Then he tells me it's my fault because I broke up with him, and maybe next time I should think about what I say before I say it. I really love this man. he was my best friend, but mental pictures keep running through my head, and its going to be hard to do anything sexual with him because I know of this..but I really wanna be with him..Is he right?Should I forgive him?edvice please?
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female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Granted, you did say that it was over, but sometimes our emotions are more truthful than our actual words... and it seems as though he was fully aware of this fact when he cheated on you.
Respect is the backbone of any relationship, from which trust stems and love grows. Without respect, the relationship is dead... answer me this, can you really, truly still respect this man who not only let you down and smashed your heart into a million pieces, but who also let down his own son?
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 That is not right in the slightest. People argue, that is not something he can use and an excuse and it is most certainly not something you should be blaming yourself for.
You should ask yourself about forgiving him. Knowing that he did this out of pure lust and for no other reason. Knowing that he was merely using that argument as an excuse. What's worse is that he tried to make it seem as though it was YOUR fault! Do you truly need this type of man? He sounds as though he needs to grow up and take responsibility.
Can you trust him anymore? If this relationship meant anything to him, would he have done this so willingly? He is the father of your child and this does make things a little more complex, though, not entirely. Realize that he should have been there for you AND his son. He should have been there to help you.
Why did he get so angry with you on Valentine's day when you asked him where he was? It seems he does things with little reason. He is too immature.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (19 February 2011):
I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. This whole "it's over" thing after arguments is just asking for trouble and very immature. You many not think it means anything, maybe he does. Or maybe he used it as an excuse for getting some action elsewhere. But, it seems to me that if you have a child with this guy (you mentioned he was the dad), but you don't live together, not married and you are only 17 at the oldest, then I am wondering where you are expecting the relationship to go. Why do you want to be with him?
To be honest I think he is right. You dumped him, he went elsewhere. Not great I know, but you had told him it was over, and he took it at face value. Game-playing doesn't work forever. If you really want to be with him then forgive him I guess, at least he has been honest with you.
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