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She has a male best friend AND a boyfriend--how is it possible?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 December 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2010)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

The other day I met a young woman at a party. She was talking about how she was leaving soon, and her friend was picking her up. "He's coming in 15 minutes," she said.

I was sort of interested in her, so I asked, "Oh, is that your boyfriend?"

"No," she replied. "He's my best friend. My boyfriend is working late."

"Oh, uh, ok," I said, somewhat dumbfounded. How, I wondered, could she have a male best friend AND have a boyfriend at the same time? Maybe I am old-fashioned, but I always thought that your boyfriend/lover/husband should also be your best friend.

Am I wrong, or is she strange?

Thanks!

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A female reader, MrsTetzlaff United States +, writes (24 December 2010):

My only best friend I have ever had is male. We've known each other 13 years and have never been intimate. We can tell each other practically anything and not offend the other.

I cannot stand women, some are just too cruel and I have been mistreated by a lot of them.

I am married with a child on the way and I still have my best male friend.

There is nothing wrong with that.

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2010):

BettyBoup agony auntSame. I have loads of guy friends. I am a bit of a tomboy so that could be a reason for this. But yes it is possible to be really close to a guy but not feel romantically for them. Same as a girl best friend but a guy lol. And yes a partner should also be a very best friend. The person whom you confide in and who is your number one and your rock. But it is possible to have other "best friends", people, men or women whom we have known for years and are very close to. Her boyfriend could be a new boyfriend. You just can't make assumptions without fully knowing the girl and her situation really.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2010):

Quite common! I have more male than female friends and a boyfriend. It doesn't cause issues either, my guy friends are like brothers anyway.

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A female reader, rememberthismoment_ United Kingdom +, writes (24 December 2010):

rememberthismoment_ agony auntThis is so common, girls like to have guy best friends because then they can gas about how their boyfriends minds work ect because the guy best friend obviously has all the answers and the knowledge. I have a guy best friend, I think nothing more of him and I love him to bits and pieces and he doesn't interfere with my relationship with my current boyfriend either :)

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (24 December 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntThat is not strange at all. Although you are right to some degree, a lover should also be a best friend but some people do not feel that way and there is nothing wrong with that, it depends on how long she has known her friend and how long she has known her boyfriend. She could have known her best friend for ages and just never had the romantic feelings for him that she does for her actual boyfriend.

I hope that helps.

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