When and how are you supposed to know when the end to a relationship is coming?
Q. I wonder , now my ex girlfriend, I thought every thing was going fantastic, then one day in the park she said it was over, out of the blue. So what am asking, when and how are you supposed to know, when it is coming, I treated her good, her ex beat ...
A. 10 June 2014: I think you missed the queue card; it was over before it began!?
This wasn’t out of the blue as you may think… It’s the devil she knows; the ex beating her, the comfort she obtains from drinking, being accepted in and around a familiar environm... (read in full...)
Should people have to change their personalities for others?
Q. Hello people. I was reading an article about relationships today, and it said that you can't go into a relationship expecting that you won't need to adjust your personality. This seems like a pile of horse turds to me, but I was wondering what y...
A. 10 June 2014: Essentially we are who we are, I believe we are set and yet given different environments circumstances we do adapt or adjust left or right of our comfort zone. Over time we learn a mixture of ‘skills’ from all we have experienced and learnt thus is ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't have much interest in sex
Q. What would you do if your spouse doesn't want to have sex with you? My relationship with my husband has been...different. Very early on in our marriage, in bed, he said to me, "Don't initiate sex. I'll initiate." Then, over the past ten years, ...
A. 29 May 2014: If you were introduced to each other, I’m guessing this was an arranged marriage? Either way, it’s clear that you were not his favoured first choice in looks; he compares you to this day to those other girls. That is what I call giving, insult to ... (read in full...)
Given the circumstances why wont he give me a key?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about two and a half years. He is 35 and I am 27. He has been married before, I have not. I am at his place often, probably about 5 or 6 nights a week. I do not have a key, so if he has to work before me he will ...
A. 27 May 2014: He says; you don’t need a key because you’re not living together… I beg to differ, what do you call 5-6 nights a week? It’s a couple of nights short of moving in together, I say!?
After 2½ years and the last 8+months of him leaving you his key ... (read in full...)
He's gone fishin' and I'm here all alone ..... again!
Q. Hello I've been with my boyfriend of two years. We have a great relationship until summer comes around. Every summer My boyfriend loves to salt water fish and his summers are filled with tropical trips to the islands and lots and lots of fishing. I ...
A. 25 May 2014: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fever_Pitch_(2005_film)
This reminds of the Movie – Fever Pitch with Drew Barrymore (Lindsey a work-alcoholic Executive) and Jimmy Fallon (Ben a diehard Red Sox fan); except your boyfriend is a diehard fishing fanatic ... (read in full...)
My friend ditched me when I was going to the hospital. Why did she get angry?
Q. A friend of mine recently got very angry with me, without me understanding why. I was wondering if you could help me with this. I had become quite sick, and wasn't getting any better. I was talking to my friend that Saturday, and she asked me how...
A. 25 May 2014: The only thing you missed was having a true friend beside you in your hour of need… You thought you had friend, someone you could call and rely on…
At first she offered to come and keep you company, then revoked it as soon as you asked for a li... (read in full...)
He cheated and I can't move past it
Q. It's been over 3 years since my partner cheated on me and I can't move on from it. It sounds silly but I can be having a good time with him and it will crop up in my mind It always comes back to that and I throw it in his face all the time. He did...
A. 23 May 2014: I do believe people can change (up to a point); I believe in Divine intervention (sometimes I call it a kick up the arse) and IF the birth of your child has happened to change him – so be it. Perhaps the birth has instilled some morals and family ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my neighbour I had sex with his wife
Q. The other night I was having beers with a few mates, on my back deck .Being a single male there is always people at my house they come and go as they please pretty relax and social atmosphere My neighbour came over with a drink as her husband ...
A. 22 May 2014: Yeah I think you took the; “Love Thy Neighbour” a bit too literally... She certainly threw more than her leg over the fence that night and gave you a cocktail that produced quite a heavy hangover of guilt… But mate, if that wasn’t enough, you went ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't handle stress.
Q. My boyfriend has never been able to handle stress very well. Anytime he has a bad day or is stressed out I usually get the brunt of it. He never tells me what's bothering him I always have to pry it out of him. It always seems to be family and work ...
A. 22 May 2014: DITTO; my boyfriend can’t handle stress and my mental health has suffered living with these immature tantrums...
Caring Aunty A has just about to come to the end of her patience. Polite calm discussions, couple/individual counselling, switchin... (read in full...)
My ex might want contact with his son
Q. I may be over reacting and thinking of the worst possible case but I was recently told my ex has been speaking to someone about gaining access to our son, and although he never has in the five years since I gave birth, I have also never heard any ...
A. 21 May 2014: Unfortunately Deadbeat Dads are not excluded from having visiting rights to their child… Even if his own family knows he isn't good enough to be a dad. Here you now have to face the reality of your choice to get pregnant to this abusive ... (read in full...)
Will spending time apart really help us?
Q. Okay my boyfriend and I have been dating a year and 3 months and we live together. It feels like our relationship is running into the ground. I'm not sure if its because we spend all our time together or what. Our daily routine is he goes to work at ...
A. 21 May 2014: The language of romance, holding hands, hugs and kisses, sweet little surprises etc. is all bait to catch a fish. Now that he’s caught you (living together) there’s no need to bait up any longer and be as keen as he was!? It’s like you’re taken for ... (read in full...)
I'm so sick and tired of being leeched off of.
Q. Here's the situation. I use to live alone in a two bedroom apartment. One room for me to sleep, use computer, hang out, etc. The other room was my workout room with all my weights, benchs, punching bag, etc. I enjoyed the solitary lifestyle. My own ...
A. 14 May 2014: I’m thinking; when does your lease expire? Could you find another apartment to move into?
This proviso about helping family does not initial family to budge and or leech off of you! Had you not caved in to paying the electricity, your point wo... (read in full...)
What to say to this inquisitive but kind work colleague?
Q. a woman at my workplace similar age to me (35-40) may at times asks me what I think of my colleagues, she has only been working at my workplace a few months and I dont know her well and dont work everyday with her, but I do li...
A. 14 May 2014: I learnt a great deal in my first former employment about people gossiping, backstabbing, kissing arse and talking behind your back etc. So for me you are wise to keep it absolutely simple, congenial and non-committal.
Like you I am not the goss... (read in full...)
I am struggling to see a future with my boyfriend
Q. I love my boyfriend more than anything but am struggling to see a future for us because of how useless he is with money. We earn roughly the same - take home about £1500 a month. I own a small house and manage to pay all my bills on my own and st...
A. 14 May 2014: I’m very acquainted with this attitude; “He says you’d have those bills whether he lived there or not…” That my dear is someone blatantly unrealistic, looking for a FREE RIDE on your sweat and hard earnings etc and a reality check on whom you’re ... (read in full...)
I did some things I'm embarrassed about, he told my adult children, now what do I do?
Q. Hi long story short found photos of my ex with his best friends mrs having sex before he meet me anyway have broken but lived together for awhile when I found the photos of the mrs but also found photos of someone else that he didn't tell while we ...
A. 10 May 2014: Ok so creating a fake profile wasn’t one of your best moves or your finest hour... Yet I’m thinking there’s something else going on here in your mind set to think and do such a thing in the first place. What was the purpose, what did you hope to ... (read in full...)
Should I raise this issue or just accept that my Boyfriend does more than his fair share, financially, for his divorced mother?
Q. Recently I have realised just how much my boyfriend does for his mother and their family but I don't want to point it out to him because I know it will do no good. My boyfriend is three years younger and he still lives at home. His rent covers ...
A. 10 May 2014: I have a slightly different slant on this picture than our Aunts; if she can’t keep up with the bills, what on earth is she doing!? She could look into getting a job (?); make a budget and cut down on nonessentials etc. for a start. I see it as her ... (read in full...)
His ex is still in the way!
Q. Hello, i´ve been dating my BF for almost three years. And his ex is still in the way. I mean, they stayed friends after the break up, but my bf lives in another city than her, so they chat on fb from time to time..I don´t live with my bf yet, he ...
A. 10 May 2014: This Ex-Girlfriend is hanging around waiting for something… who knows what, but it appears she has a hard time letting go or moving on.
Your Boyfriend of 3 years has enabled her to linger on, by way of keeping in contact with her on Facebook... (read in full...)
I am fed up of arguing about her wanting breast enlargement surgery!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advice on a frustrating situation that I am in. About 7 months ago I had a breast enlargement. At 22 I was fed up of feeling self conscious, unhappy and miserable about my body. I never ever developed more than buddin...
A. 9 May 2014: I would rather hear someone had or chose to have a breast enlargement surgery for your reasons than that of your ridiculous girlfriend for (superficial) vanity. What a pitiable excuse; she doesn't want to be seen as the ugly friend, 'I always wanted ... (read in full...)
How do I give her support? My friend has been her Bf for month. Now he wants to spend his Birthday with his guy friends, not her
Q. hi, please please tell me what i should do? A friend of mine have been dating with her bf for 1 month. On this friday it will be her bf's birthday, and her bf said that he doesn't want to go any where with her, but instead wants to go with the...
A. 6 May 2014: Your friend has unrealistic expectations of her bf after a month… She does not own him and he doesn’t want a fuss about his birthday. Does she expect him to love her after a month and drop his friends!? Ridiculous! It’s not love at this stage for ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my negative thoughts?
Q. This is a question about negative thoughts towards myself. It may just be human and I am not dealing with it right , but I have always had negative thoughts towards myself . be that going for a job interview or talking to a girl or anything . ...
A. 6 May 2014: Those negative thoughts of yours are quite debilitating aren’t they, they are so destructive and have a way of eroding your life away before your very eyes!? Soon you’ll be saying to yourself, “why bother getting out of bed”,” what’s the point of ... (read in full...)
Do these mistakes have to follow me forever?
Q. i have been married for three years, and been working for over 10 years. i have made some mistakes in the past, concerning drinking too much, and partying. i have a past am not proud of. in the same period i was drinking alot, i dated quite a number ...
A. 5 May 2014: I have read your previous posts Wendy2012… and I can say without doubt, mistakes will follow you forever when you stay married to this Adulterer! Is this the same Husband who mistreated your Foster boy?
Life has a way of telling us when somethin... (read in full...)
I went out of my way to accommodate them, and they couldn't be bothered to return the favour
Q. This probably may come across as me being picky but I would like some opinions. I threw my husband a birthday party at our home 2 months ago and we invited a few of his colleagues and their families from his work. 1 particular colleague had ad...
A. 5 May 2014: Here’s my scenario, I singlehandedly catered a Xmas party one year… I had my vegetarian girlfriend staying with me a few days from out of State… the day before Xmas I naturally started preparing a few things, and incorporated a few creative culinary ... (read in full...)
I want more from this relationship!
Q. Hi I have been seeing my man for a year now we tell each other we love every day Unfortunately due to our work commitments we only see each other every other weekend and sometimes once in the week My problem is he lives with his 2 daughters who ...
A. 4 May 2014: One Separated Man + living with 2 Moody protective Daughters + Never met any of his family + Never been to his house a year later = CLOSET GIRLFRIEND
You are being kept in the dark like a mushroom and fed BS; been there done that – Call it a day... (read in full...)
Do women think the key to attracting men is to dress like sluts?
Q. Hi this question is not specific to one specific relationship but more on a general level, in my effort to meet someone. I'm curious about why when going out on say a Friday or Saturday night, young (and not so young) women feel the need to dress ...
A. 4 May 2014: I believe your observation is correct; in that SOME women DO THINK the key to attracting men is to dress like sluts. Others have a more stylish approach. Either way it’s unanimous that it’s the outside package that appeals and attracts most men ... (read in full...)
For the grown folks, what advice would you give to your adult child who is about to move out?
Q. Hey everyone, I just graduated from nursing school and I'm 18 years old and I got a job as a licensed practical nurse, it's feels great and I make a decent pay check :) but I'm thinking about moving out of my former guardians home because I'm not ...
A. 1 May 2014: Apart from the excellent advice you’ve been given by our Aunts and Uncles… I’ve read your previous posts and your Guardian is correct; it is harder out there… Yet she prepared you for that in some ways when she started to take advantage of you as a ... (read in full...)
Is porn getting in the way of our relationship?
Q. My bf is 22 and I am 24. He watches porn A LOT. As in, a few times a day. I know that most men look at porn, but is this like normal? Our sex life is ok but I feel it sometimes comes to a point where he prefers watching porn over having sex. (He, ...
A. 30 April 2014: You are not boring by comparison; most women are NOT ok with this style, so you are normal! His style of sex is totally derived and influenced by his excessive viewing… Where else does someone get these typical ideas of coming in a mouth and anal ... (read in full...)
How to tell if she's only dating you for the money?
Q. There are some things worrying me about my girlfriend. At first, things were great and I never really had to spend much. Lately, the more I shell out, the more she expects it and doesn't really say thank you. I take her out all the time, we go ...
A. 29 April 2014: This is how ‘some’ girlfriends subtly manipulate of their partners into buying them things… conveniently not remembering and laying out the guilt as if they won’t have any spending money…
And as much as you may like to do and buy special things f... (read in full...)
Retrograde Jealousy: After 4 years of marriage, out of nowhere, I have begun to play out the STI image and what went on in my wife's life
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, Please let me share my question with you which I have discovered by reading up on articles, is labelled as ‘retrograde jealousy.’ I am 47, (male) and my wife 52. We have been married for just over 4 years since 2010. We...
A. 29 April 2014: There was a small time period between my partner and I that I’d like to forget and not have play over inside my head... We temporarily separated; he ended up living and socialising with some recently bitter separated guys who were dumped by their ... (read in full...)
Can my boyfriend change his controlling, possessive ways?
Q. Is it possible for a person to change there controlling ways? Been together with my boyfriend for 4 years and he is everything I could wish for but the last 6 months he's become very controlling. I have started a new job which is very physical...
A. 28 April 2014: IF he has never been controlling before, then I would safely say it has a lot to do with you looking fabulous from a size 16 to a size 10 and him feeling insecure about himself! He has not grasped the fact that your weight has changed due to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out'!!
Q. I have a question about how a boy friend normally wakes a girl up in the morning. This guy I have been seeing for several months now always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out. It's not very romantic and an awful way to have to be ...
A. 28 April 2014: I believe in training/teaching them from the beginning, not this several months later… At first my fella was not familiar with giving or receiving affection… In my situation, now he knows better than to leave without kissing me before he leaves for ... (read in full...)
His worry over bills is getting in the way of intimacy
Q. OK, so here goes. I am a 32 yr old professional, husband's 29, we've been married for 2 years now. We're middle class, life is good (in terms of friendship, employment, money etc.), we earn enough to live on However, in the last few weeks the sexu...
A. 28 April 2014: I have discovered that when a (responsible) man marries one of his natural instincts is to provide and secure the families financial future... Here he starts to take on more stress and worry of being a provider to his wife and household. They start ... (read in full...)
Which woman do I choose?
Q. Hey. I basically need a bit of help and guidance on which girl I should choose to have my future with. So the 1st girl I am in a relationship with, she is amazing. She is like the good wife, she is traditional and can love and look after her ...
A. 16 April 2014: Regardless of culture; where is it said in your/any culture that you are required to live a lie, have family secrets and start deceiving Girl 1 with Girl 2 until you sort out your future dilemma!?
In our culture you’re simply not brave enough t... (read in full...)
Is it worth keeping in touch with this seemingly disinterested relative?
Q. I have a relative who never sends me e-mail but does usually reply when I send her one. She is about my age and our relationship is okay. I am a little offended that she never sends me any, and was just thinking maybe I'll stop sending her all ...
A. 29 March 2014: There are those of us who are more inclined to keep in contact than others because we enjoy writing, keeping in touch, and sometimes we are the ones better at corresponding due to having more time or news to share… Perhaps you are one of these ... (read in full...)
Over two years together and I still haven't met his family?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this man for two and half years. he was married before and up to now he haven't take me to his house or introduce me to his family. he come to my house, he even spend the night at my house, but now am confused if ...
A. 22 March 2014: From the western cultural perspective it appears that he is hiding something or living a lie. Yet in your culture it is not approved of to live together and is it not custom for him to introduce you to his family only until he is absolutely serious ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has saved hundreds of images of women on his phone! Normal or no?
Q. My bf of 7 months saves photos of random nameless girls in his phone. A few of them are pornographic but most of them are girls in their lingerie. It isn't just a few photos but hundreds of them. Is this normal? ...
A. 22 March 2014: I’m thinking has he ever been inspired to buy you lingerie from this collection of photographs? I can only imagine his purpose for keeping the few pornographic images! Sounds to me like he has either a bizarre hobby or lingerie fetish of some sort, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend made fun of me, says I dress to impress other men and then broke up with me!
Q. hello I am Iin desperate need of help! Last night me and my boyfriend got into an argument about him being very critical of everything I wear! He made jokes and basically called me a hoochie!I told him I didnt like Iit and he shouldnt call me that. ...
A. 19 March 2014: Internet slang definition:
Hoochie = a female of low morals and /or a female who dresses in gaudy tight clothing
OOCH, that’s really not very nice!
Do you usually have a wardrobe malfunction when you go out with your boyfriend? If so, he... (read in full...)
He acts like he doesn't know the first thing about me! Should I give up for good?
Q. Some of you may know some of my relationship history with my past questions. I am still back together with my children's father. But still having issues. Nothing has helped and now the little things are starting to get on my nerves. Is it normal to ...
A. 18 March 2014: For me, it’s not about peanuts and lavender; the fact is you say; “Nothing has helped and now the little things are starting to get on your nerves…” The later I understand as little things can grow into big infectious sores, be blight on any ... (read in full...)
We have a child together but he doesn't make much effort with her
Q. I have a daughter with my boyfriend (he is the only boyfriend I've ever had), and he goes 3 weeks to month with out seeing us sometimes. We see him the most once a week if that and he lives 15 minutes from us, but he says he doesn't like to drive. ...
A. 18 March 2014: 5 years of his irresponsible BS and you’re still wondering; “…will he ever grow up and start to be a good dad and boyfriend?” Is there something stopping you from seeing reality? Evidently he did not want nor except to be a Dad at this stage!?
... (read in full...)
My husband throws temper tantrums every day!
Q. The problem I have is that my husband regularly has pointless, angry outbursts and I'm the only one around to hear them. In front of other people he's as quiet as a lamb. We love each other. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he loves me e...
A. 15 March 2014: I hear you completely! We love each other… He has pointless, angry outbursts… In front of other people he's as quiet as a lamb... The smallest things will make him angry and then he will shout… I have tried telling him… I try to stay level headed
... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 13 March 2014: It’s time for your wife to get a job to pay for her own daughter this time! Any wife who shows disrespect towards her husband as you describe only teaches her children to disrespect the authority head of the household… later that authority figure ... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating says he's not ready for a relationship
Q. I've been dating this man for over a month and I must say, it has been great. We got on really well and there is chemistry. But the problem is, last year he got out of a long term relationship and told me he's not ready to date (despite him tel...
A. 12 March 2014: It appears the timing is off for both of you… So you really should let it be, he’s definitely forewarned you… Because when a bloke says, he’s not ready to date, doesn’t want to hurt you and in the same breathe wants to take it slowly; “he is ... (read in full...)
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