He never has money for things we do together
Q. Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months. I'm shy and have not dated a lot. We have a lot of issues. He hardly ever has any money due to debt following divorce, so he doesn't often take me out or buy flowers or gifts, but goes drinking. ...
A. 5 December 2013: No man is worth the wait and wasting your money and precious time over when he’s got money for drink and not for you – yours dreams, goals and a future together as a couple should be etc.!?
Being shy is only one part of you, while the other si... (read in full...)
Last month Court found me "not guilty' and her accustions as "false". But this girl has ruined my life. How do I move on?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need any advice I can get. I was in a very volatile, messy relationship. At first I thought this girl was amazing. She was beautiful, independent, all of the above. After a few months things didn't appear to be as what they should ...
A. 5 December 2013: One can only imagine what horrendous crime took place and yet you were CLEARED. That suggests she was a false witness, wasted valuable Police and Court time, and that her accusations were not found to be correct or truthful. Is that not a victory?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend to be with me and now I am having a hard time trusting him!
Q. Hello. How do you learn to trust someone? My boyfriend cheated on a girlfriend to be with me. He left her for me. Now we are a couple. We have been for about 6 months. He claims how much he cares about me and treats me well over all. Spea...
A. 4 December 2013: Having had someone cheat on you; now you know what it feels like to be that other woman, always wondering, always insecure what if and when will he do the same to you? :(
It’s not surprising that the human brain cannot contend with betrayal... (read in full...)
How do you keep a man happy?
Q. This may be a stupid question but how do you keep a man happy? What makes a relationship work and last? I've been with my bf for 7 months and I really care about him and don't want to lose him, I want to continue to make him happy and make o...
A. 4 December 2013: I can only tell you what keeps MY MAN happy, as I asked him your question…
1. He likes that I’m an intelligent woman (i.e. what first attracted him to me) 2. Then it’s our SEX-life! 3. I don’t hold a grudge after we (seriously) argue 4. He appre... (read in full...)
The safe option vs. the one you really want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if any girl has had this situation before? My female best friend I've known for a long, long time. We talk a lot, especially relationships. She asks my opinions on blokes she dates and vice versa. She met a guy two years ago ...
A. 4 December 2013: Metaphorically speaking for me, when those lustful exciting butterflies finally left my stomach, A MOTH would appear in its place… It was here that I knew no matter the age or lack of physical attraction I had for him at first, that he would be the ... (read in full...)
Husband and I agreed to break off our affairs but now his mistress is pregnant!
Q. I am 41 and I have been married for 6 1/2 yrs..been with my husband for 11yrs total. We have no children together..both our children are all adults. I found he was cheating on me in April so I confronted him. He lied to me that he wouldn't do it ...
A. 3 December 2013: I don’t think you’ll get such sympathy here for having a hand in paying for the termination of an innocent…
Even Jerry Hall knew when to call it quits and Divorced Mick Jagger after a child was produced from one of Mick Jagger’s many affairs!... (read in full...)
Diagnosed with bipolar disorder. How do I break the news to my husband?
Q. I've known I had some form of depression since high school, but it wasn't that bad, so I didn't seek treatment. I discussed it with my husband before we got married, although he comes from a background where mental illnesses are sort of brushed ...
A. 30 November 2013: How to tell your Husband…
No doubt your husband likes to watch Movies, listen to music and has a favourite? Perhaps you could bring it up by putting on a DVD/CD with one of those who have Bipolar and casually say; “guess what I have in common with... (read in full...)
She ignores me which makes me do stupid things, help!
Q. please help,I have been seeing my girlfriend for only of months.we have wonderful weekends together,but when she is at her house,she likes to use Facebook.I don`t use it at all.so when i try to talk to her she either ignores me or takes a long time ...
A. 29 November 2013: Leave her to cool down for a bit, you’ve acted like a love sick puppy… Nice to know that love can still make some of us do stupid things at [51-59], but don’t come across too needy when it’s only been ( ? ) months…
It’s not only stupid as you say,... (read in full...)
I'm in limbo waiting for him. How long should I wait?
Q. I met a really lovely guy of 48 who is has been separated for three years. He says he couldn't afford to buy his ex out as he has a business and house. When we met 8 months ago he reassured me it was at the final stages and amicable. I have waited ...
A. 28 November 2013: Firstly make sure you don’t sign into any business deal with him whilst he’s still legally married as you’ll be stepping into a legal property nightmare if you were to do this or perhaps live with him and rent out your own place. Please refer to UK ... (read in full...)
What is your partner like when angry?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year and a half now and I'm curious about everyones experience with how your partner or ex partners reacted when angry. for whatever reason. deserved or not. Here are a few situations I often find myself in. ...
A. 28 November 2013: My days of arguing are all but over. Although I was never one to give the silent treatment, punish the person and or play games. I heard others experiencing these loathsome games with their partner and it just baffled me. Once my venom was spit, my ... (read in full...)
Problems with neighbour - how would you handle this?
Q. Hello. I would like to know how you would handle this situation. I live above a young male who is intolerant of his neighbours making any sounds. Whenever we do make sounds, he bangs the walls. I get the most of it though, since I live right above...
A. 27 November 2013: Apparently this young male acts like he’s lived there longer than you; in that he thinks he owns the place and can intimidate others by his behaviour to get what he wants – control of his environment!?
Yes he is anti-social and does have his own ... (read in full...)
How can I get someone to return my things without making a scene?
Q. I lent a friend (Nick) a DVD box set about 18 months ago. I then broke up with my boyfriend (it was awful) and I needed to go down the no contact route. This meant that I didn't see Nick nearly as much anymore because I was no longer going to the ...
A. 26 November 2013: Sometimes these simple requests like asking for your property back (18 months later) do become a test in how we deal with people who are avoiding us?
It’s an awkward feeling for some of us to keep asking; having to confront the situation when a p... (read in full...)
How do I move on after a divorce which husband cheated and got married so quickly?
Q. I had been married 17 years when my (now ex) husband notified me of his intention to file for divorce through a solicitors email while I was overseas for a week. We had been having a bad time and I had tolerated emotional and some physical abuse ...
A. 22 November 2013: Although your abuser appears to have moved on, you’re stuck in the past, some 18 months later by playing this over like a cracked record? It’s like being continuously tormented by him and those past demons. In reality you’re keeping yourself a ... (read in full...)
What advice would you give to your 20 year old self
Q. What advice would you give to your 20 year old self? Financial, relationship and just general life information you wish you had known. My biggest fear is wasting my life, I think about this daily. I constantly feel like I should be doing/...
A. 20 November 2013: What an intelligent question for a 20 year old :)
Luckily I kept a diary since I was 16 so I can personally tell you what was important to me then as to what really is important now. Or some of the differences your generation will face as to mine... (read in full...)
Married 41 years. Any tips to spice up our sex lives please?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 41 years, i'm 65 and she's 64. We used to have a great sex life but we haven't had sex for a couple of years now and it can get frustrating. Has anyone got any tips to spice up our sex lives? Thanks...
A. 18 November 2013: Gees it’s been so long, I don’t know who gets tied up first!?
Seriously though – Break the monotony and get out of the house with those same old four walls!
Check out some B&B out in the countryside for a bit of romance and relaxation
Don’t go ... (read in full...)
My online boyfriend just used me for money!
Q. I meet my bf online 4 months back. Initially he was very sweet. And always told me he loves me very much. We never meet face to face. He is financially a broke. I helped him pay half of his house rent once. He also didn't have money to eat food I a...
A. 30 October 2013: LOVE is like a pancake (Chapati); it gets flipped around so easily at your age…
Had you really thought you found your Prince in 4 months without seeing him? That is truly naïve :(
He prays for girls like you to scam and pretend sweetnes... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm being disrespected, used, and attacked by my boyfriend
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 13 months now, and I have never loved someone so much before. I recently started my first year of college, and my first job. My motivation was him, it was for our future. He on the other hand wont ...
A. 30 October 2013: When a (good) guy is not working they do feel kinda depressed and can become agitated by the lack of prospects… However a smart man always looks to improve himself in the meanwhile and is ready when an opportunity arises. But somehow through this ... (read in full...)
What can I do about this controlling guy?
Q. i been with my significant other for 6 years and hes always been the jealous type, always in my business, wanting to know my facebook password, my email password my phone code to unlock my phone etc, doesnt want me to have friends and i have lost ...
A. 27 October 2013: If you’re in New York and he’s presently in Florida I can’t see how he could possibly control you at that distance unless you allow it? If you’re ALWAYS on the phone; it’s because you answer it!
The fact that you both don’t agree on where to... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks I cheated and I never have. How do I convince him?
Q. My boyfriend of four years thinks that I have betrayed him with infidelity (cheated on him), I did not commit such a act, I'm innocent but he will not listen to the truth, he also wont express his reasons why he is so sure about his accusations. ...
A. 27 October 2013: No-one in their right mind accuses their partner of infidelity without expressing a reason why! Something’s not right here and perhaps he’s looking for a way-out by way of starting ‘a gap’ in your relationship?
He’s either got something to confe... (read in full...)
My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?
Q. I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...
A. 25 October 2013: Sadly abandoned but not orphaned and placed in the care of your Grandma between; 8-18. Those are the years that shaped you into the courageous person you are now?
Had you been raised by one of your primary parents, how do you think you would ha... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the silent treatment?
Q. How should I deal with a known narcissists "silent treatment"? He is my boyfriend. This is the second time he has done this in a six month period. He cursed at me about two weeks ago and I couldn't take the abuse anymore and let him know how I ...
A. 25 October 2013: How to deal with the Narcissist ‘Silent Treatment’
1. Place a card down on his table with the phone number of a psychologist or psychiatrist
2. Place a note with your forwarding address on the table.
3. When he insults you; you LAUGH at him and t... (read in full...)
Is this something that can be salvaged or should I throw in the towel now and save myself time and heartache?
Q. I'm really unsure if me and my boyfriend have a future together. After nearly a year together I discovered texts on my boyfriends phone begging his ex to get back with him from around the time we got together. I snooped on his phone, don't ask...
A. 22 October 2013: Back in the beginning, he wanted to spare his Ex-girlfriends feelings by telling her he didn’t love you!? (That’s not very charming of him?) Sure enough you haven’t allowed him to forget it, so why would either of you want to live together too be ... (read in full...)
Do cheaters ever change?
Q. I've just met a Man and during a conversation we were having he explained that he had been in 2 marriages and 1 8 year defacto relationship. He continued to say he had been unfaithful with 2 women, 1, his first wife and 2 a short term ...
A. 17 October 2013: If his behaviour was a label on the outside of a package and it read, CHEATER! I’m sure most of us would avoid buying into this product? Here he has forewarned you and indicated by his past record what could and can happen if you decide to digest ... (read in full...)
Can you sue someone for giving you an STD?
Q. Can you sue someone for giving you an STD? My ex boyfriend has contacted me, to say that he recently ejaculated blood and that if he has an STD he will be suing me. I haven't had a check-up for a few months, but last time I went to the doctors ...
A. 13 October 2013: So far he’s stated; ‘IF’ he has an STD he will be suing you… (Good luck with that notion in Australia!) Although he could have an infection of another sort which has nothing to do with you, yet in spit of that he implies that you are the STD ... (read in full...)
Do Couples Have to sleep in the same bed?
Q. My boyfriend always complains about the dogs waking him up in the bed (to late to untrain them now) and I always complain about my boyfriend snoring. The real question is there any true importance to a couple sleeping in the same bed or even in t...
A. 7 October 2013: There’s a health issue here that should be considered more important than resolving it by permanently sleeping apart!?
Does your boyfriend have any excess weight, tiredness or drinking that’s causing his snoring and how’s the cleanliness of the a... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married stepbrother and now feel absolutely sick!
Q. I’m incredibly confused and ashamed of what I did the other night. When I was 10 my mother got remarried and along with her new marriage came my stepbrother who is 2 years older than I am. Despite the fact that I wasn’t too happy about the whole ...
A. 5 October 2013: OP; I always formally thought that cheating had something to do with a person having the ‘intention’ to act dishonestly – to do wrong and too continue to do wrong, time after time. Since we know what cheating refers to today, it’s generally ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's dad has terminal cancer and we're having trouble. Do I talk to him about things?
Q. I was wanting to have a serious relationship chat with my bf of 6 yrs, about whether he actually wanted to be with me because he never seems that happy and thus I am never that happy. However, we've just found out his dad has lung cancer which is ...
A. 25 September 2013: It’s unfortunate that your timing for ‘a serious chat’ couldn’t have been done earlier if things have been that unhappy for you both… Presently this would impose another weight on his shoulders to contend with when he’s already dealing with the ... (read in full...)
How can I marry him when his psycho mother is part of the package?
Q. I've been with my fiancé for 3 years and we have a baby daughter together the only thing I can't stand is his mother. Mother in law watched the birth of my daughter against my wishes and tries to take over with my daughter (buys milk and nappies) ...
A. 21 September 2013: So why is it you’re not buying the milk and nappies, cuddling the baby and making breakfast etc? Is it because you still think having a baby and a fiancé going out to work with an empty stomach should entitle you to no criticism?
What is it that ... (read in full...)
Am I selfish because I want to move closer to my mother and take my son?
Q. I am in major conflict here and feeling very guilty because I'm not sure what to do. I have an ailing mother that lives in another state. I have several siblings and relatives that are with her, and caring for her. However, I want to be with my ...
A. 16 September 2013: It appears you have an amicable divorce with your ex when it comes to your son’s well-being and up-bringing… So I wouldn’t like to disrupt this harmonious flow whilst your Mother is ailing as further pressure of adult decisions will only impose a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend discusses our intimate details with his best friend. Should I not let this worry me so much?
Q. Hey, my bf likes to tell his best friend (male) all the intimate details of our relationship and I need advice on how to not let this worry me. I found out from the GF of his bestfriend who is told all about what my bf says. It kinda hurts as it's ...
A. 15 September 2013: It appears that your boyfriend has no censorship about intimate matters and doesn’t know how this affects you with the trust you’re supposed to have!?
Simply tell him straight, that word got around from all his gossiping and slagging about yo... (read in full...)
I love him so much but the possibility of never marrying is devastating to me.
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 3 years and we have a 10 week old daughter together. Since I gave birth to my daughter I have been yearning to engaged/married we have a generally brilliant relationship and I love him dearly. The ...
A. 13 September 2013: This is where the Cart (Mother and baby) is placed before the Horse (Partner). The child came first before the desirous marriage, so you’re pushing this issue uphill when it should be pulling you to the top!?
So how do we fix this carriage... (read in full...)
Am I being shallow? Or is my boyfriend just cheap?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and in that time we have been in love. However.. something that I tried not to let bother me in the beginning has recently really started to get on my nerves. My boyfriend, I feel, is a huge cheaps...
A. 13 September 2013: This will certainly drive you nuts if you decide to stay with him… Unfortunately these people are programmed to be stingy and last minute thinkers. Some are down right spongers and soak up all your savings if you’re not careful.
Having experien... (read in full...)
How can you just not care if your partner had orgazm or not
Q. I am in my early thirties, met a guy in his late 30s. Went on a date several times and we had sex. It was so lousy that I am not sure that i want to see him again. I would understand if it was someone young and inexperienced, but he was married, now ...
A. 11 September 2013: You’d think they’d know by now (given his age), but that’s not always the case… The main issue here is he failed to give you an orgasm and that’s what it boils down to. Even if he was nervous, inexperienced or used to a certain pattern of ... (read in full...)
Her dependency on me is holding me back and ruining our love.
Q. Fell in love with a woman who has a child. We dated for a years and while dating her, she was still somewhat dependent on the ex because of the child. She gets offered a job opportunity in another state and due to the state of her financial ...
A. 11 September 2013: Perhaps you are being too concerned for her life, because life obviously existed before you came along and it will continue to be thus…
Given you are caring by nature you have enhanced her life by making her struggles lighter with your support.... (read in full...)
When I mention the "L" word he clams up on me!
Q. I am struggling to understand a man i am seeing on a regular basis,we have been together for years,yet not once has he told me he loves me yet he know's i love him very much. What i don't understand is he is always telling me i am his darling ...
A. 3 September 2013: More importantly; I think you FEEL loved!? As most of your senses are aroused and contented except for your hearing the ‘L’ word? Here he gives you the cream without the cherry on top, by using all the other words he’s comfortable with.
But i... (read in full...)
Husband works from home and I hate it!
Q. Hi, Does anyone have a husband that works from home? Mine started recently and I hate it. He makes me feel like the villain but I adore him. I just don't want to spend every second together. He goes to a room as his office but there is still a ...
A. 28 August 2013: There’ll be a time of adjusting for both of you if this has happened recently… In my present situation my man is out injured from work, so there’ll be a period of time before he’s 100% well. Meanwhile he’s office is in the lounge room watching the ... (read in full...)
My roommate says that I smell but I don't know whether she is being mean or honest
Q. My roommate and I hate each other and she says I have an odor problem when I’m doing what I know is right hygiene-wise. I’m at my wits end. We’re in the military. We live in a 3-man room. She says that “my smell” infects the entire room. I h...
A. 22 August 2013: By disclosure, you previously did have an odour problem and now you’ve managed to eliminate all possibilities of that being you, but you still have a poor sense of smell from what you say… Yet the problem now appears to be with your (bitchy) ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend forgot my birthday and I'm furious
Q. My boyfriend of eight months forgot my birthday. First of all he knew my birthday was coming up and I had to ask him if we would have plans. He needed time to think about it and suggested that I might have plans with my friends. So I followed up ...
A. 22 August 2013: Luckily a few days before your birthday he asked if the both of you could do something on the week-end… Two days later, when he’s actually talking to you, he doesn’t come out with saying or wishing you Happy Birthday… That’s strange!?
From ... (read in full...)
G/f broke up with me and wants to be friends. I'm not sure if this is a good idea?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a few months now and I can safely say I really do love her and she told me everytime we were together that she loved me too. However ever since she started this new job she's been a bit depressed. She ...
A. 18 August 2013: Perhaps you’re able to pin point the time of depression with her with starting this new job… However I believe there must be other issues that she’s not sure about to go backwards instead of forwards with you.
Since it’s only been a few months o... (read in full...)
My daughter was cheating on her fiance with her best friend's father. How do I contain this situation?
Q. My 27 yr old daughter has recently admitted to me she's been cheating on her fiance with her best friend's dad, and she's thinking about ditching her fiance and marrying her best friend's dad. She admitted she was discreet about the affair. I am...
A. 18 August 2013: I would contain this situation by keeping it within your family four walls for now… You’ve said enough already to her fiancé. Exposing this to your daughter’s best friend and or to others would potentially open up a can of worms like you say, and be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends a lot of time chatting online, including to a younger girl. He hasn't changed his relationship status for many of his accounts.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since 6 months. Hes a computer guy and spends all day on his computer at work. I'm concerned how much time he spends not working, but chatting or doing something else. He has so many accounts on so many ...
A. 16 August 2013: It maybe normal for your generation to have many different portals and talk to people on the other side of the world and call them friends when in fact there just strangers rabbiting on (chatting)… What he gets from these conversations will be found ... (read in full...)
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