A
female
age
26-29,
*aybeitsover
writes:My husband doesn't tell me I'm beautiful anymore. He yells at me. Demands things. And the hugest thing is he looks at me with disgust. The only person that matters the most to me. Seems to be overwhelmed with disgust whenever he sees me. I don't do anything to him. I even tried explaining how it makes me feel (with high hopes that's it's not intentional) and he gets angry and makes me feel even worse. I lost a lot of weight. And I get hit on a lot and just randomly told by many people how beautiful I am. I even find myself to be stellar a 8. But I don't understand why he looks at me this way. And it hurts a lot because we been married for only 4 months. And honestly I don't know how to take this. Like it suck and it hurts to point where I'm crying as I write this. I guess my question is... How do I get around this? Why does he look at me like this? How can O tell him in a way that he would listen and understand? How do I stop the tears cause it hurts so bad? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (7 August 2017):
 Sadly the Honeymoon is over, like Elvis has left the building. Reality has set in on who you both married. No doubt the signs where there before you walked down the aisle? Or did this toxic bully nature of his suddenly appear out of the blue?
Thing is he’s now showing you who’s in charge and acting like a Brut! It does not accomplish anything long-term, except it turns you into a mouse. So if you decide to stay, let him get away with treating you like this, then there’ll be more to come. There is no happily ever after in this situation for you and children :(
Here you’ll have to be firm, grow a back bone and learn to stand up for yourself, speak clearly in what it is you want from him as your husband. If you whine, talk too much and cry to him, that’ll mean nothing to him... as these men switch off from tears and men are prone to deafness when we over talk.
Nonetheless, there is something bugging him about you which you don't mention to us. Yet there’s a civil way for him to approach and discuss issues with his new wife, period!
If he continues to be jealous; ask if he'd like you to dress Amish to appease his insecurities of you receiving compliments. Just keep in mind if you dress to draw attention to yourself that might put any husband off and cause him to act like a jerk?
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (6 August 2017):
This doesn't sound like he'll turn around and make things right. His actions are very loudly saying that he doesn't want to be married and - for whatever reason, we can't really tell from what little you've told us - resents you. But we do know that he is not a keeper! And his anger may turn to physically harming you.
Do you have some wise relatives or friends who could shed some light on his behavior? Those people may be your best bet for giving you an understanding of what's going on with him.
Start looking into the mechanics of an annulment or divorce. If you can't afford an attorney, search the internet for information. Be sure to add your state to the search term....divorce law is not the same in every state. Certainly don't stick around if this appears to be headed for a physical confrontation. And don't have any children with this bonehead! Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2017): You're awfully young to be married. If he's around the same age, he now regrets that he got himself into this so soon in his life. Seems he has discovered something he didn't realize before.
Do you have a child, or one on the way?
You seem pretty aware of your looks, and even know how you're rated on a scale? Wow! That's odd. How and why are so many men hitting on you? You didn't notice he's the jealous-type? Perhaps not, you're sort of young and inexperienced; and may not pickup on such things.
I think he might be a little put-off by your reaction to the praise and attention, now that you're his wife. As Denizen says, this is all new to both of you, and I can tell you're not ready for such a big life-decision. If he's too young, he doesn't know how to handle the fact marriage doesn't make you invisible to the eyes of other men. If you're too young, you still accept praise and admiration for your looks; because you're used to it and flattered by it.
If you married someone much older, he feels you're his property; and no one has a right to gaze upon you. Maybe he's blaming you for his own insecurities.
Generally, it's what usually happens between two people too young for marriage; and not mature enough to handle the decision they've made.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 August 2017):
 I agree with Denizen,
I think you NEED to take a stand here. And I think you need to get out of there. This isn't good for you. And it doesn't seem like it's good for him either.
So I would bring up the "let's get an annulment/divorce" and go on our separate ways as you seem utterly unhappy about being with me.
It sounds like he is abusive. IS that REALLY what you want as a partner? An abusive man? Would you bring kids into this mess? This is NOT how a healthy marriage is. If a man yells at you, looks at you with disgust and make demands constantly then it's a TOXIC situation and you need to get out.
Talk to your family and ask for help with a place to stay till you get back on your feet, file for divorce and move on with your life.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (6 August 2017):
 The reality of marriage has hit him. He thought he wanted it, or maybe he felt pressured into it, but now it looks a long way to the finishing line and he hates it.
I think the next time he is unpleasant to you just ask him if he would like it to be over. You can't live the rest of your life in a lie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2017): See a solicitor and file for a divorce. This is not a normal marriage at all.
You will get good help and soon enough find a decent man!
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