A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his daughter. She's just wild. Last week, she came upstairs and cut my hair whilst I was sleeping. I was absolutely notified to wake up and find 80% of my beautiful red hair in chunks on my pillow. My husband was downstairs at the time and despite us having set a rule where he entertains her downstairs, he couldn't be bothered to enforce it and just let her roam free. I'm not blaming him for what she did but when I was upset about it he still refused to discipline her. She's cut so much of my hair off, my hairdresser has had to give me a buzz cut as it was the only to even it up. I'm distraught. My husband looked me in the eye and said he finds me repulsive. I really want to walk away. Would I be doing the right thing? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 September 2017):
 Your husband sounds like a dickhead to be quite honest.
I'd run from this one and wouldn't look back. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, seems like his daughter is taking after him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2017): Darling u need to get out of this situation sooner rather than later. You husband has failed you and most of all he has failed his daughter. This isn't the child's fault (although Chucky comes to mind) but if he doesn't set the boundary's then how is she going to learn. For the man who loves you to call you repulsive at this horrendous time for you would have been the icing on the cake for me. Rock your new style sweetheart and look at it as a new beginning for yourself. Good luck. And btw many thanks for the wonderful job you do
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (18 September 2017):
 How does it feel, sleeping with one eye open? Scissors today, perhaps a knife in your gut tomorrow which will see you in the Trauma Unit you work at as a patient? All because Daddy dearest is a repulsive specimen of a so called parent and perhaps you don't see the (potential) gravity of this situation!?
Interestingly how is little Miss Psycho with small animals and children her own age? Is she the withdrawn type or the bully etc?
Certainly you need to put a lock on the door for starters; before red hair is replaced by your red blood on your pillow!?
I'd think very seriously about walking.
Take Care - CAA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2017): You have a serious problem here with both of them.
I would have her for assault.
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A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (16 September 2017):
There is so much good advice shared here already but thought I'd add my 2 pence worth. This whole situation is concerning. Not only is your stepdaughter behaving like a psycho but her dad is standing by and doing nothing! Shame on them both!!!
You have to leave adap before this gets worse. No one deserves this. This is abuse pure and simple.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 September 2017):
 Oh!! And SORRY!! I should have my act together here and think of these things all at once, but you said something in your post about his entertaining his daughter?? Does he have full custody? Where is this girl's mother?? If she is a youngster, you might have a civil case against the custodial parent if it's not your husband. If someone had a dog who bit you or destroyed your lawn, you could sue for damages.
Losing your hair is damages to your person.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 September 2017):
How old is she?? I guess before I get carried away with getting her arrested, the thought occurred to me that she could be 2 years old??? In that case, if she's young like that, you instead take that into consideration in the divorce. I saw your age and my first thought was that she was close to adolescence. Most really young girls don't have the dexterity and quiet skills to pull off slicing someone's hair that much without waking up the person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): I've just got to comment on this even though you've already received so much excellent advice.
Please leave him immediately as soon as you have all of your important personal belongings together.
I just can't put into words how abhorrent this sequence of events is;
Firstly his daughter assaults you in a frightening and demeaning manner.
Then he offers you no sympathy. Even now after she has done THIS to you, he won't even discipline her. It would be too little too late, but at least it would show some appreciation of the gravity of what she has done to you. what he has enabled her to do to you. Instead he has done nothing, supported you with nothing.
Finally, and worst of all, after an emotionally devastating attack on you, for which he partially bares responsibility, he actually has the gaul to look you in the eye and tell you that he finds you repulsive?!
It is quite clear that you are nothing of the sort. HE is repulsive in his behaviour to treat you like this. There can be no love when he treats you like this. Please please leave him. You deserve so much better.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (15 September 2017):
 Sweetheart, what are you getting out of this relationship apart from stress, distress, disrespect and now physical assault (because that is what this girl/young woman did to you).
Your husband tells you he finds you repulsive. Why are you still with him?
Leave him and his daughter to their own devices and get out. TODAY. If he has allowed her to do this to you and not said anything, what will she do next time? It doesn't bear thinking about.
PLEASE get out and take yourself somewhere safe, even if it is just on a friend's settee for a few days until you find somewhere to stay. You are in danger.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 September 2017):
 I honestly am not sure why you would still be with him? If my husband called me repulsive I would be out the door. You should never allow anyone to call you something like that. I would love to know what age his daughter is? He is not going to start being a proper dad now so you need to decide if you want this as a life or else leave and run for the hills and don't look back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): My I go even further. You attend to people injured and sick everyday. You also handle trauma-patients.
As a healthcare professional, lives are placed in your hands.
You have to be mentally-prepared and alert. You make life-threatening decisions and handle medications. I would not want to place my life in the hands of someone who has been personally-traumatized and unable to perform his or her duties due to PTSD. The people you work with see what has happened and they know you didn't voluntarily shave your head. If you did, they have to wonder what the hell is wrong with you?
Now, maybe that will give you more courage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2017): File charges for assault at once. Keep the hair as evidence and have this young woman disciplined. The next time she may attempt something much worse.
Removing yourself from that environment would be the most correct move you ever made!!!
You don't have to tolerate being maliciously assaulted by a belligerent teenager who was more or less goaded and backed-up by her father. You are in an abusive household.
So what are you going to do about it?!!
Advice is very difficult to offer people in your situation; because it isn't easy to follow-through on very serious suggestions. You were assaulted! That's hard for you to absorb; but that is the case. You must take action or she will run you out of your own home, or attack you.
Any tool, inanimate object, or appliance used in the commission of an assault is considered a weapon my dear!
She used scissors to remove your hair without your permission, and as you slept! In this case they could be considered a deadly weapon. Got it?
Easy remedy about the husband. Since you disgust him; divorce him. Now read all our advice and gather your courage. Go find yourself a good attorney and find out what your rights are; and what the law suggests you do.
You can be intimidated and ignore the advice given to you. Things will only escalate to a level you'll wish you had.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 September 2017):
BTW -- the charge is "Assault with a deadly Weapon".
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 September 2017):
I'll say this -
Had it happened to me, I would have secretly taken fresh pictures of my destroyed hair and recorded the confrontation with her.
Then I would have gone to my husband and told him to deal with his daughter. Had he even so much as HESITATED, my next move would have been to call the police and file assault charges.
You can still file those charges, as sneaking into a room with a weapon and cutting off parts of someone's body, even hair, is a crime. If your husband can't do his job, the police will.
Then I'd file for divorce and leave them. It could have been the scissors to your throat while you slept. I hope you realize the gravity of this. You're in danger staying there.
You gave your husband his one chance to deal with this within the family, and he has failed you. It's time to start filing those police charges, because you're going to need them if and when divorce is filed.
Your hair WILL grow back, but if you do NOT do this, she'll take it to the next level, and you could lose something that won't grow back next time, like an eye. It's for her own good. Your UK jail/juvenile system is better than ours because it focuses more on rehabilitation.
You need to act on this right now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 September 2017):
 How old is she?
How long did you date before getting married and how was your relationship with her before marriage?
How is her relationship with her mother?
Is she getting any kind of counseling?
This is not "normal" kid" behavior. For any age really. To have stood over you while you slept with a pair of scissors? That is scary. It's not just a case of "she is "wild". this is a kid who doesn't know or care about consequences and who is showing her" dominance" over you by cutting your hair.
Personally, I would end this and walk away if he is NOT willing to set boundaries for her and (if needed) make sure she gets some therapy/counseling.
I'd be packing my stuff and be out the door. The combination of her behavior (my guess is that YOU have no say in setting rules, limit and boundaries for her) and HIS words would make me say OK this is not working and is not going to work.
While it IS just hair... HIS behavior is by far more disgusting than hers. HE is an adult. Couldn't be bothered to watch his child? What if she had fallen down the stairs with those scissors? Or cut more than you hair? and calling you repulsive after a buzz cut?! What in the World is wrong with him?
PACK up and get out. Make sure you have ALL your important documents, all the little things you care about and GET out. Take HIS name of your shared bank account or open a new bank account and have you pay to go there ASAP. Take your name of ANY and ALL utility bills etc. Cancel any cards where he has access to YOUR income.
And get out... What's next? Setting fire to your wardrobe? the house?
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 September 2017):
 If he called you repulsive and meant it then I would definitely leave. What is the point of staying? Get your own place to live TODAY!
You could perform a quid pro pro on the brat. but what would be the point? You would perhaps start an escalating dispute between the two of you, but you might feel a glow of satisfaction.
I have read that putting a chicken bullion cube in the shower head before they use it can be amusing. Also filling her hair drier with talcum powder has hilarious consequences particularly if you upload it to FB. But that would be mean wouldn't it, and you are better than that?
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A
female
reader, suzzzque269 +, writes (15 September 2017):
 i dont think youd be in the wrong!!! your husband most likely wont start disciplining her even i you left
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