The man I'm dating says he's not ready for a relationship
Q. I've been dating this man for over a month and I must say, it has been great. We got on really well and there is chemistry. But the problem is, last year he got out of a long term relationship and told me he's not ready to date (despite him tel...
A. 12 March 2014: It appears the timing is off for both of you… So you really should let it be, he’s definitely forewarned you… Because when a bloke says, he’s not ready to date, doesn’t want to hurt you and in the same breathe wants to take it slowly; “he is ... (read in full...)
He wants me to sell my home and buy a bigger house but his drinking concerns me
Q. Hello there - Am after some advice. I am 40 years old and am living with my partner and our 6 month old baby. To cut things short my partner has always struggled with alcohol but is a loving partner and a wonderful Dad and never drinks at ...
A. 12 March 2014: I believe this is the business side of any relationship that you must consider without emotional sentiment.
I would be asking myself if he weren’t my partner (or husband to be); would I enter into a business arrangement with someone like him? Be ... (read in full...)
Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 11 March 2014: Your first need as a Student is to live somewhere economical and have an environment conducive to your needs; safe, cheap, clean, tidy and quiet I would think.
First up you are meant to discuss the rent, then establish basic rules of the househol... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends visit massage parlors for happy endings! Should I worry he is doing the same?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend is not asking for any physical pleasure from me lately and i found out from his friends that they are paying a visit to massage parlors for a quick and fun release from time to time in other words happy endings. I read many ...
A. 10 March 2014: Why men visit these places is a curious question, but the curious thing is you say you have a gut instinct and that you’re definitely convinced your boyfriend is receiving pleasure (happy endings) when he visits these massage parlours with his ... (read in full...)
He dropped the bombshell that he didn't know when and IF he wanted kids at all!
Q. Hi. I'm in a tricky situation and I don't know weather to go with my heart or my head. I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 years , we also live together which makes things harder. My boyfriend has known since day 1 that I would like ...
A. 8 March 2014: I hear no real commitment here of marriage before having a child, so I’m wondering where does he stand on that agenda?
After 2 years you’d have to have a good idea if your relationship is stable and whether you’re both on the same page as each oth... (read in full...)
I can't cope with my fiance watching porn!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My problem will probably seem trivial, but here it goes. I cannot deal with porn. At all. I used to be fine, but ended up in a bad relationship and he was also a true porn addict.Couldnt go more than an hour or so with out it, ...
A. 7 March 2014: I don’t think you’re meant to “deal” or “cope” with porn nor accept it filtering into your relationship if porn affects your emotional wellbeing or values. It’s evident you have an aversion to porn (like so many others). Therefore, “it is a big ... (read in full...)
My wife would rather talk to guys on webcam sites than come to bed with me!
Q. I have been married for 16 years and while our sex life hasn't always been great in the last 18 months my wife would rather talk to guys on a webcam site than come to bed with me. I try to talk to her about it but she just says it's a bit of fun a...
A. 6 March 2014: I’m wondering if this is a new found hobby that she’s got herself hooked on. What does she gain by talking to these guys via webcam, has anything changed in the bedroom when she does join you? Plus it may well be fun for her, but it’s at your ... (read in full...)
Has he lost interest after our date?
Q. I'm confused please help! I've seen this guy around for years now, I've never actually met him til recently we've been texting non stop flirting, he was my valentine which was the first time we've hung out. And we've talked recently, we went to the ...
A. 6 March 2014: Perhaps he just wanted to flirt a little with you to see what he could get, and since you both put out so quickly with the “make out sessions”, there maybe no real interest left, the challenge is over with?
If he had lost interest because ... (read in full...)
Should I stop hiring sex workers?
Q. I'm 27 and have never been on a date. I attribute the utter lack of romance in my life to the fact that I was born with a learning disability that has somewhat impeded my social skills. In order to compensate for the absence of such intimacy in my ...
A. 6 March 2014: Whoever started you off on this course of sex-workers obviously had no idea of the ramifications that would compound and affect you later in life. 7 years later you’re trying to rationalise your best options where sex is concerned. It would have ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for me in dating?
Q. Hey everyone, I have found myself struggling in getting in a relationship. My last was already 4 years ago (it lasted 3) and had no luck ever since. After a period of 2 years during which I focused on my career, I got back into the game and sta...
A. 5 March 2014: Word of encouragement;
You sound like you got your head screwed on right… you’re waiting for a woman with substance rather than play petty games with these girls who wouldn’t know a gentleman if they dated one.
From what I read I wouldn’t ... (read in full...)
Girls, would you date a guy who isn't funny?
Q. Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life at the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor. I'll n...
A. 5 March 2014: Humour is called for in a number of different ways; it’s not all about being the life of the party or making people laugh. It’s also about making people comfortable around you, being at ease, can they approach you and or see that you have the ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a passive aggressive sister?
Q. I have a younger sister whom I am generally very close with. However, she has a habit of having these mood changes which really upset me. What happens is that I will ask her not to do something, like eat food I am saving for a party, and she w...
A. 5 March 2014: Just for a bit of playful justice, you could place a bait of beautifully iced red velvet cupcakes out for your sister, laced with hot spicy Tabasco sauce in every bite :) In the mixture and the icing.
If she’s predictable as you say, this should p... (read in full...)
I'm the 30 year old virgin and don't want to be the 40 year old!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 31 and still single and I don't want to be the 40 years old virgin. It's not like I haven't been trying. I took other people's advices, read books, I even tried using those cologne that makes a person likes you. But none of t...
A. 4 March 2014: So you tell yourself you’re not supposed to experience true happiness because; “you used to be an evil being…”? How’s that working for you?
I think you may have to channel your thoughts back down to Earth and start getting out of the house mo... (read in full...)
Should I let this go?
Q. I'm absolutely fuming! Please read! Last night I went out to dinner for my friends birthday. There were 9 of us in total and a few friends of hers who I don't know. I wasn't feeling well as I had some work on my teeth and on tablets so I c...
A. 3 March 2014: When it comes to etiquette; this woman wasn’t the Host (nor acting as), but a self elected big mouth at the end of the evening and was totally out of place to assume everyone should split the bill evenly in the first place!
YES, it is downrigh... (read in full...)
Why is it a big deal for my boyfriend and I to be 7 years apart?
Q. im 14 turning 15 and my lover has just turned 23 and we are pretty far apart in age but does it really matter? we do not have a sexual relationship and nobody except a close adult friend of mine knows, I feel the urge to tell my mother that im in ...
A. 1 March 2014: If you can’t tell your own Mother at 14/15 years of age and you know this guy could go to prison because of your age; then it is a big deal! You may not have had sex, but I’m sure you would have kissed each other by now?
If you want to tell the... (read in full...)
He wants me to move away with him but I can't stand the thought of leaving my friends and family behind
Q. A year ago, I met the man of my dreams. I am 21, and he is 27. He is originally from Australia, and had spent the last three years living in the uk. He moved over here to live with his father who is a British citizen. We met through mutual friends,...
A. 27 February 2014: I can’t say I like his attitude; …leave the flat if you couldn’t support his decision. This speaks volumes. Imagine following him to Australia and he says; leave Australia if you don’t like it? So my advice is; you stay put and let him go home ... (read in full...)
My ex is being awkward about my boyfriend spending time with our children, yet thinks it's fine for him to take them on holiday with his girlfriend!
Q. I have been trying really hard to have a good strong friendship with my ex, but he is making it impossible and his girlfriend is trying her best to ruin whatever we do have left! I'm losing my patience with her, almost as much as him! Ok, so basic...
A. 26 February 2014: By the looks of it, it’s no wonder you guys broke up in the first place if this is how you act now… These issues are so petty in the scheme of things – the big picture, yet it appears you both want to throw your weight around to see who has the ... (read in full...)
Will he be better to her than he was to me?
Q. Will he be different with her? My husband and I divorced mainly because he was very emotionally/verbally abusive and he walked out. We have a child together-so I try to maintain a civil relationship with him because of that. He has a girlfr...
A. 25 February 2014: As upsetting as it may be to think of him being wonderful; remember we are all essentially nice in the beginning, which only after a time our true character is revealed. Meanwhile he is setting a net with this woman who may well be oblivious to his ... (read in full...)
Would you be ok with your girlfriend travelling abroad with friends?
Q. my gf and i have been in a ldr for almost two years and we are about to close the distance and move in together this year. first step before proposing ;) we asked different questions to each other to make sure we would exactly what we are getting ...
A. 15 January 2014: Fact is you both maintained a LDR with ‘trust’ did you not; and yet still went about your own lives somewhat separate from each other, and during such time people do make plans and still have goals and dreams to realise… Perhaps your girlfriend ... (read in full...)
S this friendship worth trying to save or is it time to move on because of the control her husband has?
Q. I have this very best friend. She use to live 1300 miles away and now we live in the same city. She and her husband work together and are together 24/7, they also live on site where they work and I work there too. Now that she lives in the same city ...
A. 13 January 2014: I had something similar like this happen with me and a girlfriend who married a Mr. Control guy…
I continued to be her friend; as I valued the friendship we/she had built, we were each others support valve, but I learnt to distance myself from the... (read in full...)
Found sexual pics of my fiancé and his ex on his computer and not sure what to do or where to go from here....
Q. The other day I was uploading pics on my fiancés laptop and came across a file that had pics of him and his ex having sex and her giving him a blowjob. It was by far the worst thing I ever saw. I am 5 months pregnant too with our first child. There ...
A. 13 January 2014: Of all the keepsakes one can have of their past, this certainly speaks volumes when you’ve expressed your feelings and he still doesn’t want to delete those (X-Rated) pics. He has a perverse value/moral system which doesn’t reflect family values or ... (read in full...)
He said I pushed him into getting married
Q. After watching a movie with my husband about a very possessive women who was trying to force her bf into marriage and when he wouldn't she went absolutely nuts (funny movie by the way) My Husband looks over at me and says all women want is to get ...
A. 11 January 2014: This movie obviously triggered something within him, which his peanut brain of insensitivity could relate too, whereby he felt there was a comparison of sorts, albeit it supposed to be a comedy, not a personal review!?
Had you the wit/humo... (read in full...)
I would like to know where my boyfriend is during the day, and night, 24/7.
Q. Hi all, I would like to know if its too much for me to ask my bf about his whereabouts. By asking about his whereabouts I mean just asking him his plans for the day and what he'd be doing, not the crazy gf sort of asking every hour. Personally I ...
A. 31 December 2013: My first thought was; perhaps you’d like to give him an ankle bracelet to GPS his whereabouts, because how else are you to get peace of mind without such a device? But that would be real girlfriend crazy, right!?
If you personally feel this is ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not take down sports illustrated calendar that his mom bought him!
Q. This question is really weighing me down. This Christmas, my boyfriend of about a years mother bought him a sports illustrated swimsuit calendar. Now, before you roll your eyes and dub me insecure, know that my irritation and issue with this has ...
A. 31 December 2013: I’d have thought a CAR/SPORTS calendar would have been more appropriate to give to a son… I agree it’s not about being stick thin or insecure, it’s about you having values.
But before you off completely and start demanding a revolution, he’s nat... (read in full...)
Cheater Cheater!!!
Q. My husband bought another woman clothing and jewelry for Christmas I found the receipt in his truck, I know he will deny it, should I ask him about it or leave it alone? ...
A. 31 December 2013: So you are 100% CERTAIN these items were not intended for you!?
Avenge your hurt by taking him shopping with you for new clothing and jewellery using his credit card. If you have an idea as to where these items were bought you could visit those sh... (read in full...)
He lied to me about being married!
Q. I met this guy at a friend's party a little over 2 months ago; he was really sweet and funny and about 2 days after the party, my friend told me that her friend told her that he was asking for my number, because he was not a direct acquaintance of ...
A. 29 December 2013: Personally would you like to know if he were your husband acting like this?
For me, I’d want to know from someone who is respectful enough not to reciprocate contact and by someone who told him to get lost. Later he’d be in of a right royal ve... (read in full...)
He chose an engagment ring for me, did I do the wrong thing with it?
Q. My bf of 2yrs gave me an engagement ring(only) on x-mas eve. Honestly I thought he wouldn't want to get married again. First marriage when he was a teen. Second, she cheated on him. Couldn't blame him if he had reservation on marriage. (I've never ...
A. 29 December 2013: First up, what a lovely unexpected surprise – Congratulations! :)
I see where you’re coming from as you sound practical and what girl doesn’t know what she likes when it comes to, THE RING? For me it’s a case of his budget and her choice at this ... (read in full...)
He promised to spend New Year's Eve with him but cancelled to be with his friend. Should I stick it out or move on?
Q. I've dated my boyfriend for a year and out of the blue the past January he broke up with me. He became easily influenced by his mates as they broke up with their gfs and were single and he was the only one attached at the time. We spend New Year's ...
A. 28 December 2013: Sadly you cancelled more than all your plans for this New Years Eve but a pregnancy because of this creature, to be with him!?
For me; Promises are only as good as the person who makes them… Clearly his are not solid, but disingenuous. As proof, h... (read in full...)
I want to be proactive about ending this relationship, but how?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend 18 months. He has let me down over money, flirting and not taking enough responsibility. He is not a bad person but I met him when I was at a low point after divorce and we dont have much in common. I feel I have put a ...
A. 26 December 2013: Proactive = Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty
I suspect you’ve come to realise how you like to be properly treated in a relationship after having been previously divorced and being let down by your boyfriend?
When you met ... (read in full...)
Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home?
Q. Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home? I have a small wooden sign hanging up in my hallway saying "Please remove your shoes," and am wondering if this may appear rude. I wouldn't throw a tantrum ...
A. 19 December 2013: When I see polished timber floors or white carpet, I remove my shoes; although this may not be a clear case to everyone… If you’re inclined to be fastidious or just houseproud and you do have polished timber floors or white carpet, a sign would be ... (read in full...)
Any sayings that make you feel better after a breakup?
Q. Hi, Has anyone got any good sayings that make you feel better and help forget, get over a relationship that is or hasn't worked out? For example, I saw a good one "If you are left wondering were you are stood, it's time to stop standing and sta...
A. 18 December 2013: These are some verses I recite when a relationship hasn’t worked out for me
#…take the ‘L’ out of LOVER and it’s OVER!
Another chapter closes and a new one begins…
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, but it is I who must apply a band... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 17 December 2013: Without getting into a debate here; …“am I right to tell him he should not keep in touch with her?” I’d be more inclined to be peeved that this has been going on without your knowledge up until now? How is this possible; for him not to mention this ... (read in full...)
He wants to split EVERY expense we incur as a couple and it's causing problems in our relationship
Q. Help needed!! My boyfriend of 6 months ls all for equality to the point that it makes me miserable. Before anyone says that I probably like when guys pay for me, let me give you a little background. We both young professionals , I am 5 y...
A. 16 December 2013: If he was previously used, when it was he who picked those users, not you! However his nitpicking also makes you want to nitpick like him, thus sets the tone of your relationship; it’s what I call – CALCULATING.
Be that it early days and one ... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of adultery, with him, because I'm not yet divorced. We have so many issues. Is this abusive situation resolvable?
Q. My issue is, I been together with my bf for over 2years now, but on and off. It's our first baby, i left him and get a new house where we can live with my baby. we have a big fight all the time,thats why i left . I gave him so many chances,...
A. 16 December 2013: Savannah why is so difficult for you to see that this man is no good for you? Do you need it to be spelt out? Here are YOUR WORDS back at you so that you can reflect upon this at sometime, when you think; “…if my bf loves me or just using me.”
... (read in full...)
I hate that his ex is still part of his life
Q. I'm wondering if someone has gone through this My boyfriend is friends with his ex and it drives me crazy. I guess the reason I hate it is because I know how much he loved her and he was with her for a long time. Whenever I've noticed that the...
A. 16 December 2013: (Unless there are children involved,) I don’t see why we should become social workers (figuratively speaking) for our EX’s after we break up from them… Like are we to make their transition from us more comfortable? Once you split that’s it for me, ... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 14 December 2013: I work out our budget contribution according to percentages and if one has a debt or desires to buy nonessentials they can pay for it out of their own pocket. It makes our financial life fair and simple as I could not possibly compete with my ... (read in full...)
Does this guy even care? Is he upset? Did I do something wrong here?
Q. I need some advice. I have been talking (texting) to this guy who I met through a friend for about a month now. He seems interested in me, but I have been very caution about him. The thing that I hate about him is that if I text him, he doesn't ...
A. 14 December 2013: In polite society if someone cared about you “they would call not text” to see how you’re feeling thereafter!
The message he gives is clear to me that he does not give proper consideration to organise a week-end away knowing you were already ... (read in full...)
Is this desire to leave my husband a temporary phase?
Q. I don'tknow if i am the only one Who experience this feeling, but lately it overwhelms me and makes me feel restless. Short story: 20 years of marriage, 2 kids are in college, last year we are empty nesters. I was stay at home mom. When first ...
A. 14 December 2013: I can relate to the feeling of exhaustion and dealing with a partners difficult personality; it’s a never ending cycle where you don’t get a brain holiday! For me, my feminine qualities and pursuits are gradually robbed when I’m constantly required ... (read in full...)
I get jealous when he talks to his ex!
Q. How can I stop worrying and being jealous when my boyfriend talks with his ex girlfriend? My boyfriend is friends with this ex and they have a few close mutual friends, and whenever he talks to his ex, I get a little jealous and worried and I do...
A. 8 December 2013: If it were I dealing with this at your age, I’d be a bit curious as to why he needs to talk to an EX after a year, if there are no children, first love or not!
Evidently he’s not over being dumped as it does take them longer to move on to be wi... (read in full...)
I know I'm chilled and laid back, but a man called me "boring"! How can I change giving that impression?
Q. I have been single now for about 2 years. I don't really date much but I went out with a Co worker the other night, we just went to dinner. Physically I know he's attracted to me but he did mention to me that I was "boring". I right away felt a bit ...
A. 5 December 2013: I betcha that was a compliment you thought you’d never hear someone say; you’re BORING?
Pity you missed the que to reply in humorous form by saying; well that’s one way of not getting laid tonight… :)
I understand it caught you off guard… Just ... (read in full...)
He never has money for things we do together
Q. Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months. I'm shy and have not dated a lot. We have a lot of issues. He hardly ever has any money due to debt following divorce, so he doesn't often take me out or buy flowers or gifts, but goes drinking. ...
A. 5 December 2013: No man is worth the wait and wasting your money and precious time over when he’s got money for drink and not for you – yours dreams, goals and a future together as a couple should be etc.!?
Being shy is only one part of you, while the other si... (read in full...)
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