Should I tell my bullying sister-in-law off?
Q. What do I do if my nerving bully of a sister in law comes in and says something smart about me not going to my husband s doctors appointment. Its at 11 30 my daughter attends a day support program 5 days a week her van has certain times ca...
A. 11 July 2016: This would be the time to say something smart yourself; oh thanks sister-in-law for offering to stay here/come over and mind your niece… She’s picked up at 11:30 and dropped off at 3:30… I’ll see you when hubby and I get back. (BYE BYE nasty cow!)
... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016: Seriously what boss can not afford to buy his own condoms? A cheating married boss!
A single man would carry his own. A good faithful married man leaves his condoms at home and makes excuses to his boss, not to his wife.
I'm sorry to say; yo... (read in full...)
Should I consider opening up a dialogue with the father of my six year old? Or could it cause problems if I do this?
Q. I have a six year old who unfortunately has an absent father of a one night stand. I did the grown up thing to inform dad of pregnancy but he cut all contact at that point. I decided not pursue him because selfishly it made it easier for me going...
A. 9 July 2016: I need to ask; what has inspired or provoked you to consider opening up communication after 6 easy going years without him?
What have you told your little one about the absent whereabouts of his/her father to date?
What’s your underlying ... (read in full...)
Lies are taking me to the edge
Q. I've been a single mother to my 6 year old since she was 3 months old. Her dad walked out on us, and even though I tried to get him to see her, he pretended like she didn't exist. We were both 18 when she was born, and we had been together for ...
A. 8 July 2016: Thanks to this 'wonderful' social media you can now provoke each other into arguments and or upset people’s lives on a grand scale.
How about you ignoring this B-ytch and not fuel the fire she’s stoking underneath your feet? She’s stirring... (read in full...)
Is this normal in a good relationship? Or am I being submissive towards him?
Q. Dear Cupid I have a history of being in abusive relationship. So I wouldn't know a anything about being in a normal relationship. Currently in dating a good person for about 4 months. We have good sexual chemistry and we talk, he doesn't push me ...
A. 7 July 2016: Yeah it’s normal! Predictable normal…
Realistically there’s nothing wrong here for him or you to resume projects/hobbies… as after the said 4 months of dating, one would need to relax and get back in the flow of some normality in their lives. ... (read in full...)
Dealing with grumpy attitudes
Q. Hello, I am here seeking advice I suppose, because I'm finding myself in a rather frustrating situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, we also live together. When he's happy, he's sweet and loving and witho...
A. 6 July 2016: Effectively he’s shutting you down from communicating as hearing the truth is threatening… this behaviour is a defensive mechanism to control you and his environment, which in-turn makes you feel unsafe, on edge, or maybe afraid to discuss and or ... (read in full...)
How can I now deal with things that I now wish I did not know?
Q. My wife and I were doing spring cleaning and I came upon a set of her old notebooks. At first they seemed like ordinary college notes. But as I read on, I read about her past sexual addictions and how uncontrollable she was when it came to sex. I...
A. 6 July 2016: I can only tell you how I would want someone to deal with things if they ever stumbled across my old notebooks of past experiences.
But firstly I commend you for having the good sense not to judge; for that is paramount when reading another’... (read in full...)
Is it OK for the guy I am seeing to keep on texting his ex when he is on a date with me? What can I do?
Q. If the guy you are seeing, keeps texting an ex while he is spending time with you,would you be okay with it. Is it disrespectful to the girl? Would you turn a blind eye to it? Will you date a guy who is bff with his ex?...
A. 6 July 2016: YES I'd turn a blind eye to it... I'd make out like Ray Charles and wouldn't see this ignoramus again.
CAA
... (read in full...)
What kind of man is he? And what kind of relationship can I expect with him?
Q. Hello I have been chatting with a man I met on a business website we have been chating for 20 days, from the first few days when he added me on Facebook he said that he liked me but he felt he was too old for me which is 20 year difference, but I ...
A. 4 July 2016: He’s no different than he was two days ago when you wrote about him…
He’s a manipulative, cunning, sweet-talking con man… Acting like a Diabetic old man craving for some real Sugar!
So far after 20 days of chatting you’ve managed to show ... (read in full...)
How long do I give him to decide?
Q. Hi , I decided to bite the bullet and ask my friend out , there is some chemistry between us and he has told me he does like me in that way . he said he would think about it . How long would you give someone to think ? i dont expect him to get back ...
A. 4 July 2016: What's there to think about IF the chemistry is mutual? It wasn't a marriage proposal you asked!
Where did you suggest the two of you go out that requires such thinking; the Arctic Circle? Or did you leave it up in the air?
He should get back ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop jumping for anything his wife wants and see that his wife is trying to control him?
Q. I am married and have been dating a married man for 3 yrs.Neither of us are having sex with our spouses. He says he doesn't love her but if she wants to do something and we have plans he just doesn't call me to let me know. He waits until after ...
A. 4 July 2016: What a ridiculous Puppet Show this is… She has him on a string, he definitely has you on a string and you have no string to pull what-so-ever! It puzzles me why would you want to complicate your life with this married man?
This is one disastro... (read in full...)
Is this fair? I've developed depression due to my concerns. Should she be contributing more? She leaves me to pay everything in order for us to live
Q. I'm feeling incredibly depressed lately. Be been married for 1year, we've been together for over 6years. I really do love her but I feel like she is bringing nothing to our relationship. She got a great degree from a state university, she cou...
A. 3 July 2016: I’m certain there’s a chemical reaction in some women after they walk down the altar and slip that gold wedding band on their finger…. I’ve seen and read it many times. Her previous burdens are like suddenly lifted and placed on the husband’s ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 2 July 2016: For this union to work you Adults need to be on the same page… none of this running to mummy when the boys don’t want to do something and certainly none of this laying in the bedroom yapping all day!
By either of you having a soft heart you are ... (read in full...)
Will I ever measure up to his ex?
Q. I've been dating a nice guy for 4 months now. I really have a lot of feelings for him and we have a great connection. There is a big issue though. He got out of a serious 7 year relationship about 6 months before we met. I knew about this from ...
A. 31 May 2016: IF she was so irreplaceable, he could have stayed and worked on his relationship with her? He stopped “being in love” with her is such a weak excuse… months before it ended. IT TAKES YEARS not months!
What do you think he’s likely to do when he ... (read in full...)
I feel crushed. How can a man turn nasty so quickly?
Q. My ex of 42 recently ended things twice with me and I have lost all trust in him now. He wanted to see me yesterday. I still love him but declined as Im healing and feel it was not a healthy relationship anyway. He had mood swings and was not over...
A. 31 May 2016: Clearly those appalling actions and his mental instability show you WHY he is an EX to his previous long-term partner and to you!?
He's words are fake and were intended to inflict pain and to punish you for rejecting a meeting. A mood swing th... (read in full...)
How can I get the respect I seek from my husband and from his family? What will improve this situation?
Q. My husband told me he recents me for keeping him away from his family. I do keep him away from his family because HIS family doesn't like me . my marriage is falling apart over this we are at the point where either I let him be around his famil...
A. 30 May 2016: When you give up being in control of your happy bubble it’s certainly going to bring about fear because it’s threatening a change from your controlled environment.
The more insecure you are, the more you need to be and stay in control… this of ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a terrible marriage. Do I stay or leave?
Q. I am having trouble deciding whether to leave my marriage. I wonder how it all looks from the outside. We met as coworkers during a hard time in my life and slept together even though I made it clear I did not want that type of relationship. Ev...
A. 29 May 2016: Resentment is like an obnoxious weed, it’s extremely hard rake out of your system when is been allowed to grow for many years…
And while resentment has taken root within you, I see your husband has evolved… you wrote many good points of his prog... (read in full...)
Should I stop cooking for my Bf after what he did? Any suggestions on how to get him to appreciate me more?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, living together for 1 year. He can be super sweet, loyal and sensitive and we have a lot in common... but sometimes he can just 'lose it.' Though he would never be violent he has lost his temper over ...
A. 27 May 2016: These men do not thank nor appreciate what you really do for them. They take you for granted while they sit on their throne to play Xbox as if it’s their given right to relax after work, criticise your loving efforts after you work all day and give ... (read in full...)
My life has slumped and I feel isolated.
Q. So many things are wrong I can't solve any of them and its affecting my wellbeing. I'm in my mid 40's. 5 years ago my husband left me and for a while I had no where to live and no car. I had to re-locate and as a result have lived in three ...
A. 25 May 2016: I can identify with your troubles; yet you need to at least get out there, force yourself off that couch, out of that mind set and volunteer in something.
Helping others also helps you. Keeping your hands, and mind busy is absolutely vital. W... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 25 May 2016: There are a lot of questions from males on DC who always grab the check and complain that their date never reciprocates... They too resent having to ask the woman to show some consideration on their part.
Now the shoe is on the other foot, bu... (read in full...)
My husband's like a child
Q. Hi, hoping for advice on how to get my husband to become more mature? Handle more adult tasks? I feel like I'm his mother more than anything and I hate having to remind him or "nag" him. I was living in my own place when we got married and he m...
A. 22 May 2016: My girlfriend had a similar irresponsible husband when it came to handling finances, paying bills, and equally didn’t see the seriousness. So what did she do?
Believe it or not, she placed a notice in the paper that stated she was exempt, ... (read in full...)
Is trust something you can work on with a partner, or is it a complete lost cause if you don't trust them?
Q. Dearcupid, is trust something you can work on with a partner, or is it a complete lost cause if you don't trust them? My ex boyfriend and I have been back in contact as of only a month ago. We were broken up for several months. I had broken up with...
A. 22 May 2016: Take the letter T away from TRUST and you get RUST!
"He says we can work on our trust issues..."
That’s absolute RUBBISH!
Meanwhile "he still keeps in touch with her and wants to be 'friends' with her"
No sooner is he out of bed with one woman, ... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to handle grief? Maybe it was not my fault the baby bird died. But I feel guilt about it
Q. Hello, I am absolutely devastated. My boyfriend and I went to the mall and saw a group of people huddled together near the entrance of a shop. I overheard one of the people there going "Management knows about it." When we left the mall about a...
A. 21 May 2016: Understandably most people would walk by not knowing or caring what to do… But you a least tried.
This helpless injured little creature was fortunate you came along… to finally come to rest in comforting hands of someone who cared… Guilty t... (read in full...)
I never realized how lazy my boyfriend was until we moved into together!
Q. Hi everyone I've been with my boyfriend just under 4 years we have a 17 month old daughter and have just moved in together the problem is I didn't realise how lazy he is he goes to work and admits he does nothing comes home I have tea ready I sort ...
A. 21 May 2016: I think you’re doing a great job… taking pride in your home, tending to the children, having Tea ready and nagging his lazy arse to help around the place.
But let’s look at the nagging; now if these men were so dang smart they’d realise the quic... (read in full...)
How can I stop? My fiance is going to leave me if I don't stop this behavior.
Q. I am getting married in four months time, and my problem is this: basically I have been constantly obsessing over my partner's past, and all the things that he did wrong at the start of our relationship. I know it is irrational but cannot stop, and ...
A. 21 May 2016: Your fiancé is right; you do need to see a Therapist and tell them what you’ve said here.
Furthermore a pending marriage can cause excessive stress for anyone to lash out with irrational nonsense or be the happiest bride to be. Could you be feeli... (read in full...)
Is it time to say 'NO,' (with no guilt), to E and mean it? Do children have to attend parties put on by overbearing parents?
Q. There is this lady "E" who is driving me nuts! Her kids (boy and girl twins with the SAME gender neutral name,let's say J Lee and J Leigh) are turning 10 next month and she drove to our house to drop off an invitation and itinerary. Yes. An itine...
A. 21 May 2016: I think this might be a good occasion for your daughter and others to start learning how to understand certain situations. Like what they might find with the twins mother E?
E is not a danger or threat to anyone that you mentioned (accept ... (read in full...)
Should my adult son's disrespectful behaviour be the subject of a discussion with him or should I just continue to mind my own business and stay silent?
Q. I am a mother of a 24 year old son, I can honestly say he was a great kid . He didn't get into much trouble as a teen and has always been very respectful. I come from a big family and a lot of them will say how great he was and is. He has been dat...
A. 20 May 2016: I believe it’s their generation to be rude crude and boasting about it in social media… Some have no censor button when it comes to groping in public or going on Facebook to share pictures of someone’s (sexy) arse etc. This has nothing to do with ... (read in full...)
How should I respond to his hurtful comments during a argument?
Q. Hi, Just wondering if any body has had a partner who would often say hurtful comments during an argument and if so what did you do? My fiance often says things like he doesn't love me, can't see a future with me, doesn't want a child with me...
A. 19 May 2016: He OFTEN says… OP that means he’s not coping with something in the relationship or in himself, and his true anxious insecure feelings/thoughts are coming out! So yes, you are correct.
I believe his hidden thoughts, feelings and nature are surfacin... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be really horrible to someone who has hurt you emotionally physically and financially?
Q. Is it normal to be really really horrible to someone who has verbally, physically, financially and emotionally abused you? When you just can't take anymore? To the point where I scream and shout at that person everyday and never used to be that way. ...
A. 16 May 2016: Dang right its normal! After 4 violations of abuse you’re bound to explode into rage. Had you received TLC from this person and exploded into rage, then it would have been abnormal of you.
Sure give 'em a good dose of their own horrible abusive ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for being jealous of his best female friend?
Q. I have been with this guy for a little over 1 year. We literally fight every day over the same shit. He has a friend thats a girl that he calls sis that he supposedly has known for 20 years, and she has tried to break him and I up and so I told him ...
A. 14 May 2016: When you're fighting everyday over the same issue, the relationship basically is not working. Its saying, the problem is not resolved because someone it's budging, stubborn or interested in rectifying their behaviour. Harmony is out the window.
... (read in full...)
I'm married and had sex with a married man and now he wants nothing to do with me!
Q. Hi i am a married and have 10 childrens with my husband...I had sex with a a married man and then fell in love with him, after that only one day of sex in the park he now ignores me...and acts like i dnt exist im angry and feel like he used me...
A. 13 May 2016: Well you must have loved your Husband at least TEN times to have 10 children by him? How many do you need for a Rugby Union team in NZ? There are another 5 more kids to go?
Listen you're not thinking straight or acting responsibly – sex in the p... (read in full...)
Did I miss the red flags on our first dates?
Q. I was wondering if I had missed this red flag? On a first date with a guy he mentioned his ex. He went a little into detail saying he had a 16 year old son and that he had to take his ex to court to get access to him. This I believe was some yea...
A. 13 May 2016: What a 'Hero' at his age, texting a break-up… Good riddance indeed! This guy had enough red flags you could have closed a beach for swimming.
You picked up on his flapping flags quite well, good for you. The purpose of early introduc... (read in full...)
Insensitive, thoughtless partner that doesn't care about special occassions. Calling a woman as materialistic when confronted him about his ways.
Q. If I can get back to the times that i can run away from my partner, i will. I am 30 years old and my partner is 40 yrs old. I did not imagine I will be treated like this by a man i am living with for almost 8years. We are not married but since we ...
A. 13 May 2016: He is definitely taking you for granted, insulting you and rubbing it in your face. He’s a taker, not a giver… he doesn’t appreciate of your thoughtfulness, nor understands the little things a man does for a woman mean the world to us. You’re ... (read in full...)
Am I being reasonable or unreasonable? Needy or too needy?
Q. Am I being too needy? I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable. My boyfriend is a great guy and always makes time for his work, hobbies, friends, parents, siblings and one or twice a week me. However my precence, to him, counts as quality time ...
A. 12 May 2016: As mentioned, each man has a different way of dividing his attention to the people in his life and in the way he shows attention to his girlfriend…
He’s giving you gifts and dinners, when perhaps you want more one on one time without his fami... (read in full...)
Is my nudity, inside my own home, in front of my 44 year old stepdaughter, OK or not?
Q. My wife and I are in our late 60's - just average people except that we like to be nude at home when it is warm enough. Now my 44 year old step daughter is living with us and strongly objects to me being naked even though it is my house. Her mo...
A. 12 May 2016: I can't get past you having warm days in England, what a treat that must be. Try Australia in summer at my place, we'd all be sitting around dang naked... until family come to stay for holidays. I count the days till they leave.
Just cover up... (read in full...)
What’s the best response to a break up message?
Q. If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...
A. 11 May 2016: If my longer term partner called it quits, I’d be astounded given his inability for making any wise decisions. It’d be a welcome relief – GO! Can I help you pack? It’s being dramatic yet quiet at the same time.
However the deepest impressi... (read in full...)
Is this liason weird?
Q. I'm 25 and he's 30. We've been dating 5 weeks and are exclusive. I posted earlier about him inviting me to LA with him on business trip (in a month). We plan to go sightseeing together for a few days. Our connection is amazing and we talk about ...
A. 10 May 2016: You talk about anything and everything; that's NOT TRUE! You never maturely discuss sex and intimacy at all, or your virginity which are key issues.
From your previous post; I still say it's a business trip first, because now he can't put you ... (read in full...)
He swears there's nothing romantic going on. Should I believe him?
Q. Hi guys. I'm a single mom, I'm stuck in a rut. I've been seeing this guy for a year now. We've had some major ups and major downs. Lately though, it's just all downs. He's befriended a waitress at his local bar (he goes just about every day)...
A. 4 May 2016: Yes I'm all for catching out liars... good for you. Now is the time to heal, and not come out damaged, nor go crazy with thoughts of revenge…
Take Care - CAA
... (read in full...)
Does my fiance's female friend fancy him? Should I be concerned? How should I handle this situation?
Q. I really need some advice please I feel awful. My boyfriend and I got engaged recently and I couldnt be happier about it, there is just one thing that is really getting me down and making ne question everything. He has a female school friend w...
A. 4 May 2016: Good for you to check his credibility. In this instance; deleting their conversations are a sure sign there’s something making the hen house crow.
The texting late at night is one thing, being her rescuer as some shoulder to cry on is another,... (read in full...)
He has a short temper. How can I handle him when he reacts this way?
Q. I had fallen for a guy who is staying beside my home. He is a kind of short tempered person. But the time whenever he is getting angry he doesn't even know that what he is doing. Whenever his expectations are not meeting he is showing anger th...
A. 4 May 2016: Really, like what is there to handle? Do you have a contract with him that says, you’re to suffer his abuse, be scared and advise him to reduce his temper?
He’s angry, easily irritated over silly things, controlling, possessive, passive aggressi... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to go on a trip together? I'm a virgin.
Q. I've been seeing someone for 3 weeks, seven dates, and we speak daily. Our connection is amazing and we share everything. However one subject we haven't mentioned is sex. I went to his place once and we didn't do anything physical except kiss. Just ...
A. 4 May 2016: I wouldn’t be so naïve to think after 3 weeks there’s this amazing connection. However IF you're not concerned about loosing your virginity, then GO to L.A. But your friends are right, and if he’s paying for your flight or not, then rest assured ... (read in full...)
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