My boyfriend spends a lot of time chatting online, including to a younger girl. He hasn't changed his relationship status for many of his accounts.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since 6 months. Hes a computer guy and spends all day on his computer at work. I'm concerned how much time he spends not working, but chatting or doing something else. He has so many accounts on so many ...
A. 16 August 2013: It maybe normal for your generation to have many different portals and talk to people on the other side of the world and call them friends when in fact there just strangers rabbiting on (chatting)… What he gets from these conversations will be found ... (read in full...)
When do you tell a woman you have had a vasectomy?
Q. If a man has had a vasectomy, when is he obligated to tell the woman he is dating or interested in dating? What I am wondering is, if one decided to disclose this immediately, how would one bring this up on a first date? "So, what are your i...
A. 30 July 2013: For your age group; it would be more likely that the woman would bring this subject up about children if she’s interested. She may well ask as could you; “do you have children?” So you won’t have to stress so much about saying anything, other than; ... (read in full...)
My dog doesn't get along with his dog
Q. Hello I really need some help with this. I have two dogs one female one male. My Partner has one. we have been together for sometime now BUT my male dog when introduced to his keeps going for him. This is starting to put a strain on our relations...
A. 29 July 2013: Try an obedience training school or get a dog trainer (whisperer) that comes to your home. Generally it’s us humans that require the retaining :)
It seems that these two male dogs may have unsorted territorial issues and when we humans react to... (read in full...)
After losing my virginity to an escort I am left wondering if sex is overrated
Q. Hi all, I just wanted to confess that I had just lost my virginity to an escort. She came to my place and had arranged a 1 hour session. To my surprise, I didn't couldn't stay fully erect all the time. I thought I would finish very quickly beca...
A. 29 July 2013: Of course sex is overrated for someone keen on losing their virginity! First up from recollection, you were propositioned by an Air-hostess or a webcam girl who offered sex for money which turned out to be a scam… Then when that flopped you hire... (read in full...)
The relationship has been going down hill for the last year ...
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 4 years was not nice to me for the past 1 year, he behavior towards me is deteriorating as each day goes by. I am not sure whether all relationships goes sour as days goes by or its just me. He never picks up when i call, g...
A. 25 July 2013: Each relationship does have its dull moments… and that’s why my partner and I set goals of holidays aboard and have small romantic getaways in between to break up the monotony of every day living. Every now and again I do have to remind him of being ... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay off boyfriends debts. How do I teach him to be more responsible?
Q. He's 21, and i'm 20. We've been together for 10 months now, and we're serious and in love. However, we're having money issues that are putting a strain on our relationship.. He has ADHD (not taking meds), is very irresponsible, and LOVES to spe...
A. 25 July 2013: If he can’t pay off his loan debt where it counts, how is it possible; he’ll pay you back? It doesn’t work that way! He’ll just have more excuses not to pay you back! You’d be easy to fool, whereas the Collectors are not interested in delays and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is withholding affection after argument
Q. My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20's and we've been living together for 3 years. Four days ago we got into a pretty bad argument where I suggested a break up in the heat of the moment (not something I want at all) and he agreed to. I then ...
A. 25 July 2013: I loathe the egg shell flooring… All manner of insecurities start swirling around in my head when we don’t resolve an issue after an argument. (Those particular issues involve whether we should stay together.) Yet both of us tend to retreat to lick ... (read in full...)
My landlord wants to date me and is buying and fixing things in the apartment. It's scaring me, what do I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I've recently moved to a new city. I was pretty upset the first time I met my landlord, as my flatmates decided that me being the new girl, they could play a cruel trick. So he helped me out and sorted the situation. Compl...
A. 24 July 2013: Be professional about this; don’t mix business with pleasure! You’re already seeing how this makes you uneasy and awkward. Do you think you’re the first ‘pretty girl’ he’s ever paid attention to and asked out? He knows you’re vulnerable in a ... (read in full...)
Is it appropriate or inappropriate for your sister to live with your soon-to-be ex husband?
Q. Appropriate or inappropriate? My husband and I were having problems. My sister broke up with her boyfriend and requested to live in the house, I said no and gave her other options. My husband and I were on the verge of separation, I didn't think it ...
A. 24 July 2013: If the motive is to acquire FREE Accommodation and to appease your sister, you’d choose Grandma’s place – BLOOD If the motive is something else, you’d choose the soon to be EX Bother-in-laws place – WATER Prov. – People who are related have str... (read in full...)
I want his girlfriend to know he's been cheating on her with me!
Q. So I've been talking/hooking up with this guy and he has a girlfriend of a few years... I don't want to change my situation with him yet but I do want her to know what he's doing. She seems like a really good (virginal) girl... How could I do this ...
A. 24 July 2013: This question has a familiar tone to it...
But going on the bases of this question, you agree to feel absolute guilt, are willing to not see him anymore and think she should know.
I’d forget about sending those photos etc. via Facebook and... (read in full...)
How should I handle events when my future step daughter has her first child
Q. I am engaged and not married yet. My fiance has two adult children from a previous marriage. They aren't in contact with him too much, forgetting him on Father's Day, Christmas and his birthday. No cards(sometimes there is a card), phone calls or ...
A. 24 July 2013: It may not necessarily be his entire fault for the lack of good communication when his ex-wife is still alive and remarried. She may continue to bad-mouth him (as was our situation) or simply be more connected or involved in their adult lives as ... (read in full...)
How to deal with this in front of the kids?
Q. I've been with my husband for 20 years (we were both VERY young), and married for 14 years. He is a police officer and I recently found out that he is cheating on me with a female paramedic. The divorce is in process - but how do I remain civil ...
A. 23 July 2013: You don’t have to deal with the paramedic, she was not the one who dishonoured your marital vows; it was your husband! She may not even remain in the picture. Other than divulging the truth yourself as mentioned… I believe there should be an ... (read in full...)
What do guys visualise during sex?
Q. Hi just a quick qn about men and sex! Sorry if its crude :-) Sometimes when I have sex with my boyfriend and he is behind me doing all the work doggy style I look back and he has his eyes open. Then when I am on top doing the work he keeps hi...
A. 23 July 2013: I asked my partner this question and he said, he thinks of me and he’s just enjoying the moment! Although when I needed him to slow down, I did on ‘one’ occasion ask him to picture his ex; LOL Eeek! (Don’t ask what happened.)
He on the other ha... (read in full...)
The girl I've been dating has basically asked me to be on standby in case it doesn't work out with her ex
Q. So i have been seeing this girl for a month or two. We have had sex multiple times and tells me after the first night that she wants me to be her's. I stay the same and i go on vacation and she doesn't tell me whats going on. I come to find out she ...
A. 23 July 2013: After 3 f*ck ups this girl obviously likes her live complicated and looks to be a slow learner to go back a 4th time to her EX! (What’s he got that you haven’t?) Nonetheless, you on the other hand are a quick learner to move on! Well done mate, you ... (read in full...)
My long-term boyfriend is not the one for me. How do I go about breaking up with him?
Q. I am 28 and feel like I want to end my 4 year relationship, but I'm so scared of hurting him I've been putting it off. I have been thinking this for a while but ignored it thinking it would just be a phase, but I know now it isn't. But to him it ...
A. 22 July 2013: It’ll be a bomb shell no matter how you look at it or deliver it!? :( Sensitive and thoughtful as you are not to hurt him; I find it hard to believe that your boyfriend be oblivious to sensing something amiss within you or the relationship to be de... (read in full...)
Married for 32 years and she's never given me oral sex. Will I die never knowing what it's like?
Q. I am 56 yrs old, sitting here late at night ready to cry - in that I have known my wife (55) for 35 yrs., married for 32, with 3 grown children and 2 grandchildren - and through all these years, she has never given me oral sex. I made some subtle ...
A. 22 July 2013: Hopefully you won’t die in the near future without knowing… Be that your marriage has taken on a pattern of familiarity, predictable flavour; a request like this would be a shock to her system after 32years of marriage. I wager this is somethin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 4 weeks slept with me, but he's still using dating sites!
Q. Help, what do I do? I have been dating my boyfriend about 4 weeks last night we slept together. I was under the understanding we were exclusive as he said but then I went to delete my dating account only to be horrified that he is still activily ...
A. 22 July 2013: I don’t know how anyone can expect to be exclusive after 4 weeks; you hardly know each other. Yet if he, this prefect 4 week stranger says, hey babe we’re exclusive then it must be true? How else does one get a girl into bed so soon? Here you ... (read in full...)
He loses his temper especially about money issues
Q. Hello friends! I am in a dilema! I don't think my boyfriend is good at communicating. He waits until things REALLY get on his nerves and then he blows up on me! Like he used to hate how much rent I paid him, and he never said anything until one...
A. 19 July 2013: This man seems to calculate everything that passes through his radar…Grocery shopping, housework, business trip, restaurant meals, holidays, mortgage payments you name it; HE’S CALCULATING! Since you mentioned he works in a Law Firm; I see him ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend takes medication for depression and is no longer into sex
Q. just a quick question. my girlfriend is on zoloft for depression and it's really effecting her sex drive. before the medication, our sex was incredible. it was all the time and extremely good! now she's not interested in sex, and when we have it, ...
A. 19 July 2013: We do not know her specific depression or its origin; Manic, Bi-polar or work stress related...? As I see it a prescribed medication for Depression is not the end of treatment; the condition still needs to be managed in how to cope when anxiet... (read in full...)
I'm willing to give them a deposit on a home, but I want them to make some contribution too
Q. Following a divorce over 20 years ago I haven't lived with children who are now both in their mid twenties. Over that time I have maintained a good relationship with them and have always seen and spoken to them regularly. I am now in the position...
A. 17 July 2013: You are wise to ask them to contribute instead of handing over large sums of money that will only make them unappreciative.... Even though your gift will be viewed as conditional, having strings attached or a lesson in life; too bad! That amount of ... (read in full...)
Three months and he didn't mention he has kids?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. He is 28 and I am 25. The relationship moved really quickly and I absolutely fell in love with him and him with me. This past weekend, I found out that he has two children he neve...
A. 17 July 2013: “He thought it was unfair to load that much on me so early…” WHICH PART WAS UNFAIR?
W. Him falling in love really quickly after 3 months!?
A. His crazy ex-girlfriend came storming into his bedroom!
R. The EX HAVING A HOUSE KEY!
N. He has 2 c... (read in full...)
Does that sound like he was keen to come and see me?
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted some opinions on my situation. About three weeks ago I hooked up with a guy in a band (they were on tour). He gave me his number and we had been texting back and forth for about two weeks. He's not from my state so I went ...
A. 17 July 2013: Just RELAX and take it easy, not every hook-up has to develop into a romance does it? He’s a free agent as are you to cruise the single scene without turning things into an appointment.
If he rocks up – great, he’s got your number. If he doesn’t,... (read in full...)
His ex intrudes and I take my anger out on him
Q. We've been dating for 2 years now. things are great between us. We both have a kid of each from previous marriage and both kids are all grown (counting the days to send them off to college lol). Lately, I've been having some issue and I am having ...
A. 16 July 2013: It could be you have a ‘slight’ Passive Aggressive tendency running through your veins that may need to be looked at before removing yourself from the relationship? I suggest having a look at this P.A. behaviour on the Internet as it may explain a... (read in full...)
He is making me pay for having a higher IQ than him!
Q. Dear Cupid I have a weird problem. I am with my current bf for 3 years who is kind of narcissist. Our sex life is great, i am kind of emotionally dependent on him, but the main problem is, he doesn't like the fact that i am smarter than him...
A. 15 July 2013: IQ – Intelligent Quota extracts used; measures a person's general intellectual ability to understand ideas, also measures how well we process information, it measures how well we process information, particularly our ability to store and retrieve ... (read in full...)
I always cheat on my wife, how can I stop this bad behavior?
Q. dear cupid I am a male aged 35, I am married with 2 kids with my wife, and I has another dougther with my Ex, of which we parted ways 12 years back. I married my wife 9 years back. Here is my problem. I has never be faithful in my marriage, I ...
A. 12 July 2013: Perhaps you are best not to have a wife and be single, since you ‘always’ end up cheating every 3 months? Your options are to get medically tested for disease, tie a knot in it, Therapy, Salvation and or a Divorce! It’s surprising you only account... (read in full...)
Do you think if you are on the fence about having kids then you shouldn't have them?
Q. I am 31. When I think of my future as a childless person I feel an immense feeling of relief and excitement. But, I like kids. The thought of having one with me 24/7 makes me feel heavy and closed in. I am also well aware that parenting NEVER ends. ...
A. 12 July 2013: In the absence of children you are at liberty to fulfil your life as you please… At the end of the day one can either find themselves having contentment or feeling discontent when they later reflect on their life achievements? For me, I wonder whi... (read in full...)
If your partner has an emergency and you share a lease, would you charge them for rent?
Q. My live in boyfriend and me got an apartment in march I paid the first month and him the deposit, a month into the lease I had to leave town because of a medical emergency where my sister's heart condition became worse and she needed surgery. Since ...
A. 12 July 2013: Yeah, I got pissed too when my significant household contributions used to get belittled… If I were to take away the lounge, dinning, bedroom furniture and all the other chattels; all he’d have is the flippin’ floor to sit on! I won’t mention the ... (read in full...)
My b/f only wants to talk when things are good
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years talks to me only when im happy and hv no problems @ work or anywhere else. He stops talking and avoids me when i have problems. I am not a complainer but once in a while i want someone atleast to listen to my problems. ...
A. 11 July 2013: At the moment he’s distracted with some business but the fact is; “he stops talking and avoids you” whenever ‘you’ have a problem. Now for the sake of argument you’re not a complainer as you say, so I’d start to think this guy is emotionally inept ... (read in full...)
How can I get my son's father to see him more often??
Q. I've been practically begging my son's father to see him more often/call/anything-to no avail. He treats me like I'm nagging and then accuses me of making it sound like he doesn't love or care about his son. He sees him about twice a month. We...
A. 11 July 2013: Perhaps when your 2 year old son is out of nappies and talking more, his Dad might eventually come round to see him more often? Some Dad’s can’t handle the nappy stage or toilet training stage and in amongst other reasons they are clueless how to ... (read in full...)
How do I tactfully find out why she didn't invite my longterm boyfriend to her wedding?
Q. One of my friends from school is getting married, and though she's spent most of the last 2 years overseas, we are still relatively close friends. I was so excited when she asked me and my best friend to be bridesmaids! When the invitation came ...
A. 10 July 2013: You’re finding out tactfully by asking us here :) For me, it’s a matter of etiquette whom one invites to a Party of any description. If there’s to be a query it’s always best to bring it up there and then, never after the event has been and gone. ... (read in full...)
I resent my boyfriend for what he said and I don't feel as if he should "benefit" from the relationship in that case!
Q. Hi everyone. My question is about my boyfriend of 3 years, he is 8 years older and has 2 kids. He does not want more and told me he would never have chidren with me. I was not sure what I wanted, but have now decided I don't want to have kids. So ...
A. 9 July 2013: Imagine if you will; taking finances out of the equation, a partner with 2 kids, who does want more children and definitely would like them with you… What would your decision be then? I feel that some decisions we make are greatly influenc... (read in full...)
Five dates and his profile's still active? Should I move on?
Q. I met this guy online on an online dating site. After writing to each other for two days, we decided to meet. I really like him and we went on our fifth date last weekend. It has been four weeks since we started meeting each other. He has ne...
A. 8 July 2013: (This seems to be the latest question on DC.) After 1 month or 2 years some guys still have their profile active and check messages… But what do you make of a guy you just met who keeps his profile active? For me; he’s still shopping around an... (read in full...)
Just discovered my live-in boyfriend of two years is checking out match.com profiles
Q. I am not sure how to react to all of this. I have a boyfriend who I have been dating for 2 years. We have lived together for over a year now. He has been a great guy and I never suspected he would cheat on me or betray me. I was married for 13 years ...
A. 8 July 2013: Personally I see no legitimate reason why one would have an ‘active’ profile when they’re living with someone. What does it matter when it was created; it was active and he is actively participating!? It’s just another sign of the times; some have ... (read in full...)
After first time sex that I thought we both enjoyed, the next morning he tells me my behind smells!
Q. Ok so I started seeing this guy and we dig each other. The other night we had sex for the first time and everything was going well.... we had amazing sexual chemistry and couldn't keep out hands off each other. Throughout the night he kept telling ...
A. 8 July 2013: His text reflects how totally inappropriate, rude, insensitive and ridiculous he is!
Anyone with half a brain would understand that odours are about within certain positions/conditions… And whilst he may have a sensitive nose and you’re extr... (read in full...)
Girlfriend knew she had STD and still had unprotected sex with me. I found out from seeing her medication!
Q. I found out about a week ago that my live in GF has an STD. She did not tell me, I found out. I found medication that she's taking, that she never told me about. I did confront her. Naturally a fight ensued, and the house is tense now. My quest...
A. 8 July 2013: Be that you’re certain this medication is for an STD and not a medical condition, I would hope that you be forthcoming with the reason why you broke up with your live in girlfriend, if you intend on finding someone new? If you decide to stay w... (read in full...)
Would you change your religion for love?
Q. Ok,this is probably not the smartest question, having been spurred by the vision of a Sex and the City rerun, but I'd be curious to know the opinion of my esteemed DC colleagues and readers : would you change religion for love ? why, or why not ...
A. 7 July 2013: No matter what Cloak of Faith, Religion or belief system I choose to wear – or subscribe too in today’s numerous cultural faiths; the one entity I believe in or convert to; HE being God, Jehovah, Lord, Elohim, Allah, Buddha, Krishna will be the only ... (read in full...)
Should I be glad to have a good friend as a partner but not a lover?
Q. I feel so sad. I feel like I lost something. My partner of 4 yrs just does not make love to me anymore. He says it hurts him when he tries but does not bother or care about my needs. He went to Dr and said he can't take pills because of side ...
A. 5 July 2013: It sounds very convenient of him to blame you for his lack of talent/interest etc. under the sheets. Since when did he think you were born yesterday when he even admits to being ‘no go’? Sure enough you’re going to eventually grow resentful of him... (read in full...)
He does not trust me and always accuses me of cheating! And advice on how to change this pls?
Q. Hey guys, so my boyfriend of about almost two years and I for the most part do pretty great. The problem is he has had a pretty bad experience with one of his ex girlfiends cheating on him now he is almost always accusing me of cheating when I'm not ...
A. 5 July 2013: Because of HIS bad experience he chooses to blame, punish and accuse you of the same; as he has made up his mind that; “all girls always cheat.” Rather than seeing himself as having the problem, it’s easier for him to buddle all girls, you included ... (read in full...)
Bossy & emotional mother in law!
Q. I dated my husband for 6 years my mother in law was not that bad until we got married 3 years ago she changed to this emotional, bossy woman...she alwyas call my hudband "baby" even tough my husband told her not to...she told my husband to answer ...
A. 3 July 2013: There's an old saying, "A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life". I think you’re Mother-In-Law may have this the wrong way round!? Either way, her son is a gift as are your twins to you no matter how old u... (read in full...)
My boyfriend still lives with his parents and I wonder if he'll ever grow up.
Q. So...I have been dating a guy for going on 2 years. He has lived at home the entire time. He has zero privacy as his bedroom is next to his moms. His dad basically lives in the basement. His dad has a bedroom and living room and bathroom down ...
A. 2 July 2013: # The Addams Family Theme Song :)
They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky
They're all together ooky, the Bizarre-O Family
Their house you never been in, he keeps you away from seein ‘em
They’ll all together a drea-um, the Bizar... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I'm spoiling my husband.
Q. Dear cupid My friend Debbie moved an hour and a half away a few years ago so we don't get to see each other as often as we use to. Debbie wants me to come and spent a weekend with her but my husband feels like why i cant just go and return ho...
A. 1 July 2013: Please assure your husband that some of us women need more than a day to catch up on gossip; and he will be perfectly fine to look after the house and or children for one night. I believe this will also give him time to appreciate you in your ... (read in full...)
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