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Gender dysmorphic at 29 and I don't know what to do anymore.....
Q. I'm gender dysmorphic I guess I just think I tick more feminine boxes. I'm 29, 6 foot 1, wide shouldered, deep voiced. People assume I am hard and it's a facade I've become very good at faking. I'm soft as shit and I feel bad when I squash a snail...
A. 14 June 2011: So... going back to the therapist issue(s). You DO realize that in order to get the surgery that you have to go through therapy as well - at least here in the U.S. you do. I'm pretty sure it's a fairly universal requirement for such cases. I... (read in full...)
Am I gay?
Q. When i masturbate and do this to gay porn, it seems to turn me on so much more and my orgasm would be a lot better and more "pumpy" than when i do it to heterosexual porn. Does this mean i'm gay? I have a girlfriend and she turns me on perfectly ...
A. 12 June 2011: At best I say you might be BI sexual... but you never really KNOW for sure until you've had sex with a guy.... (read in full...)
Is it understandable that I'm freaking out at my boyfriend? He went naked in view of her
Q. Ok, I need to know if I should be mad about this. Me and my boyfriend live with his best friend who is a female. Last night we were playing around and he had just gotten out of the shower when he went to tell our roomate something (still. in his ...
A. 12 June 2011: If she didn't scream or anything like that... I wouldn't worry about it.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my college room mates that I am gay?
Q. Ok, So Here I come again for some advice. Ok, So I'm 19 yrs old, a gay guy: I'm going to be attending college this fall. And well, I may be living on campus. But I dont know what to expect from all of this, since this is going to be the 1st time...
A. 10 June 2011: It might be worth checking with the housing office to find out if they have one or more of these 'apartment' areas for gay/bi students. Although that in and of itself presents a whole lot of problems as well.
If it was me, I wouldn't say anything... (read in full...)
Gender dysmorphic at 29 and I don't know what to do anymore.....
Q. I'm gender dysmorphic I guess I just think I tick more feminine boxes. I'm 29, 6 foot 1, wide shouldered, deep voiced. People assume I am hard and it's a facade I've become very good at faking. I'm soft as shit and I feel bad when I squash a snail...
A. 10 June 2011: Have you spoken to a therapist about this? MANY men like to just dress up and don't want to do the whole transition. On the other hand if you FELL like you are truly a WOMAN trapped in a mans body then you're leaning more towards sexual ... (read in full...)
Is he gay, confused or straight?
Q. Okay so I meant this guy through a friend of mine and ever since then we do everything together. We go to parties, and we just spend a lot of time together and I have started to fall for him because he would always tell me I love you or act really ...
A. 10 June 2011: MANY who aren't ready to come out are of this type. They say they are straight and you just KNOW they are gay. Chances are high that he is at least BI, if not totally gay. Just be patient if you can... and as the previous poster states... be ... (read in full...)
Questions about sex......does this mean he is getting bored of me?
Q. A few questions about men and sex: 1. My partners sometimes produces a lot of pre-cum, sometimes none or very little during foreplay. If there is little or no pre-cum does that mean he is not as excited? 2. My partners ejaculation is not over...
A. 9 June 2011: Does it mean he's not interested? NO! Not at all. Sometimes I leak like a faucet. Other times you couldn't squeeze anything from the turnip. don't worry about it. Additionally... some guys are SHOOTERS... and some are dribblers (occas... (read in full...)
I broke my partner's sim card because of this young girl who texts him, do you think I need help?
Q. I feel guilty and bad...last night after being so fed up of this young girl texting my partner I broke his Sim card on his phone. I know that he dosen't see her in a sexual way, and that he is just being nice, but she bugs the hell out of me by ...
A. 9 June 2011: Vandalism isn't going to solve the problem he'll just get a new sim card for the same phone number. So although it might have FELT satisfying at the time it doesn't solve the problem.
If he's already asked her to stop texting and she continue... (read in full...)
I'm 18, am I bisexual?
Q. I'm 18, and find myself attracted to both boys and girls my own age. I have been in a serious relationship with a girl in my year at college, and now have my eyes set on another girl. But I check out guys as well. I masturbate over them and ...
A. 9 June 2011: Only you truly know if you are bi-sexual. But from what you've written... I'd say so you probably are... especially if you are fantasizing about guys. I think you'll find that even though you currently don't have sexual attractions for guys... ... (read in full...)
I think my parents already know I'm gay but I'm not sure, how do I approach them about this?
Q. I'm a 15 year old, male, homosexual and I'm still in the closet. Here lately I feel this erg to come out to my parents but yet haven't because I fear how they will react. I love my parents dearly but honestly we have never been close and they are ...
A. 8 June 2011: If you REALLY feel that you need to come out to your parent(s). It sounds like you should NOT tell your father. Instead... talk to your mother about it. She sounds like the more rational/loving one. If you're testing the waters - so to speak - ... (read in full...)
Issues with confidence, and living in a small town
Q. Where do I start? I'm 21 and bi but I'm more into men and apart from a one night stand three years ago, I've been single since I was 16. I'm open about my sexuality and pretty much everybody local to me knows that I'm bi, so awareness isn't a ...
A. 7 June 2011: Since you are in a small town I think... that you're gonna find the best resources are on-line. Trust me, you can meet your partner that way - I did. Signup to sites that cater to bears... as well as those that are geared towards what you are ... (read in full...)
Suffering from performance issues and low self-esteem...
Q. I'm a 22 year old male from TX. I've had relationships with women in the past, but never went past kissing, as pathetic as that sounds. People are trying to break me and say I'm gay. I admit, I am aware I do have an attraction for men, but I can't ...
A. 6 June 2011: This is not intended to be mean, rude, cruel or anything like that... if you've been depressed for a while and you're suffering from anxiety related issues, both sexual and emotional... I'd recommend going to see a therapist, one that might even ... (read in full...)
Could my environment make me gay??
Q. i am 16 years old, when i was 13, i liked girls very much, i imagined sexual fantasy with girls. but now, after i entrance to high school, high school for men, just men, in this school there are no girls.. i start imagine sexual fantasy with boy. i ...
A. 2 June 2011: OK, just BEING around guys doesn't MAKE you gay. I disagree with your environmental theory/belief because if that were the case, then everyone who went to an single-sex school would be gay. You either ARE or ARE NOT regardless of what 'causes' ... (read in full...)
Is there any point in telling my dad that I'm gay?
Q. My question is... Is there any point in telling my dad I'm gay? I have been out to my mum and friends for a long time now and I'm happy but I still feel like I'm hiding, my dad moved away before I was born and left my mum, he has had two other kids ...
A. 2 June 2011: How often do you see him? Seems a little strange that he left your mom before you were born... and has done the same to other women/children. Sounds like he's very commit-phobic if you ask me. Why do you feel that he needs to know? Have you ... (read in full...)
Not sure whether my best friend if giving off signals
Q. Hi all, i have one of the weirdest questions in the world lol. i am gay and my straight best friend is confusing the hell out of me. Basically I'm not out yet but I'm 99% sure he knows i am gay, and i have no idea if hes giving off signals. ...
A. 18 May 2011: There are MANY MANY gay men... who get married, have kids... and then finally ruin everything cause they can no longer live a lie... or they get caught (ie in bathroom stalls, etc).
I think, like the others below, that he probably IS gay a 'maski... (read in full...)
Make a move or stay away?
Q. There's this one guy at my school and he said he loved me but he's 3-4 years younger than me (he's 15-16 and I'm 19). I love him as well (I'm a boy). He told me he was gay so what do I do here? Make a move with him or just stay away?...
A. 4 April 2011: Well... there could be some legal ramifications (with the age difference - him being 'under age' and all). However, since I'm not a legal expert in the UK I'll just let you decide on whether it's ok legally for you to be with him.
Now... that sai... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with same-sex interactions!
Q. Why am i so obsessed with girl on girl, I've spoken to my friends and they said they're not, but I'm attracted to anyone I know that's bi, any celbs that are bi or lesbian, anything to do lesbians, any also, anything to do with men being gay, like ...
A. 23 March 2011: Opposites attract I suppose. It could be the taboo. I dunno. Why were you excited that your friend was gay? I mean was there something factual that you wanted to know that you thought only a gay person could tell you have to talked to him ab... (read in full...)
Am I being used as a rebound?
Q. Ok I have asked for help regarding to this matter before, and here I am again asking for some help. I just want to know if I'm being used. Ok for those who didnt saw my last questions, the things is this I met a guy online and we have been going on ...
A. 21 March 2011: I think you need to move on. Sounds like he's not ready for a relationship yet... and that you are definitely being used as the 'rebound guy'.
... (read in full...)
I want to talk to him to test the waters, how do I go about doing this?
Q. ok, so there's this guy i have a crush on, he's a sophomore i'm a freshmen, we have like 10-15ish mutual friends (real life not facebook), but we've never like really talked or been introduced or anything. he may or may not know who i am, i dont ...
A. 17 March 2011: The way you get to the point of being able to 'test the waters' so to speak is get to know the person (fairly intimately). To do so you first have to get introduced or talk to him during some common activity. You have to find out what you two have ... (read in full...)
My friend told me he likes, but I didn't realize I was gay until he got a girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. Ok so this may be a little long so please bear with me. I've known this guy (I'll call him C) for a long time. In the fall of 2009, he told me that he is bisexual. I of course didn't have any problem with that. After he told me, I began to see ...
A. 8 March 2011: Both of the posters below have good input... but here's an even different approach.
If you like him... Don't 'get in the way', so to speak, of the C & K relationship... but... don't let him go either. Afterall, you deserve affection too. When he... (read in full...)
How can I stop from losing my libido?
Q. Hi, i'm 19 and gay and have been going out with a guy for about a month and we've gotten to the oral stages of sex, and it was all good the first time, but the since then i've been unable to orgasm (he has) and the other night neither of us did, we ...
A. 7 March 2011:
Have you tried doing it in the morning? I find that when I'm more relaxed (from sleep)... and not tired (from doing whatever during the day)... that I'm more horny.
So... try morning sex.... (read in full...)
Is there a way to go straight?
Q. Hi, I'm a 15 year-old homosexual. I was wondering, is there a way to be straight? Or could I be going through some strange phase? if I can't be straight, what's the best way to come out? Just say "I'm gay" out of the blue or start a conversa...
A. 7 March 2011: Well... you're a little young... but... if you're SURE that you're gay then... yer gay and there's nothing really you can do about it. You can try to suppress it, get a girlfriend/wife, but in the long run you'll only end up making yourself and her ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be gay!!
Q. I am a Baptist Christian guy. I know the Bible prohibits homosexuality, or bisexuality etc. But I feel attracted to mens bodies. It's not like I love men. It's lust. And with girls I'm not attracted to their bodies as much but I love them for who ...
A. 26 February 2011: I should pipe in here that you DON'T have to give up your spiritual/religious beliefs. You may need to change churches (i.e. go to a non-baptist church).
Check your local listings for the MCC (Metropolitan Community Church).... (read in full...)
I'm a homosexual acting like I'm heterosexual to be accepted
Q. I am a homosexual male but I am acting as a heterosexual to remain accepted in my society. People around me seem very judgemental and so I am afraid of being judged for my sexual orientation. I have a girlfriend which makes it worse as I don't...
A. 26 February 2011: This question reads just like...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-begin-to-tell-people-that.html
but the poster is older.... (read in full...)
How do I begin to tell people that I think I am gay?
Q. I have a girlfriend and a small selection of friends. I am not sure how to tell them that I think I am gay. I don't feel sexually attracted to any females and I do feel attracted to males, which is what has lead me to believe this. I don't want...
A. 26 February 2011: Well... Even though I think you might be a little young to be sure that you're gay you've obviously made up your mind and I congratulate you on being able to accept yourself to the point that you wish to continue on with the process of coming out by ... (read in full...)
Is my friend bi or gay....and interested in me?
Q. So I think my friend is bi or gay. He always tries to hold my hand and he always puts his arm around me. He hugs me, rubs my back, and touches my face and thighs. Sometimes he will sit on my lap or let me sit on his. At football games, we cuddle ...
A. 24 February 2011: At your age, it's hard to say. But, given all the signals - I'd say he's at least bi, if not fully gay. Many gay guys in rural areas 'hide' by having girl friends, participating in sports, etc so don't let that really be major 'indicators' that ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be gay!!
Q. I am a Baptist Christian guy. I know the Bible prohibits homosexuality, or bisexuality etc. But I feel attracted to mens bodies. It's not like I love men. It's lust. And with girls I'm not attracted to their bodies as much but I love them for who ...
A. 24 February 2011: Sorry to tell you this... but if you're gay there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. You can't 'go straight' any more than you can change your eye color. You CAN practice celibacy but I'll bet that doesn't last long. NO ONE would CHOOSE to be ... (read in full...)
Should I text him first if he doesn't text me?
Q. Ok, So I'm 19 years old and I'm gay. Anyways I'm just in the process of coming out of the closet, most of my close friends, cousins, aunts and uncles know, except my parents, but well I'm planning to do that soon. Anyways, a couple of weeks ag...
A. 23 February 2011: You've already setup a pattern of texting him first thing. To suddenly stop could be a little shocking to him. He might just wonder what's wrong. Don't cut him off entirely or it could have negative ramifications. Cut back to maybe every other ... (read in full...)
Am I gay or............?
Q. not sure how to start this, i cant help chatting to men on gay websites when i am away at work for weeks at a time i have had 1 or 2 sexual encounters with the same sex in the past and want to try it again. i do have a girlfriend and i have been ...
A. 23 February 2011: Being gay myself... I'd say you might be more on the BI side than anything. The only way that you're gonna be absolutely sure whether you're more gay or more straight (google The Kinsey Scale)... is by actually doing the deed. I know it's ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I think I might be gay. Help!
Q. Im 13 and i have a girlfriend but i feel attracted to boys as well. Iv watched normal porn but i watch gay porn as well because i feel like i get more horney over gay porn. I love my girlfriend a lot. But does this make me gay?...
A. 21 February 2011: I'm gay and had several girl friends when I was in high school, a couple which I really emotionally loved... so just because you're dating girls now doesn't mean you're straight.
On the other hadn... looking at gay porn doesn't make you gay eith... (read in full...)
Are my standards too high to get a girlfriend?`
Q. Hello all, I'm a seventeen (Virgin) year old boy. I do want a girlfriend but I'm worried that my standards are too high. I don't believe in ANY sexual contact whatsoever, I wouldn't date a female if she had voluntarily given her virginity away o...
A. 15 February 2011: Personally, I don't think you're gonna find someone who hasn't at least kissed someone else. That, I think, is being a little unrealistic. The other two - no sex, and no smoking can be/is fairly common... up to a certain age.
Google: teen sex... (read in full...)
Issues regarding homosexuality.....any opinions?
Q. i recently encounter some issues regarding homosexualities/gay when talking with a bunch of classmate at lunch, and just wanted some honest opinion especially from gays and lesbians. here's the insight that we chat about: 1) one of my female ...
A. 10 February 2011: Answers:
Q: Are there any female seeking gay best friends in real life?
A: Many women like having male friends who are gay because they know that the gay guy isn't going to become interested in them sexually so they can confide in them about j... (read in full...)
Could my friend be gay too?
Q. Hi, I'm a 15 year old closeted gay, and deathly afraid of anyone finding out. And I was wondering if my friend could also possibly be gay? I know it's a long question and I'm sorry. My friend, "Mike", is 15, nice, makes good grades, an athlete,...
A. 6 February 2011: At you guys age... it's really tough to tell. The whole sports/jock thing is probably more congratulatory in nature. But, just because he's a jock doesn't necessarily make him straight either. I was into sports when I was in high school too. Was ... (read in full...)
How do I tell people I am gay??.... No one knows!!
Q. Im gay and iv always known that but no 1 else does how do i come out????? plz help...
A. 6 February 2011: As Blonde68 suggests... Start with someone, anyone, who you really really trust brother, sister, best friend, parents it doesn't really matter who... it just matters that you trust them. Best friends work really well for this too... but the whole ... (read in full...)
Will he come to me in time?
Q. I have a friend that i love. we're both boys. we're friends. we're both gay, just believe me leave it at that it will help me find a better answer if we leave it at me knowing he's gay. anyways, he's not ready to go out with me (i can tell) even ...
A. 6 February 2011: See... you're making assumptions... about what he might do/say. You say that you know he likes you but you're afraid of rejection - based on your assumptions. Seriously, you don't know what he's going to say/do until you just ask him. I'll bet ... (read in full...)
Will he come to me in time?
Q. I have a friend that i love. we're both boys. we're friends. we're both gay, just believe me leave it at that it will help me find a better answer if we leave it at me knowing he's gay. anyways, he's not ready to go out with me (i can tell) even ...
A. 4 February 2011: Ok, So... You KNOW he's gay. He KNOWS you're interested. Why not just go talk to him, as you suggested?!?! Why do you think he's not ready to go out with you?!?! I don't see a problem here... other than a fear of rejection.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is gay but our relationship is a secret, what should I do?
Q. Hi I'm 14 and i have just got my first boyfriend. He is bi and I am gay. I have already come out to all my friends but he hasn't. I don't want our relationship to be a secret but at the same time I think that we will get a lot of shit when we go ...
A. 3 February 2011: You CAN NOT/SHOULD NOT make that decision for him.
HE has to be the one to do that. If HE'S NOT comfortable with it... then that's just something you are going to have to deal with until such time as he's ready to come out.
DO NOT force ... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but sometimes wonder what would it be like to have sex with a man?
Q. Hay folks, got a little problem and I hear you the people to answer it. Me and my girlfriend are great, we laugh, we have fun, we spend time together, we have sex. Its amazing. But every now and then I find myself wondering what it would b...
A. 30 January 2011: I have a bi friend... who's getting MARRIED. Quite frankly I thought he was more GAY than straight even though he's professed to be more in the middle. Anyway, he brought up a point that I had not previously considered.
You have to be with som... (read in full...)
I've coped a feel twice now!
Q. Oh where to begin, I am at a loss as for what to do. I am a young (17) bisexual male. I have a huge crush on a guy, and to be honest I think there is chance he might be gay/bi too. I am not proud of this next sentence but, when it was really cr...
A. 27 January 2011: You know... you can approach it like this: Um... you know the other day when we were on the bus... I felt your butt, but you didn't seem to be upset with that. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I just find you very attractive/hot -... (read in full...)
He acts like he likes me but always joins in on gay bashing!
Q. Ok, so i'm kinda in a pickle. I'm a 17 year old bi male and there is this friend of mine who I really like. He seems to like me also, but I really am not sure. The problem is that teen guys seem to "gay around" with each other, but this seems like ...
A. 27 January 2011: Participation in the whole homophobia stuff is a form of self protection. It's called deflection. You change the focus to someone else so as not to be identified yourself. I wouldn't take it personally. He's probably just afraid of being ... (read in full...)
Bi-sexual male living in a homophobic area, how do I ask this guy out?
Q. I am bisexual male living in a fairly homophobic area I see openly gay people routinely made fun of, and it outright scares me. I haven't had much luck with girls, and sometimes when there's a guy I fancy, I really want to ask them out, but afraid ...
A. 27 January 2011: There's nothing in the rule books that says you have to be OUT. Especially if you are in an area where it's not really gay friendly. You can still be discreet about relationships - and is probably best to, given your situation.
It's always b... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about him but not sure if he's gay
Q. I'm a 17 Year old male and I am bi. I am absolutely crazy for my best friends younger brother, who is 14. This may sound creepy, but he's not a typical 14 year old, much more mature than average. I have known him for a while and have just gotten ...
A. 23 January 2011: I hate to say this but getting involved with someone that is much younger than you especially as you're approaching 18 only means total heartbreak.
I was TOTALLY in LOVE with someone when I graduated from high school... and then moved away to ... (read in full...)
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