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I'm crazy about him but not sure if he's gay

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Question - (23 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a 17 Year old male and I am bi. I am absolutely crazy for my best friends younger brother, who is 14. This may sound creepy, but he's not a typical 14 year old, much more mature than average. I have known him for a while and have just gotten more and more attracted to him, and honestly I can barely function without being around him. I mean, I feel like we were made for each other. The only problem is that I'm not sure that he is gay. He acts quite homosexual, he dresses pretty trendy, he's not very muscular and he doesn't play sports (although he does love football, but I do too). We have always flirted with each other, u know smiling, flirty remarks, gentle touching. Several times we have even briefly cuddled, and when I have my arm over him and he rests his head on my neck it feels so perfect and I don't ever want the moment to end. We have said I love you to each other several times also, although I don't know how serious he is. He has never vocally denied that he was gay, although I have not asked him. We are both Christians so we automatically have to talk bad about gays in front of his brother, but I don't know how he really feels about the issue. Please help, I don't want a bunch of, "he is too young"'s and all of that, I personally don't care. I need to know if he loves me too.

View related questions: best friend, christian, flirt, I love you

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (23 January 2011):

AvgGuy1 agony auntI hate to say this but getting involved with someone that is much younger than you especially as you're approaching 18 only means total heartbreak.

I was TOTALLY in LOVE with someone when I graduated from high school... and then moved away to college. It tore me apart for about 6 months. I was nearly non-functional.

So... My point isn't so much concerned with the age aspect as the separation aspect once you graduate from high school... and have to leave him behind... what's gonna happen?

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A male reader, supercutie United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2011):

Well the bottom line is he is too young! At 14 he really is still a kid, and is still growing, developing and changing. At that age he is unlikely to know himself if he's gay or not.

Although he may be mature for his age, the difference between a 14 year old and a 17 year old is huge.

Maybe when he's 20 and you're 23 things could be different. But are you going to put you life on hold for 6 years, just in case there is some hope of something more between you?

I would try not to get too close or involved with him, because otherwise you're gonna get hurt.

Maybe he loves you just as a friend. Love can mean many different things to different people.

Try to think of him as just a good friend and nothing more.

Take care

xx

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