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How do I tell people I am gay??.... No one knows!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 9 February 2011)
A male Australia age 30-35, *m undercover writes:

Im gay and iv always known that but no 1 else does how do i come out????? plz help

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A female reader, AgonyAuntiee93 United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2011):

Well, there is nothing wrong with being gay, but tell someone that you know that is gay themself or that you really trust.

Tell you best friend or someone?

Then tell your family... Hopefully they will accept you for wo you are !

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A male reader, phoenix69 Canada +, writes (9 February 2011):

phoenix69 agony auntSo like i was told that when you come out you get a free microwave boy was I ever disapointed. My mother was like I love you but cant except it my father was like hes posessed get him its a sin. If i could do it all over I would not have told them while I was living under their roof.Only you know how your parents will react if you hear your mother whisper there all gonna laugh at you, best wait until you move out Theres no harm in waiting and then you tell them and if they except it perfect if not well they won't be getting a christmas card.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011):

just tell your family and if there love you and care about you they will except it and wont care if your straight or gay x RED LIPZ XX

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A male reader, xxjameswxx United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2011):

xxjameswxx agony auntYou tell people when you are good and ready, and when you're comfortable.

There's no need to rush.

It was 2 years before I told my parents.

If people don't know, wait for them to ask you and then you inform them....

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (6 February 2011):

AvgGuy1 agony auntAs Blonde68 suggests... Start with someone, anyone, who you really really trust brother, sister, best friend, parents it doesn't really matter who... it just matters that you trust them. Best friends work really well for this too... but the whole key to it is trust. You need someone whom you can confide in who you know isn't going to be totally judgemental... and who you know you can confide in in confidence (isn't going to go blabbing to everyone else on the planet).

And it is true. Once you tell ONE person the whole weight of it seems to totally lift. The more people you are then able to tell... the less worried/stressed you feel about it. It basically becomes a non-issue.

And remember...

Those who CARE... probably don't matter. Those who MATTER probably won't care!

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A female reader, Red591 United States +, writes (6 February 2011):

Red591 agony auntWell I think it's like most things. Hard at first but so much better after. U can't live ur life in secret and why should u? Life is so short

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A male reader, rivi United States +, writes (6 February 2011):

Often they kind of 'know' already so you might not be telling them anything new.

If there are gay teen social groups in your area you should check them out and make friends that way.

If no actual groups then maybe online as 2nd best option.

Just live your life as you want to : at some point someone will ask how come you don't have a gf and you could reply honestly.

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A female reader, Blonde68 United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2011):

Blonde68 agony aunt

I have a friend who was in the exact same position as you. He confided in his older sister and she was extremely supportive. Once he had off loaded this onto her, he was able to talk to her openly for a few months, and with her support he felt confident enough to tell the whole family... Now he is in a relationship and extremely happy and the family are happy for him too.

Don't carry this weight on your shoulders... it won't do you any good at all... it is good to talk, and you will feel relieved by it once you have.

Good luck x

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A female reader, Myrrh United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2011):

Myrrh agony auntIf you have a good relationship with your mum or another close family member, trying talking to them about it first. They will be able to help you come out to the rest of your family and be there for you if you need support. Once you have your family onboard things wont feel so overwhelming. Also if you are still in school, the school counsellor will be able to help you with advice and support too. All the best.

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A female reader, lilred112 United States +, writes (6 February 2011):

lilred112 agony auntThis is a very touchy situation... sometimes you just have to show it rather than tell it. If you are and you been in the closet your true friends who really love you will not care. But may feel a certain way about it at the same time. Which cause them to stray away. Well in life some time you just have to start over. From ground up. And if you feel you want to have happiness within urself and love who you are totally then go for it. Don't worry about what any one thinks because in the end its your life you are playing with. You only get 1. So you might as well be happy.

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