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Do my dreams mean I'm gay?
Q. So I've never been in a relationship before. So i really don't know what I am. I'm 15 and I've always had weird feelings.Always felt different. But I have a close friend named Joe. Now since like the new year I've been having weird dreams. Not ...
A. 2 April 2010: At your age... it's really difficult to know if you're gay or straight... until/unless your actually fixating on guys pretty much exclusively.
Personally, I don't think dreams mean much of anything. Some say that they are a manifestation of your ... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend possibly be gay? Or one day come out?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is wonderful. My family loves him and I love his family in return. He is a mommys boy but I understand why. His mom is a very loving older women from italy and Im a lot like her. His dad is really funny and ...
A. 24 March 2010:
OK... I'm gay... and going on what you've written I can tell you your man is 90% STRAIGHT.
The things that you THINK make him seem gay... aren't very good indications of sexual preference... at all... and here's why.
1 - Oral sex. MANY men ... (read in full...)
He broke my heart 2 years ago, we had sex, and now he's awkward around me!
Q. I'm gay and I just had sex with a guy who broke my heart 2 years ago. I used to like this guy a lot after he confessed to me that he's gay. We were friends at first but I did cross the line asking him out but he said he's not looking for dating ...
A. 24 March 2010:
Hmmm... sounds interesting. Sounds like HE just wants to be friends, but when he gets drunk... he wants sex. You on the other hand, sound like you want more than friends and that sex is an added bonus. So, you need to decide if you can live with... (read in full...)
I think I might be gay.
Q. Im 15 and im kinda alone in the world. Im relly scared because.... when i was younger i was always the one who never cared about girls! ever! and when i was 12 i kinda figured out why! Its becaus im gay... I think? well, Am I? I never get sexuly ...
A. 24 March 2010:
There are no set rules that tell you whether you are gay or not (although - being exclusively attracted to guys is probably the most telling). Even being attracted to girls, at some point, doesn't necessarily mean you're straight. I dated girl... (read in full...)
I go on dating sites, but no luck. How can I find a partner?
Q. i am a gay man but i cannot get a partner, i go on chat date sites but no luck, i cannot go up to guys in the street and say i fancy you as they might be affended and punch me, my last partner left soem time ago so how i get a partner?...
A. 23 March 2010:
Gay bars are good places to meet guys - without getting punched (generally).
If that's not available... you need develop a circle of friends. Those friends will know people... who know people... who know people. You'll eventually meet someone ... (read in full...)
Is race REALLY still an issue for some people in regards to dating and relationships?
Q. I am writing about a controversial topic: race. My inquiry today is in regards to the fact that I find it disturbing that some people still think race is an issue in regards to dating and relationships in today's modern society. Let me expalin my ...
A. 19 March 2010:
How one is RAISED and the surrounding community greatly affect attitudes... in both directions. I too used to live in a town... on a reservation. The town was predominantly white and there were many negative attitudes towards the Native Amer... (read in full...)
Coming out as gay -- by letter?
Q. I'm a gay 19 year old male. I think it's time I came out (I've been certain of my sexuality for 4 years), but don't know how to do it. Do you think it would be OK to come out by letter to my Mum or both my parents, because I don't know how I could...
A. 16 March 2010:
Um... one thing to consider here... is the financial aspect. If your parents are really up tight/religious/gay haters - you know them; we don't - and if your parents are paying for your schooling. Then maybe now is not the best time to tell them... (read in full...)
I'm a mess (gay, straight, virgin, everything)
Q. I am a total mess and at this point I'm question all my feelings, goals and sexuality. I am 30, very handsome, a virgin. I am physically attracted to very good looking guys and for the last few years I had excepted that I'm gay. The problem is, I ...
A. 16 March 2010:
One bit of advice. Just because the package is nice and pretty and shiney on the outside... doesn't mean you'll find the same qualities on the inside. I've met some really 'gorgeous' looking people... that I wouldn't date if they were the last... (read in full...)
Falling for middle aged men.
Q. (by the way I am a teenage boy)Ever since I was little I've been in love with guys (the same gender). It wasn't normal though. It was always guys in their middle ages (30-50) and a few select of them. I liked guys with beards, rugged features, ...
A. 9 March 2010: Married lady nailed it. You're not in love. You have a CRUSH on your math teacher. By the sounds of it... your teacher is STRAIGHT... so sadly, there's DEFINITELY no way you'll even be able to live out our desire to be with him. And if he were ... (read in full...)
My friend's step mother is being abused and she and I have been kissing
Q. Okay this is a hard and kind of confussing situation for me and will take some time to explain... About 5 to 6 months ago i started to hang out with a good friend of mine alit more over at his house(just to let you know im 19). Right off the bat i ...
A. 4 March 2010: My mother died as a result of domestic violence. If you witness it again... CALL THE POLICE! End of discussion. Period.... (read in full...)
I want to divorce my husband and take my son abroad
Q. I want to divorce my husband and move abroad with my son. I know my husband and family will object strongly. Is there any way it is possible? I cant face the possiblity of leaving my son behind. My son is very close to his dad, and i am not doing ...
A. 4 March 2010:
WHY do you want to torture your son in such a manner??? If he's really close to his father, then yanking them apart will be DEVASTATING to him and he MAY end up HATING/RESENTING you for it... to the point that you do irreparable damage.
Wha... (read in full...)
It's getting that I'm scared to have sex in case I hurt them...
Q. I was seeing this girl that I really liked. We tried to have sex one night and it just didn't work. I just couldn't get aroused. I had been seeing her for only a couple of months and it wasn't really such a serious relationship but I really liked ...
A. 4 March 2010:
Why are you talking to your current girlfriend about your ex? I would totally leave that out of the picture. If you are not ready to have sex with your girlfriend... then that's an issue that you have to work out with HER. You just need to get ... (read in full...)
Text kisses!
Q. Is there any difference in someone putting xXx at the end of a text compared to x, or xx or xxx? I just wondered because, well my situation is kinda complicated and this guy never tends to put any kisses on texts ever! But this time after we'd been ...
A. 4 March 2010:
I always thought that X=Hug and O=Kiss.
To ME:
X = Big/Bear hug, x=plain hug,
O=Big/Wet/Sloppy Kiss, o=peck on cheek.
Again... it really just depends on whom you are communicating with.... (read in full...)
Now that it's time for us to meet, he has become distant. Is he trying to give me the brush off?
Q. Hi there, I have been talking to this guy online for five months and we have been talking on the phone and texting for the past couple of months. The time has come for me to meet him and he seems offish now.im traveling from another city to ...
A. 4 March 2010:
If he's still in school... and FINALS or something like that... are underway. He could indeed be too busy at the time. Just keep talking/texting - nothing stalkerish... just your normal frequency. You could add into your texts something like... (read in full...)
I am really interested in cross dressing and having sex with men, but not sure how it will affect me!
Q. I am a normal 20 year old guy and life is going well at the moment. I have one 'problem' though. I have crossdressed from a young age and get a sexual thrill from it. A couple of years ago I started watching gay porn and found myself very aroused ...
A. 4 March 2010:
Actually... there are many straight men that like dressing in women's clothes too... so don't let the fact that you want to wear women's clothes think that that actually affects your sexuality.
It sounds like what it does to you is bring out th... (read in full...)
I'm a gay guy, he flirts with me, how do I tell if he's gay or not?
Q. Theres this boy i really REALLy like,but i can't tell if he's gay or not...we have alot of the same hobbies that a normal straight guy likes to do (Longboard,swim team,etc.)and we also have somewhat the same taste in like music and movies,i ...
A. 4 March 2010:
I read some advice from another 'aunty' here...
WATCH who HE looks at (other than you). It's a dead giveaway. He'll even do it almost involuntarily. You just have to pay attention. DON'T STARE though... you don't want to tip your hand...... (read in full...)
When is it to much masterbation?
Q. This probably a question asked quite a lot, but i cant find any other references to it on the site...my question is that i am a chronic masturbator, I also find it difficult recently to get a proper erection, and don't feel attracted to women, i ...
A. 26 February 2010:
Try it and find out.
Somedays... I'm hornier than hell... and I have to do it two or more times a day. Other times... I can go for several days without it. That's usually followed by the multiple times a day days. It's all just chemistry/ho... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my sexuality since she dumped me!
Q. Hi, i've started to question my sexuality alot. When i was smaller around 6 or 7, i experimented with my cousin and another boy. i also remember seeing a movie where i saw this transexual guy and i was confused.. after all that though, i was ...
A. 25 February 2010:
You MIGHT be bi-sexual. Did you ever think of that? At your age, you're just figuring it out. Don't worry so much... it'll work itself out. Either you'll start having more feelings/attractions towards guys... or you won't. If you DO, don'... (read in full...)
My gay best friend proposed to me! And I want to accept!
Q. My gay best friend just asked me to marry him.... SOBER!! Now, he's a gay man who everyone thinks is straight or bisexual and he can play it straight very well! SoO straight, that he is enlisted in the US Armed Forces! I love him with all my heart...
A. 24 February 2010: On top of what everyone else has stated... you could take an entirely different approach. Get married... with the EXPRESS understanding that you BOTH can and probably will have multiple other partners - bethey emotional, just physical or both. ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to work out if he is gay, can anyone help me?
Q. Hi everybody! I am a gay nineteen year old male, and I have a bit of a mundane problem that happens a lot to gay men. Thus, when I came across this site I saw the perfect opportunity to gain a different perspective other than my own. And possibly...
A. 24 February 2010: MarieClaire has some good ideas... but if you're trying to figure out whether he's really gay or not... don't be so specific. If he's not 'out' or obvious... it might scare him off. I would drill into what he does in his free time, weekends, after ... (read in full...)
Size, growth and virginity?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 and have a 7.5 inch penis with a 5.5 inch girth/circumference. I know there has been a ton of questions like this asked across the web and I know a lot of them are just people trying to get self gratification, but I feel I must ask my ...
A. 24 February 2010:
Actually... you go through TWO growth spurts... one generally between 12 - 18 years old (it varies for each person) and another a few years later. I was a late bloomer (sounds like you are too)... and was very SHORT until I was a Junior in High... (read in full...)
Would it be appropriate to introduce him to some of my friends?
Q. I am in my mid thirties and dating again after divorce. A little on the rusty side when it comes to dating so hope you can help? I am in the early part of a new relationship with a great guy. We have just started spending the night at each others ...
A. 22 February 2010:
1. ABSOLUTELY introduce him to your friends.
2. Find out how HE wants to be introduced, just ask... How should I introduce you to my friends? 'This is the guy I'm (just started) dating'... or 'This is my friend' or ???
... (read in full...)
Followup to my question about my girlfriend's trip to Thailand
Q. This is a follow up question to the one asked previously. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-is-away-in-a-foreign-country-and.html So my gf came back from Thailand and openly admitted to having a couple of Canadian guys (apparently couples...
A. 22 February 2010:
I've always said that Jealousy is an INSECURITY issue. It sounds like you are just jealous. You have to ask yourself why? Is there some reason you really don't TRUST her?
As the first poster responded... she went out/hung out with a fours... (read in full...)
Should I feel so docile on these antidepressants?
Q. Hi ya I wrote on here a while ago asking advice. I now need more advice. I have started taking antidepressant at the recommendation of my doctor. But for the first week and a half i felt like all i could was just think about the problems. Now two ...
A. 22 February 2010: If the side-effects are troubling you, speak with your physician. There are multiple brands on the market each with varying/differing side-effects... which might be more suitable/better for you.
However, this SOUNDS like the standard side-eff... (read in full...)
My boyfriend prefers to spend time with his friends instead of talking out our problems!
Q. my boyfriend is almost perfect and we have great time.. sometimes he is the one how seems to love me more and he treats very nice to me.. BUT when we have a fight he becomes incurious and he seems that he doesn't really cares to work it ...
A. 22 February 2010:
You have to realize... we don't all solve problems in the same manner.
YOU want to sit down and work them out right away.
HE prefers, probably, to think or talk them over with his friends before coming back to you. It could also be tha... (read in full...)
When people are "seeing each other", is there any commitment or is it an open relationship?
Q. When people are "Seeing each other" is there commitment involved or is it more like a open relationship? i dont get it?...
A. 22 February 2010:
Well... generally if someone tells me that... I think that it means that they are in the initial stages of getting serious with someone... and are generally not available or not interested in me.
WHY do you ask this question?... (read in full...)
Is my best friend bi, should I tell him I find him attractive?
Q. I am 17 now and have had this best friend that im very close with. and resently my feelings for him have grown. so i ask him a few simple test questions to see if he might be bi or at least willing to try, and two questions i had asked were: 1. " ...
A. 19 February 2010:
As Wh1t3r4bb1t suggests... if you're really best friends - only you really know whether or not you should really do this. If you truly value him and want to be his friend for a LONG time you need to consider it very carefully. It might comp... (read in full...)
Any advice or info when looking to start dating guys?
Q. Hey guys. I'm a 15 year old guy. And Ever since i was little i always knew i had an interest in guys. And I've just been denying it and hiding it all along. But now it seems that I'm getting more comfortable with it.The thing is I've never really ...
A. 19 February 2010:
Oooh. That's a fairly hard one. I mean for someone your age. If you were in college or something I'd say hit up the College GLBT group (most colleges have one now). Or perhaps a Bar or something. In san Francisco, I know there's a group call... (read in full...)
Is 4 sexual partners a high number for a 21 year old?
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend and we only dated for 2 months and he was basically using me for sex, I posted a question about it a couple hours ago and recieved good respones. My question now is- I am 21 and have had sex with 4 people. Is that a ...
A. 19 February 2010: Four?!?! Are you KIDDING?!?! If you would have said 40 @ 21, then yeah maybe... but FOUR?!?!?
Next Question.... (read in full...)
Tips about sex for a newcomer with a smaller penis?
Q. Hey everyone, I guess you can see from the title, the subject of sex has come up between us, I'm a virgin, she's not, though we both know about each other. I'm kinda worried though that I won't be able to satisfy her 'cause my penis isn't exac...
A. 19 February 2010:
It REALLY doesn't have as much to do with size as you may think. SHE might want someone smaller. You never know. I know some women who've told me that they stopped dating certain guys... just because they were too large. Sounds like you migh... (read in full...)
Is this really American culture? It hurts that he considers what I did in a picture 9 months ago as cheating
Q. Hi dearcupids! You always offer great advice, so here's a question for you. My boyfriend and I recently got into a fight about a picture that was taken of me. Now Im from a different country than him, he's American. In this picture I was at a party ...
A. 19 February 2010: We Americans DO have this thing about physical proximity - in that if you are too close to us and we do not know you quite well it will make us feel uncomfortable. However, that doesn't extend to controlling how close two other people can ... (read in full...)
Is he a pedophile for dating a 13 year old when he was 17?
Q. I am in a relationship with an amazing, mature and positive guy, who is also my age (27 -28 years old). We are inseparable and I feel happy when we are together. When we are apart (we live in different countries) for longer than 3 weeks, say, I ...
A. 9 February 2010:
I just wanna point out the fact that you asked him a question to which, it sounds like, HE was totally honest. Now you are turning it against him? What would you do/have done had he lied to you and you'd found out years from now (like at a high... (read in full...)
I want to please my girlfriend more, should I buy her a vibrator?
Q. Hey, I want to buy my girlfriend a vibrator for this Valentine's Day. I want to please her in different ways; kisses, caressing, massaging her breasts, going down on her, penetration, etc. And, well, now I wanna buy her a vibrator for a change. ...
A. 9 February 2010:
First, make sure SHE is comfortable with the whole idea of getting and using a vibrator. THEN maybe you can take her to a store and ask her to choose one. If you're not comfortable GOING to a store... shop on-line. There are PLENTY of plac... (read in full...)
His parents won't let me see him...
Q. Ok. i have met this guy on the internet because it's really hard to find someone who wants a relationship. well the thing is im 19 and he is 16 and no matter what i do, his parents intervene they say tht he is a minor an ill call the police on you ...
A. 9 February 2010:
Oooh... you should practice EXTREME caution here. Even if you have done NOTHING with him sexually... all the parents have to do is CLAIM something happened and you could find yourself in cuffs NEEDING a lawyer.
If you really want to be with a... (read in full...)
Should I go for it and risk his feelings or should I just stay back?
Q. I have liked this guy since I first moved to my new School and we are both in the same year and even both take geography. I really want to try and ask him out but I'm not sure if he is gay. Now I maybe being a bit stereotypical but he seems ver...
A. 9 February 2010:
WHOA! Slow down. Sounds like you BARELY know the guy. I definitely don't think you should go asking him out. That might freak him out just as much as asking if he's gay. FIRST, get to know him. Find something that he likes to do. What kind... (read in full...)
I'm secretly talking to a guy out of state and my dad saw the phone bill!
Q. Ok.. Where to start. Well first off, Im gay. Noone knows that though. Except one guy that i met on myspace/facebook that lives in a different state. Hes been really great with helping me out when im having "Down" days, but now i have a problem. He ...
A. 9 February 2010: Um... phone numbers are PORTABLE now. Just tell him it's a friend who has moved into town... and has kept his old cell phone number. Now that that's done with... get GoogleVoice and/or SKYPE. If you have an iPhone, you can use GoogleVoice ... (read in full...)
How exactly do I have phone sex?
Q. Okay my problem is my long distance girlfriend and I have been having cybersex for a while now. Well now shes Wanting to move on to Phone sex she says cyber is good and all its just she can't hear my voice she wants to hear my moans as im getting ...
A. 23 January 2010:
Um... you might want to try using Skype. Best of both worlds... and if you have cameras at both ends... all the better.
... (read in full...)
I like this girl but I like her friend too and don't know who to choose.
Q. Hey, I'm 18 and I have been trying to get with this girl at work for almost a year now and its not looking good, she keeps making up excuses but this new guy started and she's obsessed with him! She's on him like a rash non stop. Her friend has also...
A. 23 January 2010: Doesn't sound like girl#1 is interested at all. Go for girl#2. At least she's showing interest in you. You can always find out whether she's really happy with her current boyfriend and if not you're there to take his spot.... (read in full...)
How do I French Kiss?
Q. how does french kissing work?...
A. 23 January 2010:
Simple... start kissing... and then gently swirl your tongue in/out of your partners mouth. That's pretty much it.
I would suggest either brushing your teeth or chewing some gum prior (for both of you) so that you don't have nasty breath/flavo... (read in full...)
Is this behavior the way most gay couples behave? What should I do?
Q. I am a 47 year old male that has been in a gay relationship with my partner for 3 years. A year into our relationship, I discovered he was frequenting video stores, having anonomous sex (he said no penetration, just jerking guys off), meeting ...
A. 23 January 2010:
Doesn't sound like he's the right guy for you. Time to move on.... (read in full...)
Role playing...
Q. can you help us by suggesting role playing ideas! me and my wife are looking for some. some thing that is not off a filthy porn style, but of a nice fantasy....
A. 23 January 2010: You don't have to 'role play' per say if you want to use toys on each other. If you want to play the submissive... you could have her tie you up on the bed... and then she can do whatever she wants to you. Even stopping, leaving the ro... (read in full...)
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