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*rmyMedic agony aunt

*rmyMedic

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*rmyMedic's profile:

I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.

I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.

My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).

When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.

If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex.

Latest articles:

STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...

Why don't boys reply to my texts?

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [36 pages, 1399 answers]

Am I Pregnant or not?

Q.   Right, so i've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for the past 5 weeks on and off. Stupid, i know, but we got lazy with the condoms and haven't been worrying about it. I have never skipped a period in my life and my period was due eight ...

A.   14 May 2009: I still think you should follow the nurses advice, but if it keeps coming up negative you could be that 0.01% or your not pregnant and all these symptoms are down to stress. ... (read in full...)

Broken up because of family/religion but I can't get over him!

Q.   My case might be unique cause I am from a very conservative background. I am a very religious Hindu and i CANNOT go against my parents to marry a guy they disapprove of. But emotions took over me, and i fell in love for a Buddhist guy! He loves me ...

A.   13 May 2009: You are not alone or unique, this is one of the oldest problems in the book - Romeo and Juliet, not religions but the same basic story. Don't let something as silly as religion stand in your way, so what if you believe in different things, ... (read in full...)

Am I Pregnant or not?

Q.   Right, so i've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for the past 5 weeks on and off. Stupid, i know, but we got lazy with the condoms and haven't been worrying about it. I have never skipped a period in my life and my period was due eight ...

A.   13 May 2009: Maybe you should go to your Mum, she'll lecture you, but will also help you. ... (read in full...)

Have I definately lost my virginity and was this actual sex?

Q.   im 15 years old and ive fancied this boy from school for a while now whos 16 but in my year (11). hes fancied me for about a year we talk all the time out of school but hardly ever while we're there. i was a bit scared of asking him out because ...

A.   13 May 2009: 1) Yes - Pretty bad sex, but sex all the same 2) Yes - But not about size but the first time you have ever used those muscles in that way (if you think that's bad wait till you give birth!) You will ache for a couple of days, if it doesn't ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend in the army?

Q.   well i have a problem is about me and my ex-boyfriend. well he is going to graduate this year and im going into my junior year. nd well he had broken up with me bcuz he had to go to the army nd well i dont know, bcuz we still have feelings but im ...

A.   13 May 2009: He doesn't "Have" to join the Army he has chosen to! You won't know the answer to this till you have tried, but in my experience (12 years in the Army) it takes a very special girl to be able to put up with service life! The army isn't just a j... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my second cousin... she's getting married but I promised myself I would tell her

Q.   I know I will be judged for this, and I know that it will be difficult for some to try and think of this in an unbiased manner. But I wish to say in my defense three things: 1.) There is no law against a relationship of this type. 2.) The...

A.   13 May 2009: Never mind the law and the Bible, you are trying to ruin her life because you are selfish! Get over it!... (read in full...)

How do I help my friend clear her name up? They had sex in the school park & everyone is talking about it

Q.   Hello cupids, ok so my friend and her boyfriend (now her ex) has had sex in a school park..so while they were having sex this one girl claimed that she seen them.so now the girl who have seen them been going around our whole school telling ppl what ...

A.   13 May 2009: If she is grown up enough to have sex in public, she is grown up enough to deal with the consequences.... Welcome to the adult world! ... (read in full...)

Is her stomach hurting because she hasn't had sex?

Q.   Hello everyone,okay so my friend is 14 years old and she is has had sex with multiple partners,she has told me she used condoms everytime and her stomach has been hurting lately and she told me she hasnt has sex for a while..could that be the ...

A.   13 May 2009: She needs to speak to a doctor ASAP, she could have anything wrong with her, including pregnancy or STIs(condoms aren't 100% safe)... (read in full...)

Peter Andre and Katie Price breaking up has really upset me. Help!

Q.   I feel seriously pathetic and stupid for asking for adivce on this... but thank you guys for even reading the question. I'm sure all you people in the UK will have heard the news that peter andre and katie price are splitting up? Well it has real...

A.   12 May 2009: Please never pick up a real news paper because if this upsets you, I think you would be very traumatised at what is happening in the rest of the world! ... (read in full...)

Am I Pregnant or not?

Q.   Right, so i've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for the past 5 weeks on and off. Stupid, i know, but we got lazy with the condoms and haven't been worrying about it. I have never skipped a period in my life and my period was due eight ...

A.   12 May 2009: Follow the Nurses advice, I understand it's something your not good at, like the advise to use PROTECTION, but this may come as a surprise.... You DON'T always know best!... (read in full...)

How likely is it that I'm pregnant?

Q.   Hi, my period came today, but I've been worried about pregnancy. I'm on the pill and use condoms, but I heard today about someone who was on the pill and had periods as normal, but discovered at 4 months that she was pregnant. This as a result has ...

A.   12 May 2009: Very VERY unlikely! But if you are still worried do a test. And if you are still paranoid maybe you should stop having sex as (allegedly) only one person has ever been born to a Virgin!... (read in full...)

Would this be considered rape?

Q.   Hi everyone, ok I feel kind of stupid asking this. Ok last week I ended things with my BF of 2 1/2 years. He had become verbally abusive, but always saying the comments were "just joking and you know I don't really mean that". It took me about 6m...

A.   12 May 2009: YES... (read in full...)

Pregnant and craving coffee!

Q.   To all the moms in here.Im 5 months along with my second child and i have been craving coffee really really bad!!! Would decafe be okay everyday?...

A.   12 May 2009: According to most medical experts, the bottom line on drinking coffee during pregnancy is this: pregnant women should reduce their intake of caffeine during pregnancy to about the amount found in 1 to 2 cups of coffee a day. There’s far less res... (read in full...)

Best place to lose your virginity?

Q.   I'm ready, and I'm gonna lose it. The question is where? Ideas anyone? The beach? The woods? Not some sleazy hotel room or my bed. This is the first time you'll always remember. I want to make it memorable in so many different ways, and...

A.   12 May 2009: Where ever you like, just use protection otherwise the next question you'll be asking is "where is the best place to get an abortion" or "Should I have a water birth" and you really don't want to remember it as the time I caught gonorrhoea. Why n... (read in full...)

Frightened of my boyfriend and possibly pregnant

Q.   Hi I am 16years old and my boyfriend is 19. We have been going out for a little over a year a recently he has been getting angry towards me such as when i have been text ed by a friend he will ask me who it is and if i do not say then he will squ...

A.   12 May 2009: Take the test, and don't let him in, tell him you will call the police if he comes near you again, and make sure that if he does try anything that you DO actually call the police and have him arrested!... (read in full...)

If a guy is into you...wouldn't he text you a lot!?

Q.   its been just a week and i have been seein a younger guy (14 years) he is so sweet and attentive when i see him and says he wants to see how things go, but when we r not together he is very quite maybe a couple of texts a day, if a guy is into (like ...

A.   11 May 2009: You may want to read this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-dont-boys-reply-to-my-texts.html... (read in full...)

He hit me several times but I cheated on him....what's worse?

Q.   He hit me several times but I cheated on him once. Whats worse ?? I cheated on him first month we got together and i continued to like the same guy for 3 months while i was with him. He forgave me and we stayed together. We've been together fo...

A.   11 May 2009: You don't need counselling, you need to break up, you are as bad as each other and both need to move on and grow up! "no relationship is perfect i guess." Violence and cheating isn't what is considered "normal" ups and downs, it's not like you... (read in full...)

Which color of Hydrocodone is the weakest?

Q.   Okay me and my mom have looked everywhere and it tells you little things about it but we can't find my question so i hope some of you guys know. So my question is which color in Hydrocodone is the lowest to the strongest? cause i don't want one ...

A.   11 May 2009: The colour doesn't make any difference, as there are many people who make it so they make them in different colours. You must speak with the doctor who can assess your pain and give you the correct dosage, speak to him about your concerns and I'm ... (read in full...)

Got really drunk, don't know if I had sex or not?

Q.   I went to a party and got really drunk. i don't remember what happened. i hooked with my ex-BF who i still really like and people are now telling me i hooked up with his mate, but one guy said that we did more than that i am pretty sure that he ment ...

A.   11 May 2009: Go and see your doctor NOW, tell him what may have happened and he will arrange emergency contraception, and an STI test to make sure you haven't caught anything nasty. And stay off the drink, the last thing you need is to fall pregnant while of... (read in full...)

Hugh, Dan, and Ben. What should I do?

Q.   I went out with Dan from January to March 2009. During this time, Ben tried to rape me. Ben and Dan are friends. When I reported it to the police, Dan ended it. A week afterwards I met Dan's and Ben's friend Hugh. Hugh and me hit it off straight ...

A.   10 May 2009: Do whatever makes you happy!... (read in full...)

No pain, no blood, does that mean my hymen isn't broken?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend had sex last night for the first time. I was a virgin before, but it didn't hurt and didn't bleed. Also, i've masturbated a few times a while ago, and since my boyfriend and i got together he's fingered me a lot of times. but i'...

A.   10 May 2009: No it means your hymen has broken a long time ago, like the first time you did the splits or rode a bike. Don't worry about it, not many virgins actually have an intact hymen in modern society. Because girls are active and don't sit at home kni... (read in full...)

Just another girl to his collection?

Q.   its abit of a long questions but its pretty straight foward ive just added deatil. i had sex with this guy last night after going to the cinema, ive known him for about 5 months and weve been sort of liking each other, well ive liked him alot a...

A.   10 May 2009: Right you have to learn to say NO, you will continue to get walked over by guys if they can take you out, tell you that you look pretty and you will jump into bed with them. Guys don't date girls that are easy to sleep with, and he is a player s... (read in full...)

Is this a sign?

Q.   hi, i'm 15 and i have never been kissed or had a proper boyfriends(well i have only had one none proper boyfriend)and people who are as i would say uglyer than me had all had boyfriends is there some thing wrong with me? i do fancie this guy ...

A.   10 May 2009: Boys are often scared off by pretty girls, they feel intimidated and scared of rejection. I think this is probably what is going on here, if you like a guy try flirting with him or just ask him out. You are only young yet so don't stress abo... (read in full...)

How do you know when you meet your soul mate?

Q.   How do you know when you meet your soul mate? Can any one give me some advice....

A.   10 May 2009: You won't like this answer: You just know, everyone is different but you'll know when you fine the one.... (read in full...)

Who's the Daddy

Q.   Okay, this is embarrassing and long, so please bear with me. My last period started on March 29. On April 11, I had sex with my ex. We did it for about ten minutes without a condom, but then I came to my senses and made him put on one. However, he ...

A.   10 May 2009: I'd bet it is your ex's baby, if you have fallen pregnant to his pre-cum before and were not fully protected with him, well the odds do lean that way.... (read in full...)

Why do I care so much about what other people think of me?

Q.   Well I have gotten over this girl I liked for a long time. Right now I actually hate her, because of all the mean things she did to me. It was hard, but I had to do it. I dont even look at her anymore, I want her to know I don't like her. Quite ...

A.   10 May 2009: This is all part of the breaking up process, give it time and you will feel less bitter. The reason you care about what people think is, pride, and the off chance that one day you may try to date one of these "popular" girls and you don't wa... (read in full...)

Am I really that intolerant?

Q.   I have been accused by a friend of being "fatphobic". This is something that's really been bothering me. I consider myself a really tolerant person, and usually dont arrive at an opinion unless I have thought it through very thoroughly, so this ...

A.   10 May 2009: I understand where you are coming from, in the NHS we have special ambulances to move these obese people to hospital and have stretchers with wings to allow for the extra flab. There is often no excuse for that, and don't get me started on fat c... (read in full...)

Pains in chest when I breath

Q.   Last Wednesdya I began getting pains in my chest when I breath. Its been almost a week of pain and my parents finally might take me to the doctors but they're afraid that I go and theres nothing wrong with me. Should I still go? The pain in my ribs ...

A.   10 May 2009: Any chest pain needs to be checked out by a Doctor, there is SO much that can go wrong in there that ignoring it is a very dangerous option!... (read in full...)

How effective is the morning after pill?

Q.   THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. Last night my boyfriend was at a party and got drunk. I was in my house with my friend. [i live with my boyfriend.] My friend and I had some alcohol too, so i was drunk. My friend left when my boyfriend got home. W...

A.   10 May 2009: The morning after pill, is about 90% effective, where as condoms are about 96% effective, please in future make sure he uses condoms and get yourself on some form of birth control. I won't start on under age drinking because I'm sure you have lea... (read in full...)

My friend shows no interest when I go on about the teacher I fancy. Why?

Q.   hi i really need some help. i really really REALLY fancy this guy that works at my school. He's a helper for kids that find it hard to learn. He isn't that old. He is in his early twenties. Everytime i see him i feel like i am going really red and ...

A.   10 May 2009: She's not interested because you keep going on about a guy that you can't and never will have, she's bored of your silly crush!... (read in full...)

Last night I had sex and we forgot to use protection, what do I do?

Q.   last night i had sex with my boy friend. and well let's just say it wasn't that great and the worst part about it was we forgot to use protection of any kind what do i do if i get pregnant i will be in so much trouble i am only a freshman i know i ...

A.   9 May 2009: Morning after pill costs £20 from any chemist including Tescos, while you are there buy some condoms! and read this when you get homehttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/sti-std-what-are-they-and-how-do.html... (read in full...)

My natural curly hair becomes floppy when I shampoo. Any suggestions?

Q.   ok first things first... this is NOT a relationship/sex question, but i hope that i can get some advice up in this joint, lol. ok it's simple: i have naturally curly wavy hair and everytime i shampoo, the curls and waviness go away and the result is ...

A.   9 May 2009: Speak to your hair dresser/stylist... (read in full...)

STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?

Q.   STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...

A.   9 May 2009: A couple more points to add to this post: - Pubic lice (Crabs) is almost extinct in the UK as so many people shave their pubic hair. - STIs can be caught through open wounds and mucous membranes (mouth, eyes, nose, anywhere moist) so make s... (read in full...)

Can you help me with some sex education about contraception?

Q.   hey, i have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and i love him loads, we have had sex without condoms and also with them. we started having sex 2 months into the relationship and have used a condom like 10 times, we seen to have sex after i have ...

A.   9 May 2009: Anonymous: Technically condoms don't protect against all STIs (I am splitting hairs here but I think it's important), you can still get pubic lice (although uncommon in the UK now as most sexually adventurous people shave down there), occasionally ... (read in full...)

I'm just wondering :)

Q.   Ookay.So i was just wondering how you get std and all that other kind of contagious stuff that you can get from sexual contact. Thank you....

A.   9 May 2009: Yes, it would so either he has to wear a condom or you should put plasters over your cuts or wear rubber gloves! http://www.dearcupid.org/question/sti-std-what-are-they-and-how-do.html... (read in full...)

Can you help me with some sex education about contraception?

Q.   hey, i have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and i love him loads, we have had sex without condoms and also with them. we started having sex 2 months into the relationship and have used a condom like 10 times, we seen to have sex after i have ...

A.   8 May 2009: What you are doing is very dangerous, if he came before having sex with you, there WILL be sperm in his pre-cum and you CAN get pregnant! Look up your local brook advisory centre: http://www.brook.org.uk/content/Default.asp go and see them wit... (read in full...)

Married and need good tips for giving head.

Q.   hi to all I'd like a few tips please, im a happily married 28 year old with a great sex life but im rubbish at giving head and really want him to like it and ask for more. Any tips or hints please? thanks...

A.   6 May 2009: sorry xxxnyria, you are being a girl about this, I wouldn't marry anyone if they were rubbish in bed or a bad kisser. The person you marry is the person that is perfect for you in every way! How many kids say they are "in love" on this site? Bu... (read in full...)

Even though the condom didn't break and the test came out negative, could I be pregnant?

Q.   I had sex for the very first time just over 2 weeks ago. I was 9 days into my cycle. We used an extra safe condom, which we checked after hadnt split and we also tried putting water into it and seeing if any leaked out, which it didnt showing there ...

A.   5 May 2009: You probably are not pregnant, but you are being so paranoid suggests that you aren't ready for dealing with pregnancy, and therefore shouldn't even be having sex. Your symptoms could just as easily be stress, but go to a family planning clinic, ... (read in full...)

I'f I'm pregnant he could get into trouble with the law... Help!

Q.   I'm 16 years old. well ive found myself kind of being a little bit slutty i guess you could say. i go out and party and just try to have fun. well i met this guy. Hes 18. And going into the Army. I dont believe age matters. But in the laws eyes ...

A.   5 May 2009: If you were so worried you wouldn't have had unprotected sex would you! This is why age does matter, because if you were older and more mature you wouldn't be in this predicament. You need to go and see your doctor and find out if you are pregnant... (read in full...)

Sex problems and diabetes - any advice?

Q.   I am diabetic and I have problems in the bedroom dept. I can get aroused very easily but when it comes to sex I only like to do it really fast cause if I try to go slowly, I lose the feeling and want to stop. I take a long time to finish normally as ...

A.   5 May 2009: Ok, satindesire is right we are not doctors, and you should seek medical advice, but, I will stick my neck out here a bit as most of this information is available on most diabetes help websites: The reason you can't maintain an erection is due t... (read in full...)

Married and need good tips for giving head.

Q.   hi to all I'd like a few tips please, im a happily married 28 year old with a great sex life but im rubbish at giving head and really want him to like it and ask for more. Any tips or hints please? thanks...

A.   4 May 2009: He married you, you really can't be that bad!... (read in full...)

Help...I had unprotected sex and missed a period!

Q.   hey every1 i need sum advice urgently...so im only 13 and im goin out with a guy who is 2 years older than me. my boyfrend started pressuring me into sex but i told him no and i kept saying no and now he has finally understood my answer. But anyway ...

A.   4 May 2009: You need to see a doctor and get tested!... (read in full...)

STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?

Q.   STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...

A.   1 May 2009: Please feel free to link this, that is the reason I wrote it in the first place. I really feel there isn't enough education at any level on this kind of thing.... (read in full...)

I'm just wondering :)

Q.   Ookay.So i was just wondering how you get std and all that other kind of contagious stuff that you can get from sexual contact. Thank you....

A.   16 April 2009: If your partner has an infection the micro-organisms (GERMS) can cross between them and you, by bodily fluids, touch and sharing sex toys etc. There is ways of preventing STIs like any disease and that is to break the chain of infection - Carri... (read in full...)

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