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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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Signs of pregnancy?
Q. I had sex with my bf a couple of weeks ago. We used protection but we have used protection in the past and I still fell pregnant. I had an abortion but that is a different story. I had what a believed to be my period last week but it was ligher and ...
A. 18 April 2009: Your friend is right.
Do you want a baby? If so wait and see, if you don't go and see a Doctor, and find out what your options are.
Seriously SPEAK TO A DOCTOR that is what they get paid far too much money for.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my dad trust me?
Q. Hi so i'm 20 years old still a virgin and never been kissed. i mean i've had boyfriends but never felt comfortable in kissing them i just want that perfect one so i am waiting for the right one i guess. but my problem is my dad, i still liv...
A. 18 April 2009: This is one of those Dad things I'm guessing you are youngest child, so just you and your sister?
She may only be 2 years older than you but you are going to be Daddy's little girl, I think you need to point out that you are over 18 and you are ... (read in full...)
Handsome man in nightclub alone intimidates a woman?
Q. I am in a bit of a pickle.... I am a 26 year old guy. I have been told I am very attractive by many females, and I have noticed a lot of woman looking at me.....in streets, at clubs etc. However I am totally clueless and I may be misinter...
A. 18 April 2009: OK I can understand where you are coming from.
I'll let you in to a secret not many of us men know... Girls have a wider peripheral vision than us so we have to stare at a girl to see her, but as they have a wider peripheral vision they can watc... (read in full...)
Opinions please. Do I stand a chance with this girl?
Q. Ok I'll try n keep this short! Basically there's this girl that i like, and im trying to work out if maybe she feels the same. She knows im a lesbian. When we have sleepovers we cuddle up like a normal couple wuld, like 'spooning' and falling ...
A. 18 April 2009: Ask her out and see what she says, it sounds like she is into you.... (read in full...)
Work troubles
Q. Hello. Hope you can help me. This is not a relationship question really, more of a work related problem. I have this female manager and for four years we have never seen eye to eye. I know it is because i am always very quiet and shy when s...
A. 18 April 2009: work related problems are very hard to sort out as very job has it's own hierarchy and ways to deal with your superiors.
But in your case if you feel that these rumours have affected your professional relationship, ask her for an appraisal, this... (read in full...)
What are some signs a guy is thinking of you??
Q. well i know when a guy calls you thats a sign hes thinking of you. but what are some other signs that hes thinking of you. whithout asking him if hes thinking of you.. xD...
A. 18 April 2009: There is no way of telling and asking him "what are you thinking about?", isn't going to get you the answer you want to hear.
Your man thinks about you most of the time and if he calls you often, then he really likes you. But we men do think ab... (read in full...)
So... are we girlfriend and boyfriend yet?...
Q. I am kind of slow about relationships so I need people to clearly tell me what is going on but this question is way too stupid so I don't wanna ask my partner. Today, we had a talk about where we were. He told me "yes, we are seeing each other" a...
A. 18 April 2009: I think you may have to ask him again, he realises that you are a bit slow on the uptake of these things, so he'll understand if you ask him, but to be honest I don't get the American system of dating and bases and being exclusive etc.... (read in full...)
Signs of pregnancy?
Q. I had sex with my bf a couple of weeks ago. We used protection but we have used protection in the past and I still fell pregnant. I had an abortion but that is a different story. I had what a believed to be my period last week but it was ligher and ...
A. 18 April 2009: To be honest the gut feeling you are getting is probably more accurate than any test, especially as you have been pregnant in the past. I know many women who have said they are pregnant before taking a test, they just know. (strange creatures these ... (read in full...)
Getting through depression alone
Q. how do u get thru depression by yourself? my friends dont care cuz they cant see it and when i tell them they still seem to not care. im going thru a break-up of my first love. and they say that its hard to get over your first love and it is. help....
A. 18 April 2009: Depression is a horrible illness and you need to get professional help, your friends will find it very hard to help you with this as they don't understand how this illness affects you.
They will find that you can come across as self-obs... (read in full...)
Stuck in a depressing rut, please help!
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I spend ...
A. 18 April 2009: Either you are actually a teenager, with died floppy hair who enjoys listening to Cradle of filth, or you're a seriously ill adult who needs help.... Please get professional help, we do understand you, you just are not willing to take advice, what ... (read in full...)
I think I told him "I love you" too soon...
Q. I'm currently going out with a boy and we have been together for two months now, although we have been talking for about six months. I really like him now and I stupidly told him that I love him. He said it's a bit too soon to say that sort of ...
A. 18 April 2009: Just carry on as normal, boys are very scared of that phrase as it carries so much meaning, we tend to think it's an overused phrase that is very powerful and said at the wrong time or too often it looses meaning.
Boys don't handle emotiona... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my b/f is getting aroused?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have made out quite a few times. At first, I wasnt sure if he was getting "excited". Then, last week we were kissing and I was laying next to him and my curiousity grew. I've read some other sights for tell-tell signs that he ...
A. 18 April 2009: Just the Tent sweetheart we're not girls, our pupils don't do funny things we don't blush, we get an erection, simple as that. ... (read in full...)
Stuck in a depressing rut, please help!
Q. I am very lonely, I have no friends, no boyfriend, there is nowhere to go in town, its living here. Nobody understands my loneliness and my sadness. I cry because I am so lonely and upset. There is nothing I can do about it. I go nowhere, I spend ...
A. 18 April 2009: Maybe the reason you have a rotten life is because you slag off the people that try and help you and don't take advise, spend too much time on the internet wallowing in self pity!
Seriously Uncle Phil is right you've had some great advise i... (read in full...)
19 and 45, what to do... need some help!
Q. I met this guy when I was 10 and I fell deeply in love with this guy sexually emotional and physically. I'm now 19 and he is 45 and I feel it would be wrong but on the other hand I really love him and we are starting a relationship, and I was ...
A. 18 April 2009: Well as long as you haven't got Stockholm syndrome from years of childhood abuse, and you truely want to be with him, then that is now your choice.... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and we are considering "fingering", does it hurt and how should we do it?
Q. Okay, well I'm 13 my boyfriend is 15. He is 22 months older then me. He is very very sweet and always is like, "we are not doing anything that you are not sure about or comfortable with." and he means that, seriously. He gets really really worked up ...
A. 18 April 2009: If you need to ask all the details on how to finger I think you are wrong in thinking that you are ready!
Wait until you know what make you feel good before letting a boy try, because by the sound of it he doesn't know what he's doing, and only... (read in full...)
19 and 45, what to do... need some help!
Q. I met this guy when I was 10 and I fell deeply in love with this guy sexually emotional and physically. I'm now 19 and he is 45 and I feel it would be wrong but on the other hand I really love him and we are starting a relationship, and I was ...
A. 18 April 2009: I'm a little concerned how a 10 year old can fall in love "sexually emotional and physically" this sounds a little like child abuse, can you clear this issue up for me as I probably have got the wrong end of the stick.
If you think it is wrong yo... (read in full...)
Has she bought him the car to try to keep him?
Q. My ex boyfriend's new girlfriend has just bought him a new car, a 57 reg and he knew nothing about it, thing is they have been together for 2 months,and now I feel I wasn't good enough for him because I could neve afford anything like this, I did ...
A. 18 April 2009: Yes I think she is totally buying his affection.... (read in full...)
Stress is really taking a toll on me..should I talk to my teacher?
Q. I am 15 years old and I have really been finding the past few terms at school difficult. I have a lot of stress from exams and courcework (who doesn't!!) and I have a friend who is currently very ill at the moment. I have tried to do everything I ...
A. 18 April 2009: To our anonymous female poster, in the UK we don't have school counsellors who do degrees in child psychology. Our teachers are actually good enough to deal with these problems themselves.... (read in full...)
Lost in space...
Q. Background: Our relationship was born out of a triangle and sadly had a turbulent birth. There were months of tension and passion. She is a professional and this last year and a half I believe we have had it good. We don't live together, we are a ...
A. 18 April 2009: Good! Don't send them EVER, make a book of all your works and if you get married, use one for your speech and the rest keep safe until your 10 year anniversary then give her the book.
That way is sweet but not over powering and if she ever dou... (read in full...)
Handsome man in nightclub alone intimidates a woman?
Q. I am in a bit of a pickle.... I am a 26 year old guy. I have been told I am very attractive by many females, and I have noticed a lot of woman looking at me.....in streets, at clubs etc. However I am totally clueless and I may be misinter...
A. 18 April 2009: Standing around at a bar, by yourself staring at women is CREEPY no matter how good looking you "think" you are!
If a girl looks over at you, smile if she smiles back go over buy her a drink or ask her to dance! It really is that easy... Look at ... (read in full...)
Lower than usual...
Q. The last two days my balls have hung a lot lower than they normally do and if anything the weather is colder so it isn't a temperature thing. What would be causing this? I have had more sex than usual over the past week so would that be the cause or ...
A. 18 April 2009: Balls just do that from time to time, I really wouldn't worry about it unless they are painful or feel different. I find mine have a mind of their own. And yes it could be to do with more sex, also if your body temperature is higher due to wearing ... (read in full...)
Stress is really taking a toll on me..should I talk to my teacher?
Q. I am 15 years old and I have really been finding the past few terms at school difficult. I have a lot of stress from exams and courcework (who doesn't!!) and I have a friend who is currently very ill at the moment. I have tried to do everything I ...
A. 18 April 2009: Yes talk to your teacher about this! That is what they are paid for!... (read in full...)
Flirting is hurting! Would asking her out relieve the pain?
Q. Hello. I was always told that flirting should be fun but with this woman at work the flirting is hurting. Does this mean I have feelings for her? Is it a bad sign to have feelings for someone when we have not even been on a date together? Am I ...
A. 18 April 2009: What pain are you feeling is it a dull ache, sharp stabbing? where exactly is this pain and does it move anywhere (radiate)? Are there any other symptoms associated with this pain (shortness of breath, pins and needles etc)?
I think if this pai... (read in full...)
Caught the flu and my yeast infection went away??
Q. I've been having yeast infection which was not cured by my doctor for some time now. I recently caught flu though its getting much better now i've realised an amazing clearing of my yeast infection. I wonder how all this could be possible since i ...
A. 18 April 2009: This is probably because your immune system has been on over drive trying to get rid of your cold. If you have recovered with-out antibiotics that is.
Or it has just gone away by itself.
... (read in full...)
Out of my league....
Q. hey everyone i like this girl but i think that she is out of my league. We hooked-up(kissed) at a party about 3 months ago and some of her friends gave her shit for doing it. We talk like once a week texting each other, but i need to know what to d...
A. 18 April 2009: You will always have feelings for her, so when she gets a boyfriend, he will spot the signs and have "the chat" with you. She will stop seeing you because her boyfriend doesn't like you.
You will spend all your time following her around in the h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend would rather spend time with his friends than me.
Q. My boyfriend would rather spend time with his friends than me. I don't know why, I know he's not cheating because it's usually at his house with his grandma there and she would never allow that to go on. And when they do go out several of my friends ...
A. 17 April 2009: That's teenage boys for you!... (read in full...)
26 and never had a boyfriend, it's really getting me down...
Q. Hello, my name is Jo and I need some help/advice, I am 26 and have never had a boyfriend (I am a virgin), the thing is I am never really attracted to anyone and the one time I was when we kissed it just I don't now, I ended up pulling away and ...
A. 17 April 2009: If this is your choice then there is not much we can say, go out meet new people, boys and girls you never know who is going to flick your switch.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend would rather spend time with his friends than me.
Q. My boyfriend would rather spend time with his friends than me. I don't know why, I know he's not cheating because it's usually at his house with his grandma there and she would never allow that to go on. And when they do go out several of my friends ...
A. 17 April 2009: Because he is a young man and he can talk about boy stuff with them like: Football, Xbox/PS3/Wii, farting, girls, cars, being mean to each other, and such like, all the kinds of thing you would disapprove of!
He does love you, but there is only ... (read in full...)
Pregnant by my cousin!
Q. oh God we and my cousin are in love with each other and have been for about a year we started having sex 3 months back he is older than me he is so nice he takes care of me protects me we love each other so much but i just found ...
A. 17 April 2009: You go to a doctor and get this confirmed, he will then tell you your options and help you a arrange what ever action you decide.
You then go and tell your parents ass they are going to find out sooner or later anyway.... (read in full...)
Its always me contacting him to meet up?
Q. dear cupid i have been seeing a guy for about a month, i like him and we get along well. it started out as a one night stand but we got along great the next day and decided to meet again. the problem is that its always me that contacts him to meet ...
A. 17 April 2009: kaylagal is right this sounds like a hook up to me.
Many men will not date a girl they have a one night stand with, because: The girl comes across as a bit easy, she often has no self respect or confidence (how many other men?), and why date som... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to initiate sex?
Q. How can I get my husband to initiate sex? What can I do so that he can't stop himself and come pouncing at me (hee hee) that's what I desire. Can anyone tell which points in men's body initiate that feeling or any food that increases sexual desire?...
A. 17 April 2009: Their eyes! Men are visually stimulated, so doing the washing up in a pair of heals and a short skirt, just prance about the place and feel pretty, but just do normal house hold things.
The confidence of you feeling pretty and the visual stimulat... (read in full...)
My ex said he loved me up until 3 months ago. Has he moved on?
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend for 5 years after a 14 year marriage. We had a lot of outside pressure and split very often!! We have a 3 year old daughter together whom he doesn't see. I still love him but we have been seperated now about a year, he ...
A. 17 April 2009: Probably, that's about the right time frame, it varies from person to person, but he's probably cut his loses after 3 months of telling you and has moved on.... (read in full...)
How do I know if its true love?
Q. WHat do i do my Boyfriend always tells me how much he loves me and people always says he means it but how exactelly do i know its TRUE love i mean he does spent alot of time with me and is really protective and treats me like his girlfriend but i ...
A. 17 April 2009: Trust! You either trust what he says is true or you don't. He has said he loves you and he treats you with respect, what more do you want? A ring? I think you are being a little neurotic about this.
How does he know you love him? Hmmmmm? ... (read in full...)
Hysterectomy..will my sex life be the same?
Q. Can someone please tell me if having a Hysterectomy will change my sex life. My husband and I have a wonderful, active sex life. I have been told by my doctor that I need to have a Hystrectomy due to enlarged Fibriods. This will be a partial ...
A. 17 April 2009: From what I understand it shouldn't alter the enjoyment at all, but best speak to your surgeon, he will have years of experience and it won't be the first time he's been asked this question.... (read in full...)
How do I prove that I love him?
Q. Okay Now me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month and i told him i love him but he wants me to prove it to him how do i do that??? i mean i do love him cuz i broke up with my Exboyfriend and went out with him but HOW do i prove that i love ...
A. 17 April 2009: Buy him a teddy bear with "I love you" on it! If he wants you to do something sexual to prove your love he blatantly doesn't love or respect you.
As Eyeswideopen has pointed out, this is the OLDEST boy trick in the book!... (read in full...)
I'm in an abusive relationship
Q. I am in a abusive relationship. My boyfriend is a possesive and jelous maniac. He does not let me go out with my friends, he doesnt let me talk to any male friends, he does not let me work in places that any guy will be, he doesnt let me wear alot ...
A. 17 April 2009: This man needs to be locked up, there is no excuse for domestic violence.
Here are some websites that may help, but above all report this man to the police before he does actually kill you!
http://www.ho... (read in full...)
I have my whole life ahead of me but don't know if I could kill my child... Help!
Q. Hello. My name is Anna and I am 17 years of age. I have just found out that I am pregnant after being fourced to sleep with my boyfriend. I have not told anyone as I know they will be judgemental. I am only 17 and have got my whole life ahead of me ...
A. 17 April 2009: Here is a website you may find useful: http://www.mariestopes.org.uk they are not bias either way and will offer impartial advice on your situation.... (read in full...)
Had my period...can I still be pregnant?
Q. I had sex with a guy. We used protection, im not on the pill but i think i might be pregnant. We had sex about 2 years ago and i fell pregnant then. That was protected too but still. I had what i thought was my period last week but it was ligh...
A. 17 April 2009: If in doubt go to your doctor, family planning clinic or local GU Medicine department.
You have been in this situation before and know your body better than anyone else, I don't think we can seriously advise anything other than seek a professi... (read in full...)
Lost in space...
Q. Background: Our relationship was born out of a triangle and sadly had a turbulent birth. There were months of tension and passion. She is a professional and this last year and a half I believe we have had it good. We don't live together, we are a ...
A. 17 April 2009: I think Bombarding someone with Poems and songs is far too much. You are scaring this lady away! I think Bombarding is a great term to use - when under heavy artillery fire (bombardment) the one thing you want to do is keep your head down and not ... (read in full...)
Does he feel the same or is he just using me for sex?
Q. I am in love with a guy that i have know for years. We are not bf and gf but we have had sex on many occasions. He was my first (as in i lost my virginity to him) and he has been my first for many things. (First guy to cook me dinner, first guy i ...
A. 17 April 2009: You need to ask him if he considers you to be his girlfriend. If he says he doesn't want to "put labels on what you have" or "lets just be friends" it's all about the sex and he couldn't care less.
If he says "of course I do you silly thing an... (read in full...)
Can someone console me please? Why do guys not seem to fancy me?
Q. Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and so far I have never been in a relationship with a guy. My (girl) friends say that I'm pretty and sometimes I believe them, sometimes I disagree. No guys have said that to me though. It does hurt a little that guys...
A. 17 April 2009: If you don't know boys they are not going to tell you, you are pretty in the street.
Don't worry about it, boys are shy timid little things (well the nice ones are), wait till you have left school and are either in college or uni, you'll soon dis... (read in full...)
His comment to the porn and DVDs I found: "My private life is my private life". Is there hope in this marriage?
Q. I'm 33, and my husband's 35. I was off work yesterday and cleaning the house to make it look nice, since we have guests coming over at the weekend. Our house looked sparkling, and still does now. I was shocked however to discover DVDs hidden ...
A. 17 April 2009: I think he's not going to compromise with you on this one and I think that there's not much you can do if he is looking at GAY porn (which lets be honest it blatantly is)
Either stay with him and let him keep his porn collection, or tell him that... (read in full...)
Out of my league....
Q. hey everyone i like this girl but i think that she is out of my league. We hooked-up(kissed) at a party about 3 months ago and some of her friends gave her shit for doing it. We talk like once a week texting each other, but i need to know what to d...
A. 17 April 2009: If you have kissed her then she is not out of your league, her friends however maybe a bit snotty.
Ask her out, you never know she may not give in to peer pressure.... (read in full...)
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