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*rmyMedic agony aunt

*rmyMedic

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*rmyMedic's profile:

I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.

I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.

My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).

When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.

If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex.

Latest articles:

STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...

Why don't boys reply to my texts?

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [36 pages, 1399 answers]

I'm only used to him but he loves me, what should I do?

Q.   I told a guy that I don't love him but he keep saying he'll keep loving me even if I don't do.I asked him to find another girl that might be suitable for him I don't have any feeling toward him he is a friend he said okay we are friends ...

A.   9 June 2009: Go to the Police... (read in full...)

What are these white bits in my virgina?

Q.   hi, im 18 and recently ive started to get white bits in my vagina, they look almost tissue like. i havent a clue what it might be, any ideas? thanks...

A.   8 June 2009: Just to be a real geek here: You will get antifungals, not antibiotics, as thrush is a fungal infection, and most antibiotics are made from mould (a fungus) and therefore would make thrush much worse. The drug of choice is normally Canista... (read in full...)

I keep cheating on him when I'm drunk, what should I do?

Q.   I'm in a relationship with the best boyfriend ever. He would do anything for me and we love each other dearly. He's three years older than me, and works full time, whereas i am a student at university. Truthfully he's my first love, i have nev...

A.   7 June 2009: STOP DRINKING, if you do love him that will stop the problem and if you don't want to stop, you have to dump him because you are being selfish.... (read in full...)

My brother needs guidance but I'd rather spend time with my girlfriend, any ideas?

Q.   My mom wants me to spend time with my brother (he's 12) because he uses our sisters (they'll 6 and 9) as punching bags. Hes like this since my dad died 4 years ago and needs an older male influence (im 16) to "guide" him. I rather spend time with my ...

A.   7 June 2009: Well I suppose your girlfriend will be really proud to have such a big brave man to look after her, or would you run away if someone harmed her too! Your family need you and you are too interested in trying to cop a feel of some local tart! We... (read in full...)

Where to go to sow wild oats?

Q.   I graduate next year and am inexperienced sexually. I have been saving money to go abroad and see the world. Since I won't be near my hometown anymore, I'm wanting to sow some wild oats, have fun, party, meet some girls. I'm thinking to visit ...

A.   7 June 2009: You come from the most hated country in the world... Most people will dislike Americans, especially ones who think they can shag their way around the world with very little insight. Germany and Holland have very relaxed rules on prostitu... (read in full...)

I don't really like him and hes calling me sweet names

Q.   i dont get this guy..he asked me out in a acting and modeling class he seemed really shy about it then later that night he texted me saying are we offically together and i said idk ..cuz we never went out so i didnt wanna be together if we never ...

A.   7 June 2009: He seems quite desperate, tell him you are not interested in him that way and that he shouldn't be so pushy with girls as it will put them off.... (read in full...)

I'm only used to him but he loves me, what should I do?

Q.   I told a guy that I don't love him but he keep saying he'll keep loving me even if I don't do.I asked him to find another girl that might be suitable for him I don't have any feeling toward him he is a friend he said okay we are friends ...

A.   7 June 2009: You have two options: Let him make a fool of himself and continue calling him and seeing him or you could be brave and tell him, no more contact because you are finding it creepy and you don't want to hurt him.... (read in full...)

Her vagina had a fishy kind of smell

Q.   I was with this prostitute and she started fingering herself on the floor. A strange smell came from her vagina when she was doing this. I don't know if this was the lubricant, or a sign she had a std. The smell was hard to describe. It kinda di...

A.   7 June 2009: You were with a Prostitute, and unless you were in a legal brothel which guarantees all it's girls are clean of STIs and drugs, then yes there is a very high chance of her having and STI. Go to a GU clinic, get screened and stop seeing prostitu... (read in full...)

How to give my boyfriend a good hand job??

Q.   hey im 14 and my boyfriend asked me for a handjob. i said i would think about it and i hav i want to give him one but i dont know how and i dont want to ask him how i should do it im just 2 shy to ask. so how do i give him a really really good ...

A.   7 June 2009: To gRaa, you are 12 which means your hormones haven't even kicked in properly yet and although I respect your morals, I feel your advise isn't really justified in any way! And although you say you will "N E V E R" do any of those things I think you ... (read in full...)

Bought a purity ring, not a virgin, was it wrong to buy the ring?

Q.   Okay. So I am 19 years old and I am finally starting to accept Christ. I have begun studying the bible and attending church. My religion is becoming a major part of my life. But now I come to this problem in my life. I am not a virgin and I have ...

A.   7 June 2009: I feel wearing a purity ring is a sign to others that you are pure, where as in fact you are not! I understand the religious aspect of why you are doing this and that your religion encourages forgiveness, therefore you ask the lord for his forg... (read in full...)

I'm attracted to younger girls and wonder where it will go?

Q.   I find myself looking at younger girls from about 8 onwards in a sexual way. This disturbs me. I am 25. I know that I can't do anything. And feel that I will have the strength to avoid doing anything to a girl. But I fear that one day I might weak...

A.   7 June 2009: I think you need to seek help right now and if you start getting urges to pursue these feelings Chemical castration is always an option. Please don't do anything illegal!... (read in full...)

Is it possible that I could be pregnant?

Q.   I had unprotected sex with my bf and he ejaculated 3 times inside me! Now ive started to feel light headed and tied. Could i be pregnant?...

A.   6 June 2009: UNPROTECTED SEX = PREGNANCY! Duh!... (read in full...)

How to give my boyfriend a good hand job??

Q.   hey im 14 and my boyfriend asked me for a handjob. i said i would think about it and i hav i want to give him one but i dont know how and i dont want to ask him how i should do it im just 2 shy to ask. so how do i give him a really really good ...

A.   6 June 2009: You are a 14 year old girl, you won't give a good hand job! Get him to put his hand on yours then he can guide you on what to do, and make sure he wears a condom!... (read in full...)

An awful ordorless, goop comes out of my mouth, don't know what it is, any ideas?

Q.   Hello DearCupid, I used to use this site quite often when I was a bit Younger when i needed Advice and found it Helpful, so maybe you All can help me with this occuring problem I've been having? I keep pulling out this white-ish Goop out of my m...

A.   6 June 2009: Go and see your doctor and stop taking drugs as they won't help with your paranoid tendencies!... (read in full...)

I am 15, really like a 23 year old man, is he too old for me to date?

Q.   hi there, i have a question for you all, well i really like this guy and he is 23 and im 15 some of my friends say he is too old and some say that aslong as he is respectful in my decisions and he doesnt push me into things then its okayy, but i...

A.   6 June 2009: He is too old for you, and will try to push you into things, a 23 year old guy will want sex, he'll want to go clubbing with his girlfriend, he'll also want to take her to films with a rating over 15! Also if his friends find out about you they... (read in full...)

Do all girls think that masturbating is gross?

Q.   Hey, im a male 16 and i had a question to ask, i know all about sex and stuff like that and i do myself masturbate, but when girls i've gotten close to have asked and i've admitted they've said it was gross, and that they would never do something ...

A.   5 June 2009: Girls claim many things, here are some examples: not masturbating, not farting, and not being mental! It's lies! But girls like us to think they are perfect in every way and expect us (men) to behave the way their mental brains tell them we shoul... (read in full...)

Have some questions about the life of sperm?

Q.   if a boy has pre ejaculate in his swim shorts when he goes in the pool with a girl can it swim in the pool. if they are up against each other in the water but no penetration could she get preg? or what if your hand went through the water and ...

A.   4 June 2009: There is a very slim chance. But the chlorine and temperature in pools kills sperm quite quickly. Here is an old post with some good answers on this subject http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-sperm-die-in-chlorine-water.html The bottom li... (read in full...)

Getting pregnant while on your period

Q.   i still have sex when im on my period can i get pregnant? im on birth control and i still take the pill reguraly i dont use a condom all the time this there a higher chance of me getting pregnant when im on my period?...

A.   4 June 2009: Look further into the site, you will find lots of people get very harsh answers, if you post a (silly) question in an open forum, you are going to get a range of answers, most of which will be harsh. If you want a hug and fluffy answer ask your... (read in full...)

Why is it impossible to talk to your spouse about issues?

Q.   Why is it near imposible to talk to your spouse about issues or problems on your mind? Why do they mistake it for an invitation to argue when you are just trying to sort out problems that are bothering you?...

A.   4 June 2009: I'm sorry I used terrible grammar there, I meant, your not you're. Please accept my humble apologies... (read in full...)

What are these white bits in my virgina?

Q.   hi, im 18 and recently ive started to get white bits in my vagina, they look almost tissue like. i havent a clue what it might be, any ideas? thanks...

A.   4 June 2009: It sounds like thrush! You should really go and see your doctor if this is the first time it has happened.... (read in full...)

Premature ejaculation! What can I do?

Q.   Okay here's the situation. I've been having sex for over 2 years now (since I was 16) and I definitely suffer from premature ejaculation. I ejaculate as soon as I enter my girlfriend and if we're kissing a lot and she is stroking my penis through my ...

A.   4 June 2009: Normal people use CONDOMS! Think safe sex! http://www.dearcupid.org/question/sti-std-what-are-they-and-how-do.html... (read in full...)

Good bdsm tips?

Q.   Anyone have some good bdsm tips for me? Thanks in advance for your help...

A.   4 June 2009: Make sure you have a "safe word"... (read in full...)

Which medicine works best for cramps?

Q.   Hey, I need some suggestions Whenever I get my period, I tend to get cramps quite often. When it comes, i try so desperately to get rid of them. I've tried Midol, Advil, and Alieve, but the only results i got were that the Advil and Alieve each ...

A.   4 June 2009: Try a Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAID) such as Ibuprofen but make sure you read the instructions on the pack as these drugs don't agree with everyone. Your doctor is the best person to ask as he knows what drugs are safe for you to t... (read in full...)

Getting pregnant while on your period

Q.   i still have sex when im on my period can i get pregnant? im on birth control and i still take the pill reguraly i dont use a condom all the time this there a higher chance of me getting pregnant when im on my period?...

A.   4 June 2009: If you posted your age as 16-17 rather than 13-15 we may have treated you slightly differently, but buy the way you master the use of the English language, we have to assume you are not actually that mature. Also if he is studying to be a Paramedic ... (read in full...)

Why is it impossible to talk to your spouse about issues?

Q.   Why is it near imposible to talk to your spouse about issues or problems on your mind? Why do they mistake it for an invitation to argue when you are just trying to sort out problems that are bothering you?...

A.   3 June 2009: Because you're way of saying things on your mind seems to cause friction... I am annoyed that you are implying that this is the case in all relationships and I don't even know you! Try not tarring everyone with the same brush and approach... (read in full...)

Now that I'm pregnant he wants to have sex all the time and is getting aggressive about it

Q.   alright so im 17 years old and my boyfriend is 28 years old. we have been together for a year and a half. the thing is he used to work at my school as a security guard. he left my school about 6 months ago to move onto another job. we met through ...

A.   3 June 2009: I couldn't have said it better, Superdolly is so right about this. This guy is a Paedophile and a rapist.... (read in full...)

Should I tell my 11 year old cousin that I love her?

Q.   Hi i am an 18 year old boy and last week i met my cousin who is 11years old actually i met her for the very first time...we had nice time and became really very close.but i have fallen in love with her i am too much attracted to her. What shall i ...

A.   3 June 2009: NO! ... (read in full...)

Getting pregnant while on your period

Q.   i still have sex when im on my period can i get pregnant? im on birth control and i still take the pill reguraly i dont use a condom all the time this there a higher chance of me getting pregnant when im on my period?...

A.   3 June 2009: Of course there is always a chance of falling pregnant, so to prevent this, always use condoms, ALWAYS!! Or better still, don't have sex till you can look after a child!... (read in full...)

My mom has skin cancer, so do I, having a hard time coping. any suggestions to help?

Q.   hey i need some advice from people ... i am only 15 and i am a carer. mi mum has skin cancer and i look after her all the time as shes always! in hospital .. recently i hav found out i have the same thing, im not alloud in the sun at all. i h...

A.   3 June 2009: I think Rifraf is referring to the MacMillan Nurses, they are fantastic people who have helped me several times with my family. Have you checked those links out yet?... (read in full...)

I went to his house, did not want sex, he insisted, I feel violated, should I?

Q.   i kinda have this friends with benefits thing but i hardly see him these days as i wanted more than just sex. Anyway, i went round his the other night and we chilled for a bit but then i decided to go without having sex, for the reason i said ab...

A.   3 June 2009: Please go to the police, your FWBs is nothing more than a rapist!... (read in full...)

My mom has skin cancer, so do I, having a hard time coping. any suggestions to help?

Q.   hey i need some advice from people ... i am only 15 and i am a carer. mi mum has skin cancer and i look after her all the time as shes always! in hospital .. recently i hav found out i have the same thing, im not alloud in the sun at all. i h...

A.   3 June 2009: Cancer is such a hard thing to deal with and I don't think any of us are really qualified to help you at Dear Cupid, but can I suggest looking at these web sites, they can give support to you as a patient and as a carer. There is help you can get ... (read in full...)

Trust issues

Q.   [MOD NOTE: This was posted as two separate questions but as they are so closely related I have posted them together] 1. My girlfriend past is bothering me as well.Im 19 and i had sex with about 50 girls. I know thats bad but i try to make excuses ...

A.   3 June 2009: Have you ever had a STI test? I think with that number of partners between you, you really need to. As for the controlling thing well you are as bad as her for sleeping around. You either have to learn to trust her or dump her, but at the end ... (read in full...)

He called me a selfish bitch because I don't want to have sex

Q.   So I told my boyfriend that I don't want to do anything sexual with him mainly because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Well he gets mad at me cause I told him earlier I was going to gave him my virginity but I realize I wasn't ready. He called me a ...

A.   3 June 2009: Well tell him that he's now a single idiot! You aren't selfish I wish more girls had self respect like you do, Dump this guy, and you will in time find a guy who is actually worth your time.... (read in full...)

Can someone fall in love just by chatting?

Q.   I know that guy from msn for around six months he told me that he is into me in the next day we chatted I told him that can't be real as he barely knows me I'm 18 and he is 27 he asked for my phone number millions of time I gave it to him.now he ...

A.   3 June 2009: Falling in love with someone you only chat to on the internet = Internet dating!... (read in full...)

Please help me gain some weight!!

Q.   Hello. I want to gain a few pounds about 10 or 15 but I do not know where to buy a powder that I can drink every day and gain weight. I don't want protein shakes such as boost or ensure, I just want a powder you pour into milk or water or whatever ...

A.   3 June 2009: Diet shakes, if taken with a meal will actually help you put weight on but just increasing the amount you eat (More proteins) will help you gain some pounds. What ever you do make sure you keep healthy and keep exercising.... (read in full...)

Can someone fall in love just by chatting?

Q.   I know that guy from msn for around six months he told me that he is into me in the next day we chatted I told him that can't be real as he barely knows me I'm 18 and he is 27 he asked for my phone number millions of time I gave it to him.now he ...

A.   3 June 2009: I think you can be in love with the idea of loving someone but it is not "true love" I would be very careful when it comes to internet dating.... (read in full...)

Is it right that american girls do oral sex easily ?

Q.   I am french, so please excuse my english which is not very good. I have heard that in USA, american girls do oral sex (blowjobs) easily, it's not a big thing for them. To make love with them may be hard, but to be sucked may be easy. Is that...

A.   3 June 2009: Those bloody garlic eating surrender monkeys are so racist! Oh sorry was I generalising there! Why don't you ask some American girls if they are easy and listen to what they say! ... (read in full...)

Could be pregnant but can't afford a test

Q.   I had sex with this boy two weeks ago and the condom was to big so the week after i had sex with a differant boy without protection he said he would stop before he came (i dont no wether he did) and this week i have had unprotected sex with a ...

A.   3 June 2009: You are still updating, but still haven't been to the doctor, we've tried to help but you are obviously an IDIOT, who doesn't listen to anyone and I truely hope you are not pregnant!... (read in full...)

Could be pregnant but can't afford a test

Q.   I had sex with this boy two weeks ago and the condom was to big so the week after i had sex with a differant boy without protection he said he would stop before he came (i dont no wether he did) and this week i have had unprotected sex with a ...

A.   2 June 2009: GO AND SEE YOUR DOCTOR! It's free! ... (read in full...)

If it hadn't been for the alcohol, it never would have happened!

Q.   I am completely and utterly in love with my boyfriend of 1 and a half years who is also my best friend. Three nights ago however, I got very, very drunk on a night out with a friend, so drunk that I can't remember the majority (apart from little f...

A.   2 June 2009: To female anon, if you think I was heavy handed with this post, you should read some of my other answers!... (read in full...)

Should I say anything to my neighbour about the photos I found of his wife?

Q.   I recently purchased a camera from my neighbours in our street, whilst playing with the camera i came across some photos which had been left on the camera, most were of normal family stuff but to my delight and surprise there were around a dozen ...

A.   1 June 2009: No you don't say anything at all, and if you are a gentleman you would delete these photos. (But some how I don't think you will!)... (read in full...)

Is the way I masturbate incorrect?

Q.   I don't masturbate the conventionol way with my hands around my penis, instead I usually rub against something? I'v read articles claiming this may make my sex in the future less enjoyble, I was just wondering should I force myself to try ma...

A.   1 June 2009: Do what ever makes you feel good! There is no right or wrong way, just your way!... (read in full...)

I really want a baby!

Q.   Im thirteen and i want a baby but dont want to have sex, what should i do ?...

A.   1 June 2009: I have to disagree with SirenaBlusera getting a puppy is a very bad idea, I honestly don't think at 13 you would honestly care for a dog, because you have school, a social life and the attention span of goldfish. Honestly I know my early advice w... (read in full...)

If it hadn't been for the alcohol, it never would have happened!

Q.   I am completely and utterly in love with my boyfriend of 1 and a half years who is also my best friend. Three nights ago however, I got very, very drunk on a night out with a friend, so drunk that I can't remember the majority (apart from little f...

A.   1 June 2009: Alcohol doesn't make you cheat, it just makes it easier to cheat! Therefore you probably would have done this sooner or later and you are likely to do it again. You need to look at yourself and the real reasons why you chose to kiss this other gu... (read in full...)

Could be pregnant but can't afford a test

Q.   I had sex with this boy two weeks ago and the condom was to big so the week after i had sex with a differant boy without protection he said he would stop before he came (i dont no wether he did) and this week i have had unprotected sex with a ...

A.   31 May 2009: Ask your DOCTOR!!!... (read in full...)

Could be pregnant but can't afford a test

Q.   I had sex with this boy two weeks ago and the condom was to big so the week after i had sex with a differant boy without protection he said he would stop before he came (i dont no wether he did) and this week i have had unprotected sex with a ...

A.   31 May 2009: You are a very silly girl indeed! If you don't understand about condoms and contraception you really should not be sleeping around! As for not being able to afford a test go to your doctor and he will do a test for free and also give you your opi... (read in full...)

I really want a baby!

Q.   Im thirteen and i want a baby but dont want to have sex, what should i do ?...

A.   30 May 2009: Buy a doll!... (read in full...)

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