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I'm afraid my mom is pregnant...

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2010)
A female United States age 18-21, *33 writes:

Ugh, I think my mom's pregnant. I'm 16 and an only child, my parents are married and I love how my life is. I don't want anything to change and i'm in shock.. I feel like crying... My mom is 38 and she got pregnant last year, too, but had an abortion. I'm not even sure if she's pregnant or not.. i've been stressing out for a week now.. I told my friend Robert and he told me to personally ask her .. but I'm scared.. I don't even know how to ask her

Truth is, I like being an only child. i don't even like kids let alone babies. I'm a loner and hate being surrounded by people. I have a strong relationship with my mom.. she's like my bestfriend. And if a baby is born.. he/she will ruin everything. My parents have big plans and a kid would just destroy them. I honestly don't know how to act ... please don't comment if you have something negative to say like, "Get over yourself, you're selfish, or spoiled" put yourself in my position.

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A female reader, Isa123 United States +, writes (13 April 2010):

Isa123 agony auntI know EXACTLY how you feel.

I was sixteen when my mom had my baby brother. And yes, I've had my moments where I just didn't want to have any siblings. Young kids made my patience go away very quickly, and I didn't want to stop being an only child.

My mother had five miscarriages before she finally gave birth. Your mother is not only your mother, she's a woman too. She has her own needs and has sacrificed much for you.

And my mother and I were very close before my brother was born. However, it didn't ruin us, it made us stronger. I spent time with her and my brother helping her and raising him with her. We learned more about each other than ever.

Just let her know your concerns. She's a person too and not only wants the best for you, but for her and the whole family. She's given much for you and it would seem fair for you to do the same.

And if it isn't a boy, even better. Girl bonding.

Please don't be selfish, trust me you will regret it.

Best of luck to you.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntTalk to your Mum, but you do sound very selfish about the issue.

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A female reader, Katiekins86 United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

Katiekins86 agony auntI'm an only child and once when I was a teenager I thought my mum and dad might be having a baby - I reacted exactly like you so I totally understand where you are coming from. You know what though, my mum wasn't pregnant afterall and I remained an only child.

Now as an adult, I find myself worrying, will i get a good enough job to care for my parents when they're elderly? it would be nice as an adult to have a sibling to talk about these things with, to have nephews and nieces, all that sort of stuff. I know it's easier said than done, but try and focus how great it will make your adult life )talking 20 years +); when your mum is old you will have support there for you, a shoulder, someone who knows your mum aswell as you do who will understand, and also financially aswell so there's less pressure on you.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

k_c100 agony auntWell the best thing to do if you are so close to your mum is to talk to her - just come right out and ask if she is pregnant, and tell her how you feel about the possibility of having a brother/sister.

But if your parents do have another child, at the end of the day it is their lives and they need to do what makes them happy. Of course they will have considered you in all of this, and their main priority is to make sure you are happy - but they have things they need to do and want to achieve in their lives too, so you cant rely deny them from having another child if they really want one just because you like life as it is right now.

While you might think that your life would be lots worse - it really wouldnt change that much I promise. Your mum and dad will still love you just as much, and you would still be just as close with your mum. It might even bring you closer - after all she will really need your help and you can look after the baby together (I know you dont like children but when it is your brother or sister you will feel strangely attached to it and protective of him/her).

Just be brave and ask your mum if you can have a chat, then just say something like "mum I've been a bit worried all week, I get the feeling you might be pregnant?" and see what she says. The only way to make you feel better at this point is to come right out and ask your mum, she wont mind or be angry with you because you are just telling her how you feel and what your concerns are.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (16 December 2009):

SirenaBlusera agony auntHow do you know that she´s pregnant?

Don´t borrow trouble, you don´t know for sure that she is.

I´m assuming from your post that you have reason to believe she is... but WHY?

I think you should just ask your mom, although she might not be sure yet. If she IS pregnant, she might as well tell you, she can´t keep it a secret forever.

Maybe some people will give you flack and accuse you of being ´´spoiled`` or ´´selfish,`` but you´re entitled to your feelings. I can understand why you feel the way you feel, but unfortunately change is inevitable in life.

It could be worse, at least you have your health, right? You could have a disease or deformity... in spite of all this you could be worse off.

Perhaps you could talk to a therapist or counselor...?

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2009):

Part of growing up is that things change and you can't be that little girl to your mum forever and ever.

Yes this is not great for you but unfortunately life is not great all the time.

You'll be moving on and out of the house in a couple of years anyway.

Changes happen and yes, they suck, but if you are your mum's best friend as you say you are then you can try and be happy for her.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 December 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntSince it's up to your parents I guess there's not much you can do about it if they decide to have another kid. It's their business. In a couple years (and if you are getting good grades) you'll be off to college anyway so it's not going to be quite the same at home anyway.

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