A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend doesn't work and has a bad temper; how do I confront him about this without him breaking up with me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cottongin +, writes (23 December 2009):
 It is possible he is suffering of a disabling illness such as ADHD or bipolar disorder. Those types of illnesses can cause anger, and I, having both, know that I could not hold any job, i dropped out of 2 high schools, and 1 community college, all in the same year. I took out all my anger out on my family and boyfriend, even if it was over something completely stupid. This is seriously worth considering looking into if you still love him and want to continue this relationship. If he does have something going on, he can be treated to manage it, and things will be a whole lot better. Do some research and see if the symptoms sound anything like him. Bring up the possibility in regards to how he's been acting, and suggest he see someone.
I don't like any of the answers that were given to you, as it's really unfair to just judge someone as being a failure or uncaring worthless lazy bum of a boyfriend, when a lot of the time there is something else going on.
I hope that helps.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Stop supporting this freeloader and your life will improve 99.9%
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): I'm the one who asked the question and here's a little background.... I'm in college working part time trying to support him and myself. (It also makes it hard to get through a stressful college career when he's accusing me of cheating on him all the time when I go home every weekend to him. He thinks he shouldn't have to work at a job that he doesn't like. He doesn't have much of an option with no highschool degree or GED or anything. I think he's just being picky, even though he tells me all the time that sometimes you don't always get what you want. He's not happy with a job if he can't set his own hours and refuses to take a little criticism from a boss. He gets mad over the littlest things and takes it out on me instead of venting about it. I want to confront him about how I'm getting wore out trying to support him, but I know the minute I bring it up he will break up with me and not even look back. I can't think of a way to word what I want to say without seeming like I am offending him or make him mad. We've been together for three years, and I really do love him and want to be with him, but I'm not going to support him for the rest of his life either.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 December 2009):
I'd say confront him about it. If he breaks up with you, then he's not worth a moment of your time. A good boyfriend will listen, and will try to understand what you're saying. If he breaks up with you, then you can be sure you can do better.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (16 December 2009):
 Just confront him, if he breaks up with you because you point out an issue of concern that he isn't willing to sort out, he's obviously not worth dating.
Unemployment is a very miserable situation but taking out frustrations on other people also isn't acceptable.
You can go two ways: caring support through a difficult time, or walking away from an angry man.
You haven't given us much background to work with so it is hard to tell if he is angry because he was made redundant or angry because he is being pressured to work when he doesn't want to.
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