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... Send *rmyMedic a private message | | | *rmyMedic's profile:I'm a married, 29 year old from the UK.
I'm a sergeant in the British Army, so I deal with young people (mostly teens), who have all the usual dramas and long distance relationship issues.
My speciality is Medicine I've spent the last 12 years as an army medic, which means I have lots of experience in trauma (which isn't very helpful here), Sports therapy, travel medicine, and GU medicine (Sexual Health).
When I found out about this site, it seemed to be another way to help people out. But I am very straight talking, so please don't be too offended if you don't like my honest opinions.
If there is any advise you should take away from this site it is: Never do anything that you can't explain to a Paramedic and always practice safe sex. |
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| Latest articles: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them?
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: STI/STD what are they and how do you catch them? An STI is a sexually transmitted infection this is the "in vogue" name for what used to be called an Sexually transmitted disease (STD) This can range from pubic lice to AIDS and Hepatitis with m...
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 April 2009: Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
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I'm just wondering :)
Q. Ookay.So i was just wondering how you get std and all that other kind of contagious stuff that you can get from sexual contact. Thank you....
A. 9 May 2009: Yes, it would so either he has to wear a condom or you should put plasters over your cuts or wear rubber gloves!
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/sti-std-what-are-they-and-how-do.html... (read in full...)
Out of my league....
Q. hey everyone i like this girl but i think that she is out of my league. We hooked-up(kissed) at a party about 3 months ago and some of her friends gave her shit for doing it. We talk like once a week texting each other, but i need to know what to d...
A. 18 April 2009: You will always have feelings for her, so when she gets a boyfriend, he will spot the signs and have "the chat" with you. She will stop seeing you because her boyfriend doesn't like you.
You will spend all your time following her around in the h... (read in full...)
His comment to the porn and DVDs I found: "My private life is my private life". Is there hope in this marriage?
Q. I'm 33, and my husband's 35. I was off work yesterday and cleaning the house to make it look nice, since we have guests coming over at the weekend. Our house looked sparkling, and still does now. I was shocked however to discover DVDs hidden ...
A. 17 April 2009: I think he's not going to compromise with you on this one and I think that there's not much you can do if he is looking at GAY porn (which lets be honest it blatantly is)
Either stay with him and let him keep his porn collection, or tell him that... (read in full...)
He's losing interest in me because of my lies!
Q. I'm involved in a relationship where at first I used to tell lies but at the moment the guy is realizing that I'm full of lies and I was never honest with him at the beginning of the relationship. At the beginning I took it as a joke but now when ...
A. 17 April 2009: Does he not trust you because you lied about your health in a taxi once, or because you continued to lie after that.
A one off white lie is acceptable, unless you said you didn't have HIV, had unprotected sex and then said "well actually I was ly... (read in full...)
Am I cold hearted?
Q. Hi, I'm starting to think im cold hearted or something. Two people have died recently my form tutor that i had for 4 years and now my grandad. But yet.... tears do not flood my eyes, nor to strong emotions... Whats wrong with me? :(...
A. 17 April 2009: I find the same thing, when somebody close to me dies, I don't cry, and get quite clinical and cold about it, but sometimes get emotional years later.
Everyone grieves differently and just because you don't cry now doesn't mean that you are cold... (read in full...)
Out of my league....
Q. hey everyone i like this girl but i think that she is out of my league. We hooked-up(kissed) at a party about 3 months ago and some of her friends gave her shit for doing it. We talk like once a week texting each other, but i need to know what to d...
A. 17 April 2009: If you have kissed her then she is not out of your league, her friends however maybe a bit snotty.
Ask her out, you never know she may not give in to peer pressure.... (read in full...)
I think my sister is up to no good. Any advice?
Q. hey a quick question im 19 and my sister is 23 and never had a proper boyfriend, she's had internet r/ships but in a yr n a half she only seen him twice.. me and her dont get on! we haven't spoke in 5yrs (even tho we share a house) she used to beat...
A. 17 April 2009: Move out! I wouldn't want to live with anyone like that, but apart from that it is her life to mess up.
If she needs help point her in the direction of dear cupid!... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable with my own body
Q. Hey Im hoping someone can help me. I have two n very unhappy with my body. The parts Im having the most trouble with r my inner thighs n my jelly belly. If someone out there has a solution (preferably a fast n easy one) pls help me. Anything would ...
A. 17 April 2009: Sorry about the typo, but a first in art and dance studies still doesn't give you the right to prescribe medication or give poor advice hidden behind an anonymous post, if you have a problem with me please feel free to e-mail me!... (read in full...)
I think I'm pregnant yet we're not supposed to be around each other.
Q. Now i'm 16 and his 20. I have no clue what to do i think i'm pregnant by him which cause a problem cuz we're not suppose to be around each other. that's my mother's doing....
A. 17 April 2009: Well now we see why your mother doesn't let you two hang out!
Take a test if you are pregnant tell your Mum and face the music!
Silly Girl! Respect your Mum in future!... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mom?
Q. i am 15, i leave school in 5 weeks, i do use tampons but i dont know how to tell my mum. helppp ?! what shall i say ? ...
A. 17 April 2009: Just tell her, she's been waiting 15 years for this to happen it's not like she hasn't seen it coming! One of the things you expect to deal with when you are a parent to a teenage girl!... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable with my own body
Q. Hey Im hoping someone can help me. I have two n very unhappy with my body. The parts Im having the most trouble with r my inner thighs n my jelly belly. If someone out there has a solution (preferably a fast n easy one) pls help me. Anything would ...
A. 17 April 2009: Please DON'T take any products advised by an anonymous poster (try Heroin, hold on I'll just hide my name)!
Herbal remedies and pills do cause weight loss and all kinds of other dodgy symptoms!
The best way to loose weight is a healthy diet and... (read in full...)
Guys and scars
Q. i'm pointing this question mostly at the guys (and ladies, if u had something similar going on).. i've been through a surgery in the past year, which left about 2cm scars all over my chest and back - i had to remove about 30-40 tiny skin tumors...
A. 17 April 2009: OK there seems to be a lack of guys answering this question.
Guys can be shallow and can be "grossed out" by scars, I know in a perfect world we'd all look past that and see your inner beauty!
I think for now meet guys and tell them about your ... (read in full...)
I want to love him but I'm scared!
Q. I have a problem but at the moment I don't know what to do. I'm a 21 year old female and I'm depressed, I was born with a rare craniofacial disease called cruzouns syndrome, I excel at most things in life work, friends etc, but when it comes to ...
A. 17 April 2009: Get out there and get involved in everything you excel at, join clubs and groups and make as many friends as you can!
You may not believe me but, us guys are not all shallow idiots and if you are an intelligent girl that is caring and can have a g... (read in full...)
He's losing interest in me because of my lies!
Q. I'm involved in a relationship where at first I used to tell lies but at the moment the guy is realizing that I'm full of lies and I was never honest with him at the beginning of the relationship. At the beginning I took it as a joke but now when ...
A. 17 April 2009: Why not? Why can't you tell the truth from the beginning? So you can pretend to be someone you are not?
This is so silly how can you expect anyone to fall in love with you and stay in love with YOU if you aren't who you pretend to be.... (read in full...)
Pregnant or not??
Q. i have weird symptoms like unusual light period,tender breast and drops every now and then of brown blood what do these symptoms indicates. can i be pregnant?...
A. 17 April 2009: I would seriously get tested if there is any doubt at all, you can still bleed with an ectopic pregnancy!
... (read in full...)
He's losing interest in me because of my lies!
Q. I'm involved in a relationship where at first I used to tell lies but at the moment the guy is realizing that I'm full of lies and I was never honest with him at the beginning of the relationship. At the beginning I took it as a joke but now when ...
A. 17 April 2009: I went out with a girl like you, first she lied about her age (luckily she was still "legal"), later I found out she'd lied about her name! and then later on still that she had lied about a coke habit and sleeping with her drug dealer.
So excuse m... (read in full...)
Why would he say he had Gulf War Syndrome if he'd never been in the military?
Q. My husband came home from work yesterday and told me he has got Gulf War Syndrome. This doesn't make sense to me, as he's an office worker in a local distribution firm, and has never served in the military at all. Why would you say you had Gulf...
A. 17 April 2009: Are you sure he hasn't had a secret life in the SAS during the early 90's? Does he write books under the name of McNab?
Has he been involved in Medical Research or is he really dim, seen a car accident and had a nightmare afterwards, and thinks h... (read in full...)
My best friend tried to finger me!
Q. So I went on a trip with my school and I sat next to my best guy friend on the bus. It had been a long day and we were both tired so we decided to go to sleep. He layed down on my lap and I put my head on his back. I fell asleep until I felt a hand ...
A. 17 April 2009: Forget your ex! But tell this guy he would have been in the picture if he hadn't sexually assaulted you! Make him grovel a lot as what he did was SO wrong!
If you decide after he has learnt that he can't go round groping sleeping girls and that... (read in full...)
I believe some teachers are, intentionally or not, flirty.
Q. I believe some teachers are, intentionally or not, flirty. In their mannerisms, their choice of words and the way they say those words. I completely understand that a lot of teachers are just like that in nature; friendly, funny and outgoing. And I ...
A. 17 April 2009: Charismatic and flirty are also different, yet I have found that teenage girls don't know the difference.
If you are a reasonably good looking guy and charismatic, they will fall in love and think you are being flirty.
To be a good teacher you... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to fake my own death to see if she still loves me?
Q. Well basically my ex havn't been going out for ages, but I'm going out for her best mate (2 months) and she's always trying to get her to dump me but the girl i'm with doesn't want to dump me so i'm thinking. Is it wrong to fake my own death to prov...
A. 17 April 2009: Yeah thanks for that! You tool! How in anyway have any of you guys believed this?
So come on, entertain us, how are you going to "Fake" your own death? Gunshot wound to the head? Hanging, pills? (you can't do sudden disappearance nobody will bel... (read in full...)
Caught my daughter using a vibrator.
Q. im a dad and i cauht my dauther using a vibrater in her room shes 12 and what should i do...
A. 17 April 2009: It's just one of the many things that is about to shock and scare you having a teenage girl.
Just remember this is perfectly normal and consider her feelings.... How would you feel if she caught you masturbating?! Pretty embarrassed I think.
... (read in full...)
What do I do after swallowing?
Q. im going to be giving my bf a head for the first time. i know what to do and everything but im not to sure about afterwards people tell me itsa bit of a put off running sraight to the loo after swallowing to clean your teeth. do guys mind it if you ...
A. 16 April 2009: Yes try and kiss him if he doesn't want to well then I think it's perfectly acceptable to run off to the bathroom and srub your teeth.... (read in full...)
What should I do now?
Q. Heyyyy..... i need to know what i should do... Im 15 and my boyfriend is also 15, we have been together for 9 months. We had PROTECTED sex on March 14 and i missed my period and i got alot of pregnancy signs. I took one preg. test Tuesday morni...
A. 16 April 2009: Go and see a Doctor, home test kits aren't always 100% accurate and it's quite common to not follow the instructions quite properly and get an inaccurate reading.... (read in full...)
How you would feel about going with a girl 3 or 4 years younger?
Q. okay so im fourteen and i hang about with people 3 years older than me , i dont know why i suppose ive always just got on with older people better. ive only had one boyfriend before.. no boys ever like me, any i like back,. im quite a picky pers...
A. 16 April 2009: My wife is 4 years younger than me, but at 18 I would never have dated anyone under 16 and probably not anyone under 18. Sorry but kids are boring, they talk about school, can't go out to the pub with you, and if your mates find out you get branded ... (read in full...)
How you would feel about going with a girl 3 or 4 years younger?
Q. okay so im fourteen and i hang about with people 3 years older than me , i dont know why i suppose ive always just got on with older people better. ive only had one boyfriend before.. no boys ever like me, any i like back,. im quite a picky pers...
A. 16 April 2009: My wife is 4 years younger than me, but at 18 I would never have dated anyone under 16 and probably not anyone under 18. Sorry but kids are boring, they talk about school, can't go out to the pub with you, and if your mates find out you get branded ... (read in full...)
When do the birth control pills start working?
Q. I just started taking birth control pills today(Wednesday) and I'm going to be at my boyfriends house on Saturday. My Question(s) are: -Will the birth control pills start actually..working by then? -If I'm on Birth Control and he still DOES Use a...
A. 16 April 2009: NO CONDOM = NO SEX
Always use at least two forms of protection otherwise there is still a chance of pregnancy!... (read in full...)
High risk for std?
Q. I was with another guy and got some of his sperm on my penis. Does that carry any sort of high risk for std/sti?...
A. 16 April 2009: YES it is a very high risk, go and get checked out at a GU clinic! At your age you should know the dangers of fooling around without protection!... (read in full...)
I'm just wondering :)
Q. Ookay.So i was just wondering how you get std and all that other kind of contagious stuff that you can get from sexual contact. Thank you....
A. 16 April 2009: If your partner has an infection the micro-organisms (GERMS) can cross between them and you, by bodily fluids, touch and sharing sex toys etc.
There is ways of preventing STIs like any disease and that is to break the chain of infection
- Carri... (read in full...)
People feel bad after swallow my semen. Why?
Q. Hi...I have a curious question and i really dont know how or where start to search about it..the problem is: Everybody man/woman who swallow my cum/sperm/semen or when I blow inside tha anus(anal sex without condom) feels bad after a few ...
A. 16 April 2009: We can't advise medically on here but what I can say is wear a CONDOM and then your semen won't have to enter them till you have been to a doctor!... (read in full...)
Is he over his wife or are the feelings still lingering
Q. My man and I age difference is 31 years apart. He has 3 grown kids plus my son. I love him and he says he loves me but every time we have a conversation he has to bring up his ex wife who cheated. Does he still love her or miss her. Although he says...
A. 16 April 2009: Do you think that anyone who, promised in front of God that he loved and cherished this woman, would loose all feelings for her?
She obviously had a huge impact on his life, had two of his children and then she hurt him by cheating on him. He ... (read in full...)
Parents responsible for children's happiness?
Q. How much parents responsible for their children's happiness? My children are grown ups no, but they are all of them totally unhappy. seroius drug problems, not finding love, not finding anything good about life. Also , financial dependence,and...
A. 15 April 2009: I can understand helping them out if they are in full time education or have suddenly lost their job.
But to fund a drug habit... Not a chance! It's their own doing, I would make a compromise, clean up and get a job and help out a little, ... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there think I am being selfish and ungrateful?
Q. I've been dating a man for about 2.5 years. I'm living with him as I had to give up my condo to enter alcohol rehab for a month. I maxed out all my credit cards to pay the $12K costs of treatment and am up to my ears in debt. Prior to this ...
A. 15 April 2009: I can see both sides to this and I think he is being quite harsh, maybe moving out is a good idea, sort yourself out and then see if you can be bothered going back to him.
It sounds to me like he doesn't understand depression at all and I know it'... (read in full...)
Was I unreasonable about his cheating?
Q. My bf cheated on me in feb with his ex gf and after alot of tears on both sides i agreed to take him back,On the condition he have NO contact with her.My exact words were "no calls,texts,online talk, Dont talk to her in lessons or anything at scho...
A. 15 April 2009: Good on you! I think you have been very fair, but as the others have said, make sure you stick to your guns... One sniff and he's gone!... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex
Q. Me a girl had unprotected sex, and she has not been on the pill for two weeks, but started to take it again after we had sex, will she be protected? ...
A. 15 April 2009: NO she won't!... (read in full...)
What to look for if I might be pregnant?
Q. right, me and my boyfriend are both 15 years old and has sex yesterday (were both virgins). i have been on the pill about 3 weeks but we used a condom for xtra protection. the condom broke and his pre-cum may have got inside me, do you think i will ...
A. 15 April 2009: (I won't give you the age lecture because you know what you did was stupid, but please don't tell us what advise you want.)
It's unlikely you are pregnant if it was just pre-cum, and you have been taking the pill properly, but it maybe worth se... (read in full...)
Can a guy hook up with a girl multile times and have no feelings for her?
Q. Can a guy really hook up with a girl multipile times and have no feelings for her what so ever? like is this really true? Ive heard guys can not even care what she looks like and they have no feelings for them?...
A. 15 April 2009: I have friends who go out on "Pull a Pig" nights, they get drunk and see who can sleep with the ugliest women possible.
Some men really are pigs, sorry to break the bad news.
This applies only to some men, the problem is finding the nice... (read in full...)
My fiance likes to wear my daughter's underwear!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend/fiance for a year now and we live together along with my 15 yr old daughter and his 15 yr old son.. about 4 months into our relationship I did a load of laundry for him and found a pair of womens underware in his ...
A. 15 April 2009: I would confront him about this, it is not a healthy "Fetish" at all and I agree that your daughter shouldn't be subjected to his inappropriate behaviour. there is too much temptation for him to go beyond looking with her around. Would you trust a ... (read in full...)
Sex is too painful for my fiancee!
Q. OK, i have been with this girl for a year now, we are 15 years old. We really do love each other, we actually recently became engaged. Please don't comment on the engagement part though. She says that she is ready to have sex, we have tried twice, ...
A. 15 April 2009: This is why you shouldn't have sex at 15!... (read in full...)
Showing some scary symptoms....what is happening to me?
Q. hi. i now this is nothing to do with the subject but im very frightend and i need some quick advice. im 17 and im having these strange symptoms. * Cant Breath. * Blurry Vision. * My hands feel huge. * My head feels huge. * My Left Arm is w...
A. 15 April 2009: Call NHS Direct on 0845 4647, we cannot diagnose you here online when you have been to hospital, and are awaiting tests it takes more than a list of symptoms to make a diagnosis!
But I do notice that your hand eye co-ordination is good enough t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a threesome but can barely perform in bed when he is with me!
Q. My boyfriend is constantly masterbating and watches porn from 1-8 hours a day. He searches partner finders in hopes to add a third party in the bedroom. However, whenever we have sex he can only perform half of the ime....
A. 15 April 2009: Have a threesome he'll be spent in two seconds and you and the other guy can enjoy yourselves! While he looks on helplessly!... (read in full...)
Severe round ligament pain during pregnancy
Q. Hi. I'm 18 years old and 6 months pregnant. For about a month, maybe a little more I've had round ligament pain. It's gotten so severe that at times I can't even stand up. I went to the doctor yesterday but he got called to do an emergency c-section ...
A. 15 April 2009: A warm bath is often a good non-medicinal way to relieve the pain of soft tissue injuries. But if your Doctor can't prescribe anything I would be really careful taking anything that is advised here, at the end of the day your doctor has a license he ... (read in full...)
Am I worrying too much?
Q. HELP!!! Ma friend hasnt been online for over a week i love her to pieces, she knows i love her, but i'm worried sick over her, she has been online once, only once, this week :( from the time i came back from holiday until now (sunday i came back and ...
A. 15 April 2009: Yes you are worrying FAR too much, and of course you can e-mail her and tell her how you feel.
Maybe she is on holiday, or her computer is broken, or her parents have grounded her and that includes internet privileges. There are so many reasons ... (read in full...)
Sees me out, we have sex, and then he doesn't get back to me! Its happened twice!
Q. Im gonna be honest from the start about my problem and would like honest answers. Back in December I slept with a man who afterwards didnt want to know me because I had a drug problem. I did have a cocaine problem until January of this year when his ...
A. 15 April 2009: This sounds very strange and one sided, I think without sounding too mean, he has used you and knows he can go out, say a few sweet things and bed you! He's done that 3 times already and still isn't putting any effort in.
I understand you have... (read in full...)
Can a guy hook up with a girl multile times and have no feelings for her?
Q. Can a guy really hook up with a girl multipile times and have no feelings for her what so ever? like is this really true? Ive heard guys can not even care what she looks like and they have no feelings for them?...
A. 13 April 2009: Yes it's very true!... (read in full...)
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