A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:The day before my birthday my partner decided to break off the relationship for three reasons, first that I was too emotionally dependent on him, the second that he was holding me back from my dreams and the third being that he doesn't trust his self when he goes to Uni in September. We'd been high school sweet hearts and lasted 5 years. He signed up to the military and have only recently finished his phase one, throughout the training he'd tell me how much he missed and loved me, he even brought up the idea of getting married the following year, but then realised he had commitment issues. I'm quite surprised by my reaction to his breakup, it was so out of the blue that I considered it to be shock. The thing is he texted me to tell me he didn't want the relationship to go on, I tried to change his mind hoping that we'd stay together. Throughout the day any little reminder of him killed, I boxed all the things that he bought me and put them in a cupboard so I could have time to be me. I told my family I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, he'd planned a day out for me and I didn't want to face the world. Instead my mum took me on a retail therapy trip to take my mind off of things. The part I'm surprised about is the fact that I don't seem to care about it anymore, things that remind me of him don't bother me, memories don't hurt and to be honest I have started to question if I actually loved him towards the end (maybe I was just comfortable, or knew the end was coming so I preparing). Now I'm looking forward to the future, the idea of going to see friends and have a life outside of him.The problem is I'm not sleeping and when I do I dream of him which wakes me up and I then can't sleep again.My question is, is this normal or am I just in shock? He only broke it off three days ago!
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (25 August 2014):
 Well its both actually. Its normal to be in shock and you're taking your time to process things because they just happened so fast.
I think you're dealing with it very well though and you should give yourself credit for that. Maybe at some level you did knew that it was going to come to an end, maybe you could sense it, like some people say they can smell a thunderstorm long before it hits. Maybe at some level you're also relieved that its over but now that it is, you're finding it hard to process it. Your mind is racing and even though you want to be rational about it, you're constantly thinking about why he did what he did and did you make a mistake anywhere for him to break things off?
All completely normal questions and qualms but I'll tell you what OP. Whatever happens is for the best. Just accept this and you'll see how much happier that makes you. Things were not meant to work out with this guy and they didn't. Someone much, much better will come along and then you'll look back at this relationship and think, wow..."I'm so glad that things didn't work out!"
A
female
reader, cloud21  +, writes (24 August 2014):
It probably just hasn't sunk in yet. It's hard after being with someone that long and it will hit you hard. The free time you all of sudden have is amazing and it is normal to feel free. The world has suddenly opened to all sorts of possibilities with no one holding you back from doing anything, you can hang out with anyone, you can flirt and so forth . It is said that people dream of A. Your biggest fear or B. You biggest desire.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 August 2014):
 Ye, it's normal; ... and, yes, you're in shock.... HOWEVER,
...Let's go back to the break-up. The three points that you enumerated ALL fall in to the category of "... it's not you; it's me....." which, as we all know, is B/S!!!
He has/had been fixin' to break thing off with you... and used the CLASSIC line (" it's not... it's me...) in the hopes that THAT would, somehow, let you down more delicately. Unfortunately, not only does it not cushion the blow of the break-up.... but, once analyzed, reveals the miscreant for the creep that he has been.
Be happy to be rid of this guy..... and get on with your life, and enjoy it,.... and pray that you don't run in to such a creature in the future...
Good luck...
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