A
female
age
26-29,
*ocker_grl_96
writes:So recently I was asked by a friend I have know since I was five if I wanted to have sex with him in a fwb kinda thing. My problem with this is that I am virgin. I'm just wondering what are some experiences anybody has had with losing their virginity in a friends with benefits or one night stand situation? Anything helps thanks!
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male
reader, Dr. R  +, writes (11 September 2014):
What did you finally do? The majority said "wait" for the right person (and I would agree), but some have done fine with ONS or FWB. Remember, you only get one "first" for your entire life....
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 August 2014):
 Is this the same old friend of yours whom you like but he likes ANOTHER girl who turned him down ?...
How flattering, to start your sex life as a plan B.
Well, of course an FWB is a plan B by definition, because if you were a plan A, he would be dating you, not just f...ing you. But, at least, if you don't know the other girl and the whole background story, you don't have to be slapped in your face, like, with your plan B status.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2014): Funny - read a lot of these posts - no one regrets it - they just wish it was in different circumstances with a different person....
Long story short. I know plenty of people who wish they waited for the right person. I know of no one who waited for the right person who wishes it was with someone random.
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A
female
reader, AnnaSalenaz +, writes (20 August 2014):
I lost my virginity 5 months ago and it was kind of like a one night stand type of thing or at least at the time that's how it was, honestly it's not how I pictured losing my virginity, he had been drinking, we were just friends and yes I had/have feelings for him. I don't regret losing it to the guy I did.
anyway point being, I would save it for someone you truely care about. Save yourself for someone who cares about you. These other people who have commented have some good advice, I wish I would have asked them like you did before I lost my virginity.
Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 August 2014):
 The proper response is "NO THANK YOU I'm waiting till I meet the right person."
I was too young when I lost my virginity and while I do not regret it, I do advise young women to wait until they meet the first Mr. Right. NOT to save it for marriage but just until it's with someone special.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (19 August 2014):
 My advice don't give yourself heart aches, & regrets to look back on. you are selling yourself out cheap by ONs, OR FWB.
Don't give your virginity away like its a phone no.you can get any guy cheaply, make a guy respect you. have self respect, and you will get the right type of guys.
if you give it out freely, easily you will get the one,s that are after what they can get from you & then off to the next girl to take advantage of.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 August 2014):
 I did that. I wasn't asked by a friend, I was the one to do the asking. I was 16 and horny. Mind you, 16 is the age of consent in Norway. I support people waiting until the law in their country saying it's ok... It's just good practice. Anyway, I've always been a tad bit more interested in sex than my peers, was curious, of age, and with no boyfriend. I did however have a bunch of male friends back then, and I picked the one I thought was most likely to say yes. He was a virgin too btw. It was nerve wrecking to ask him. And at first I think he thought I was joking, or he didn't know what to say. I had to seduce him actually, before I got him around. We had some sleepovers where we would just lay and talk, and then eventually kiss, and then we took it from there.
It wasn't a really bad experience, nor was it a good one. If I had the chance to go back I'd change things a bit. Like, pick someone else, or just be patient and wait for a boyfriend. Life holds no guarantees, but what happened was that this guy I picked wasn't really a nice guy at all. He was selfish and immature, like most boys that age. I was also immature. I hadn't realized, but having sex actually did make me feel like I should be special to him somehow. That we were each others special friends, or something. But he didn't treat me any nicer than before, and actually he was a lousy friend too! So I guess I had unrealistic expectations without realizing it. FWB is not for everyone. Most people DO end up feeling emotionally attached. That was the first and only time I ever fell into that emotional trap. But I did go into it thinking I only wanted sex from him, and when it all came down to it, what I was wanting in the end was his friendship. We stopped being friends not long after.
But as for the sex itself... Nah, I doubt it'd had been any better or worse had it been with someone else. First time sex is going to be awkward no matter what, me thinks. I do however think it is less awkward, and better for the two involved, if they are in a happy relationship before having sex. Just to be clear about where you stand with one another before doing it, and also because for most people there will be an emotional effect of having sex. You will feel closer to the person you have sex with, and that can go badly if that intimacy isn't allowed because you're supposedly "just friends".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): OMG I never write back to these things, but I just had to because I was in the same situation.All my friends were having sex and I was still a virgin at 23. I ended up losing my virginity to my best friend in college and I am so happy that I did. He was my best friend and I slept in his bed all the time. We could never date eachother, we didn't see each other that way, which is what made it work.I was never really able to stay friends with any of my exes. If you loose your virginity to someone that matters, the loss if they dump you and move on to someone else will be much harder to get over. My best friend, Dan was always my best friend. One he got a girl friend, he wouldn't let me touch him, but I would still get to sleepover in his bed. He through me a birthday party every year in undergrad with his friends.We've been friends for 10 years, stopped having sex like 8 years ago. He made me prepared for sex in a relationship. Guys today dump girls for being bad at sex or inexperienced. I know if a few guys who dumped girls as soon as they learned that the girl was a virgin. Guys can be jerks!
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 August 2014):
 I will echo the rest o the uncles and aunties.
Don't "sell" yourself so short. If your "friend" thinks you are "good" enough to bang but no more than honestly HE isn't good enough for your FIRST time.
You may think it's not a big deal now. But.. give it a little time and you will find that CHOOSING to have sex with a person for the first time DO matter. And doing it because "well he is offering and I like him well enough to get naked with him" is an attitude that kind of sounds like you are more doing this for HIM and to please HIM rather than what YOU want for your first time.
Like the others said, wait.
I had several actually chances to have just plain sex with people whom I wasn't dating, didn't have any deep feelings for and I declined and waited. It was worth the wait. We didn't last "forever" lol but we were together a good 4 1/2 years. And it's a FOND memory.
I have so many friends who jumped into bed with a guy NOT because they rEALLY wanted to, but because they hoped to make the guy happy, and because they thought it may not matter at all. IT does.
I would say the same to a guy, btw. Your first time (anyone's first time) should be a sharing of love and lust, not just lust.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): Sex is seen different for girls than for guys.
Though girls nowdays try to pretend that they are equal to guys in this aspect, it's not equal. When a guy tells you that he wants to be FWB, it means only one thing: you are not good enough for him to date you. Never buy this BS: I don't want to bein a relationship at this point of my life. it's never true. It only means one thing: at this point of his life he doesn't want to be with YOU in a relationship.
One night stands never made any sense to me from women point of view. What do they get out of it. Considering our physical differences most women don't get orgazms with a complete stranger, neither a stranger puts any effort to satisfy his partner, usually. It's usually a selfish act on mans part, but whhywomen do it, I don't get it. If its only sex, then even more so, one night stands are useless, because usually sex is not satisfactory for women.
The only conclusion I come to that neither of the situation are favorable to loose virginity in. A decent guy would never ask you in a first place to be friends with benefits with him, especially if he knows you are a virgin.
And the fact that you know him since childhood means nothing. I have few assholes in mylife forever and wish I never crossed my path with them.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (19 August 2014):
 Don't do it. Wait for the right guy and the right time...when you're in a relationship with someone you love and feel safe with. What's the hurry about losing your virginity anyway? And FWB's are a disastrous idea under any circumstances, more so when you're a virgin.
Remember, no one ever regrets waiting.
You wont ever see any posts here that say I wish I had lost my virginity sooner but you'll always hear people say, "I wish I'd waited".
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): Don't do this and lose him as a friend, he isn't a friend, he is just trying to use you. Find someone who you love and who is your long term bf or husband for first time sex.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 August 2014):
 I wouldn't have and did not. I waited until I was 19 and I thought I was with my forever guy. As it turned out he was controlling and jealous and basically a nightmare.
If you knew without a doubt that this was the best decision then you would have gone and done it already. So, if you want my opinion, it's a shitty crappy idea and you should not do it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 August 2014):
 This old guy thinks that a girl's virginity is too precious to be given out in a ONS or FWB arrangement as if it was a breath-mint. Love yourself enough to hold on to your integrity....
Good luck..
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