Like what
she writes?
... Add *usan Strict to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *usan Strict a private message | | | *usan Strict's profile:Writer and publisher of fiction, including books for children and young adults, science fiction, horror, mystery, and some strictly adult fantasy novels.
Married with three children, living south of London in the UK.
And what qualifies me to help people? Many things, I guess, but not least because I had many tempestuous (I like that word) relationships before I finally settled with my permanent partner and realised how fulfilling a long-term relationship can be. |
|
Try Jesus, 9 out of 10 jews can't be wrong.
Q. Good Evening London. Theres times when i come to this place and i lose all hope and faith in mankind. It seems to be that time of year where the birds and the bees are at it.. how they manage that i'll never know. And everyone if meeting n...
A. 1 June 2008: I think it has everything to do with the original post.
But, unfortunately, on this occasion I reluctantly find myself leaping to the defense of the wicked Doctor.
The point, that I have a feeling he is trying to get across and that the last fe... (read in full...)
Am I confusing girls by being "That Nice Guy"?
Q. When I read your article, it really hit me hard. I am that nice guy that you discribed. The only thing is that I am not afraid to approach females. In my life, I have appoach many women in bars, clubs, book stores etc. My problem is that for one, I ...
A. 1 June 2008: You're confusing "nice" with "not capable".
Strength, or leadership, or being a provider, or even forcefulness doesn't exclude "nice".
You don't have to be nasty to be sucessful with women, or in your career, or to be socially successful, or i... (read in full...)
My ex said she had a one night stand, why is this cutting me up?
Q. Okay, here's the situation... My Ex-Girlfriend I broke up with in November was my first love and real relationship, I broke up with for treating me horribly and because I suspected she had Hypomania calls me everyday. She gets drunk then calls...
A. 27 May 2008: Rey,
It's still possible that I've got this badly wrong, but the more I read of what you are saying about her and about yourself, the more I'm convinced that whether you realise it or not you are very much in love with her - and it seems to... (read in full...)
Try Jesus, 9 out of 10 jews can't be wrong.
Q. Good Evening London. Theres times when i come to this place and i lose all hope and faith in mankind. It seems to be that time of year where the birds and the bees are at it.. how they manage that i'll never know. And everyone if meeting n...
A. 27 May 2008: How did you think that an article with a title that starts "Try Jesus..." wouldn't turn into a "religious thing"?
* puzzled *... (read in full...)
Try Jesus, 9 out of 10 jews can't be wrong.
Q. Good Evening London. Theres times when i come to this place and i lose all hope and faith in mankind. It seems to be that time of year where the birds and the bees are at it.. how they manage that i'll never know. And everyone if meeting n...
A. 25 May 2008: I disagree completely.
It doesn’t matter that many, many of the questions asked show a complete lack of basic knowledge and common sense. “Stupid” is subjective, and “stupid” is a label applied by those who do not understand and, more importan... (read in full...)
Is his refusal to talk about things a form of abuse?
Q. I am a divorced single mom with 2 boys and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He physically abused me on a couple of occasions several months into our relationship. The second time it happened I called the police. He was arrested ...
A. 25 May 2008: I don't think this question is nearly as straightforward as it might seem on first reading.
I think you might need to step back and look at the way both of you are behaving towards each other. I think you may need to look at counselling, together... (read in full...)
Time to end the fling with the married man?
Q. I have been involved with a married man for 2and a half months and things started off really well and he used to pay me so much attention but recently, things have just gone downhill he hardly calls or makes any effort to stay in touch. Although ...
A. 25 May 2008: Leaving aside the moral issues of becoming involved with someone married or who has a partner, take a look at the practical issues of your relationship.
Your question title asks whether you should end this fling. The answer may be in asking y... (read in full...)
What does a kiss tell about a person...
Q. Now this may sound rubbish but this is how you can tell how the person likes you, by the kiss they give you! Kiss on the cheek mean you are friends Kiss on the hands means i really like you Kiss on the lips means i love you Kiss on t...
A. 24 May 2008: Waz!
Don't be such a swine. You're not the only one whose curly tale has more than a little kink in it. It takes more than that to bring home the bacon, even if it is a little rasher of you to admit it. Stop hamming it up. I bet it's all pork... (read in full...)
Are black men different in bed?
Q. Hi I would like some honest answer. my wife and i have a great sex life that involves having sex with others at swinger parties. resently we have watched a few home made pornos from the net that have had large black fellow in. these have realy...
A. 23 May 2008: Er, it's a long time ago, but from my (limited *blush*) experience:
Black man are larger and lazier than central/northern Europeans.
Mediterranean men are hot and enthusiastic, but tend to rush it.
The French think they know it all - and always... (read in full...)
Any advice for a ginger guy?
Q. Hi i am 18 and i have never really had a girlfriend and i have been unfortunate enough to be born with the worst astetically pleasing hair colour. ( thats my excuse). i dont think i am that unattractive (apart from the above) but it seem that i ...
A. 23 May 2008: Ginger is great. Ginger is wonderful. Personally I prefer to call it "pure gold"!
I'm ginger and so is my partner, although as he pointed out when I answered another ginger question on here, some of it is a little grey in places these days. A... (read in full...)
He's working so much and is so tired and depressed, I don't know how to help him!
Q. My husband is constantly depressed and there is nothing I can do to help him. He works 6 days a week, 12 hr days and is always tired. By the time he gets home at 8pm he just wants to have his dinner and go to sleep. We rarely even make love...maybe ...
A. 23 May 2008: It's the life choices you make, and only you and your husband can decide those. You set your priorities between you, and if those are for a reasonably nice house and everything that goes with that - then yes, you may well need to work long hours ... (read in full...)
How can I tell her she's pretty without leting her know I like her?
Q. If a girl says she looks bad in her picture what can I say positive to make her feel good without being corny or giving signs that I like her???...
A. 23 May 2008: No girl of any age EVER minds being told she looks good, no matter who is saying it.
Except, of course, that if it's coming from someone she has been with for more than twenty years then she's quite likely to say suspiciously "What are you afte... (read in full...)
Is it normal being turned on by incest?
Q. i am easily turned on by incest!! watching it, not doing it!! is normal or weird?...
A. 23 May 2008: As Waz says, many of us have had weird and even perverted thoughts at some point, particularly in our teens.
You need to keep in mind that although there may be some debate on just what constitutes incest, incest is considered illegal and immoral ... (read in full...)
Can I date my child's teacher?
Q. This isn't a totally serious question, and is somewhat tongue in cheek ;o) buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... Went to my childs parents evening last night and quite liked one of his teachers! I picked up a bit of chemistry. Funnily enough, when me and my child...
A. 23 May 2008: Of course you can date your child's teacher, assuming there aren't other reasons that would make a relationship difficult or impossible (like he's married, or you are).
But... your child is just going to be SO embarrassed!! Can you imagine ... (read in full...)
He's a millionaire but won't give me money for a deposit, how can I make him regret this?
Q. I am a 25 year old female who has been involved with a married man for 3 years. We have an okay relationship, I dont ask him for much or expect much from him at. I respect his private life, and know where not to cross the line. He is a millionaire, ...
A. 23 May 2008: Why is he a millionaire? Evidently because he is careful with his money.
Threaten him? Scare him? Well, that's one sure way of losing him.
Why are you with him? Why are you his mistress? Because you love him? It doesn't sound like it. ... (read in full...)
Does watching/playing 'Lolicon' turn you into a pedophile?
Q. I'm a 16-year-old male and have been thinking about lolicon. I played a few lolicon online games when I was 12 and found it to kind of turn me on. I by no means like the real stuff, I find the idea repulsive but it's different when it comes to this. ...
A. 22 May 2008: It's ILLEGAL in Canada, and there have been successful prosecutions resulting in prison sentences.
It's not currently illegal in the UK, but might be very soon (the recent Crimnal Justice Act doesn't cover it but does cover some other types of... (read in full...)
How do I make my boobs bigger, and will that attract a boyfriend?
Q. I have tiny boobs and i have no boyfriend, how do i make my boobs bigger, and will that attract a boyfriend?...
A. 22 May 2008: "I MUST, I MUST,
I MUST improve my BUST."
Er, no. It won't attract a boyfriend.
It might attract a boy with half a brain who is so shortsighted he can't see past the size of your boobs. It might even get you on page three of The Sun in ... (read in full...)
My husband has a very bad temper. I'm tired of this endless cycle!
Q. My husband has a very bad temper. He always "blows up" and we get into a physical fight when we disagree. The other day he saw a baby picture of my brother in I in our photo album. He told me to take it out and stash it somewhere if I wanted to keep ...
A. 22 May 2008: If he won't recognise that he has an anger problem, then you have two choices: either get out, or try to deal with it.
Anger can be stopped and the cycle broken, but it's not easy. You must be determined and very controlled. If you can't do... (read in full...)
Welcome to Unprotected-Sex - The City of Sin
Q. Hey! Welcome to Unprotected-Sex. More and more tourists visit Unprotected-Sex every year, and we're sure there'll be more! While you're stopping, why not relax with the guy you met just a few minutes ago over a few vodkas at Cinema Syphilis...
A. 22 May 2008: I prefer the old Jules Verne classics.
Like "Twenty Thousand Viruses Under the Skin" or "Around the Genitals in Eighty Spots".... (read in full...)
I've been dating this girl for 5 months...am I taking things too slowly? My last gf broke me heart...am I just not opening up?
Q. I have been dating this girl for about 5 months. She's amazing. Our relationship is very casual. We go out to eat every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday...we hold hands, text nonstop, hug....but we haven't really kissed. In the relationship, she ...
A. 22 May 2008: If the idea of love is too soon for you in this relationship, then keep it simple.
Send her a reply, if you haven't already. A single x is enough. You don't have to respond with the words. Not yet. Maybe later, if and when you are ready.
... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose the spark in our relationship, but it's getting that way because of money issues.
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend and i have just bought a house and we are finding it hard with money, we are coping, just, but can't find the time to save money. We want to go out and do things but we can't afford it, so we stay home and watch the tv. I ...
A. 22 May 2008: Never mind experimenting in the kitchen.
Experiment in the bedroom!... (read in full...)
I've been swinging for the past 2 years...should I take it further even though I'm married??
Q. hi i am nat i have been swinging for the last 2 years really in joy it looking to go a bit further in to orgys looking to have sex with 20 guys or more do u think this is a wise move as i am married??????...
A. 21 May 2008: Technical point, but isn't that gangbanging rather than swinging? If I understand it correctly, the whole point about swinging is that you AND your partner do it at the same time on a one-to-one basis with other swingers?
Ugh.
Or perhaps I'... (read in full...)
Am I confusing girls by being "That Nice Guy"?
Q. When I read your article, it really hit me hard. I am that nice guy that you discribed. The only thing is that I am not afraid to approach females. In my life, I have appoach many women in bars, clubs, book stores etc. My problem is that for one, I ...
A. 21 May 2008: "Nice guys finish last"?
Last? Or "lasting"?
Immature and shallow women might like the rugged caveman who sweeps them off their feet and doesn't given them a moment to think about it before they find themselves in bed with him. Sure, it's... (read in full...)
I'm having dreams of other guys, what does it mean?
Q. Hi everyone! I am having some strange dreams lately, I have a boyfriend whom I am very happy with, but I keep having dreams that I am with other men. They are not sexual, but I have dreamt of being with my ex (I was sitting on his lap and he had h...
A. 21 May 2008: The reply from "anonymous female":
"You don't stop fancying other people automatically just because you are with someone"
It's worth saying again.
And adding that there are probably a million people out there who are more attractive than the ... (read in full...)
My ex said she had a one night stand, why is this cutting me up?
Q. Okay, here's the situation... My Ex-Girlfriend I broke up with in November was my first love and real relationship, I broke up with for treating me horribly and because I suspected she had Hypomania calls me everyday. She gets drunk then calls...
A. 20 May 2008: Hi Rey. Yes, I take your point, and I found your earlier post. You have the opportunity to actually see her behaviour, so I guess you could well be right. If I understand hypomania correctly (and human behaviour and behaviour disorders are my ... (read in full...)
My 3 year old is masturbating, how should I to handle this? Is it normal?
Q. hi i'm a mom, i have a question if a girl 3 year old she is masturbation herself is normal? if it is what can i do for that, to me is not normal cos she just too baby please somebody help me?...
A. 20 May 2008: Ha. Yes. It's so embarrassing, and totally unexpected when they do it. I had no idea, after having three boys growing up and no problem at that age. I suppose it's one of those things that few of us have any memory of doing ourselves.
And y... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a vibrator at 16?
Q. I'm sixteen and I'm a virgin. I plan to stay a virgin for a long time. I'm writing this because I have simple question to ask. My mother doesn't want me to talk to boys and I've told her that I wouldn't Now the dating/sex age for my family is ...
A. 20 May 2008: Absolutely no problem using a vibrator. It's not wrong. It's not bad. It's definitely not anything to feel guity about.
But... why is there always a "but"?! But don't use it as the sole substitute for relationships and friendships. There's ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that he will cheat on me. 23 years between us.
Q. 23 years between us, both been thru alot, and i am way way inlove, if anythings happenes to us im not afraid to say that i wud be able to live without him,we broke up for a week becuase i got drunk and kissed another bloke, i took an overdose, ...
A. 20 May 2008: 23 years is a big age-gap if you are 16-17. Hopefully he has the maturity and calm to guide you through, because from your description of what has happened you have a long way to go.
Will he cheat on you? Highly unlikely. You increase the risk... (read in full...)
We've been together for 6 years after meeting on line. I dislike his on line activity and do not trust him, should I end it?
Q. My boyfriend has been chatting online to strangers. I know that he has done it in the past and he promised that he wouldn't do it again. He has said that he hasnt and doesnt want to meet any of them but I feel I cant trust him. Should I try agai...
A. 20 May 2008: It's a choice you are going to have to make.
The chances are that he can't understand why what he is doing is so disrespectful to you and why it is upsetting you so much. Equally, the chances are that it doesn't amount to any more than online "... (read in full...)
We've been together for 6 years after meeting on line. I dislike his on line activity and do not trust him, should I end it?
Q. My boyfriend has been chatting online to strangers. I know that he has done it in the past and he promised that he wouldn't do it again. He has said that he hasnt and doesnt want to meet any of them but I feel I cant trust him. Should I try agai...
A. 20 May 2008: OK. That's a completely different matter.
No, you shouldn't put up with that. It's not so much that he "plays" online, but that he lies to you about it and tries to hide it. That's wrong. Completely wrong.
But six years is a long relati... (read in full...)
We've been together for 6 years after meeting on line. I dislike his on line activity and do not trust him, should I end it?
Q. My boyfriend has been chatting online to strangers. I know that he has done it in the past and he promised that he wouldn't do it again. He has said that he hasnt and doesnt want to meet any of them but I feel I cant trust him. Should I try agai...
A. 20 May 2008: Chatting online to anyone isn't a problem any more than chatting to someone in a shop or at the bus stop.
Unless you have reason to believe there is more to it, then you really need to chill out and be a little more trusting. Are you going to... (read in full...)
My ex said she had a one night stand, why is this cutting me up?
Q. Okay, here's the situation... My Ex-Girlfriend I broke up with in November was my first love and real relationship, I broke up with for treating me horribly and because I suspected she had Hypomania calls me everyday. She gets drunk then calls...
A. 20 May 2008: You don't say in what way she "treated you so badly" and made you break up with her back in November.
From your description of her, she sounds fairly scatty (that may be a UK-English-only word!) but not necessarily hypomanic. Hypomania usua... (read in full...)
Any natural way to get more energy and combat depression?
Q. Any natural ways to get more energy???? Vitamins or shakes, anything will help, i think it's a bit of depression too. thanx...
A. 20 May 2008: Exercise? Up to a point. Don't overdo it. I did! Ouch. Also, when you slow down again, you put on weight very fast.
Getting plenty of sleep is good. When you go to bed, let your mind drift. Make up a fantasy (it doesn't have to be sexual!)... (read in full...)
She insists that we be friends, is she saving me as an option to be with later in life?
Q. This girl that i've known since 8th grade has been one of the closet friends that I have ever had, we always talk, hang out, flirt, party together, kissed here and there, have the same group of friends etc....but we do have our share of nasty ...
A. 20 May 2008: It may be exactly as she is telling you, that she really wants you as a friend and nothing further. If that's so, then you can't do very much other than accept it and enjoy the friendship.
There may be a little more to it, and you will only rea... (read in full...)
Is this site legal?
Q. hi i no this isnt a relationship question but ive heard some other aunts talking about it before, is ******.com illegal in the UK? thanks xx [moderator comment: site name removed. No it's not illegal. Just inappropriate]...
A. 20 May 2008: The moderator's comment answers the question, even if the moderator thought the site inappropriate to be displayed in these forums. Which would have been the only way to answer an anonymous question.
It makes sense. I think.... (read in full...)
My husband caught me having sex with my cousin
Q. Im married with kids but not long ago my husband caught me having sex with me cousin. I realise that i love my cousin, an that i have tried to ignore my feelings an so as he, but we can't. We love each other, i'm older than he is (by 14yrs)an family ...
A. 19 May 2008: Yes it's legal with your cousin in the UK. And yes you have a much greater chance that any children you have will have problems that might include deformities or mental illness.
And no, you are wrong. The risk doesn't increase by 2-3%. The risk... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant the day you finish your period?
Q. can you get pregnant the day you come off your period.?...
A. 19 May 2008: In normal circumstances it is unlikely. But it is possible.
There is significant evidence that sperm may survive for a week (maybe more) after ejaculation, although outside the body it's unlikely to be for longer than an hour at the most.... (read in full...)
Has anyone got engaged young, and if so, did it last or not?
Q. My boyfreind asked me to marry him and i said yes. I just wonder if anyone else has been engaged so young? Im so happy;-) ...
A. 19 May 2008: Oops.
Oh well. It was worth saying twice.... (read in full...)
Has anyone got engaged young, and if so, did it last or not?
Q. My boyfreind asked me to marry him and i said yes. I just wonder if anyone else has been engaged so young? Im so happy;-) ...
A. 19 May 2008: Congratulations.
I ought to say that the odds are against it. Few people who start a relationship as young as you are manage to make it last...
Hey! Don't take any notice! It's wonderful. Grab it with everything you've got and MAKE it work... (read in full...)
Has anyone got engaged young, and if so, did it last or not?
Q. My boyfreind asked me to marry him and i said yes. I just wonder if anyone else has been engaged so young? Im so happy;-) ...
A. 19 May 2008: Congratulations.
I ought to say that the odds are against it. Few people who start a relationship as young as you are manage to make it last...
Hey! Don't take any notice! It's wonderful. Grab it with everything you've got and MAKE it work... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is still in love with his ex!! What do you think?
Q. i think my boyfriend is still in love with his ex. we have been together eight months and i have found two dvds of her and he said he name in his sleep. he has also gone to meet her at the start of the relationship and i dont knoe if i can trust ...
A. 19 May 2008: I think you need to be very careful, and most certainly you should not put up with him ever, ever putting you second to any ex. If he is with you, then he puts you first. Anything else is wrong and unreasonable.
But, it's never that simple. ... (read in full...)
He pinched the brides butt at the wedding, am I overreacting?
Q. My husband was groomsman at his best friends wedding. I attended as a guest and enjoyed meeting family and friends on both sides and was proud to say my husband is groomsman and looking stunning in his suit. We endured wedding speeches for 2 ...
A. 19 May 2008: Has there ever been a wedding when someone hasn't done or said something highly embarrassing? You were just unlucky that this time it was your husband who did it.
If it were my partner who had done it... he'd go without sex for a week. (And ... (read in full...)
That disappointed look on her beautiful face when she is not satisfied in bed... discourages me even more!? Help!
Q. i have been with my girlfriend for almost two years now, and i plan to marry her soon. everything seems to be going well except for one thing. our sex life. we are both 17 and have been tring everything to make sex work but something always goes ...
A. 19 May 2008: You already know the answer. Don't masturbate as much. It's not really difficult, but it takes a bit of willpower. It's far easier to give up, or at least reduce the frequency, than most "addictions" like smoking or alcohol. And it's no good ... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair?
Q. Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair? haha, My boyfriend always laughs. I'm cool with it as it's always mostly gone anyways. We have a real giggle. But no one in my family is ginger. They say they're all black. I have NATURALLY dark h...
A. 19 May 2008: Humph.
Silver.... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair?
Q. Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair? haha, My boyfriend always laughs. I'm cool with it as it's always mostly gone anyways. We have a real giggle. But no one in my family is ginger. They say they're all black. I have NATURALLY dark h...
A. 19 May 2008: It's not ginger. It's gold, pure gold.
Mine is. ... (read in full...)
| *usan Strict's friends
These are mutual friends, so *usan Strict has
added them and they have added *usan Strict!
|
