A
male
age
41-50,
*ave31
writes:When I read your article, it really hit me hard. I am that nice guy that you discribed. The only thing is that I am not afraid to approach females. In my life, I have appoach many women in bars, clubs, book stores etc. My problem is that for one, I have trouble showing interest in a girl without being "That Nice Guy". Second When a female shows off signs that she is interested in me, I confuse them for her just being nice. I have had plenty of females that thought I was attracted. If going by what the female told me how attractive I was. I would say I was between a score of 1 to 10, I would be placed at a 7.5. One thing that I can tell you that has been a blessing and a curse is that I grew up with all females. Please let me know what I can do to improve my situation. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (1 June 2008):
 You're confusing "nice" with "not capable".
Strength, or leadership, or being a provider, or even forcefulness doesn't exclude "nice".
You don't have to be nasty to be sucessful with women, or in your career, or to be socially successful, or in business of any type. In fact, the majority of really successful people are really nice people too.
A
male
reader, Dave31 +, writes (1 June 2008):
Dave31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBeing nice is great, but you can't be too nice. If a guy is interested in a female there has to be a line drawn when he stops being Mr. Magoo and starts showing his desirable side to him. Nice might be a good quality in a guy or girl, but It will not help in the seduction phase of courtship. A women, when looking for a man wants a leader and a provider. Being nice does not help you with providing anything. It might help with geting what you need, but you have to be a strong force in any situation that requires what you want.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (21 May 2008):
"Nice guys finish last"?
Last? Or "lasting"?
Immature and shallow women might like the rugged caveman who sweeps them off their feet and doesn't given them a moment to think about it before they find themselves in bed with him. Sure, it's a great fantasy. It's also a relationship that has about the same chance of lasting as a snowflake in hell.
Be nice. The right woman for you, the one who will want you because you are YOU, and who you will probably spend the rest of your life with, will be there because you are nice and not because you score a ten for looks or because you are right off-the-scale for macho discourtesy.
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