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... Send *usan Strict a private message | | | *usan Strict's profile:Writer and publisher of fiction, including books for children and young adults, science fiction, horror, mystery, and some strictly adult fantasy novels.
Married with three children, living south of London in the UK.
And what qualifies me to help people? Many things, I guess, but not least because I had many tempestuous (I like that word) relationships before I finally settled with my permanent partner and realised how fulfilling a long-term relationship can be. |
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She is 23 and says she knows nothing about sex. Could this be true?
Q. I am a male 25. My female friend aged 23 says she dont know anything about sex. She dont know what is masturbation and fingering. She doesnt know what sexual urge is.R there such girls present on earth. Is she a girl or what. She says she will lea...
A. 24 April 2008: Yes it's quite likely she is telling the truth, but if your attitude to her is as you've written then she's not the right girl for you. If you can't respect her views then I suggest you should leave her alone and find someone else.
On a slightly... (read in full...)
I cant seem to get that engine started and give him the sex he wants and deserves!
Q. Me and my boyfried have been together for 3 1/2 years we have a beautiful 1 year old little boy, but before all this our sex life was great!! Now it seems like I dont want it as much as he does we have talked, and talked about it but it seems like I ...
A. 24 April 2008: It's a fairly normal reaction for a lot of women after having a baby. Your body is saying "I don't want another baby yet. I'm busy enough with this one." And so your sex-drive reduces or disappears altogether. It doesn't happen to everyone, but ... (read in full...)
I go to church, even though I gave head there, so I've changed! How do I let people know this?
Q. People make fun of me because of my "sex life" but it's passst ;; and i've changed ! in my "lifetime" i've given head to 3 people i have had sex once, but it was in a church, i've gotten fingered 4 times.....and i know it sounds bad but recentley ...
A. 23 April 2008: Don't DO anything. Smile politely, and walk away. Actually, it makes no difference whether you have turned to church beliefs or not, or whether you have sex in any of its shapes or forms or not (apart from the fact that you're probably too young ... (read in full...)
Am I too young to be bisexual?
Q. Heya, im 12 years old. I just wanted to know... Am i too young to decide to be bi-sexual? Because i like watching lesbian porn and, i know it semi-normal at my age to feel like this but as i said, do you guys think im too young to decide to be bi? ...
A. 23 April 2008: As someone already said, you don't decide on your sexuality. Your body does it with a balance of hormones, and they don't start to stabilise properly until your mid-teens at the earliest - and some people are still changing many years after that. ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to have sex with someone who could be paralyzed from the waist down?!
Q. okayy. my boyfriend went to the doctor like 2 days ago. They said a disk in his back was out of place and if he plays any sports or messes up his back in anyway he will become paralyzed (sp?)from the waist down. when he told me that i tryed to ...
A. 23 April 2008: First, he's not paralyzed yet, is he? He may never be, and even if he were, then you would cope with it if you love him.
As far as sex goes, that's the least of the problems for you - and more particularly the least of the problems for him if i... (read in full...)
What size penis does it take to satisfy a girl?
Q. what size of penis can satisfy a Girl.? Mine is 4.5 Inches on full erection......
A. 23 April 2008: Size is rarely an issue. Think about it: women "get off" with one finger (or two), so the size of your bits and pieces isn't really an issue. Large is nice, but smaller is SO often better, because the owners of smaller ones tend to be so much ... (read in full...)
I don't have the will power to keep my weight down and stay in shape! What can I do?
Q. Over the past few years, I've lost quite a bit of weight but I'm STILL not happy with myself at all. I have a lateral thigh trainer that I often use, and i've started exchanging snack type food for fruit and just eating healthier I suppose....
A. 23 April 2008: No you don't have to stick to a "diet plan" or an "exercise plan". You have to adjust your lifestyle to something that works for you and something that you actually enjoy doing. Otherwise it's not going to work.
First, as has already been men... (read in full...)
I caught my husband with the nanny!
Q. I caught my husband making out with the nanny. what should I do?...
A. 23 April 2008: Sack the nanny, and find an old, ugly one. Don't even get into "whose fault it was".
Then forgive him. Eventually.... (read in full...)
I have the implant, recently I've been feeling sick and get a face rash...any ideas?
Q. I have the implant in my arm it is due to come out in june since last week my stomach has been feeling very sensitive and this week i have been being sick but more feeling sick and not actually being sick. When i am sick red rash comes out all over ...
A. 23 April 2008: As Laura said, you need to get to the doctor. You shouldn't be getting sick like that. The red rash on your face may simply be the reaction to retching - and probably nothing more than little blood vessels straining and breaking with the effort of ... (read in full...)
How can I make sure he asks me out instead of her?
Q. hey, i really need some help there's this guy i REALLY like and he just told me the other night that he likes me too, but the thing is there's this other girl he likes to, and i think she likes him aswell... he's probably going to ask one of us ou...
A. 23 April 2008: Don't mess about waiting for him to make up his mind. ASK HIM OUT.
Men can be so absolutely hopeless, particularly young ones. Throw caution to the winds and grab him first.
... (read in full...)
I've been lying to my boyfriend about climaxing, any suggestions to help our sex life?
Q. I have been gong out with my bouyfriend for 3 years now. I love him to bits anf he is the same with me When we got together we were quite younge and we have grown up with each other however when it came to sex i never managed to have an orgasm. ...
A. 23 April 2008: You wouldn't be the first girl to fake an orgasm - and you shouldn't worry that it's wrong to pretend to be having one. If it makes him happy, it really shows how much you want to please him and that's good.
But, and a very big "but", you're m... (read in full...)
I have broken my boyfriends heart by kissing another girl, how can we get over this?
Q. I am a Fetish model and i had a shoot with another girl.I had to kiss her during the shoot,my boyfriend was there and he was okay with that.For a long time he has wanted me to have a sexual encounter with a girl while he was there.I have considered ...
A. 23 April 2008: Are the pair of you making a mountain out of a mole hill?
Most men would give their right arm (well, perhaps not, but you know what I mean) to have a fetish model as a girlfriend!
He's upset, quite simply, because even though you did what he ... (read in full...)
Older woman is suffocating me...
Q. I’m a guy of 22 and met a woman of 43 through work last year. We had lots in common and got on really well until she made a pass at me. I told her that I wanted friendship; that was all. She told me that she loved me and wanted to be with me but I ...
A. 23 April 2008: You need to tell her absolutely bluntly just where she stands.
"I like you, but I'm never going to love you" might be a cliche, but it leaves little doubt. You need to be sure she understands it without any possibility of any confusion, and then... (read in full...)
He wants to date other girls and to continue to date me as well. Is he really interested in me?
Q. i dated a guy twice two weeks ago. when he called me for our third date, i reminded him that i was not comfortable dating a man who was dating other women at the same time, he didn't say anything at all at that time but later on the same day of our ...
A. 23 April 2008: The chances are that he's not really interested in you at all - at least, not as becoming his long-term partner.
Having said that, some men simply don't know what they want. If he is one of those, then waiting until he has sorted himself out may ... (read in full...)
I'm caught in a zone of uncertainty!
Q. I talk to my "best" friend everyday, several times a day. I already submitted a question about whether or not he "knows" how I feel about him. I have been separated from my husband for 8 months (after 16 years of an abusive marriage)and for most of ...
A. 23 April 2008: Start by saying "we ought to meet up again some time soon", or something like that. See how he reacts and take it from there. ... (read in full...)
I hate to have to pretend to my parents about my sexual orientation. When is a right time to come out?
Q. Hi, I've trying to tell my mom and dad that I'm a lesbian for a while now. I just don't know when the BEST time is, and only someone that has allready come out/has a child that has come out to them can understand when. I'm so sick of havin...
A. 22 April 2008: I hate to sound like your parents (and I'm sure I do), but at aged 10 to 12 you don't know for sure that you're a lesbian.
Your sexuality is still changing and adjusting, and will go on changing and adjusting for a good few years yet. Many, ma... (read in full...)
Possible side effects of watching porn regularly?
Q. What are the possible effects of regular watching of hardcore porn?...
A. 22 April 2008: Absolutely none, unless you already have other problems.
BUT the same can be said as about drinking alcohol. It might do you harm if you do it to excess, and it might be addictive for some people.
There are, of course, areas of "porn" that i... (read in full...)
I'm caught in a zone of uncertainty!
Q. I talk to my "best" friend everyday, several times a day. I already submitted a question about whether or not he "knows" how I feel about him. I have been separated from my husband for 8 months (after 16 years of an abusive marriage)and for most of ...
A. 22 April 2008: You won't risk losing what you have as long as you don't go pouring out all your love and feelings in one go.
Why don't you start by something relatively innocent - look up at him with big eyes and say something like "You're very nice". It sound... (read in full...)
I would love to diversify our sex making but I fear she will think I am perverted to suggest more than the traditional style?
Q. Am facing a serious problem in my sex life coz of monotony. My girlfriend and i have been enjoying our quality time but its become very boring of recent especially for me. She doesnt seem to have any interest in trying any other sex style apart from ...
A. 22 April 2008: Now, be careful... it's illegal to have sex in any position other than the traditional one if you happen to be in Washington DC. In London, there's a law that makes it illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle (although not specifically on a ... (read in full...)
I am bi and constantly struggle with my sexuality. If I am with a guy then I long for a girl and vice versa!
Q. I am bi and constantly struggle with my sexuality. If I am with a guy then I long for a girl and vice versa. Only a small part of it is sexual but most part of it is emotional and psychological - like holding hands with a woman feels so different ...
A. 22 April 2008: Just a thought... but could it be that you simply haven't found the PERSON that's right for you?
A threeway relationship is always going to be difficult, and my advice would be to avoid taking that route if you possibly can.
When you're w... (read in full...)
He hinted that we should wait until I'm 15, it's hard to resist the temptations though. Any advice?
Q. i have a problem. i think i am in love, but i am only fourteen. i think teenage love is strongest of all though. i am not naive and i appear older for my age both mentally and physically. anyway i recently met a great guy age 16 and hes pretty much...
A. 22 April 2008: Oh teenage love is WONDERFUL. I remember it like it was yesterday - and in fact it's umpty-tiddly years ago (a lady doesn't always like to reveal her age...)
But it doesn't hurt to wait a little, and I'll guarantee it's worth waiting. Dream; i... (read in full...)
In my head I know I shold move on but I can't seem to, I still hold on to hope. Any advice??
Q. My heart is broken. I feel lost. My ex bf of 3 yrs broke up with me just over a wk ago and left me for another woman. We had a difficult relationship towards the end but it still didn't prepare me. just before valentines day he told me he wasn't...
A. 22 April 2008: Move on.
He has obviously thought about it. It's not a snap decision. You say "it took him an hour to move on from 3 years" but that's not so. It's been falling apart for a long while, and you know it.
It's brutal advice, but you need it:... (read in full...)
My dad has been married five times and he has his sights on a nasty number six now, I cant cope anymore !
Q. I was raised by my dad, over the years, my dad has been married 5 times but I am an only child for now. My dad is a great loving dad and I know he loves me a lot and I love him so much too but in and out I always have a new ever-changing mummy or ...
A. 22 April 2008: No, absolutely not. If you run away then you'll end up in a worse mess than before. Yes, I'm sure your dad loves you, but the more you make it difficult for him to do what he wants to do, the more he's going to find it difficult to go on loving ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is so amazing and deserves more but I'm afraid that I'll do really bad!
Q. Hey guys : ), Ummm I feel really inappropriate writing this but, I wanna try anal sex but im scared. I've tried it once or twice but it hurt toooooo much so I stopped. Is it gonna hurt everytime or just it just take time to feel pleasure...
A. 22 April 2008: Why on earth do you want to try anal sex? It's nothing special - not when you're properly equipped for normal sex!! It won't ever feel the same as vaginal sex; some people find it pleasurable but it's not the same and never will be. Also, it ... (read in full...)
If anyone has been through this please tell me what I can do to get over him. I know this relationship will never work.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago... I love him with all my heart but the relationship will never work as his feelings are always from one extreme to another. One week he will focus all his attention on me and treat me as though i a...
A. 22 April 2008: You could start by simply telling him the problem, if you haven't done that already. You say he "keeps coming back into your life". So you have the chance to discuss it, and you really must discuss it. It might be that his feelings for you are ... (read in full...)
My dad has been married five times and he has his sights on a nasty number six now, I cant cope anymore !
Q. I was raised by my dad, over the years, my dad has been married 5 times but I am an only child for now. My dad is a great loving dad and I know he loves me a lot and I love him so much too but in and out I always have a new ever-changing mummy or ...
A. 22 April 2008: Running away is NOT the answer. It's always difficult to cope with a new "mother" when she's not your real mother, and as you say your dad isn't making it any easier for you when he is clearly having great trouble finding a relationship that lasts. ... (read in full...)
I want to leave him as he was staring at this girl for hours!
Q. I am a woman that as long as i rememebr had 2 divorced parents, which made me choose all the wrong guys in my life, which now am trying to correct. The sad thing is, it has been more than a year and a half when i decided to break up with someone ...
A. 21 April 2008: You may be over-reacting. Just because men have wandering eyes doesn't mean they are going to stray - and you said he was drunk, so not necessarily acting sensibly. Men look at lots of nice things, even when they have nice things of their own: c... (read in full...)
My brother in law cheated on my sister! I want to help but I'm conflicted...
Q. My sister just found out that my brother in law cheated. I was floored!! I have always looked to them as the "ideal" couple. They were so in love with each other. you know, the annoying couple that never leaves the honeymoon stage!! They have 2 ...
A. 21 April 2008: You said it all. You think he is a good man who made a bad mistake. We all make mistakes, although not all so potentially destructive as he did. Your sister needs all the support she can get, and of course you can do it without taking sides.
... (read in full...)
During an argument he said he doesn't have this problem (soft erections) with other girls, could he be cheating??
Q. I confused. my bf and I have been together for 7 years and for the last year or so hes been gettin soft during oral and vaginal sex.now its not every time but happens now and again and I don't complain or say anything. a day ago we got into an ...
A. 21 April 2008: Yes it wasn't a nice comment, but maybe said on the spur of the moment without thinking and without any basis or reality in what he said. There may be something else worrying him. Or he might be masturbating a lot - which, if he has you, is still ... (read in full...)
Why does he just give excuses instead of the real reason?
Q. me and my boyfriend are pretty much finished, after 9 months of love, and 3 months of falling out. the falling out is on his part, as i've fought to keep us together. He's the kind of sensitive type who keeps it all in, and im wondering, we're not ...
A. 21 April 2008: From what you say, you are trying to read more into his words and actions than is probably in them. There is a difference between "caring" (not wanting to hurt you more than he has to) and "loving", wanting to be part of you. "Caring" is not ... (read in full...)
Can he still treat me well if he doesn't believe in God?
Q. Ok my question is what do you do if you have this guy that treats you really great but he don't believe in god and that's really important to you and that he don't have a car or cell phone or job but he lives at home and he's going to be going to ...
A. 21 April 2008: It won't stop him being good to you, but will it stop you being good to him?
Sure, he may find God as many of us have, but that's by no means certain. He is far more likely to find God if he can see how much God means to you, but if you keep pus... (read in full...)
6 months pregnant and separated from my partner, who initially wanted to break any contact! Now he seems to have changed his mind, his behaviour is confusing!
Q. hi, i'm new to this but need bit of advice. i'm 6 months pregnant and have split with my partner. he said he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby but has since seemed to have changed his mind.i've had to move out and go live with my ...
A. 21 April 2008: He's probably as confused as you are. Obviously (or, at least, I hope it's obvious) it would be best for your baby to have both parents together - BUT not if the only way to achieve that is in an unstable relationship that really doesn't work.
... (read in full...)
How do I go about kissing my bf of 5 months?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months, and i want to kiss him, but i dont know how and i dont want to feel like an idiot. Any sugestions?...
A. 18 April 2008: Don't even think about it. When the time is right to kiss, it will all come naturally. Maybe it will feel clumsy but that's OK - really OK. Above all, don't rush it. It will happen all on its own and it will get better and better.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he cum from oral?
Q. I love to give my bf oral, and i understand that making him cum is not everything, but he never does cum. Although he claims to enjoy it! But it puts me off doin it when i feel like i cant even make him cum. The whole on-goin argument about spit or ...
A. 18 April 2008: This is difficult to answer without going into a graphic description - and I'm not doing that here.
Think: what sensations are being created in actions that do make him orgasm? What's different about when you do oral? Can you make the sensatio... (read in full...)
How do I know what colours suit me?
Q. i am the ty[e of girl who only wears black, grey, white clothes.. im not a goth or nything.. i just dint think colour suites me.. i really want to wear colour tho.. how do i know what colours suit me?...
A. 18 April 2008: Wear what makes you feel comfortable, NOT what other people tell you suits you. ... (read in full...)
Should he stay a virgin?
Q. Hi all, I find it really disturbing that one of our Aunts (WE ALL KNOW WHO) is ranting and raving over religion. He is clearly very disturbed, and should anyone that has such extreme views be giving advice? We are all entitled to believe in w...
A. 18 April 2008: Sure he should give his opinion and tell everyone that he believes what he is saying is right. That's what religion is all about - spreading what you believe is the truth.
The problem is, of course, that he might be wrong. He might have misinter... (read in full...)
Am I being a complete idiot and clinging onto something that isnt going to work.. or is there light at the end of the tunnel?
Q. Okay.. I have been seeing this guy since last July, and we hit it off straight away. He is 10 years older than me and had just come out of a 23 year relationship.. He has 2 children, one of 10 and another 20.. He moved out and rented his own flat. ...
A. 17 April 2008: As duskyrowe said, he's probably going through a mid-life crisis. And you're part of it.
Now - this is complicated, so try and follow and I'll try to explain (I've seen it many times):
First, just because he's playing on the phone amd/or Inter... (read in full...)
She is planning to spend some more time with me to decide whether she wants to come back to me or choose the other man, what should I do?
Q. i posted about a month ago after my fiance of 6 years left. she contacted me after a week went by and said she wasn't sure she made the right decision. we started seeing eachother and talking sporadically. I got the feeling that she met som...
A. 3 April 2008: She is being very unfair and completely unreasonable. If she really can't decide what she wants then she should tell you that and leave you alone until she can decide - if you still want her by that time. She's thinking about herself and not about ... (read in full...)
Do I give in to the sex to keep my boyfriend or not?
Q. My boyfriend and I are drifting apart I can just tell. I feel as though there is something more I can do but he won't tell me what. We haven't even had any sexual contact yet cuz I'm not ready and I think that bugs him... what can I do to make it so ...
A. 1 April 2008: No, no and NO!
I think everyone else has already said it. Sex is not the answer. In fact, sex is rarely the answer. Sex is a bonus when you're ready for it and not before. Don't misunderstand that: sex is wonderful, and an important part of ... (read in full...)
Iam 20 could I date my sisters friend although she is 4 years younger?
Q. I am 20 years old, and I have a crush on one of my sister's friends who is only 15, almost 16. I have liked this girl for a long time, but not until recently did I start having strong feelings for her. Now, I have never dated before, and I don't kn...
A. 1 April 2008: I don't see why you shouldn't date. Look at it this way: four years may seem a huge age-gap when you are in your teens, but by the time you're 40 it's nothing at all!!! Obviously, if she's only 15 at the moment then you need to be rather more ... (read in full...)
Any got any tips on how to flirt?
Q. How can I flirt, I know about smiling but that is useless because i smile at everyone. I am in a wheelchair so I can't stand up and lie near guys or sit on their knee. How else can I flirt?...
A. 1 April 2008: Use your eyes. Look straight at his face until you have his attention, then let your eyes wander... and pause when you're looking at straight at what you want him to know you're looking at. Of course, which part of him you decide to make it clear ... (read in full...)
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