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... Send *usan Strict a private message | | | *usan Strict's profile:Writer and publisher of fiction, including books for children and young adults, science fiction, horror, mystery, and some strictly adult fantasy novels.
Married with three children, living south of London in the UK.
And what qualifies me to help people? Many things, I guess, but not least because I had many tempestuous (I like that word) relationships before I finally settled with my permanent partner and realised how fulfilling a long-term relationship can be. |
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I like to experiment with everything sex wise whereas he doesn't. Is it wrong to want sex all the time?
Q. Hello- Sorry if this is a bit inappropriate but I would like to get some feedback. I have been in a relationship for about a year now, my boyfriend and I have always had a healthy and very active sex life, but now it seems like I am a bit much for...
A. 23 June 2008: He just needs to be encouraged a bit, and you need to find out what he particularly likes. Nearly everyone has desires and fantasies that they don't like to mention, and somewhere in the depths of his thoughts there are probably some great ideas!
... (read in full...)
How can I make myself taller?
Q. Is there anyway i can make myself grow??? I'm 17 and i wanna be a bit taller because of my girlfriend i naturally want to be taller not by wearing thick shoes etc. Is there anyway this is possible? I here pull ups help...
A. 21 June 2008: No. Absolutely nothing you can do. You might be able to stretch your joints a bit, but it's only going to be a temporary change.
Enjoy what you are.
...and, personally, I've always believed that the best things in this world tend to come in ... (read in full...)
My sister keeps fainting. Does anyone know what it might be?
Q. My little sister keeps on fainting. It's pretty scray. She says that it only happens when she's really tired. She'll get up out of bed or from sitting down and a few minuets later she'll hit the deck. I saw her faint this morning (It was the f...
A. 21 June 2008: When she goes to the doctor (as soon as possible, I would suggest) you should go with her and describe what YOU saw. This is important. VERY important.
In particular describe the slight shaking, the appearance of her "eyes popping out", and that... (read in full...)
My sister keeps fainting. Does anyone know what it might be?
Q. My little sister keeps on fainting. It's pretty scray. She says that it only happens when she's really tired. She'll get up out of bed or from sitting down and a few minuets later she'll hit the deck. I saw her faint this morning (It was the f...
A. 21 June 2008: Yes.
But it's inappropriate for me to try to diagnose it from what you write here.
She MUST to back to the doctor and discuss having an electroencephalogram.... (read in full...)
Is this acid reflex or something else?
Q. Ok I have a health question. I have been diagnosed with acid reflex. I got diagnosed with it in September of 2006 so almost two years ago. I had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. I didn’t have any ulcers but I did have a polyp which is what they said ...
A. 21 June 2008: There's a lot here, and we're not doctors.
First, it's important to make sure you are telling the doctors EVERYTHING. Too often the doctors are trying to make a diagnosis on only part of the information, and you aren't displaying all the symptoms... (read in full...)
My best friend is a priest and fell in love with a woman. What should I advise him?
Q. i have a friend. he is a priest.he fell in love with a woman. he is facing in a very crucial decicion-making of wether to give up his career and disregard his vows as a priest in order to be with that girl for good or to just forget her.what can i ...
A. 21 June 2008: I would suggest that if he has fallen in love with a woman then the life of celibacy as a priest wasn't right for him in the first place.
Most importantly, I think you shouldn't try to advise him or to sway him in one direction of the other. ... (read in full...)
Do I have any rights with regard to her selling the ring before divorce?
Q. My wife has sold her engagement ring and has left the state, she even had a change of address 3 weeks ago, then, this week I filed for divorce. Do I have any rights with regard to her selling the ring before divorce? ...
A. 21 June 2008: An engagement ring becomes hers on marriage. It's a gift you gave her, and like any gift you can't decide to ask for it back. It's not something like a house that might be considered joint property.
I wonder... if it was an eternity ring (li... (read in full...)
My 6 year old caught my husband and I in the bedroom having sex, what do I tell her??
Q. my daughter who is 6 years old walked in the bedroom while me and her dad was having sex and said what are you doing and what i do and tell her?...
A. 20 June 2008: Sure. "We were having a cuddle. It's what married people do."
That's what I told my daughter when a similar situation arose.
Unfortunately for me, I heard my 11-year-old son whisper to his sister, "I think they were shagging."
Oh... (read in full...)
Why do women like to tease men about sex??
Q. Why do women like to tease men about sex? Why not just be open to their needs instead of making it such a big deal!!!...
A. 20 June 2008: Who does?
Don't generalise.
I don't. When I want a shag I want a shag. (Does the word "shag" work in American English?)
Tease? Never. Torment and frustrate, sure, when I'm feeling particularly wicked and not particularly randy mysel... (read in full...)
Is he really my Knight in Shining Armor, or just some hoax? He has a shady past...
Q. I just started seeing a guy a week or so ago. We used to be friends a few years ago when I was dating one of his aquantances. For those of you that are interested in the zodiac, I am a Pisces, and he is a Gemini. We spend almost everyday togethe...
A. 20 June 2008: I wonder why you mention your signs of the Zodiac? Because if you believe in astrology, you'll already know the answer: attracted to each other like moths to a flame, and about as much chance of the relationship surviving as those two moths in a ... (read in full...)
How can I improve communication with my girlfriend? Right now it is all a physical relationship, but we need to learn to talk to eachother!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend about six weeks. Without doubt, what's best about our relationship is the physical aspect. When she is in my arms we seem to melt into one another and my mind floats away. When we wake up together naturally entwined ...
A. 20 June 2008: I think that being able to feel comfortable with someone is far more important than the sexual spark - which doesn't mean the relationship will last if there's no spark at all. Equally, in fact more so, if all that exists is the sexual spark then ... (read in full...)
Man charged with sexual assault to me, I feel sorry for him and am scared.
Q. This isnt really about relationships but i value everyones advice on this site and iv always came here in the past with troubles. so im hoping you guy can help me now. A good few months ago a man who i new from a rival store to the one that i w...
A. 20 June 2008: No one has a right to grab your breasts without your permission. Yes you did the right thing. You don't need to feel sorry for him.
The chances are that if you don't make a major fuss about it in court - assuming they call you as the "victim"... (read in full...)
He put pressure on me and then called it a 'statement' - What does he mean?
Q. its me again, i had sex with my sex partner and it was good as usually but it was a little different. He seem to have put more pressure on me and i counldn't really take it but i did anyway i guess thats what made it different (idn)so today i phone ...
A. 20 June 2008: Sure it makes sense. It's a little sad that he felt the need to do it/say it, but some men are like that.
He did it rather more forcefully than usual? At least, I assume that's what you're saying. His "statement" is "I'm the big man and you'... (read in full...)
How do you sleep when your partner isn't there?
Q. Not really a problem, just curious. This spring my girlfriend took a trip to see her family and she had been preparing her luggage and I noticed she had put in some t-shirts of mine. She frequently wears them as night shirts but there were from ...
A. 20 June 2008: How do I sleep?
Without the snoring, farting, belching, wriggling around, twitching, talking in his sleep?
MUCH better. ... (read in full...)
How do I decide what I want?
Q. I'm not exactly living with my "parents" but I'm considering moving in with a couple of friends, and I'm in dying need of some good advice. Don't get me wrong ..I love and highly respect the relatives I am living with now, because the...
A. 20 June 2008: Why don't you work out exactly what you intend to do - get all the advantages and disadvantages clear in your head, then put yourself in the position of your relatives and think what their objections might be.
Have the argument, if that's w... (read in full...)
Will antibiotics and alcohol make me ill?
Q. Quickkk! I've been on antibiotics since yesterday morning, i went to the morning and got some pink tablets from it as i have an inflamed toe. But the thing is its my birthday today and im going out tonight with all my mates to get absoloutely blad...
A. 20 June 2008: Read the information that came with the antibiotics. That should tell you.
If in doubt, don't risk it. It's a major problem with some antibiotics and not so much of a risk with others. Excessive drinking isn't a good idea when taking any medi... (read in full...)
Question about how straight guys act...
Q. Hey, Got a question about how str8 guys act. i`m a gay man , i`ve written before about this guy, but theres more unsure things about him , or maybe i`m just confused about how the str8 mind works lol this guy makes it clear that his girlfrie...
A. 19 June 2008: I think you are seeing what you want to see.
But if you don't ask him, you'll never know. Next time he says he wants a blowjob, offer to give him one.
He'll either say yes, no, or something ending in "off".... (read in full...)
Is having sex with prostitutes a bad idea when you're a beginner like I am?
Q. is having sex with prostitutes a bad idea when your a beginner like me? ive only ever had sex with prostitutes because i cant get girls any other way. they have no interest in clubs, pubs or any where else, there always horrible to me and call me ...
A. 19 June 2008: I don't think that's good.
Of course it's up to you what sort of sex you want, and if visiting massage parlours feels comfortable to you then I guess that's what you do.
But you asked. You asked whether we think it's a bad idea. You also ... (read in full...)
What could this "bloating" in my lower left abdomen means?
Q. dear cupid i seem to have a problem, my lower right abdomen seems to have less fat and be in then my left lower abdomen, which looks kinda bloated. i would like to know what causes this? also its not hernia please help ...
A. 18 June 2008: Flatulence, constipation, irritable bowel - all of which your doctor can diagnose or rule out very quickly.
There are a number of far more serious conditions that can cause lower left abdominal swelling and can be treated, but must be caught e... (read in full...)
Concerned about first time anal sex with girlfriend!
Q. My girlfriend wants me to give her anal sex and I am hessitant to because I have heard that the bum is tighter than the vagina and I know this is going to sound a bit weird but I do not know what is inside the female bum e.g. the texture (apart from ...
A. 18 June 2008: Have you asked her WHY she wants anal sex? I think you should.
Why don't you stick your finger (or two) up your own backside first (wash them thoroughly before and after), then you'll have some idea what to expect AND, more to the point, some ide... (read in full...)
Ladies, do you ever masturbate in the prone position?
Q. I am curious how many other females masturbate while laying on their stomach as compared to laying on their back or other ways. If you use your hands, do you use one hand or two and do you move your hands or do you keep your hands still while ...
A. 18 June 2008: Yes.
Yes to all of them. And some.
It takes as long as I want it to take - rarely less than a minute and rarely longer than five minutes. Actually I've never timed it. I can only really say that sometimes I want to rush it and sometimes I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had a gay relationship. I have prayed and I have been patient but he won't open up to me...
Q. I am a woman in my 30's and I have been in a relationship for 4 years now. My boyfriend is 9 years younger than me which could have posed a problem but it hasn't. Anyway, a few years ago I was on my boyfriends computer do my school work and I ...
A. 18 June 2008: There are people who can sustain both a gay and a heterosexual relationship at the same time.
Being bisexual, as he may well be, doesn't necessarily mean this is going to work. In most cases people need just one partner, and have to make the choi... (read in full...)
I'm sixteen and I think I'm a sexual deviant!!
Q. I'm sixteen and I think I'm a sexual deviant. A masochist to be exact. When I masturbate, I like to pretend that reino nordin, a Finnish actor is a sexual deviant and he does all the things i imagine. I shouldn't be this way. I mean, when I look at ...
A. 18 June 2008: Absolutely nothing wrong with you, and you're not a "deviant".
I've just looked up Reino Nordin. OK - so I can assure you that if you have fantasies about HIM there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you at all. If I was 25 years younger.... (read in full...)
She's having an affair, and doesn't know who she loves more! I don't want to lose her, help!
Q. I have recently found out that my girlfreind for the past 3 years is having an affair, with her boy best mate. I dunno what to do, she said she doesn't no who she loves more, him or me. I don't want to lose her but if i do it will be the end of my ...
A. 18 June 2008: This isn't the "Oops I got caught, sorry won't do it again", nor is it the "I don't love you and I need love".
Either of those are understandable, much as they may be wrong.
This is different, and I would say totally unreasonable. W... (read in full...)
Where is a man's "G-Spot"?
Q. Can someone tell me in a FULL DESCRIPTION where is a man's G-SPOT (in details)...
A. 17 June 2008: Well... and I thought I knew nearly everything about sex...
Um... so I just asked my husband.
"I don't have one," he said.
Two seconds later.
"My whole **** is my G-Spot," he said.
I would love to know if ANYONE has a better answer - ... (read in full...)
Am I...genuinely a good guy?
Q. This is gonna be a very long post, so I seek your patience and understanding. Let me provide some background information first. I am 24 this year, moving into the last year of university in a tough course and doing reasonably well. I am the o...
A. 17 June 2008: While I think that trying to look at yourself objectively and understand your inner motives for your actions is a very good thing, I also think that too much self-analysis can be destructive.
It's not what's good about you or bad about you that... (read in full...)
Is having sex with prostitutes a bad idea when you're a beginner like I am?
Q. is having sex with prostitutes a bad idea when your a beginner like me? ive only ever had sex with prostitutes because i cant get girls any other way. they have no interest in clubs, pubs or any where else, there always horrible to me and call me ...
A. 17 June 2008: Leaving aside moral issues for the moment, I'm sure you could learn a lot about sex from prostitutes if you pick the right ones and are prepared (and able) to pay for it. If you are going to the average "girl on the street" then you are quite ... (read in full...)
My man isn't romantic. He just doesn't get it! What do I do?
Q. DEAR CUPID. my man is not romantic. he is too stiff 4 me. i try many ways to change him but it just inclined a little. he just doesn,t get it. i try giving him pleasure but he doesn't take it to the extent i presume.wat do i do?...
A. 17 June 2008: Most men are absolutely clueless when it comes to romance. You have to teach them to behave the way you want them to behave.
It's not unlike training a small puppy, except that you need to get him to respond to situations and circumst... (read in full...)
How can I improve communication with my girlfriend? Right now it is all a physical relationship, but we need to learn to talk to eachother!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend about six weeks. Without doubt, what's best about our relationship is the physical aspect. When she is in my arms we seem to melt into one another and my mind floats away. When we wake up together naturally entwined ...
A. 17 June 2008: Talk? Why talk?
Communication doesn't have to involve words. Right now you are communicating in the best possible way. Don't spoil it by talking about it!
Plenty of time for talking later. Enjoy the wordless nuzzling.... (read in full...)
Akward question about masturbation....
Q. This is an awkward question to ask, but here goes: I sometimes like fingering myself in the ass...I also I imagine girls doing it to me and even wearing strap-ons and humping me!I'm straight and only like girls that way,is there something wrong ...
A. 17 June 2008: Yes it will hurt. As I said, you will probably find the fantasy far more pleasant than the actual experience.... (read in full...)
Should females tell their male partners the truth about their sexual past?
Q. I read loads of questions about this and seen it myself with a freind, Should females not tell their male partners the truth about their sexual past? if they're going to freak out what's the point? My workmate once boasted to me about how many b/f ...
A. 17 June 2008: Absolutely not. What you did previously is no one's business but yours and whoever you did it with. A husband or partner has no right to know about your previous sexual activities (or lack of them) and neither do you have a right to know about ... (read in full...)
My sister's boyfriend kissed me. What should I do?
Q. im 14 years old. i have a sister that 18 that talks to this guy thats 21. he treats my sister like his own sister. he gets her anything she wants. a couple of days ago he went to my house to see my sister. he told me to stay outside with them. then ...
A. 17 June 2008: Leave him alone. Tell him to leave you alone. Nothing further needs to be said to anyone or by anyone. Problem solved.
Why make it complicated? ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to still have feeling for his first love?
Q. My boyfriend(for the last 6 months) still loves his first love and I'm his second. He broke up with her, then 2 months later we started dating. These feelings are really confusing him and he doesn't think it is fair to me. Is it normal for a guy ...
A. 16 June 2008: I think most men remember their first love with some degree of fondness and nostalgia at the very least - even many, many years later. The first is always special (and I most certainly remember my first boyfriend with particular affection even ... (read in full...)
Akward question about masturbation....
Q. This is an awkward question to ask, but here goes: I sometimes like fingering myself in the ass...I also I imagine girls doing it to me and even wearing strap-ons and humping me!I'm straight and only like girls that way,is there something wrong ...
A. 16 June 2008: Nothing wrong with you at all.
It's a "fetish" like any other, although you would probably find that this one is far less pleasant to actually experience than it is in your imagination.
I assume you surf porn? The "strap-on/anal h... (read in full...)
My love for my wife has faded! And my size seems to be a problem for both women in my life!
Q. I am married and I love another woman but I can't make a decision as to what to do. I love my wife but I'm not in love with my wife but i love our life, family and most of all my son. I am going crazy as to what to do. I can't imagine breaking this ...
A. 16 June 2008: You don't need help. You need a good slap, and if you carry on as you are I'm fairly sure your wife will give it to you sooner or later.
Oh, yeah, I don't mean it literally, of course. I would never condone violence of any sort, although... (read in full...)
Should the child always come first before a relationship?
Q. Should the child always come first before a relationship? I am dating a widowed guy with a kid who prefers to give up sex with me if his daughter (seven) wants to sleep in bed with us that night. He doesn't ask me if I mind first. Every major li...
A. 16 June 2008: Four years is NOT a long time ago to have lost someone close. It's no time at all. Understanding THAT may be your biggest problem.
And as for "the twelve year old who responded", I think she understands very well.
I'm not going to say any... (read in full...)
I'm happily married - but in love with another . .
Q. I dated a man 5 years ago for a short period of time. I was crazy about him but didnt think he returned my deep feelings. I moved on romantically,and got married to a very lovely person after 18 months of dating. I remained friends with my old ...
A. 15 June 2008: I would say never "follow your heart" unless/until you have taken a step back and made sure it feels right in your head too. Common sense and being practical makes lasting relationships, not just love.
I would also say never stay with someone ... (read in full...)
How will I be able to avoid looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards?
Q. hi aunts, ok i just need a bit of advice and reasurance really, but im going on a school trip soonand the boy i like is going to. People say as long as you feel confident in yourself (your outfit) then people dont seem to mind what your wearing...i ...
A. 15 June 2008: Confidence doesn't depend on how you look or what you wear. Be yourself, and be happy to be yourself. If you are happy with yourself then the confidence will automatically be there, and you could be wearing the worst, dirtiest outfit in the world ... (read in full...)
In new relationship - should I tell my mum?
Q. Hi.I go to a school with both boys and girls but with same sex classes. i have some friends who are boys in my tutor and recently the one i fancied asked me out and i said yes but now i have a bf i cant stop worrying. my parents are overprotective ...
A. 15 June 2008: Yes of course you should tell your mum.
You MUST tell your mum where you go and who you go there with.
What you don't necessarily have to tell your mum is who your best friends are nor who you choose to kiss.
Put it this way: my son who is... (read in full...)
Are these signs I need glasses?
Q. When I read I begin to get a headache come on and I need to blink excessively and my eyes sometimes water. The sun and computer screens make my eyes hurt after a while even when distanced away from me. I've begun leaving curtains closed wh...
A. 15 June 2008: Getting a headache when you try to read and/or view computer screens is sometimes a symptom of long-sightedness that can be corrected by wearing glasses, but sensitivity to light isn't usually the same sort of problem and suggests something else is ... (read in full...)
Should the child always come first before a relationship?
Q. Should the child always come first before a relationship? I am dating a widowed guy with a kid who prefers to give up sex with me if his daughter (seven) wants to sleep in bed with us that night. He doesn't ask me if I mind first. Every major li...
A. 14 June 2008: A child's NEEDS always come first. Always.
A child's WANTS should always be considered, not automatically accepted as being essential.
If the kid wants to sleep in bed with both of you occasionally, then take it as a compliment that ... (read in full...)
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