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... Send *usan Strict a private message | | | *usan Strict's profile:Writer and publisher of fiction, including books for children and young adults, science fiction, horror, mystery, and some strictly adult fantasy novels.
Married with three children, living south of London in the UK.
And what qualifies me to help people? Many things, I guess, but not least because I had many tempestuous (I like that word) relationships before I finally settled with my permanent partner and realised how fulfilling a long-term relationship can be. |
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Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair?
Q. Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair? haha, My boyfriend always laughs. I'm cool with it as it's always mostly gone anyways. We have a real giggle. But no one in my family is ginger. They say they're all black. I have NATURALLY dark h...
A. 19 May 2008: Humph.
Silver.... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair?
Q. Does anyone out there have ginger pubic hair? haha, My boyfriend always laughs. I'm cool with it as it's always mostly gone anyways. We have a real giggle. But no one in my family is ginger. They say they're all black. I have NATURALLY dark h...
A. 19 May 2008: It's not ginger. It's gold, pure gold.
Mine is. ... (read in full...)
Is it nature or is it nurture that make us pefer different types?
Q. i am not sexually attracted to blue eyed blond women. It seems that there is hardly anything but blue eyed blond women on tv, in movies and i really find them boring. Let a black woman, latino or asian appear on the screen and i pay rapt attention. ...
A. 19 May 2008: "i mean the hair is kinky, not the girl."
And what's wrong with kinky girls??? :D
Variety - the spice of life. An old expression, but absolutely true.... (read in full...)
My testicles are sore after having sex with my gf is this normal?
Q. Me and my gf had sex for the 1st time 2days ago and my balls have been hurting since is this normal? if so how long will it last? and can sti's be passed on to our kids when we have them if we have an sti?...
A. 19 May 2008: Right. It's not likely to be any sort of sti. The symptoms have appeared too quickly.
If the pain has not lessened after two days, then you need to go see a doctor. What could it be? Well, there are several possibilities. One is that the pain... (read in full...)
I felt bad for not indulging his anal fantasies and that he also has erection problems
Q. Okay, here's the thing...he has NO problems getting it up the first time. Actually, it's great sex. The second time, a while later...it's really hard to get him...well, hard. The only things that seem to turn him on is 69 or the idea of him doin...
A. 19 May 2008: There are lots of reasons why anal isn't a good idea - at least, not on a regular basis.
Your back passage isn't designed for having things rammed up it. There is a greater risk of infections for both of you - and I'm not talking about the usua... (read in full...)
Can you explain sex?
Q. I am wondering besides humping what is sex? I am only 11 years old so, do not make your answers that detailed or gross. Thanks if you answer nicely....
A. 18 May 2008: "The birds and the bees"? "The facts of life"?
Sex has many names, and few of them come close to describing it. Neither, unfortunately, does most of the "sex education" at school or the explanations from many parents.
There may be great deb... (read in full...)
We've been together for more than 10 years but I'm determined not to forgive his infidelity, what do you think?
Q. I found out my husband had an affair a year and a half ago. The only reason it's over now is because the other woman ended it. The whole thing lasted about a month. He was angry that she hurt him, not sure if he tried to win her back or anyt...
A. 18 May 2008: There's only one question: was the relationship you had with him before you knew all of this worth having and worth fighting for?
If so, then fight to regain it. If not, then let it go. Either way, move on and don't let it make the rest of ... (read in full...)
An advice please onow to cope from people who had casual encounters they later regretted?
Q. OK I feel as though I need to explain myself or apologise before I even start as I dont want people to misjudge me. My bf and I are both models and even though our world is full of superficial people, I pride the fact that neither of us are like ...
A. 17 May 2008: As you say, we all make mistakes. The only real way out is to explain to the person involved that you are very sorry you made a mistake and there's no possibility of a future relationship.
As you really want to avoid hurting her, this might be o... (read in full...)
Hay! This is a bit off-saddle for this site, but I need to stirrup some horse fans!
Q. Hey I know this is a bit off topic for this site, but I need help on something. Does anyone on here horse ride?! Yes, it sounds weird to ask that, I know. But I started back in february and have just began to canter. Finding it awful! I just ge...
A. 17 May 2008: It's a good few years since I rode a horse.
I think the advice that the bishop gave the actress applies to cantering: just grip with your thighs and go with the motion...... (read in full...)
Are there no mature women interested in young guys?
Q. I love mature women but I am young (16). Its hard when you know you probably can't have sex with an older woman at a young age. I just don't know what to do....
A. 17 May 2008: Wait a couple of years. There are plenty of more mature women who would be only too pleased to have a young lover.
But there are a couple of things you really should consider:
First, sex outside a loving and long-term relationship will NEVER b... (read in full...)
My friend likes a 30 year old... am I blind or is this not wrong?
Q. I'm 17 and my friend is 16. We met this guy through an online game, he's 30 years old. I was the one that introduced him to her, little did I no that it would ever result in some sort of gross relationship. First of all, my friend is the most ...
A. 16 May 2008: Yes, you are overreacting. No, it's not wrong.
So what's actually happened? You tell me that your friend has made a friend who happens to be much older than her. So what?
Of course anyone needs to be careful when meeting someone for the ... (read in full...)
I'm in a hole and can't see which way to go!!
Q. Morning everyone. Can you give me your thoughts please. I'm in a hole and can't see which way to go. My husband is in a job where he works very long hours. He always did ever since I met him, so nothings changed there. But before, he work...
A. 16 May 2008: I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Your problem is that you need him to see that, but from your reply I would guess that the problems are more deeply rooted than simply the hours he works and the job he is doing.
As I see it, it's... (read in full...)
I'm in a hole and can't see which way to go!!
Q. Morning everyone. Can you give me your thoughts please. I'm in a hole and can't see which way to go. My husband is in a job where he works very long hours. He always did ever since I met him, so nothings changed there. But before, he work...
A. 16 May 2008: You need to sort out what is most important in your lives.
If he is working those sort of hours, then his job must be important to him - and maybe to you too if it is paying the money you both need.
You say you are considering movi... (read in full...)
Am I in love or should I just move on?
Q. How do you know when your in love with someone? I am 16 and I've liked this guy for ages, about a year at least. He used to like me but we were both shy and weren't sure who should make the first step. He was really nice to me and I couldn't stop ...
A. 15 May 2008: Move on.
Not because you don't love him, but because he didn't treat you with the respect you deserve - the respect that any girl or any woman deserves.
Love is complex. There are few people who only ever have one love in their lives. Yo... (read in full...)
Where should his loyalty lie?
Q. hi everyone, help solve a problem about loyalty and whom is right and whom is wrong, im engaged to a great guy, now the problem is where should his loyalty lay, with is ex wife, his mum and his family, his kids and me even though im not their ...
A. 15 May 2008: I guess everyone has their own particular priorities, but in my opinion.
First: kids
Second: you
Third: mother/father
Fourth: other close family (brothers/sisters)
Fifth: ex
But does he have to choose? Does he really have to have "pri... (read in full...)
Just a crush? Surely at 32 I'm too old to have a crush?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I have what I thought was a crush on one of his friends, now Im not so sure. They arent really close friends, they just drink in the same group of lads. I just dont know what to do, I know I would ne...
A. 15 May 2008: No you're not too old to have a crush, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it - not as long as you recognise it for what it is.
Like Emivia says, it's lust. A year is quite a long time for something like that to last, but maybe that's because ... (read in full...)
I hate my boyfriend's smoking habit!
Q. bit of an awkward one this. has anyone got any ideas how to make someone sort out there appearance? for me its my fellas teeth. its embarassing but he has smoked since he was 14,hes now 41. his teeth are going brown and i cant bear the thought of ...
A. 15 May 2008: You've been together 5 years so you knew he smoked when you started. He won't see it as reasonable for you to insist that he stops now - and anyway, no one gives up smoking unless they really want to. To have you pushing him to do it when it's not ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best mate I'm in love with him?
Q. Hi, Ive known this guy since i was about 6 -7 years old, I'd visit his town every christmas and we'd see each other for the fornight that i was there. We had always had a little bit of a crush on each other, and our parents thought it was cute. ...
A. 15 May 2008: Oh tell him tell him tell him tell him
Then in a couple of years you can send us all invitations to the wedding.... (read in full...)
If I want to look at porn, I have a right, right?
Q. My girlfriend found porn on the computer yesterday that we share. I accidentally left the history up and she looked through it and saw what I had been looking at. I told her I was bored and those websites were in the magazine I was reading so I ...
A. 15 May 2008: The deal is that firstly you lied to her and then you broke your promise to her. Are you surprised she's annoyed with you?
Porn, and erotica, is about sex. It's as simple as that. And sex is an intimate thing between loving partners. I don't ... (read in full...)
I got married twice but I never got divorced
Q. I have made a terrible mistake. I got married in Jamaica 18 years ago. We broke up about 6 months later and neither of us bothered getting divorced because it was in a foreign country and we thought we'd never get found out. I met a new man and we ...
A. 15 May 2008: You probably need a new lawyer who specialises in this. Check out the Law Society's web site and then phone a few of them.
Bigamy is criminal, although prosecutions are rare. Whether or not your second marriage was legal, you are entitled... (read in full...)
How fast is too fast? I don't want him to think I am a slut.
Q. Hi, I was wondering - how fast is too fast? I'm 16 and I met a guy my age the other day and we really hit it off, we got on really well. We ended up making out pretty intensly in a park. He did start undoing my jeans but stopped when I stopped him ...
A. 15 May 2008: It's "as fast as you both find comfortable".
But do consider carefully how far you really want to go. Sex and physical intimacy, is very, very much better between two people to know each other well and love each other deeply. I don't think th... (read in full...)
I want to give my wife a good reason to shave her pubic hair
Q. Hi Readers I have always wanted my wife to shave her pussy, she agrees whilst we are having sex but never gets round to doing it. so i can give her a good reason to do it, 'is there any good reasons or if anyone as any ideas...
A. 15 May 2008: The best reason in the world is "because you like it shaven".
You might have to "nag" a bit!!
... (read in full...)
Is my friend a lesbian?
Q. okay i think my frend is a les she told me she fingers herself and sometimes feels she wants to "do" a girl she is 12 like me is she a les or just desperate or just going thru girly changes...
A. 14 May 2008: Yes; maybe; maybe; and maybe. In that order.
Does it actually matter? She's your friend, and she's at the age when the body, the hormones and the emotions are developing and are about as reliable as a chocolate teapot.
She's your friend. I'... (read in full...)
I kissed my best friend and now I feel awkward
Q. Okay i need bit of advice. baically i been like best friends with this guy for most of my life. We both swim for the same club and have always been very close, in the wa we would have sleepovers together and nothing ever thought of it. but yeah ...
A. 14 May 2008: I'd start by acting as though nothing unusual had happened, and leave it all to him to say or do anything. Maybe that makes me a coward!
But you are right. It's not a big deal. At least, it's not necessarily a big deal, unless both of you want... (read in full...)
Everything about my boyfriend annoys me, but I still really care about him.
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now, and lately it seems like everything he does annoys me. I get annoyed by the way he drives, when he doesn't listen to me, when he lies to me, and even when we are cuddling he annoys me. I really like ...
A. 14 May 2008: Ask yourself whether he has changed or whether it's your attitude to him that has changed.
The first few months (sometimes longer) of physical and emotional attraction in a relationship very often make you blind to the reality. Now the flame is... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm a gay man in a woman's body, but I'm not transgender. Who do I talk to about this?
Q. Ive always had issues with my sexuality - I can remeber having crushes on girls since the age of 9, and then developing feeling for boys later on when i was about 12. I've always fancied boys and girls since then and went all the way through high ...
A. 14 May 2008: And I forgot to mention...
Many "straight" men have fantasies about lesbians. It's different, certainly, but it's not THAT different.
... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm a gay man in a woman's body, but I'm not transgender. Who do I talk to about this?
Q. Ive always had issues with my sexuality - I can remeber having crushes on girls since the age of 9, and then developing feeling for boys later on when i was about 12. I've always fancied boys and girls since then and went all the way through high ...
A. 14 May 2008: I don't think you are so unusual, although I can fully understand why it might be confusing. You sound as though you are coping with it remarkably well.
Look, there are lots of people whose gender isn't defined by the sexual characte... (read in full...)
Any help from girls! Help, is this a period?
Q. hey hey, I started bleeding today from my vagina and methinks it may be periods but i thought id get your opinion.. my blood varys in colour from brownish to bright red is this right?? and i seem to have a continuous flow of blood.. is this normal ...
A. 14 May 2008: Sounds normal to me.
Hey! Ask your Mum. It's what she's there for. This is a time when all girls need their Mum.... (read in full...)
I think about girls when I masturbate. Is this normal?
Q. Heya, Im a young adult who has had a couple of boyfriends, and im very sure im comfortable with my sexuality. However, sometimes when I masturbate I like to think about girls. However out of that situation, in my day to day life, I really do not f...
A. 14 May 2008: Perfectly normal.
It's often far easier to visualise sex that way. I'm most definitely heterosexual, but I can see the sexiness of other women and imagine it were me being that sexy, if you see what I mean (it's difficult to describe, and I do... (read in full...)
Why isn't she getting pregnant? We keep trying...
Q. me and my partner have been having unprotected sex for 18months now! she is 19 and im 22.it may seem young but we are financially stable and want a baby! but she dont seem to get pregnant! is there a problem with either of us?...
A. 14 May 2008: Just before you rush off to the doctor, are you trying too hard? Is the stress of desperately wanting to conceive having an adverse effect on both of you?
Try to take it more calmly. Don't overdo the sex (and, obviously, avoid masturba... (read in full...)
My wife cheated. Now she writes stories and poems about other men.
Q. My wife cheated on me while we were dating. I forgaveand forgot and we got married two years later. After we were married about 3 years she did it again with someone else (about a year ago). She came forward and appologised and asked for one last ...
A. 14 May 2008: Very judgmental, Jitter Cakes?
You should start by asking her about the writing. If she has an over-active imagination, like me, then writing may be a wonderful way to get it out of her system without being unfaithful.
What does she do with the ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 9 May 2008: Actually, I should add that it's normal if they have always been like that. If one has become larger and wasn't previously larger, then you need to consult a doctor to make sure it's not something nasty.... (read in full...)
We're trying to conceive but he can't ejaculate! What can I do?
Q. Hi, I hope some of you will be able to help. This is probably going to be long but I need advice real bad. I don't know what else to do! OKay, so my partner has difficulty ejaculating for some reason. But the sex is good, at least I think so, so i...
A. 9 May 2008: Does he do it all right if you... I can't think of a polite way of putting it... if you give him a handjob?
The answer to that will tell you if it's a medical problem.
If it's not a medical problem, then you need to be a little more inventive -... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 9 May 2008: Yes. Or vice versa.... (read in full...)
I have EXTREMELY bad PMS symptoms, what can I do to reduce their effect before they sabotage my relationship and my own personal well being??
Q. Okay so I have EXTREMELY bad PMS symptoms. I get just about everything known to womankind of this nature. Two weeks before I start my period, my skin breaks out terribly, my stomach cramps, my back aches, I get fatigued, crave junk really ...
A. 9 May 2008: I'm 100% in agreement with Tisha on this one - in fact I know about Cymbalta because one of my friends was taking it. You really need to talk to the doctor urgently about why it was prescribed and whether it is appropriate to your particular ... (read in full...)
My daughter is 19, unmarried and pregnant. Any pointers?
Q. My daughter is 19 and lives with her bf. I was against that decision, but she's grown. Now, she tells me that she is pregnant, I don't know how to handle the situation without alienating her. I don't approve because she is not married. It's not what ...
A. 9 May 2008: Yes, I can give you pointers from the point of view of a parent.
Your children will find their own way in life - which won't necessarily coincide with your views, your ambitions for them, or even your own morality. They won't be clones of you. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife because our sex life is virtually non existent?
Q. Hi i'm thinking of leaving my wife, i like her in many ways but our sex life is virtually non exsistance. I've met a wonderful woman aged 18 who is beautiful and works as a model. The sex is absolutely fantastic. Do think there is a chance for us, ...
A. 9 May 2008: Yes. I think you should leave your wife. I think she deserves to be given the opportunity to find someone else.
If a relationship isn't working, then there's no point in going on with it. And evidently you've either tried to put it right an... (read in full...)
Come on aunts and uncles stop dodging your resposibilities....
Q. I often hear the phrase 'it's not for me to judge'. If no one offers a judgement then how is right and wrong determined in society? Someone batters an old woman, 'it's not for me to judge'....Someone molests a child, 'it's not for me to judge'. Isn...
A. 9 May 2008: Right and wrong is determined by law.
Nearly everything else is a shade of grey that is determined by individual circumstances, individual morality, practicality, opinion and circumstance.
And that's what we do here. We weigh the circumstance... (read in full...)
Can someone shed some light on my secret fantasy?
Q. okay I am hoping someone can shed some light on my secret fantasy. I am not normally turned on by other women, and have a boyfriend, but sometimes certain women really turn me on (if they are attractive and have the right personality). ...
A. 9 May 2008: Don't do it.
NOT because there's anything wrong with you wanting to experiment with another woman, but simply because it's cheating on your boyfriend exactly the same as if you decided to experiment with another man.
Three-way relationships ra... (read in full...)
I said No to a motorcycle trip with himbecause of his bad driving habits, and now he's mad at me!!
Q. My boyfriend just bought another huge motorcycle. He wants to tour around the country on road trips. We are having a big debate about whether I will go with him or not. I am not afraid of riding on bikes but I am terrified of his poor driving ...
A. 5 May 2008: Try to talk him out of it, out of going. Not until he has done the safety course and someone shows him the dangers.
No you're not being irrational. Like most, he has no idea what everyone else will go through if something happens to him on that ... (read in full...)
Can someone please help me...Am I depressed??
Q. I just really need some advice, i guess sometimes it's more helpful hearing advice from people i do not personally know. I'm not sure, but i think I am depressed. I know a doctor can only disgnose someone with depression, but how can one actually...
A. 4 May 2008: I don't think counselling is right for everyone. I don't think prayer is right for everyone.
I think that in the end your answers and the strength to move forward has to come from within you, and although counselling, friends or relative... (read in full...)
I'm not cheating but my boyfriend thinks I am.
Q. I need help, FAST! My boyfriend found 3 messages i'd sent a guy i slept with before.(TOTALLY INNOCENT) He was a colleage, and i HAD to text him regarding work, even though i know i was totally in the wrong for doing it behind my boyfriend's back. ...
A. 4 May 2008: All you can do is to apologise and do your best to explain everything.
My guess is that the trust issue will be far more of a concern to him than the drunken violence. It may be a little odd, and my advice to any girl whose boyfriend had been vio... (read in full...)
Can someone please help me...Am I depressed??
Q. I just really need some advice, i guess sometimes it's more helpful hearing advice from people i do not personally know. I'm not sure, but i think I am depressed. I know a doctor can only disgnose someone with depression, but how can one actually...
A. 2 May 2008: You may be depressed, but it doesn't sound like you have depression. It doesn't hurt to go and talk it through with a doctor. They are the experts and they can go through it all with you and that may help.
Losing someone close makes many peo... (read in full...)
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