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He shaved his pubic hair when I asked him not to!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 October 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *ukibuki writes:

So today is a very sad day for me. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and he's been talking about shaving his pubic hair for a while. Well, today he did it! Why why why? He just came home from work ate dinner and did it while i was sleeping. When he climbed into bed with me it woke me up and i was talking to him for a few and then he said I got something to show you, you might kill me. He showed me his pubic area all shaved and feminine i am in shock! I told him before a million times i like his hair it's masculine. Now he's done it! I really can't believe he shaved when I sincerely love his hair. I hate him shaved he looks so weird. Why did he do this?! Please help me and tell me why he would even after i've told him not to time and time again. Is this any sign of cheating I am very worried. Thanks so much for your time. help me...

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A male reader, MrRod United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2010):

He may be into some kind of fetish that he hasn't told you about, like femdom. Just a thought...

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (9 October 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntActually I think he did it to be cute for you.

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A female reader, kukibuki United States +, writes (9 October 2009):

kukibuki is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks so much to you all. I know now that it was not a big deal. I must have wrote that less than an hour after I found out because i was in shock and had a little pms that day as well. I did talk with him about it later that day when he woke up and he told me he was curious. I guess the thing is that I knew he was curious for sooooo long and that he did it out of the blue like that put me in a bit of shock. I do shave for him but i always have shaved so i dont know. Im very sorry if i wasted any of your time but i do appreciate all of the feedback. My boyfriend and I are doing very well right now and dont worry I really didnt blow it out of proportion towards him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

Oh, it doesn't mean anything, I'm sure.

A few years back, on a whim, I decided to do just that - seemed like a good idea at the time......but dear me, when it started to grow back!

You will laugh for ages at his attempts to scratch things discreetly in public, because of the infernal itching!

NOBODY who isn't strongly into bald pubes should ever do that; I know I won't, ever again.

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A female reader, penelopepitstop United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2009):

penelopepitstop agony auntprob just curious to see what it would look like, and to be honest its so much nicer to have your man shave..but then thats only my opinion, end of the day its his hair..i do understand tho but what can u do guys think they know best lol

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (5 October 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntHe may have wanted to experience it without the hair. You know you can feel more without hair in the way.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (5 October 2009):

Illithid agony auntIt will grow back. It's possible he was just curious how it would look or feel. Maybe now he's got it out of his system and will let it grow back and stay. But besides that, it IS his hair, and you spend a lot less time looking at that hair than the hair on his head.

Many men want their girlfriends to shave but they won't. Here, you wanted him not to shave but he did. Is he still someone you love? Is he still good in bed? Then just take the extra visual inch and ask him not to shave it again when it grows back, but realize that if this is really important to him, it's really his decision. Though... if he keeps shaving, you can threaten to stop shaving yourself. See how he feels about that.

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A male reader, Confuzzled012 United States +, writes (5 October 2009):

Confuzzled012 agony auntWoah woah .. it's HIS pubic hair. You cannot demand that he never shave it! That's very controlling of you. I did it once when my wife didn't want me to and when she saw it she said "oh.. you did it. Why?" And I told her why and she said "oh ok.. but now it's going to be itchy." That's it.. simple. It wasn't a problem and she didn't make it into one.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009):

Well... it will grow back. In the meantime, tell him that the wood floor creeps you out, because it looks pre-pubescent. Tell him you would feel like a pedophile to be intimate with him. Don't have sex with him until it grows back in.

It's amazing how many men shave their public hair bald. I go to a nude beach all the time and I'd say about 80% of men are shaved bald. They say a penis looks bigger without hair, however, the shaved men I see at the beach all have pretty small penises regardless. Personally I trim my pubes, but leave about 3/8 of an inch. I like that look and it's not stubble.

Now women I see at the nude beach... I'd say the number is closer to 50% are shaved bald. Does that make their clit look bigger? Is that a good thing?

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (5 October 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntI think it is little more then a fashion decision. No more or less then the reason women shave in various places.

Should he have done it? Depends on your relationship, does he get to make demands about your grooming?

I can understand where you are coming from, it is all very well to say "you got to accept him/her as she is" but we have a certain image of the person we are with and for you that image of him being masculine because he is hairy.

Without those hairs, your image of him has been altered.

This is however something he wishes. Lets say that he wanted you keep your armpit hair. Would you agree?

What I am trying to get at it is that while it is understandble to be upset about it and feel it is stupid and even a bit inconsiderate (just as you probably shave to be pretty to him, it is not unfair to ask him to not shave to be handsome to you) is this really worth getting so upset about?

3 years you have been together, he tried something new. See what it is like and work something out. Because you got three options:

Split up.

Work out an arrangement.

One gives in.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (5 October 2009):

He's either been watching far too much porn, or he's feeling insecure about his size. Either way, sit him down and ask him why he thought he had to do that.

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