A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Any help here appreciated. Two of my work colleagues are having an affair. He is married and she is not. Everyone kind of knows but to be frank they have been fairly professional about now bringing it into the office. It is not my business and I have a lot going on in my life right now. The trouble is that, all of a sudden, she seems to have targeted me as possible competition for this guy and she is playing the jealous card. I am in a relationship and am not attracted to this guy so she has no worries on this score but she acting like an insecure junior high kid. I cannot really tell her she has nothing to worry about as she is already in an illicit relationship. He seems really nervous about not antagonizing her so it is awkward. How do I deal with this possessive woman? Thank you.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 October 2009):
I wouldn't pay too much attention to her. She's deluded. Having an affair with a married man is just setting her up for heartache. If she persists, just say you really don't care what they're upto. If she goes on after that, don't be afraid to talk to management about it. Don't be bullied.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 Ignore any comments she makes about you and him. It seems to me that sometimes women over-think, over-analyze and over-blow situations.
Its called paranoia. She's projecting onto you something that she's insecure about in herself.
If it gets too nasty and too obvious, the best way to calm her down is tell her whatever she has going on with "him", its none of your business, you don't care; you don't ask any questions and you don't tell.
If she persists, then maybe talk to the guy and tell him she's being too crazy and maybe they ought to think about ending it before they suck the entire universe into their personal affair.
On the other hand, I cannot condemn nor condone what they're doing. They're adults. That means they have to respect everyone around them, including you.
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