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... Send *nowbird a private message | | | *nowbird's profile:I am a mother of 2 grown up boys who have had problems of their own, and I have a lot of experience in relationships, (Was married for 31 years, but to the wrong man), so am about to face a divorce. I have been through a lot of traumas in my personal life, both in my childhood and throughout.
I still see the good in people, though I have been through it somewhat, and still they all say I am very young for my age - something I always reply to that I refuse to get old!!! (Don't like it, won't have it!!!) :o)
I have helped a lot of friends, one bereaved at a young age of her husband, a few who have had cancer, (and survived); one who did not - a family member who has suffered sexual abuse at the hands of a man she was getting to know as her step-dad; one very dear friend who has just died and will be so sorely missed - by many people, not just me; and my sister, who was deserted by her boyfriend of 14 yrs and deprived of ever being able to have a child thanks to him; the list goes on - yes, you could say I have had a lot of life experience. I see things from all sides and try not to judge.
I live in Sale, near Manchester, England.
Without wanting to sound 'cheesy', the things which make me tick are people who go the extra mile for others, and, whilst I am no Mother Theresa, I try to live by the same ethic. After all, why else would we have been put on this earth?? I just hate to see good people being treated badly..we all have to live in this world, after all..
Not really religious, but try to do the right thing! Usually find a sense of humour helps too...thanx for reading this! |
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What's a romantic way to ask my girlfriend to marry me?
Q. Hi, can anyone tell me a nice romantic way to ask someone to marry you? I love my girlfriend and want to ask her to marry me. I can't take her away becasue of the kids, and I don't have the most money in the world, but would like to really romance ...
A. 31 August 2006: Congratulations, you star!!!
Keep up the good work now, you have set yourself the most WONDERFUL precedent!! Be wonderful for each other!! xx SO happy for you!! x... (read in full...)
Why are women such idiots!
Q. Last Wednesday I had a teeney tiny argument with my girlfriend, I later on apologised (even though it wasn't my fault). On Friday I asked her did she want to do something or go somewhere and got no reply.....fine. On Sunday still no word so I rang ...
A. 8 August 2006: Hi Tray-c - ok, point taken...consider though if you will that us 'idiots' sometimes give mature, unbiased and very concise solutions to the questions posed on these pages, as the men do, and a throw-away comment such as this is a bit of a 'slap in ... (read in full...)
How to do sex
Q. im a virgin so i dunno what to actually do with my bf. what should i do when im having sex with him?...
A. 8 August 2006: I won't repeat the advice already given here, as most of it is sound, good common sense, especially with regards to safe sex, making sure that he is really the one to give up your most precious gift to; knowing you are in charge of your own body, ... (read in full...)
This guy wants to have is cake and eat it too
Q. Back with my ex after nearly 4 years apart. I did write in before in July as my ex had said he wanted to get back with me and our son who is almost 6 now. I didn't know whether to believe him as he was living with another woman and kept saying he ...
A. 7 August 2006: Out all night SMOKING??? Now, he IS pulling your chain...!! Sorry, but time to break it to him that whatever constraints the laws are imposing on smokers these days - none of them involve banning smoking in daylight hours!! Kick his ar**!! (Sorry ... (read in full...)
This guy wants to have is cake and eat it too
Q. Back with my ex after nearly 4 years apart. I did write in before in July as my ex had said he wanted to get back with me and our son who is almost 6 now. I didn't know whether to believe him as he was living with another woman and kept saying he ...
A. 7 August 2006: Out all night SMOKING??? Now, he IS pulling your chain...!! Sorry, but time to break it to him that whatever constraints the laws are imposing on smokers these days - none of them involve banning smoking in daylight hours!! Kick his ar**!! (Sorry ... (read in full...)
What's a romantic way to ask my girlfriend to marry me?
Q. Hi, can anyone tell me a nice romantic way to ask someone to marry you? I love my girlfriend and want to ask her to marry me. I can't take her away becasue of the kids, and I don't have the most money in the world, but would like to really romance ...
A. 7 August 2006: Can't wait to hear how you got on!! Really hope it went well! :o)... (read in full...)
Can you forgive cheating behaviour?
Q. I am just curious as to whether or not people in general think that a cheating partner can be forgiven. If so, do you think that they are most likely going to do it again? Just wondering about what people thought of this kind of stuff. Thanks!...
A. 5 August 2006: It very much depends what caused them to look elsewhere in the first place - or whether it was a one-night stand, or a romatic affair which involved a lot of lies told and a lot of time stolen from the spouse/family. Also whether money has been ... (read in full...)
My girl is just sooooo annoying!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for over 8 months now and after about 5 months ish i have found her more annoying than when i first met her. Just little things like how she speaks and how she acts around her mum etc make me cringe and annoy me. ...
A. 5 August 2006: Have YOU tried any input with regards to planning anything? You can't just arrive and sit around counting tufts in the carpet, knowing what was in store for you before you even went to her house! Why don't you take a book, if you have to stay in, ... (read in full...)
He offered to get my winning lottery ticket paid... and the win ended up paying his loan!
Q. My boyfriend offered to help me by taking my winning lottery ticket to the claim center for me. It was a good idea because I cannot leave the house as I take care of my mother on life support. The claim center took the funds and applied it to his ...
A. 5 August 2006: Here, here!! I agree with all the others on this one - he has taken advantage of you in the most despicable way possible, and I would tell him that he should have taken YOUR feelings into account before stealing from you..All theives say they 'will ... (read in full...)
How do you tell the difference between a crush, infatuation and real love?
Q. How do you know when you're in love? Simple question, complicated theory eh? How do you seperate love from a crush, or an infatuation? ...
A. 5 August 2006: I have thought long and hard on this one, and IMHO there is no immediate answer - only time can tell if you will still fancy and love the 'significant other' when he has gone bald, grown a pot belly, and lost all his/(her) teeth!!
For sure, a ... (read in full...)
Should I move out? Should my boyfriend?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend 16 years. We have 3 children and a mortgage. But all of a sudden things have changed. He goes out every weekend, sometimes doesn't come home until morning. He doesn't talk to me when he does; he just grunts at me. H...
A. 5 August 2006: You guys have a lot of history together, and 3 children also. Has he considered what it will do to them if he/you leaves? Could this be just a temporary blip, or is something really getting to him? Have you sought any form of counselling, say, ... (read in full...)
What's a romantic way to ask my girlfriend to marry me?
Q. Hi, can anyone tell me a nice romantic way to ask someone to marry you? I love my girlfriend and want to ask her to marry me. I can't take her away becasue of the kids, and I don't have the most money in the world, but would like to really romance ...
A. 3 August 2006: Hannieseds' idea is the nicest thing I have ever heard!!
OR: I found a website - just google 'romantic proposals' and it comes up with some great ideas - PLEASE let us know how you get on!!!... (read in full...)
Anyway got any ideas how I can subtley make some changes to get us back on track ?
Q. When we first met a year ago, me and my boyfriend were all about the sex, all of the time. We would think it, breathe it, talk it, text it, you name it, we were up for it. Now as our relationship has progressed, we are not as frantic and sexu...
A. 3 August 2006: I would just start by sending him a text or two saying something such as "Hi, sexy", blah blah blah thinking about you all overcome with emulsion, etc - just something playful to keep him thinking about you..nothing which makes him feel obligated to ... (read in full...)
He met a younger girl, why has he thrown away 20 years for someone so much younger ?
Q. I am fifty one and have been with my partner about twenty years. I am still attractive and vivacious. My partner has just told me that he has met someone else. He mentioned that she is 27 and that she makes him feel young. I know that this happens a ...
A. 3 August 2006: I do feel for you. It seems as though he is going through a 'mid-life crisis' He will come down to earth with a bump when that one gets tired of him wanting to go clubbing, only to find he is too tired to keep up with her!
I'd be prepared to bet ... (read in full...)
He no longer finds me sexually attractive so he wants my permission to find a f*ckbuddy
Q. I have been married to my husband for 12 years, and we have been faithfully together for 16 years, Renently I was diagnoised with cancer, we made it through the post op and everything fine, unfortunatly I put on about 170 lbs and he dosn't find me ...
A. 3 August 2006: I agree with the other posters - what a low ball to roll on you at this very difficult time in your life! 16 years together and now this!! What a shock for you ...He sounds so insensitive! Ask him how he would feel if the shoe were on the other ... (read in full...)
This guy wants to have is cake and eat it too
Q. Back with my ex after nearly 4 years apart. I did write in before in July as my ex had said he wanted to get back with me and our son who is almost 6 now. I didn't know whether to believe him as he was living with another woman and kept saying he ...
A. 3 August 2006: Why don't you just write her a note phone her and tell her he is back with you - the mother of his child?? Tell her to stop pestering him, - as it is really intrusive - and leave you both alone. If, as he claims, he needs to see her for any ... (read in full...)
Didn't know what I had until after I dumped him
Q. ok i used to date this guy who was two years older than me and it was really hard bcuz a ton of chics likd him.but this was the first guy that asked me out cuz he likd me for me and not bcuz he thought i was hott or easy or somethin lik that. but i ...
A. 3 August 2006: I would agree with RJ, and ask him if he has a girlfriend..He obviously thought a lot of you, and it will do no harm to just ask. However, if he does have someone else, then you will have to respect that, take a back seat for now and see how it ... (read in full...)
Should I take him back and work on our relationship problems, or just leave things as they are?
Q. This guy "George" and I have been friends since I started high school, and were friends throughout. A year ago we started seeing each other romantically. Two months ago George proposed to me and I happily accepted. Everything seemed picture ...
A. 3 August 2006: I think distance has played it's part to spoil things for you. If all else in the relationship was going well and you were at least communicating, then I would say give it another try. Ask him to delete his profile (he did'nt use it, after all, ... (read in full...)
Ive got trust issues with my bf and I cant help myself! Ive been lied to before, and cant get passed it!
Q. I am just now discovering i have a major problem. I have been snooping on my boyfrined to where it is becoming like an obsession. He told me what his access codes are while ago (btw we have been seeing each other for 1 yr) and i never really cared ...
A. 2 August 2006: I have been through exactly the same issue with my man, and it is true - you can't help yourself, once you have been lied to. You think you owe it to yourself to look for clues and find answers...it is like having an itch you can't scratch - after ... (read in full...)
Can a seven year age gap work, is it worth taking the risk ?
Q. Very longwinded, so sit tight. I am a 14 year old girl. I have always ran with an older crowd, most friends being 17+, no reason behind it just for some reason the people I meet and get along with are a few more years than I am. So here is my pre...
A. 2 August 2006: You do appear to be an extremely level-headed, intelligent and sensible young lady. BUT - and it is a BIG but!! - You could get him arrested!! I am not concerned, however, about the actual age gap, if it were not for that I would say go ahead and ... (read in full...)
I accepted a marriage proposal but I'd rather play the field some more
Q. right here it goes. i am currently dating man A but i am starting to have feelings for another lets call him man B, i am 16 years old. Man A has proposed to me and i accepted but i really like this other guy. PLEASE HELP ME!!!...
A. 2 August 2006: WHOA!!! Hold your horses, girl!! So, so young to tie yourself down at your tender age!!!
I was married at the age of 18, and had my first child soon after. I thought I was 'in love' with my husband, and had to be satisfied with just being 'con... (read in full...)
I am in love with a cheating, lying woman
Q. I need advice I have a girlfriend who has a love in Cuba during her vacations there (4 times) I came into the picture a year ago. I have fallen in love with her during that time. But she continues to communicate with this person via email an...
A. 2 August 2006: It does look as if she is keeping her options open and stringing the two of you along. Why are you interested in a woman who already has a serious relationship anyway?? She says he knows all about you - so call her bluff and drop him an e-mail, as ... (read in full...)
What is going on with this guy???
Q. What would you make of a guy who appears to fancy you, that is keeps looking at you, asks what's on your sandwich, seems to come up with issues as if he is comparing his likes to yours, but then does not come to you when he is upset or distressed. ...
A. 2 August 2006: Anon, you have made some valid points, and yes, I DO think you should sign up- you would make an excellent agony aunt!!
I would just add my humble contribution, if I may, and say that as he still has not gotten over the break-up of his marr... (read in full...)
He wants us to be swingers - I need to cover my ears so I don't hear what he is saying!
Q. My husband jokingly asked me if it was a good idea that we became swingers. He said that if he never married with me and that if he were single that he would find himself a girlfriend thatwouldnt mind pretending that they were married just so that ...
A. 1 August 2006: If you do not like what he is saying, then tell him you WILL NOT discuss it further. It is your absolute right to do so, and he should respect your wishes. You are his wife, for God's sake! Is this how he usually gets his own way, by 'getting you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's saying things that make me feel trapped and manipulated!
Q. Somthing my girlfriend said a few weeks back has bugged me so I need too know what anyone else thinks of it. We have been going out over 8 months and have had sex after both agreeing and we both love each other. However she said that 'if I ever ...
A. 1 August 2006: Good Grief, what a drama queen! Used and abused?? Why? Did she not enjoy sex too? She should feel lucky that you respect her feelings and wishes all this time, making you wait for as long as 8 months without sex, fair enough as long as you BOTH are ... (read in full...)
Is it just me, or do other guys cringe when their girlfriends pledge undying love?
Q. I have been in my relationship now with my GF for over 8 months and I do love her. However whenever she talks about the future I cringe and don't like it. When she talks about 'in a few years' etc etc I don't like it. I have always been the type too ...
A. 1 August 2006: Sorry, I can see what eyeswideopen means, but it obviously IS a 'biggy' to her, and ignoring it may cause her undue distress if she finds out at a later stage that it is not going to happen. Put her in the picture gently (she sounds rather a sweet ... (read in full...)
I want him out of my house!
Q. How do I get my boyfriend that I don't want anymore to move out of my house?...
A. 1 August 2006: Yes, all this advice is good. So if you want him out, and you have told him, yet STILL he does not get the message, just pack his bags when he is out, take them somewhere where he can collect them, and then text him telling him where he can find ... (read in full...)
I really want to be friends with my social group's new addition, but she treats me like I'm an old lady!
Q. I have a small group of very good friends, who I have a very strong bond with. We have been friends for years, and we are actually more like family to each other. We also have a wide circle of other friends, who we mix with either together or ...
A. 1 August 2006: I was at the recieving end of this kind of 'in-fighting' - similar to being bullied at school. She is trying to use you as a way to ingratiate herself into the group. Trouble is, she will find it hard going if your friends, knowing you better than ... (read in full...)
Ive met a guy who my parents say is "out of my league" should I do what makes them happy ?
Q. Have met a guy who my parents consider out of my league. They think i can do better, maybe i can but i've fallen for this guys kind caring ways. At same time i don't want to let my family down - do i just move on in the hope that someone better ...
A. 27 July 2006: What then, is he a drug-dealer, armed robber, ex-con or what?
If not a seedy character, and is a kind, honest boy with integrity who treats you with all the respect you deserve, then good luck to you. Do try to find out exactly why they obje... (read in full...)
I want him out of my house!
Q. How do I get my boyfriend that I don't want anymore to move out of my house?...
A. 27 July 2006: Not enough info to go on - can you please give a bit more detail so we can help you; such as:
1) Have you asked him to leave yet; and is he being stubborn?
2) Is he violent? - you may need assistance from the police in this case
3) Can you h... (read in full...)
I feel like hes getting bored with me after only six months, how can I keep it alive ?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and i feel like hes getting bored of me and i do not want to loose him because he means the world to me what can i do to keep him happy and occupied we already have a sexual relationship how can i spice it ...
A. 27 July 2006: Yes, HotAdvice, I agree to some extent, but he may not realise that he appears bored, and the girl has asked how SHE can spice things up - This 'crap'(?) is FUN; and the girl WANTS fun in her life..Who is to say that he won't reciprocate with a few ... (read in full...)
I have a wonderful guy whom I trust and love... but I can't get his 100 past sexual encounters out of my mind!
Q. I need people to tell me if I'm being crazy and how to get over this! I have a wonderful boyfriend. He treats me fantastically, he's loyal and trustworthy, he'd never cheat and basically worships the ground I walk on. However, there is one thi...
A. 27 July 2006: Good that you are using condoms - there are super-sensitive ones out now which are supposed to increase the friction - therefore give a mind-blowing feeling! As for your guy - well can you explain to me if he is not enjoying what you have to offer, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't decide whether to settle down with me for a while, or look for thrills with someone else!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now. The relationship is a pretty good one--we enjoy each other's company, laugh, joke and talk a lot, we share a lot of the same interests and hobbies, don't argue a whole lot. He is very ...
A. 27 July 2006: You don't tell us how old you both are, but he sounds a tad immature to me, even though he has been honest with you, he has left it a bit late in the day to tell you that! He will miss out on a hell of a lot if he goes through life just selfishly ... (read in full...)
I said yes to sex, but now im not sure, should I go on the pill anyway ?
Q. This boy i know(i no another question about a guy but...)sed he really wanted to have sex with me and i really like him so i sed yes but now he ses hes going to ask this other girl out...the thing is hes a bit of a playa and i dont think it will ...
A. 26 July 2006: Please, PLEASE listen to Shania, and furthermore you should be using condoms AS WELL - or you will not only end up with a broken heart if you sleep with this player, but possibly an STD or worse, to boot!! Look after yourself, you only live once, ... (read in full...)
I'm with a very hot girl... and if we have sex I'm afraid I might only last seconds!
Q. I started talking to this girl and we've been together for 2 weeks now. I've been pretty pumped because she's the "hottest" girl in our high school many would say. But whenever she gives me head, I go wayy too fast. We're saying minute man even.. h...
A. 26 July 2006: Try masturbating before you see her, to relieve some of the pressure. And DO involve a lot of foreplay - for HER - so that she gets pleasure out of it too. If she has an orgasm this way, at least she won't feel short-changed!! Go slow, and just ... (read in full...)
I'm a 14 year old in a secret relationship with a 20 year old. What are your throughs?
Q. Ok well I've met this wonderful guy! And we've gotten really close like so close he is willing to do almost anything for me. The only problem is our ages. I'm 14 about to turn 15 in a couple months and he's just turned 20 two days ago. Now we have ...
A. 26 July 2006: P.s. - I take it that you have'nt actually been 'rubbing uglies' (having sex) yet, and that is what you meant by him "not being forceful"?? I DO hope so! Look after yourself.... (read in full...)
I would like to get a prenup drawn up to protect the family business, he says he wont marry me if I do this, am I in the wrong ?
Q. Hi, I am planning to get married in April 2008, my Mum and dad have a really good family run business which I have worked really hard at for the past 6 years. I have mentioned a prenuptual agreement as I would hate it to be distroyed in the...
A. 26 July 2006: Oh, oh...alarm bells are ringing here.. call his bluff and see what he does - If he will not marry you chances are his values are suspect - he wants to feather his nest more than he wants you, so you can take it as a warning. He should understand ... (read in full...)
I feel like hes getting bored with me after only six months, how can I keep it alive ?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and i feel like hes getting bored of me and i do not want to loose him because he means the world to me what can i do to keep him happy and occupied we already have a sexual relationship how can i spice it ...
A. 26 July 2006: Go out to a few new places with him, bowling, say, or play or learn a sport together and maybe even a trip to the local Ann Summers shop, or look on a website for ideas. Phone him at work and tell him that you are feeling horny, and you are ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he looks at his old wedding album ?
Q. I am a 21 year old female who has just moved in with a man of 35. I love him a great deal and we have spoken about marriage and children. He is divorced and i accidentally saw his wedding pictures which were hidden away. I have started to suspect ...
A. 26 July 2006: It is possible that a bit of nostalgia has come over him, not for his ex, but the day itself. It is just a part of his family history, and - probably as the idea of impending marriage to you and his feelings for you which have now exceeded those for ... (read in full...)
I want a little more phyiscal contact but my gf can't do anything but i''ve found somebody else that can!
Q. Ok, check this out. I love my girlfriend but i like this other girl. Now the situation is this, since me and my grilfriend can't do anything at all i feel that our relationship is at a stand still and i kinda want to date soemone else so that we can ...
A. 26 July 2006: What are you saying here?? That, as your girl (who you claim to LOVE) has the temerity to go and catch chicken pox, you are now eyeing up someone else?? UNbelievable!! Well I say, leave her and p*** off - you will be doing the poor kid a favour. ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my ex boyfriend for good without him destroying himself ?
Q. Okay world, I need Help... I am 19 and have been with my boyfriend for three years. However, in the past six months he has been distant and cold. We haven't had sex since april. I was really ready to dump him because he was always off with his ...
A. 25 July 2006: BIT him, you say?? - EEK!! I don't know the guy of course, but he does seem a posessive 'head case' to me, and violent with it!! Trust me, if not nipped in the bud now, will only get worse. So get rid - and QUICK! My sister had a similar ... (read in full...)
My dad heard the sex talk I was having with my boyfriend on the phone
Q. I'm a college student who hasn’t lived at home for 2 years and i’m back for the summer. I was on the phone with my boyfriend late at night that I recently went and visited and apparently my dad heard out entire conversation about sex and even heard ...
A. 25 July 2006: I agree with Martini on this one. I'm wondering if your dad has mentioned it yet? He must be really embarrassed by it, does he know that you know? Also, has he any cause for concern about your boyfriend? Perhaps it would help if he knew him, or ... (read in full...)
I'm a 14 year old in a secret relationship with a 20 year old. What are your throughs?
Q. Ok well I've met this wonderful guy! And we've gotten really close like so close he is willing to do almost anything for me. The only problem is our ages. I'm 14 about to turn 15 in a couple months and he's just turned 20 two days ago. Now we have ...
A. 21 July 2006: You sound like a very level-headed and sensible girl. The actual age gap is not a concern. I don't know any more than anyone else how much longer the relationship will last as you, at 14, still have a lot of changes to go through before you have the ... (read in full...)
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