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... Send *nowbird a private message | | | *nowbird's profile:I am a mother of 2 grown up boys who have had problems of their own, and I have a lot of experience in relationships, (Was married for 31 years, but to the wrong man), so am about to face a divorce. I have been through a lot of traumas in my personal life, both in my childhood and throughout.
I still see the good in people, though I have been through it somewhat, and still they all say I am very young for my age - something I always reply to that I refuse to get old!!! (Don't like it, won't have it!!!) :o)
I have helped a lot of friends, one bereaved at a young age of her husband, a few who have had cancer, (and survived); one who did not - a family member who has suffered sexual abuse at the hands of a man she was getting to know as her step-dad; one very dear friend who has just died and will be so sorely missed - by many people, not just me; and my sister, who was deserted by her boyfriend of 14 yrs and deprived of ever being able to have a child thanks to him; the list goes on - yes, you could say I have had a lot of life experience. I see things from all sides and try not to judge.
I live in Sale, near Manchester, England.
Without wanting to sound 'cheesy', the things which make me tick are people who go the extra mile for others, and, whilst I am no Mother Theresa, I try to live by the same ethic. After all, why else would we have been put on this earth?? I just hate to see good people being treated badly..we all have to live in this world, after all..
Not really religious, but try to do the right thing! Usually find a sense of humour helps too...thanx for reading this! |
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I don't know about my online lover!
Q. I met the man I'm seeing on a dating website. We see each other 2-3 times a week and the relationship has turned physical. He says he wants a relationship but then I find he still logs onto the site we met on. He says he doesnt when I spoke to him. ...
A. 3 July 2006: Hi, I have friends who, like me, have had this problem.. one of my friends has challenged her guy about it and he said that dating online was like a "sweetie shop - you go in for a packet of humbugs..and WOW!! all these sweeties!!!"
So it's just... (read in full...)
What is a posh wank?
Q. I've heard my mates talk about it but I'm too embarrased to ask what they're on about.......... What is a "posh wank"?...
A. 3 July 2006: I say, old crate, old bean - fancy that, old chum - one learns something new every day, doesn't one, what, what!!?... (read in full...)
My wife just isn't interested in sex, and it's driving me mad!
Q. Hi, I have a question. I'm 27. I'm in marriage that's devoid of affection and sex, and I'm losing my mind. Basically, I'm the only man on the planet not having regular sex, and the sexual fustration makes me deeply depressed. My wife is cool per...
A. 3 July 2006: I am so sorry for you, and I do admire your patience - you are certainly NOT a bad person. Perhaps her illness is getting in the way. Is she having treatment for her existing condition, and could she mention it to her doctor? Is this something ... (read in full...)
How can I get sticky-out nips?
Q. Hi, I'm a guy, in pretty good shape although I don't go to gym, I've got my flat abs my pecks although they are a lot more capable of looking even better, my question is, and I know this'll sound daft, but how can I make my nipples stick out more, ...
A. 2 July 2006: How about those nipple formers which enable mothers to feed their babies - they suck the nipple into a more 'accessible' shape..I think you can buy them from most large chemists - maybe a sympathetic lady freind could help you out here!?... (read in full...)
Worried about my girlfriend and her friend
Q. Hi all, I really love my girlfriend but I'm so scared of her leaving me I'm putting her off I thought we had a perfect relationship but one day I (shamefully) read her mobile inbox. I found some messages off a guy who I beleive is an old frie...
A. 30 June 2006: I hope the benefit of my experience helps, though it may not be the same dynamics, it's up to you to know best as you are in the relationship..I was seeing a guy last year - attractive, but a bit of a flirt, and maybe a player,too, he lives the ... (read in full...)
My BF told me he didn't think I was beautiful when he first met me!
Q. My boyfriend has been telling me that I am beautiful since we have been going out... we just had our 1 year a few days ago. There gets to be a certain point in your realtionship where you actually start to believe that your beautiful. 2 days ago...
A. 30 June 2006: Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, it really is true - and far better that he thought you pretty enough to go out with when he met you, bonus is that now he knows you better, he finds you beautiful - praise indeed!!
I met a man online - no... (read in full...)
My ex keeps texting me and it's jerking my chain every time!
Q. Hello, I have a prob and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've written in before about the suprise breakup, and that after a month of not talking nor texting which was really very hard I kept my distance, then one day in the early hours of the ...
A. 30 June 2006: Is he really that bad, or are you just feeling hurt and rejected? That can really cloud your judgement..you know him better than any of the agony aunts, and are in a better position to guage whether he is sincere, or just curious and pampering his ... (read in full...)
Married but exchanging erotic emails with another women
Q. My first cousin's wife and I have been exchanging erotic mails. We are both married and we discuss about sex lives and likes and dislikes. She has kids and I have none. There is a huge age difference between us but she seems comfortable about that. ...
A. 30 June 2006: Well yes, what do you mean, what do you do!!!?
You have to ask yourself if you are getting/giving all you can - and should be - to your wife..
If that is not enough then that is the problem you have to address!
Are you happy with your wife, and ho... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he's been faking his orgasms!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and we've been having sex for 4. We're both 18. I've never noticed anything wrong, but he told me last night he doesn't always cum during sex. He's been faking cumming when I give him a blow job. I've alw...
A. 27 June 2006: It all comes with experience, perhaps also you can look up on google - just type in "tips on oral sex" - there is a wealth of info out there! Ask your boyfriend to have a look with you. Get him to tell you what makes him feel horny, and tell him to ... (read in full...)
Why do we have to keep our relationship a secret?
Q. hi, i go to the park every week with my sister and we met some boys there and we got to know them. we have all now been going to the park together every week for a year. recently the one i fancied asked me out and i said yes. but he said "lets keep ...
A. 27 June 2006: Maybe he is just shy and knows some of them will tease him if they all know about it - or perhaps there is another reason? Maybe he is seeing someone from the park and does'nt want her to know? Sounds suspicious, but sometimes you just don't know! ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong if I were to date my E'xs sister ?
Q. I was recently dumped after a long relationship and my ex now has someone else, she left me for him although she will not admit this. I still have feelings for her but realsie we could never get together again if she left her new boyfriend as the ...
A. 27 June 2006: Question asked, question answered, so it would seem. Quite honestly, I would cut your losses and move on, as her sister would always be wondering if you were going out with her just to keep tabs on her sister, and it would also cause trouble and ... (read in full...)
He persued me for 1.5 years now we hooked up for 4 weeks he's already gotten cold feet!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 weeks. We,ve known each other for about 1yr 1/2, everytime we saw each other he'd ask to take me out, but because he is 2 years younger than me i put off the idea. Eventually i agreed, and we had the best ...
A. 27 June 2006: Dr. Psyche is spot on, and I can't help thinking that he is one of those guys who wants to 'keep his options open' and keep a few girls on the end of a string ... I have been there, and promised myself that I would never again be a puppet for any ... (read in full...)
I couldn't talk to my ex after she ended but she keeps on trying to get to me!
Q. Ok, so I hadn't talked my to my ex for a little over a month. She broke it off with me about 4 1/2 months ago and started seeing a new guy within a week or two. We went out for over a year and I thought that we would be with eachother forever. I ...
A. 27 June 2006: It could be that you are mis-reading the signals. Is this what she did when she was with you, keeping contact with her ex'es? Maybe she:
a) feels guilty about the way it ended
b) is keeping her options open, as maybe it is not as great as she t... (read in full...)
Breast feeding my new baby has some ... interesting effects on me!
Q. Hello, I am a 27 year old new mom. This will sound weird but I'm very embarrassed to ask this to any friends or family, as it is obviously a little strange. I breast feed, and every time I do so, I get turned on. Now I would NEVER do anything...
A. 27 June 2006: Your nipples have exactly the same nerve endings as they did before, and are every bit as sensitive - it is nothing but a mechanical reaction... did you not get turned on when your husband played with them?? Of course you did!!
Many women get turn... (read in full...)
Updated - the sex still hurts!
Q. updated...During sex when I cum he keeps going and it hurts really bad! It is right after my orgasm and then he keeps going and I have told him to stop but I feel like I leave him unsatisfied. It is like a friction burn maybe from the condom when ...
A. 27 June 2006: Poor you! ... have you tried lubricating yourself with ky jelly or something similar (not vaseline as it reacts with the latex, dissolves it I believe)? Maybe as he is taking so long to reach an orgasm himself you could give him a 'helping hand' ... (read in full...)
Captain of the football team or Captain of sleaze?
Q. I am a 17 year old female who has a crush on the captain of the football team. His name is Kevin. He always sees me in the hallways and makes sure he walks by me and he says hey. At lunch one day he was behind me and he rubbed his member past my ...
A. 27 June 2006: Not enough information to give a rounded view of the situation, really, but here goes...
From what you say about his 'wooing' of you, i.e., rubbing himself on you - I would say that he is somewhat disrespectful of you and that should have been a cl... (read in full...)
So hard to make conversation with him, but I caught him staring at me! Is he interested?
Q. Hi I like this guy, but I'm not sure how to go about it. He is a good friend of my friend, (they are flatmates), but I'm not sure if he likes me back. I haven't really made much conversation with him. The thing is, me and my friend stayed over at ...
A. 26 June 2006: You don't mention how old / experienced you both are?
He may just be young and has not had too much experience, or he could feel that you may regard him as a bit of an 'opportunist' of he made the first move. Perhaps if you phoned the house when... (read in full...)
Why is my BF baiting me and trying to make me jealous?
Q. My boyfriend is always trying to make me jealous. One time he was in vacation and he texted me to tell me one of his female friends were skinny dipping. Then when I was like "okay that's too much information for me" his responce was "chill... she's ...
A. 26 June 2006: I have been through this one and it seems that some men just can't grow up and stop attention-seeking.
My b/f had just finished telling me how committed he was to our relationship and how much he loved me when we were on a romantic night out on holi... (read in full...)
I wasn't "ever" going to have a relationship again, and now I'm panicking that I feel close to someone!
Q. Hi there! I have written in here a while ago about my lying, cheating ex. I'd vowed to myself that I would never have another relationship after ending the last one - very painful relationship and ending. I didn't think I'd ever open up to anyone ...
A. 26 June 2006: Woah there...!
Please don't tar all men with the same brush.. It sounds as if you have had 9 yrs of bad treatment at the mercy of at least one uncaring partner, and you are letting his mistakes - and those of others - cloud your judgement - beli... (read in full...)
Is ten times a day too much sex?
Q. I have sex 8-10 times a day with my husband and it's starting to hurt but I still enjoy it should I take it down a notch or what? ...
A. 24 June 2006: Yep, buy a t.v. and tune into somethin non-sexual..think penguins, polar bears...oh, no they show them mating, don't they?...!! Sport - yes, sport...nope, all those muscles, all that passion...
oh, well, I tried..er, and your problem is...?? Well... (read in full...)
Online hottie has set my pants on fire!
Q. Hi All, Just a small question really; About a month or so ago, i started talking to a girl i met online, and we've got on like a house on fire! She e-mails me, i email her, she txts me etc etc... we're arranging a meet up, and we've even start...
A. 24 June 2006: Hi there,
Having been on a dating website myself, I would say go for it, but be even more careful regarding the possibility of her not being what she appears to be.
My sister had some experiences, the most memorable were
1) when she was as excit... (read in full...)
Am I pretty?
Q. This is a weird question but..... Do I have a pretty face? Cause I really dont know. Girls I know say I am ugly, some boys say I am hot then others say I'm a 'dog', My work colleagues think i am pretty, my teacher thinks I'm gorgeous but my frien...
A. 23 June 2006: Hi there,
You describe the same features as myself (above), apart from the fact that I have dark hair. However I am 52 yrs of age, so obviously we are going to be different for me, wrinkles etc, too (yay!).
For most of my childhood I was taunted ... (read in full...)
Why does my partner lavish so much attention on his ex?
Q. Hi i have been with my partner for 5 years, he has 3 children and his exwife lives locally. She has partner. My partner keeps saying he'll divorce her but that he hasn't gotten round to it. When she asks, he takes her car to get serviced, leaving ...
A. 22 June 2006: I would not be worried about him doing things for his children - they need their dad, and he is only doing his duty for them, which is after all, their right. But the car issue - well, that really does suck, particularly as she has a partner.... (read in full...)
Which one of these three men should I choose?
Q. Im in a bit of a dilemma at the moment. Ive dated lots of men from dating sites since the separation with my ex husband but ive been let down by nearly all of them in one way or another, so ive always had to keep my options open. Now I have 3 men ...
A. 22 June 2006: I was in the same boat - I had met M last July and tho he is 11 yrs younger than me, and rarely contacted me, I really liked him and got to know and like him a lot. Well, even now, he keeps popping up', sending me funny text messages and phoning ... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities ruin a relationship!
Q. I did something really stupid. I had the perfect relationship with a guy i was completely in love with, but i fucked it up because of my insecurities within the relationship. He text me with 'just to say i love you' and i replied with 'i wish i ...
A. 22 June 2006: Hi, You both seem to be in love, which is a good start! You don't mention exactly how bad/often he is flirting? Is it with strangers when you are around, or with your friends - does it involve physically touching them, and does he have a bit of a... (read in full...)
My neighbour watches me masturbate!
Q. My neighbour's daughter has a habit of hanging around at my place whenever i am alone at home. I have the habit of masturbating and she enjoys watching me. This has been going on for three years or more. Now I am getting attracted towards her and ...
A. 21 June 2006: You mention that she is at your house when you are playing with yourself - do you let her in, or does she just walk in?? I am wondering - are you about 65, she 14???!!! If so, then you want locking up, better still, castrating!!
If you are in the ... (read in full...)
I'm paranoid that my boyfriend is having an affair..
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, but for the last six months I've been torturing myself over whether he's having an affair. Deep down I actually really don't think he's the type, or has the time, to have an affair, but since one ...
A. 21 June 2006: I am going through a similar dilemma myself. My boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me, in every way but this.
However, he had a condom in a washbag which he only ever uses for his business overnight trips to London. He dism... (read in full...)
My wife had an affair a while ago, I've just found out and im finding it really hard to deal with it!
Q. i have recently discovered my wife had an afrfair some time ago and am finding it really hard to cope with, my life has been turned upside down and i get very angry, i am finding it very hard to forgive what she has done to me, but i do still love ...
A. 21 June 2006: Looking at it from another point of view, I once had an affair, after 31 years of marriage to a man who, in retrospect, I should never have been with. Not a bad man, but decades before it happened, on several occasions, his own mother told me that ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a past and I am not sure what to do
Q. Let me get straight to the point. I have a girl friend whose history is really bad. I will let you be the judge. She is 17 and has been with 23 guys. She started having sex when she was 15. She graduated from high school early, so over the course ...
A. 21 June 2006: Ditto the above answers - in particular Dr. Pete and Dr. Psych - some girls are only too willing to give it up the first time they meet a guy - have you ever heard of 'one night stands'?? Never has been my thing personally, but people are all ... (read in full...)
What shall I do about my boyfriend?
Q. For once in my life ive met a lovely man who texts me and rings me all the time, ive met him 8 times now over the last couple of months, we have got closer and both really feel for one another, but he has only been split up from his wife since begin ...
A. 21 June 2006: You say his wife left him in Jan, but if Xmas was just around the corner when you wrote this, maybe you are clearer in your mind now about things? Do you have only his side of the story, about why his wife left him? Have you met any more of his ... (read in full...)
I feel so alone and hurt, I really cant get over my ex, please help!
Q. My ex and I broke up, and I haven't spoken with my ex for a month, and it's been really hard, although I am getting stronger, but last night I had a dream that felt so real and I saw him and he wanted to get back with me, and when I woke up it ...
A. 21 June 2006: You poor little bird, I so sympathise with you, it sounds like you could do with one or two trusted pals to come around with a good dvd and a bottle of wine.. Trust me, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I PROMISE this time next year - ... (read in full...)
I got caught having an affair... non-judgemental advice needed!
Q. I am in deep trouble. My wife has come to know about my affair with a married woman. Initially it was for sex but I fell in love with this woman and now I am committed to her too. I cant leave my wife because I love her as well. Both these women are ...
A. 21 June 2006: Hi there, I totally agree with Wendyg above, you have to come clean - the worst turnout is that you are going to end up alone, without either of these women, but you will still have an entitlement to see your kids. Of course, whether they wil... (read in full...)
Shes suddenly lost interest, how do I get her interested again ?
Q. she has started keeping quiet when i call on phone and when i asked her that have lost interest in tooking to me she was very proud to say yes. so how do i gain her interest again and make thing get rolling i love this girl and am very sure i dont ...
A. 21 June 2006: Hi there, In my experience I find that it helps to 'cool off' a little and find other interests - perhaps not being so 'available'? Perhaps you may have been a little demanding, or coming across as being too 'needy'? Beleive me, I have been o... (read in full...)
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