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... Send *nowbird a private message | | | *nowbird's profile:I am a mother of 2 grown up boys who have had problems of their own, and I have a lot of experience in relationships, (Was married for 31 years, but to the wrong man), so am about to face a divorce. I have been through a lot of traumas in my personal life, both in my childhood and throughout.
I still see the good in people, though I have been through it somewhat, and still they all say I am very young for my age - something I always reply to that I refuse to get old!!! (Don't like it, won't have it!!!) :o)
I have helped a lot of friends, one bereaved at a young age of her husband, a few who have had cancer, (and survived); one who did not - a family member who has suffered sexual abuse at the hands of a man she was getting to know as her step-dad; one very dear friend who has just died and will be so sorely missed - by many people, not just me; and my sister, who was deserted by her boyfriend of 14 yrs and deprived of ever being able to have a child thanks to him; the list goes on - yes, you could say I have had a lot of life experience. I see things from all sides and try not to judge.
I live in Sale, near Manchester, England.
Without wanting to sound 'cheesy', the things which make me tick are people who go the extra mile for others, and, whilst I am no Mother Theresa, I try to live by the same ethic. After all, why else would we have been put on this earth?? I just hate to see good people being treated badly..we all have to live in this world, after all..
Not really religious, but try to do the right thing! Usually find a sense of humour helps too...thanx for reading this! |
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I'm a 14 year old in a secret relationship with a 20 year old. What are your throughs?
Q. Ok well I've met this wonderful guy! And we've gotten really close like so close he is willing to do almost anything for me. The only problem is our ages. I'm 14 about to turn 15 in a couple months and he's just turned 20 two days ago. Now we have ...
A. 26 July 2006: P.s. - I take it that you have'nt actually been 'rubbing uglies' (having sex) yet, and that is what you meant by him "not being forceful"?? I DO hope so! Look after yourself.... (read in full...)
My dad heard the sex talk I was having with my boyfriend on the phone
Q. I'm a college student who hasn’t lived at home for 2 years and i’m back for the summer. I was on the phone with my boyfriend late at night that I recently went and visited and apparently my dad heard out entire conversation about sex and even heard ...
A. 25 July 2006: I agree with Martini on this one. I'm wondering if your dad has mentioned it yet? He must be really embarrassed by it, does he know that you know? Also, has he any cause for concern about your boyfriend? Perhaps it would help if he knew him, or ... (read in full...)
What shall I do about this girl?
Q. OK. This one has me hoppin' a bit. There's a girl in work. Very nice, Very attractive and I'm almost sure she likes me (who can be certain). Now... when we banter away whilst working.. the craic is great and we really get along well. We can kind...
A. 25 July 2006: I know how this girl is feeling - I THINK!! If she is anything like as shy as I was she needs to have other distractions around so that there are no 'pregnant pauses'! One-to-ones are not easy for her with the opposite sex, as, being attractive, ... (read in full...)
Awkward silences! How do you go tho a conversation without them?
Q. what if u run out of things to talk about...
A. 25 July 2006: People like a good listener, but in order to have a 'good conversation' you have to take responsibility for your part in that - no use 'clapping with just the one hand'! Take an interest in what the other person has said; think about it, apply some ... (read in full...)
What age should you lose your virginity??
Q. Whats a good age to loose your virginity?...
A. 25 July 2006: Firstly, be mindful of the legal minimum age!! Then consider - are you bending to peer pressure; are all your freinds saying that they have had sex? - mine did, and so I thought it was high time I did it with my then 'boyfriend', only to discover ... (read in full...)
What do people think about meeting someone online?
Q. I just want to know some people's opinions on meeting up with someone you met online. I know sometimes it's dengerous meeting someone you only know online. We've been e-mailing back and forth for a few weeks, he lives in my town, and he has not ...
A. 22 July 2006: Rule no. 1) Meet at lunchtime, perhaps for a light meal, (that way you don't get too many 'pregnant pauses'); in a busy place with lots of people around, so that you don't get into an awkward situation, as you would if it were night-time ... (read in full...)
I hang out with the wrong crowd - could this be why I don't get dates?
Q. well . i'm young .. and i guess not that bad looking . but the thing is , when i hang out with all my friends and guys , all the guys pay more attention to my friends because my friends are so outgoing ; but not in a way i would like to be . they ...
A. 22 July 2006: Get some other friends!!!
You should (and probably do, underneath) have more confidence than them, and the guys are just going with them because they are EASY, and, it sounds, desperate!! You have something better, but not so obvious! You are prob... (read in full...)
In love with my bestfriends boyfriend and I'm married.
Q. I am in love with my best friend's boyfriend. I am 24 years old and married and I am deeply in love with my best friend's boyfriend. They have been together for a little over a year, and we have had a sexual relationship, for just about as long. Be...
A. 22 July 2006: I so agree with the others on this one - here's some sharp advice - hold hands with lover-boy and go jump to hell - how you have the brass nerve to ask for advice leaves me - and other decent folk - REELING!!!
I do try to be non-judgemental and ... (read in full...)
Do you think he fancies me ?
Q. does he like me? Hi theres this guy that i work with 2 days a week. he is 4 years older than me (i am 19). I really like him and i often flirt with him, i want to ask him out but i dont want spoil a friendship if he doesnt feel the same way! we...
A. 22 July 2006: So??? Come on, spill the beans ... did he come out for the drinkie??? we all want to know! (lol)... (read in full...)
Im becoming over suspicious of my boyfriend what do I do ?
Q. I am a suspicious type of person. My boyfriend has his own apartment but usually stays at his mother's house--just wanted to give u that info. Last week--i look at the condom drawer and we havent used any in a while--we have two sets..there were...
A. 21 July 2006: I think you have answered your own question here - give him the benefit of the doubt. If you really need to make certain, for your own peace of mind then say nothing and then do a re-count sometime in the future - write the number down somewhere so ... (read in full...)
I'm a 14 year old in a secret relationship with a 20 year old. What are your throughs?
Q. Ok well I've met this wonderful guy! And we've gotten really close like so close he is willing to do almost anything for me. The only problem is our ages. I'm 14 about to turn 15 in a couple months and he's just turned 20 two days ago. Now we have ...
A. 21 July 2006: You sound like a very level-headed and sensible girl. The actual age gap is not a concern. I don't know any more than anyone else how much longer the relationship will last as you, at 14, still have a lot of changes to go through before you have the ... (read in full...)
Girls - What you opinion on the best kissing techniques?
Q. GIRLS In your opinion whats the best kissing technique, I no it differs but wat is yours personally?...
A. 21 July 2006: Here,here, ooo, you lucky girls! For the actual technique - moist, but not TOO much saliva - (ugh)!! .. Firm but soft lips, not too sloppy. Suck the lips a little bit, very gently once you get going. If she responds in a good way you will know ... (read in full...)
He's not my type - will it work out?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a question. I've met this really nice guy and our main interests are the same but there are big differences too. after having a difficult time with my last ex I thought I'd never move on but this new guy makes me laugh and is ...
A. 20 July 2006: Hi, I met my man through a dating website and although he didn't post his picture, his profile was interesting and he seemed to have all of the criteria I was looking for in a guy. I e-mailed him, he sent me a picture and I thought...well..?!! What ... (read in full...)
How can i remain supportive without smothering her?
Q. Hello all, Im in a 4 month relationship with a woman, and we hit it off in so many areas. She has gone through some emotional struggles over the last year and has enjoyed and sought out my support which I have given willingly and lovingly. No...
A. 20 July 2006: You know, you read so many stories on this site about people neglecting one another - HOW REFRESHING to see someone concerned about being too attentive!!
I would'nt worry about it, unless she has hinted that you are coming on a bit strong. It seem... (read in full...)
How do I control my attraction to only beautiful looking women-is good looks most the most important thing?
Q. I am stuck in a big fix here. and this is taking my life in a negative direction where i am losing interest in work and family and its a total unrest situation, as i am getting frustrated looking for some wise decision on this. My Problem : I am a...
A. 19 July 2006: Welcome to the real world!!!
Perhaps you have not met the 'right one' yet. Who says that "I have to spend the rest of my life with girl one"??!! You don't HAVE to spend your life with ANYONE.
The difference is, 'girl one' IS beautiful - it comes... (read in full...)
Lost my viginity and it didn't hurt?! Is this unusual?
Q. hello. Im a little bit confused because everything i have heard implies the contrary. Im 19 years old lost my virginity tonight and it didnt hurt .. at all. is this unusual?...
A. 19 July 2006: I'm no doctor, but I am sure you have nothing to worry about. I did'nt feel any pain when I lost mine. I think I read somewhere that many girls have broken their hymen whilst riding a horse!; also if you use tampons (or a vibrator) this happens.. ... (read in full...)
He complains about not spending time with me-yet, recently, he excluded me and I got angry!
Q. My boyfriend John, and I live together. We have been having problems because of finances, and other things. He tried to be with me wherever I am. I feel smothered. We talked about this and he has been giving me my space. When we have problems he ...
A. 17 July 2006: Do your sisters know how you are feeling?? If so, why are they not supporting you - have you asked them? Maybe it's time for you to put them straight about the situation and if they want to go anywhere they should discuss it with you first, and ... (read in full...)
We're engaged, he flirts online, I flirt at work, we fight and I don't want to lose him
Q. I am engaged to be married to a man in the military. It has only been a couple months since I last saw him, and already it seems that things have taken a turn for the worse. I fight with him on the phone constantly. I'm always accusing him of ...
A. 17 July 2006: Sorry sweetie, but you have to be realistic and give him an ultimatum... either he shapes up and starts showing you some consideration or you find someone else. You have to ask yourself whether, as you mention, he has become so engrossed in his ... (read in full...)
Things that never bothered me really are irritating now
Q. i am to marry my boyfriend of many years next year but recently things that never bothered me that much are now irritating me. What do i do?...
A. 17 July 2006: I take it that you are referring to your b/f? Could it be just nerves, or are you getting really anxious about making that final plunge?
Or could it be that you have 'outgrown' him and really need to give the 'marriage' thing a re-think...it real... (read in full...)
A condom fell out of his wallet, we don't use condoms!
Q. You may remeber me from my previous question..... boyfriend on holiday in Ibiza- hasnt contacted me for 2 days- worried! Well after this initial lack of interest in m whilkst he was on hols he then rang me at least once a day. A continuation.......
A. 17 July 2006: O.K. - WHOA!!! Sit for a while and think ... How long have you been together?
1) - Could it be an old one from before your relationship? (check out the sell-by date)
2) - Could one of his mates planted it as a prank?
I have been through t... (read in full...)
He let me down once and I believe he's going to do it again....what can I do?
Q. Hi, I am very sad. My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up last year. He cheated on me on a stag night by kissing another girl. It wasn't so much that that hurt me it as the fact he says they spent a lot of that night in one another's compan...
A. 14 July 2006: My word, you are SO YOUNG to be thinking this way!
To have a life plan is fine but just leave a little room for movement - life has a habit of taking you on a roller-coaster now and then, and who knows - you may not meet the man of your dreams for ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want time with me or our kids!
Q. My husband spends all his time either at work (self employed, part time) or playing casino games on the pc or out with his friends. When I ask him to do something with me he moans and replies he doesn't enjoy doing that (like going to a movie) or ...
A. 12 July 2006: Tell him that a picnic or a walk in the park is not expensive, and that if he wants to be respected by his children as they grow up he must be there as a role model for them. This time whilst the children are young is too precious to waste and he ... (read in full...)
Do woman value the "same" attributes in a man before she becomes attracted to him?
Q. what really switches a girl on to a man? does looks really play a big part in it? i know for most men (the perhaps more shallow of us) its the ususal good looks, curvacious, sexy body that provokes the chase, as it were. do woman value the ...
A. 10 July 2006: Yep, a sense of humour every time - very sexy, more so than looks, or shape, but a guy has to look as though he at least bothers to wash/shave in the mornings, and take care of himself too (lol) By 'sense of humour', I mean NOT just 'telling jokes', ... (read in full...)
We are scared to date because of my dads reaction, what should we do!!
Q. Ah really need some help me and my boyfriend have only been going out for just over 2 weeks and he is my first serious boyfriend. I have introduced him to my parents and they seem to get along ok but everytime he comes round we go straight to my ...
A. 10 July 2006: Typical case of a dad looking after his daughter! It happens the world over, and generation after generation - I can remember my dad doing the same!! That's what dads are FOR!! (he he) - but some dads can be a little clumsy about it, and with his ... (read in full...)
Do you think he fancies me ?
Q. does he like me? Hi theres this guy that i work with 2 days a week. he is 4 years older than me (i am 19). I really like him and i often flirt with him, i want to ask him out but i dont want spoil a friendship if he doesnt feel the same way! we...
A. 10 July 2006: I agree with 'Sicol'; But be subtle..I think he fancies you- but if you do want to ask him out make it to something like a concert or to the pictures with a few other people so that it does'nt seem as if you expect anything 'romantic' out of ... (read in full...)
Not over my ex, he's moved on, how do I?
Q. Me and my bf have been apart from nearly 3 months now and i still miss him more than ever and i hate it, he's moved on and he tells me this all the time how doesnt love me or how he never did and it breaks my heart. I just wish i could move on i don...
A. 10 July 2006: Men like the thrill of the chase. However you should run - and fast! He sounds like an absolute louse. No-one should just dump someone in such an unfeeling manner, for no good reason, and then rub salt in the wound by going with her friend right ... (read in full...)
Her body language said "let this be over" and I shared her pain... Why was this car journey so awkward?
Q. Hi there. I appreciate that there are some genuinely nice people on this site who care about people and try to give good advice. Maybe some of you can share it with me today. My problem is trivial really. Its just really bugging me tho. I have t...
A. 10 July 2006: I respect the opinions of the other agony aunts here, but it could be anything, really...Could it be perhaps that she had had some bad news, and was still reeling from it; and maybe she did'nt want to bring it up for fear of bursting into tears over ... (read in full...)
Not sure if I ever loved him, is it possible that I ever could ?
Q. Need help and guidence from anyone who has been in a similar sitation and can help me make my decision... I have the hardest decision in the world to make and I need to make it soon as I don't want to have this hanging round my neck any longer....
A. 10 July 2006: Hi there,
If my experience is of any value to you (though I am not a trained counsellor, so don't know how much weight it carries)- I hope that I can help you by telling you about my marriage and you can, of course decide whether it applies to your... (read in full...)
He thinks the CCTV is a fake, but why did he bring this up, is he up to no good ?
Q. Is he cheating again? I recently got back together with my boyfriend after having been split up for over a year because I found out he slept with another woman in our bed. He has recently been staying with me but I have warned him that I will find ...
A. 10 July 2006: I would DEFINITELY keep an eye on him, especially as he has cheated before! You are right to be suspicious if he is making such a kerfuffle over the CCTV...Anyone else would just suggest you get it fixed! But the fact that he was so bothered about ... (read in full...)
Marriage is slowly falling apart but we want to turn it around
Q. Hi, This is my first question here. I wish I didn't have to ask it, but I do.. My wife and I are having problems, we both feel as though the spark has left out relationship. We dont really make love anymore, we hardly spend any time togethe...
A. 8 July 2006: Without knowing your history and that of your wife, I would not attempt to answer your question. That is a job for Relate - it's amazing what they can do..
I would love to help, but all I can say is that having young children is a time of grea... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 8 July 2006: Let me throw this one in the pot....If your feelings are so very pure for her - then I DO wonder - WOULD YOU WANT SO BADLY TO HELP OUT IF IT WERE A BOY!!!!????
I THINK NOT!!... (read in full...)
Why don't they like "me" for "me" and not my hotbod?
Q. Why do guys never seem to like me for me?? All they seem intrested in is my body becuase they think i'm "hot"! (Female, 19)...
A. 7 July 2006: I agree with Prunella on this one.. Have you also considered the way you dress when you go out? If it is low-cut tops and short skirts then of course shallow men will be the first ones to approach you..it's all about the signals you are giving out, ... (read in full...)
Why do they play games?
Q. Why do girls play games with ya??? Any help would be vvv greatful please....
A. 6 July 2006: You don't give us a lot to go on, but it just may be - BECAUSE IT'S FUN!!!;not usually for malicious reasons.. oh, yes, also to see if you are really interested...!!(by the way, you boys do it too!) Have fun, and be careful out there....! :o)... (read in full...)
Not sure what to do about this guy
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 16years old and I have liked This family friend for nearly five years and due circumstances I can''t be with him. But everytime I see him I go weak at the knees. He lives in stoke and has a model girlfriend and he teases me because ...
A. 6 July 2006: You don't mention how old he is, but I can guess he is aeveral years older than you..? Sorry to break it to you chicky, but this guy obviously enjoys the attention you are giving him (typical!)Sweet sixteen-year-old! - AND a model girlfriend as ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to do about this guy
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 16years old and I have liked This family friend for nearly five years and due circumstances I can''t be with him. But everytime I see him I go weak at the knees. He lives in stoke and has a model girlfriend and he teases me because ...
A. 6 July 2006: Sorry to break it to you chicky, but this guy obviously enjoys the attention you are giving him (typical!)Sweet sixteen-year-old! AND a model girlfriend too!! - He is keeping her on her toes - can you imagine how she must feel, having him giving ... (read in full...)
She turned me down once, so should I ask her out again?
Q. I seem to like this girl. I cannot sleep without thinking about her. Also I cannot survive the day without thinking about her. The problem is last time I asked her out she said no and we were not getting along. Now that I seem to talk to her. She...
A. 6 July 2006: Hi,
You don't mention how old you are, and appear a bit vague - ("I 'seem to' like this girl"; "I 'seem' to talk to her) - perhaps you come across as though you are not direct enough, so maybe she is not aware how interested you are in her. Or, ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why women have this big problem with porn? Any comments?
Q. As a man, I don't understand why women have this big problem with porn. Porn itself is not the problem. It the person. I look at porn 5-6 times a week. I watch some movies, read stories and Jerk off about 6 times a week. Also make love with my wife ...
A. 6 July 2006: In answer to Wendyg's question - (he was probably busy - you know it's not easy to type with just the one hand!!!)
... (read in full...)
I'm going to miss the place I used to have in my daughter's heart when she gets married...
Q. How do I get over the fact that I wont be #1 in my daughter's life after she gets married? My 30 yr old daughter is getting married, and well, it's making me nervous. I'm her dad and she's my "little girl" and I feel like I'm losing her. She ...
A. 6 July 2006: I'm sorry to break it to you - but your little girl is now a fully-fledged WOMAN!!!
She will not go from your life. She is the successful, confidant woman she is now because of the safe and secure and happy upbringing you gave her. She has lear... (read in full...)
After two years of marriage he says he's gone and says he doesn't love me... What next?
Q. My Husband after only two years of marriage announced a week ago that he doesn't love me anymore and left. He said he needed time to think which I respected then he phoned two days later to tell me the our marriage is over. He has already moved all ...
A. 6 July 2006: You poor girl! He owes you some kind of an explanation - that's the least you should be able to expect! It may be just me, but do you think that there could be a third party involved here? Or something he has found of yours which could lead him ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to make out and I think my girlfriend is too!
Q. My gf and I are ready to make out. I have done it before and I'm entirely comfortable with it. She has never done it before and she claims she is ready. What is a good and pleasant way I can approach this situation? If possible I would like det...
A. 4 July 2006: Take it slow - lots of foreplay to make certain she is in the mood. You may need some KY jelly to ease lubrication, as it could very well be painful. I agree with 'helpful girl', make it nice and romantic so that it will be something special to ... (read in full...)
When we argued, my BF started spreading around copies of my sexy photo!
Q. Hi I am 13 years old and I have a 15 year old boyfriend. We don't do anything sexual or anything and we aren't ready for that yet. I had a picture took of me in my sexy underwear and I was laying in a sexy pose. He swore to me when he took it he wo...
A. 4 July 2006: Dump him, and make your own poster, saying "I have'nt got any pictures to post up of this loser as he has nothing worth showing - and don't you think it says a lot more about HIM than me!!?" Well, that is what I'd feel like doing, but you don't ... (read in full...)
I don't know about my online lover!
Q. I met the man I'm seeing on a dating website. We see each other 2-3 times a week and the relationship has turned physical. He says he wants a relationship but then I find he still logs onto the site we met on. He says he doesnt when I spoke to him. ...
A. 3 July 2006: Hi, I have friends who, like me, have had this problem.. one of my friends has challenged her guy about it and he said that dating online was like a "sweetie shop - you go in for a packet of humbugs..and WOW!! all these sweeties!!!"
So it's just... (read in full...)
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