I'm talking to my ex and feeling guilty about it but can't seem to stop myself
Q. When I was 15, I had an abortion. To this day I still remember everything about those few weeks while it all happened, from finding out to having it done. I still cry on the day which I had worked out would have been my due date and I still wonder ...
A. 5 September 2016: Im going to be blunt as usual. You are in your late 20s now. I think its time you started living your life responsibly. Either break up with your current and pursue this guy, or do the opposite. ... (read in full...)
My Zumba instructor boyfriend was joking with a participant to stop looking at his butt! Did he cross a line?
Q. My boyfriend is a Zumba instructor. Classes are all women. The other day in his class he told a participant jokingly to stop looking at his butt. He said this was harmless flirting. Part of the job. Hmmmm. I am not so sure about that. ...
A. 3 September 2016: Good Lord the PC crap that people worry about.... (read in full...)
Wife won't have sex, how do I bring up having a 3rd person involved?
Q. once more the issue is about threesomes,my wife and i have been married over 30 years, both in our 50's, for the last 5-6 years our sex life has become extinct, i was wondering if a 3rd person in the bedroom would revive the flame, problem is i don...
A. 3 September 2016: I dont get your suggestion. Its like asking - I havent driven down the driveway in years, so Im thinking of going to the racetrack to see if I can hone my driving skills.... (read in full...)
I've had sex with many men and I'm afraid of what my future husband will think?
Q. I had an intimate relationship with many boys when I was 19-20 years old. Im really upset with what I had done. And I'm scared that what would happen if in the future my husband would get to know about my bad body figure. Please help me?...
A. 3 September 2016: For starters, I have to assert that your past is ABSOLUTELY your future husbands business if he asks.
The single thing that separates romantic relationships from all others is sex. Why someone would think past performance in this category... (read in full...)
Is it still my fault that she ghosted me for being a nice guy?
Q. So some time ago, around eight months ago, i was ghosted by a woman i treated with kindest, but a lot of you put me down saying i deserved what i got, so i found out some things about her i didn't know about. One thing she told me she has only bee...
A. 28 August 2016: "I didn't have a chance in hell with her"
That statement absolutely assures that you had no chance with her.
The first step to being with a women is for you to show her that you have a high market value - that you are a man that other women... (read in full...)
Can people rise out of a depressing life to achieve good things? Or am I destined to achieve nothing?
Q. I'm going nowhere in life. I contrast the way things are now with the dreams I had as a young girl and I feel like a pathetic drip. I thought I was going to do amazing things in the world and leave a legacy but all I've done is fail at life and...
A. 23 August 2016: How good or bad your life turns out is 100% up to you. There is no such thing as bad luck, there is only bad decisions. ... (read in full...)
Married but cheating on my husband with two other men. Exciting for me but it's becoming too much. What are my options?
Q. I'm a married female,no kids, who has been cheating on my husband with a single man for almost two years now... A couple months ago when I arrived at my guys apartment,another man was there with him, who he said was one of his friends from way back...
A. 14 August 2016: You can tell your husband the truth and let him move on with his life with a woman who is worthy of his commitment.
Honestly, the moral "dilemmas" I read here at time makes me wonder if they are actually serious posts or the work of trolls. ... (read in full...)
He earns 8 times what I earn. Is it fair that I contribute 50 . 50 for all dating costs
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 6 months, he earns very good money (about 8 times what I do), should meals out/ trips away be split 50 / 50 , or should he be expected to pay more as he is the higher earner and had a lot more disposable cash than me ...
A. 13 August 2016: What is it now - dating welfare? Dating socialism? Just because he makes more than you doesnt in any way make him more responsible for costs you incur.
This is 2016. Women can sleep around. Men dont have to pay. Just where we are.... (read in full...)
How best to help stubborn mother out of debt?
Q. My mom asked me to help her manage her finances. I agreed and gathered up her bills and created a budget. She's around 8,000 in debt from online store credit, credit card, and doctor bills. After creating the budget and realizing she doesn't make ...
A. 13 August 2016: Best way to get her out of debt is for her to accept COMPLETE responsibility for her own actions. That means paying it all off - HERSELF. Giving people money to get out of debt is just increasing the moral hazard.... (read in full...)
My brother's ex' has put a hook in me
Q. So here's my dilemma. I have fallen for my brother's ex-girlfriend. I am a 24-year-old male who has not really experienced a lot of romance in my life up to this point. However, I have never felt this way about a woman in my life and I feel terri...
A. 12 August 2016: Total and severe violation of the Dude Code.
Exs of friends and family are forever off limits. Women are a dime a dozen. Friends and family are not.... (read in full...)
Why am I so pessimistic and obsessed about how people are?
Q. I don't know how to explain my issue without making myself look naive and immature. Well I keep worrying about the growing number of people who are so selfish in relationships. I see many people cheating left and right, having a lack in character ...
A. 10 August 2016: Solution - put 100% of your time and energy into making yourself the best person you can. Bored? Learn another language. Gossiping? Take a class in mathematics.
Do that, and trust me you wont have the energy to worry about "how people are." T... (read in full...)
I don't want a gf but I don't want her to be with anyone else. what should I do?
Q. Sooo about 6 months I got a new roommate who happens to be a female. We became roommates after meeting once for about 10 minutes. We hit it off eight away as we are both direct and have weird personal issues that almost identical in how we handl...
A. 10 August 2016: You could stop being a beta orbiter and let her move on with her life and you move on with yours.
Either man up and be with her or let her live her life.... (read in full...)
Could we have a future?
Q. We met on Face book back in 2011 and met in person a moth later.We had strong connection but the distance eventually took it's toll and he broke it off since neither of us were in a position to move. After time part we would reconnect and...
A. 9 August 2016: Regarding a future -
Whenever the story begins with "we met on Facebook/Tinder/etc," the answer is almost always no.... (read in full...)
I'm worried about getting pregnant if we have sex.
Q. im a 13 year old girl and i need help!! me and my boyfriend both want to have sex but we dont know if we should. We have talked about it before but we cant decide. we have seen eah other naked before and we have fooled around naked a lot. but we d...
A. 9 August 2016: This may help.
Raising a child from birth to 18 (no college) costs roughly $250,000 US. If you have that much saved, then you are ok having sex risking pregnancy.... (read in full...)
What does my ex girlfriend really want?
Q. Hello everyone. So I've asked for advice before and I guess I'm asking again. So my girlfriend and I spilt up. Things got a bit messy. I said some horrible things and she did too. We didn't call each other nasty names or anything. W...
A. 7 August 2016: Dude - this is drama you dont need. Stop communicating with her in all ways.... (read in full...)
I’m feeling guilty for not throwing my baby a party for her first birthday!
Q. Has anyone here held off the idea of throwing a 1yr old birthday party for tgeir baby? My baby turns 1 next month. Myself and dad mostly dad planned to not throw her a party. For some reason i have started to feel really bad. I feel like i was ...
A. 7 August 2016: Do you remember your first birthday? How was the party?... (read in full...)
I'm not priority on his social media
Q. What do people think about texting a partner and them not getting back to you, but seeing they are on social media a few times, then they text you back about an hour etc later? My partner does this and it makes me feel like he looks at his phone...
A. 7 August 2016: I have, nor ever will have, a Facebook or Twitter account, and am all the more happy for it.
This is example #45,654,332 of why.... (read in full...)
Why do I keep running into cheap dudes?
Q. Why do I keep running into men that are cheap,they always want something for nothing? I've ran into plenty of guys who want to use me for sex but then if I need something they won't have my back. Like why should I give u what u want but you can't ...
A. 6 August 2016: Long story short - you are giving away what they want for free.
If you want a man to commit resources to you, then make him wait for sex until you are in a committed relationship. ... (read in full...)
I want to know why he doesn't want me.
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together going on 4 years, we have a little 22 month old girl, who's our everything. But for the last year we've had problems arguing over little things, his family have always been on our case from day one and ...
A. 6 August 2016: "but Iv put a little weight"
More likely than not, there is your answer.... (read in full...)
How can I last longer for her?
Q. So recently, I've gotten into a relationship with the woman of my dreams. She's my best friend, we've known each other for two years, shared ups and downs, been to the ringer and back and now things are amazing. We've also gotten physical a few ...
A. 6 August 2016: You're in your 20s. You should be able to go again in 20 minutes. Im 48 and can go again in an hour, so you should have no problem.... (read in full...)
My married BF says I worry too much that he is going to be unfaithful to me. Is it all my fault?
Q. Hi. I've been dating a married man for 3 years now. We have incredible sex together and lots of fun. We get along very well and are sexually perfect for each other. I care a lot for him. He cares for me. However, my insecurity issues ...
A. 27 July 2016: You're dating a married man and you're worried he'll cheat?
Sorry - just dont understand the question you're asking. ... (read in full...)
Could this be the end of our marriage ?.
Q. I love my husband. We've been together for almost 15 years. We are in our late 30's now and don't have any kids (we both agree on that). We have weathered many storms (financial difficulties, moving away from our country of origin...) and s...
A. 26 July 2016: Interesting - all I read about is what he is doing wrong and the work you are putting in to help him.
Just maybe, is there anything that you could be working on? My guess is if we asked him, he would be very quick to provide an answer.... (read in full...)
I only attract men who focus on my physical appearance. How do I change this?
Q. I've never dated, and it makes me insecure that I might not be good enough for dating. I'm a very attractive girl, and everyone loves my looks, I had 3 guys purposed for me this year, and it's just because of my looks. Don't get me wrong but, I hate ...
A. 26 July 2016: Newsflash - if you dont want to date people who focus on your physical appearance, date women.
Men are biologically programmed to be attracted to woman by primarily visual stimuli. Just the way it is.... (read in full...)
I'm worried that the man I am dating can do better than me
Q. So, im a gay man and currently seeing a guy. I really like him and he tells me he really likes me too. Im a student home for the summer so i don't have anything to do but the guy im seeing runs a night club and is very busy. When we go out on dates ...
A. 26 July 2016: As a general rule, women very rarely date down, so having a man with more options is a very common phenomenon.... (read in full...)
How can I stop being so miserable?
Q. How can I change my negative mindset ; it seems I'm never satrafied and I have hit a rock bottom lately now that my relationship is over - in the grand scheme of themes the short relationship I was in wasn't great - he wasn't a great guy and I ...
A. 26 July 2016: Being never satisfied is fine - that means you still have drive - as long at it is YOU that you are never satisfied with.
As far as changing your negative mindset, this is how you are going to do it. Say to yourself - "I will no longer thing ne... (read in full...)
Almost twice my age, will he freak out if I tell him I find him attractive?
Q. How would men in their late 40s feel if a girl in her mid 20s had feelings and a few x-rated thoughts about them? Would they be repulsed or find it a joke, or be interested in her? Yes I do like a man a bit older and I'm so scared to hell him inca...
A. 26 July 2016: Im 48, but a very young looking 48. I have women in their late 20s come on to me all the time. No big deal.... (read in full...)
Cheating. How do I respond to this? I really loved this girl, and was going to propose to her
Q. Well me and my gf are both 26 years old and have been with each other for the past 4 years. Met her in my last year of College and have been with her since. We started living together about 3 months of getting together and everything was lovely, ...
A. 26 July 2016: Why are you crying? You should be celebrating that you have avoided making one of the worst decisions a person could make - and thats marrying a cheater.
If I was in your shoes, she would be gone in a moment. Locks changed. Any assets of mine ... (read in full...)
Healthy eating is a bone of contention
Q. Hi please advise. My boyfriend is trying to have a healthier lifestyle because he is about 20 pounds overweight so he's trying to eat right, etc. I myself (in my opinion) should probably be around 125 but I' almost 140, so I'm at the upper end of ...
A. 26 July 2016: As always, Ill be blunt.
If you dont bother also getting into shape while he does, I can almost guarantee you that the problem will self-mitigate.
... (read in full...)
Are the scratches on my boyfriend's chest consistent with cheating?
Q. Hello everyone. I am having a hard time with a situation I am in. I have nobody to turn to so I am hoping I can get some good advice here. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. He and I were together a couple of days a...
A. 18 July 2016: I had scratches on my back from a suitcase strap. My gf accused me of infidelity because of them.
She stopped being my gf immediately ...... (read in full...)
A real dilemma......
Q. Many of you know me for my brilliant advice on this site.... HOWEVER, I now have an enigma of my own.... for which I'd like to ask others their opinion. To wit: If there are two people who are being intimate.... and they have no in...
A. 17 July 2016: Yes - what they are doing is absolutely by definition "pre-marital sex."
There is sex with and without commitment, and there is sex with and without marriage. Marriage represents the ultimate degree of sexual, relationship, and financial commitme... (read in full...)
Choosing Boyfriend or potential job?
Q. Hi there, I hope you are all well. I am kindly seeking advice for what is for me a big issue and which I keep thinking over. Basically me and my boyfriend have been together for almost four years this December. We met in the beginning of our ...
A. 17 July 2016: Getting money is difficult. Getting boyfriends or girlfriends is easy.
Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)
13 years old. Some of our friends have done more than we have ever tried. How should I react if he asks to to do more with him as far as touching?
Q. Errh', okay - so I'm fairly young, just turned 13 a few days ago. I have a very serious relationship with a boy, who is about a year and a few months older than me. (I'm off to gr. 8, and he's off to gr. 9.) It's extremely obvious that he absolute...
A. 15 July 2016: Ok - you're 13. I'll get right to it - you have not a single idea what "a very serious relationship" is, let alone be in one. That you think you are shows your a bit to green to be taking your relationship in such a direction.
... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 13 July 2016: OP - For starters, I give you credit for finally asking. The more you do it, the easier it will get. Now for the other side of the coin. Given your tone coupled with everything you have said, I don't believe for a moment you went in there "... (read in full...)
Is this a cultural shock that is affecting my relationship? Has anyone experienced anything similar?
Q. I dont know where to start. I am from South America and I emigrated to USA 8 years ago, I studied got a degree. I have a good job and support myself , single no kids. I met an Iraqi guy 2 years ago, hes younger by 8 years. He came legally, ...
A. 13 July 2016: Without even getting into cultural things, the cold honest truth is a relationship where a man who is 8 years younger than a woman is almost always doomed to failure.
Why? Simple biology and the realities of the sexual market. Men are generall... (read in full...)
Have my feelings changed towards my married lover?
Q. I've been with my married lover for a few years. He has gone on vacation with his wife several times over the course of our affair, leaving me behind. I know it's an affair and nobody approves. But I am not here for that part of it. I am just tr...
A. 13 July 2016: Not here for "that part of it?" Sorry - "that" is the only part of it. ALL of your problems here are due to the fact that he is married and both of you are committing adultery. Fix that one "part," and you'll be amazed at how all of these pro... (read in full...)
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 3 years. How do I walk away from him?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a married man for 3 years. We have known each other for 40 years. We were together 38 years ago went our own ways and ran into each other for lunch and the rest is history. We love each other very much but I can't ...
A. 13 July 2016: Finally realizing that you are being used for sex as nothing more than a convenient mistress should give you the push you need ...... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 12 July 2016: Once again, the way you went about almost assured she "had a boyfriend." This is EXACTLY what I warned you about below, and lo and behold played out precisely as I expected.
If you went in there confident and presupposed the date, 99.9% chance y... (read in full...)
I'm having trust issues with my girlfriend, is she cheating?
Q. I recently had my phone stop working, so i was using my girlfriends phone to contact people for awhile and she recieved a message of a screen shot of a message she had deleted on her phone. The message was her trying to pick up a guy she met at a...
A. 10 July 2016: She's cheating. This is probably the only story you KNOW of. Every moment you stay from this point forward is completely your own fault.... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016: If he's bringing condoms, he's bringing them to have sex with other women. End of story.... (read in full...)
After being cheated on, I hate myself
Q. During my most recent relationship, I got cheated on by my girlfriend. She did it once fairly early in the relationship, and even though I hated the guy before it happened, she claims to be blackout drunk so I forgave her. She cheated again and ...
A. 10 July 2016: Dont superimpose her moral failures onto yourself. If you stayed, then thats on you. Perhaps one thing you can take with you is never give the second chance.... (read in full...)
Why am I attracting these type of girlfriends? What are the warning signs? How to avoid them? How to communicate?
Q. What is it with me and helicopter girlfriends? Why do I seem to attract them most? Why can't I let them go gently without it always ending with me making a new enemy and coming off as a douche at the end? Whenever I meet/date a girl who giv...
A. 8 July 2016: Chi -
I appreciate the response and if I could follow/clarify a bit.
First, IMO a very common mistake that is made regarding male/female relationships is to make the very erroneous assumption that men and women are exactly alike in their s... (read in full...)
Why am I attracting these type of girlfriends? What are the warning signs? How to avoid them? How to communicate?
Q. What is it with me and helicopter girlfriends? Why do I seem to attract them most? Why can't I let them go gently without it always ending with me making a new enemy and coming off as a douche at the end? Whenever I meet/date a girl who giv...
A. 7 July 2016: As with many of my responses, this is not going to be popular here, but it will be honest. My guess is your screening process is faulty. I am 48 now, and whenever I give advice about these matters to younger guys, its as follows. 1 - ... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 28 June 2016: Edit - I think I need to put an addendum on my last post. When I say cocky, confident, and arrogant, this is absolutely something you cannot fake. Women will smell this out in a second and you will be nowhere. Its arrogance, but its CALM arr... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 28 June 2016: With all due respect to the ladies here, Im not going on what woman SAY, Im going on what they DO. Ive lost count on how many women have told me they want a "nice, confident guy," and then go home with the biggest a-hole in the bar. To be hon... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 27 June 2016: OP -
To answer your question - back in my younger reserved/shy/whishy-washy days, women I asked out ALWAYS had boyfriends. Then, in my later assertive/confident/cocky days, women I asked out NEVER had boyfriends.
Funny how that happens ...... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 27 June 2016: My primary advice at this point is to stop letting her set the agenda/schedule for the date. I cannot overemphasize how much women like men who are assertive and can take charge. She already agreed to go out with you. Go in there with a pla... (read in full...)
I would love to ask this waitress out. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Q. I like a waitress in the town near to where I live. She has served me on several occasions, and said hi and spoken to me. I would love to ask her out, but my bottle always goes!! It was my birthday yesterday, and on the way out she said 'Ha...
A. 22 June 2016: Leaving a business card is a bad idea - it shows you don't have the balls to ask her face to face. Women like confidence above all things. You actually blew your chance when she said, "See you later." If that were me in your shoes, I would t... (read in full...)
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