I broke up with boyfriend because he still doesn't want to marry for several years
Q. Tonight,I broke up with my bf of 1 year. It's been a lovely year,ups and downs of course. We love and care about each other,But tonight I expressed to him that I wish to get married soon as my parents are traditional; we are 8 years apart,he is 20 ...
A. 23 January 2016: You are in WAY different points of your lives. He wants to party it up right now. You want to settle down. I dont see either of those things changing for a while. IMO, this is one of a few reasons that older woman/younger man isnt seen nearly ... (read in full...)
How to handle this? What other important past information has my husband hidden from me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years dated 4 years prior to that. Tonight, I just found out my husband has been married 3 times prior to our relationship. I knew of one marriage, but he has never openly disclosed these other 2 marriage...
A. 20 January 2016: Youwish - for starters, you can stop with the passive aggressive attacks, eg "chip on shoulder." I could just as easily do the same from my side of the aisle with equal validity. In the end, it does neither side any good. That said, believe it... (read in full...)
Severe depression and anxiety after worst breakup
Q. My ex and I split up about 2 months ago. Mainly because I felt I was putting more effort in than him. He's 30 and I'm 28. I refused to see him for 5 weeks as I believed the distance would do us good and give us time to figure things out. He was me...
A. 20 January 2016: You need to move on. Contacting him further will only worsen things and be pure wasted time on your part.
For whatever reason, he doesnt want to be with you anymore. Respect his decision and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
I don't have confidence in myself in regards to women and dating. Should I give up?
Q. Is it possible to give up on women? I have a very complicated history with them that ranges from saving a girl from getting raped in high school to getting left by my junior prom date for another guy at the dance. I have had one ex in high schoo...
A. 20 January 2016: I will answer your question bluntly - if you have no confidence in yourself, yes, you should give up. If you dont have that, you will never get to square one with a female, just the way it is.
Now, if you want to work on your confidence, that cha... (read in full...)
Can I have independence and still keep my marriage?
Q. Can someone tell me what's happening with me? I am in my mid 40 s, been married for 25 years, one grown up child that is independent and lives on her own. I have a hard time staying in this marriage the way my husband wants it to be. I have a...
A. 19 January 2016: Those who attempt to eat their cake and have it too overwhelmingly end up with neither ...... (read in full...)
She wants everything. Should I walk?
Q. Been going out with a woman, for a month, she tells me if I want to continue to see her, I have to buy her gifts, cards, flowers, and take her out two times a week. Do I walk away? She said she will give me two days to make up my mind. I sure know ...
A. 19 January 2016: No, you shouldnt walk, you should RUN. Dont call her again, dont text her, and dont answer hers.... (read in full...)
How to handle this? What other important past information has my husband hidden from me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years dated 4 years prior to that. Tonight, I just found out my husband has been married 3 times prior to our relationship. I knew of one marriage, but he has never openly disclosed these other 2 marriage...
A. 18 January 2016: Looking further - Im still confused. Consensual sexual history and divorces/annulments are both equally LEGAL, so Im not sure why ordaining one as "legal" history over the other. Second, again, Ive lost track on how many times Ive read here ... (read in full...)
How to handle this? What other important past information has my husband hidden from me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years dated 4 years prior to that. Tonight, I just found out my husband has been married 3 times prior to our relationship. I knew of one marriage, but he has never openly disclosed these other 2 marriage...
A. 17 January 2016: Is legal past what you really are worried about? I see - so before you get into a relationship, whats important to you is to find out all of the traffic violations that he received? You really want to know if had a drink before the age of 21? You... (read in full...)
I want to stop. How should I stop going after someone who ignores me like this?
Q. Dear Cupid I am dating someone for past 3 weeks, earlier he seemed to be ok, wanted to talk to me all the time, we connected well. Had sex previous week and after that he is ignoring me, my calls, when I ask says he is busy over work, and today...
A. 17 January 2016: You were nothing other than sex to him. Learn and move on.... (read in full...)
How to handle this? What other important past information has my husband hidden from me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years dated 4 years prior to that. Tonight, I just found out my husband has been married 3 times prior to our relationship. I knew of one marriage, but he has never openly disclosed these other 2 marriage...
A. 17 January 2016: Whatever happened to "the past is the past" and is no one's business? I mean, I've lost count on how many times I've read that here regarding sexual history...... (read in full...)
Threesome that I initiated leads to my wife having a 2 year affair
Q. My wife and I are in our late 20's, married 5 years..One night about two years ago after too many drinks at my single friends apartment, don't ask me why, i said lets try a threesome..probably the alchohol talking..it was totally my idea, and my ...
A. 17 January 2016: Threesome withing a marriage?
How could have anything possibly gone wrong?... (read in full...)
Long term affair has me shocked
Q. I recently found out that the affair my wife had about 30 years ago had been going on for almost 3 years... I was shocked. Back then after her affair was discovered, and came to an end, I never thought that it had lasted THAT long. My question is ...
A. 15 January 2016: You want to know WHY it happened? It happened because she found this other guy more sexually attractive than you. It continued for the same reason. She hit the evolutionary jackpot - had a fool to support her and provide her with resources, and ... (read in full...)
Would you get mad at your partner if he or she only replied "thank you!" a day after you sent a naughty text message?
Q. Would you get mad at your BF of three years who is in South Africa right now visiting family if you sent him a sexually explicit message and it took him over a day to reply to it? Not only that but when he does reply it's short? The message de...
A. 15 January 2016: The moment I read the title of this thread I was 100% certain it was started by a woman.
You're overthinking us. Stop doing that, we generally dont like it.... (read in full...)
Are people really ever not looking for a relationship?
Q. Dear All Firstly, thanks for reading this. I was just wondering, partly inspired by past experiences but also mostly just out of curiosity. Do you think people are ever really just "Not looking for a relationship"? I'm the type of ...
A. 15 January 2016: Most men are not looking for a relationship, they are looking for sex. Most women are not looking for sex, they are looking for a relationship. This is why each sex is typically the gatekeeper of what the other is looking for. Just a truth that ... (read in full...)
Looking back, I don't understand her
Q. Now that the relationship is over, I'm still dealing with a lot of unanswered questions as to what kind of woman I was seeing all these years. She often accused me of not "getting" her, or that men don't "get" her. It's as if she's trying to convey ...
A. 13 January 2016: This is what you should do to "understand her."
1 - Go to the gym, every day. No exceptions, no excuses.
2 - Read one book per week.
3 - Put an extra hour a day in at work. Set a goal for a raise/promotion.
4 - Make a commitment to spea... (read in full...)
Sex is good but he's gone cold
Q. I met a guy at uni a few months ago and i guess we sort of became fuck buddies having mostly drunken sex. It hasn't been constant but before Christmas it was happening regularly and it turned into a more friends with benefits as we spent more time ...
A. 13 January 2016: You see this as a relationship. He sees is as sex without commitment. ... (read in full...)
Should I go with the good guy or do I stay where I'm comfortable?
Q. About a month ago, my life got a little messy. I have been in a faithful, committed relationship for four years. My boyfriend and I have an apartment together, we own three cats and a dog. We've had a long history. We've been through everything ...
A. 13 January 2016: Just to get the question straight -
You're asking if you should go back with your boyfriend after cheating on him, or if you should leave him for the guy your cheating on him with...right?
My take would be how do you square your cheating wi... (read in full...)
I want to save this relationship, so how can I get him to understand that what I said was a mistake that was not aimed at him?
Q. The love of my life broke up with me a few weeks ago because I was in a confrontational mood and said some very mean and hurtful things to him. Obviously, I did not mean what I said at all and I love him dearly. He is obviously hurt. He goes out of ...
A. 13 January 2016: You gave him a test and it backfired on you. You did what you did - own it. My suggestion would be to apologize and promise never to pull something like this again.... (read in full...)
I can't see a way out of this hole ...
Q. I'm a friendless, 25 year old male that has never been in a relationship before. In "paper" it'd seem like I'm a good catch, I have a master's degree, a fulfilling and well-paying career and an awesome apartment downtown. The biggest issues that I ...
A. 12 January 2016: You need two things.
1 - Get to the gym.
2 - Get some confidence.
Get those two things, and youll be amazed at how many dates youll get.... (read in full...)
Now I know should I meet him?
Q. Hi, I met this guy online. We been talking 5 months. He lives 2000 miles away. He wanted to come visit me however I have roommate so we mutually decided I go visit him. I was under the impression we were dating monogamously. Come to find out, he's...
A. 11 January 2016: Just so I understand this correctly - are the following two statements factual? 1 - You have never met him. 2 - Your perception is you are dating him monogamously.... (read in full...)
Money problems resulting in relationship problems!
Q. I have a situation which is as old as the hills, but here it is; I'm a self-employed person.Up til recently business has been good, but for now and the forseeable future my earnings are taking a huge drop. I have a small amount of savings which ar...
A. 9 January 2016: Shes using you for your resources. I blame you because you created the monster. She will likely not stay long unless you continue to funnel the same level of resources to her.... (read in full...)
Dating steps. When is it right to hold a girl's hand or kiss her when dating?
Q. I'm a straight guy with little romantic experience: I've been on two first dates and have kissed but am still a virgin. I've been happy to focus on my studies at university and indulging on my interests and hobbies. I've always had an open mind...
A. 8 January 2016: Be a man and take charge. Grab her hand in a way that shows you are deserving of it and expect it. Kiss her the same way. There are no "steps." Steps are a cowards way of trying to stage things. When you feel it, go for it.... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and want to spice things up with my boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I want to spice up our relationship, we have made out and kissed but nothing else. Any ideas what to do? ...
A. 8 January 2016: You're 15. The only spice you should be looking for is salt for you movie popcorn.... (read in full...)
I'm six months pregnant but not sure who the father is
Q. Okay so before I start, I'm fully aware that I'm a terrible person for the things that I've done. I didn't come here to be judged, I just need advice. I am 6 1/2 months pregnant. In the past, when my boyfriend and I would break up or get into a r...
A. 1 January 2016: Whats most important is you dont move to NY if you dont live there already. Taxes here are high enough ...... (read in full...)
How do I end this 5 year relationship with the man I love?
Q. Finally working up the nerve to end five years relationship. I'm 33, he is 39. I love him, but this cycle of feeling happy then miserable is wearing on me...a lot. Most recent event: he blew me off on Christmas. To help myself move forward wit...
A. 29 December 2015: You just described a man who fits the description of an alpha perfectly, so lets be honest whats going on here. Now that you're in your early 30s, the sex thing isnt enough, you realize you need your beta provider. This story is repeated ad naus... (read in full...)
I regret taking my Bf back. I've fallen for one of my other friends. What can I do?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year... And we've broken up quite a bit, but we ended up getting back together again. Today was one of those days, and he begged me to take him back. I agreed, which I really regret now. I no longer f...
A. 29 December 2015: At your age, you dont "fall" for anyone, you trip ... ... (read in full...)
Is paying for sex the best option, when a guy is 25 year old virgin, and has a porn addiction?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl and I have a porn addiction. I watch it everyday, multiple times a day, and of course masturbate like crazy. It becomes a compulsive need to get home from work, or any social gathering and start looking up ...
A. 29 December 2015: Paying for sex wont turn a beta into an alpha, it will just make you more of a beta.
Tackle the root of the problem.... (read in full...)
How do I attract and choose the right men?
Q. I just recently ended my 3rd serious relationship. We were long distance and he was very selfish and emotionally abusive. However, the pattern remains the same. I meet a guy, we get attached very quickly, after a month or so he says he loves me...
A. 29 December 2015: 1 - Deal head on with your issues with your father. I dont know a single LTR woman with daddy issues. Not a single one.
2 - Stop attracting bad boys.
3 - Give the beta guy a chance. He may be just what your looking for, if what you say... (read in full...)
Is it wrong not to call when you get their number?
Q. I've seen sites saying to get as many girls phone numbers as you can. To give you experience and therefore confidence etc. Other sites say it's cruel to get numbers and not call. On the other hand, girls sometimes give out false numbers or play oth...
A. 29 December 2015: Absolutely fine not to call. You owe them nothing.... (read in full...)
This married man has me confused. Please help!
Q. I have a problem concerning a married man. I feel as though I have been 'played' but I am not sure how it happened. My head is all over the place. I am normally quite sensible and I'm definitely not interested in men who are with someone, married ...
A. 29 December 2015: "Recently SOMEHOW we got emotionally close."
Translation - you liked the attention and welcomed it, and are now getting worried that its turning to sex.
What am I missing here?... (read in full...)
I just caught my fiance, cheating on me numerous times with tgirls. What should I do?
Q. I just caught my fiance, cheating on me numerous times with tgirls, CD, etc. He appears to have a serious t fetish. He claims to love me and wants to marry me. However, when I confront him with the obvious evidence, he denies everything. The wier...
A. 29 December 2015: Sounds like he's an alpha. He'll do what he wants, and in your earlier years you'd probably take him back. At this age, hopefully you're a bit wiser.... (read in full...)
Lost virginity may wreck upcoming marriage
Q. I am from Nigeria. and i want to become a virgin again. I don't know if you can help me with what wil make me to become a virgin again? My wedding is coming up and don't want my husband to be mad at me. Please do help me. I do want your reply as ...
A. 28 December 2015: Awesome advice below from female anon on how to begin your marriage on the firm footing of deception ...... (read in full...)
Why can't I leave this pill popping pot smoking drunk?
Q. Hi everyone, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and he's a major pill addict and smokes pot and is an alcoholic. Trust me I had no idea he did all these things when we started dating. We now live together with my ...
A. 28 December 2015: Tough love time. He's a loser. The sum total of my life experiences has told me people dont change at their core. He may have times when he's clean, but those are the "relapses." The equilibrium he will always tend to is substance abuse.... (read in full...)
My second cousin wants to become my boyfriend but I'm nervous. What do you guys think?
Q. Okay so the past two weeks me and my 2nd cousin have been talking.. A lot and flirting and we have a thing. He's a few years older than me so growing up we didn't talk but I'm 17 now. I saw him over Christmas but we had to pretend we weren't ...
A. 28 December 2015: Not a good idea for so many social and biological reasons ...... (read in full...)
Lost virginity may wreck upcoming marriage
Q. I am from Nigeria. and i want to become a virgin again. I don't know if you can help me with what wil make me to become a virgin again? My wedding is coming up and don't want my husband to be mad at me. Please do help me. I do want your reply as ...
A. 28 December 2015: There are just some things that cannot be undone. This is one of them ...... (read in full...)
I snooped on my boyfriend's Facebook account because I no longer trust him - is it time to break up?
Q. Basically, I've caught him lying to me a couple of times in the last few weeks and I was shocked. I never believed he had it in him and it's taken a lot of begging on his part for me to agree to give him another chance. I've always had an idea what ...
A. 1 January 2015: You have no trust in your relationship, and I don't see it getting better. Move on.... (read in full...)
My wife told me about her past sex life and now I can't even look at her
Q. My wife told me of her sex life before, she would go on no strings attached websites and meet men ...3 sums , now I feel sick my wife was passed around groups and used as a sex toy and she loved it , now I can't even look at her, what should I do?...
A. 8 April 2014: doug - yes - many here are posting the past is the past, unless you look at the thread where the guy cheated on his ex-wife, where clearly this isn't the case....... (read in full...)
I was planning a future with this man and then found out he cheated on his ex wife!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He was married previously but his wife passed away. He told me once he had a threesome when he was younger but I never really thought anything about it. But on the weekend something came up about ...
A. 8 April 2014: What ever happened to "that's in the past?"
... (read in full...)
My wife told me about her past sex life and now I can't even look at her
Q. My wife told me of her sex life before, she would go on no strings attached websites and meet men ...3 sums , now I feel sick my wife was passed around groups and used as a sex toy and she loved it , now I can't even look at her, what should I do?...
A. 8 April 2014: I cannot for the life of me fathom how anyone could get married without having all of this information beforehand. Say what you want, but its your right to ask. If you found out and still got married, that's on you. If they lie, then its on them ... (read in full...)
I thought getting married would fix her insecurities, but she is still acting abnormal and crazy on a daily basis. Do I let her file for divorce or stay and try to work it out?
Q. Its been a while agony aunts since I wrote in. Same or similar story, same girl. This time I really did it though. I went and married her on December 21st, 2013. Didn't take the advice, I tried, unplugged for a whopping 4 weeks, thought I was doing ...
A. 5 April 2014: One thing to note - marriage in itself never "fixes" anyone. Whatever issues you had in a relationship pre-marriage, they will be times 10 in marriage.... (read in full...)
How can I turn my life around? What can I do about all of this?
Q. Hey everyone well I'm sorry that this is going to be a long complicated sob story but I'm in desperate need of advice and I know you all give great advice. I'm 21 years old. I'll start off by saying I was abused a lot by a lot of my family growin...
A. 29 March 2014: You need to fully understand and completely realize that your happiness in this life is 100% up to you. The good news is also that its 100% in your control. No one else is responsible for you being happy, and no one else can do it other than you. ... (read in full...)
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