Girlfriend talks about new sex positions that remind me that she cheated on me
Q. My girlfriend of two years did the unforgivable sin of cheating on me with my enemy, and dating him in fact. After lots of pleas, I forgave her and tried to look past it Now the problem is, since after the incident, she doesn't have sex with me...
A. 22 January 2014: Sorry, but I think your entire problem lies in your first paragraph.
Clearly you haven't gotten past this, or you wouldn't be bothered by what she now does.
Fact of the matter is you haven't forgiven her, so you need to stop kidding yourself... (read in full...)
Her training to fight makes me feel insecure.
Q. I'm in a fairly new relationship with a woman I adore. Our courtship lasted a bit long but we didn't want to get into a relationship just after a few weeks of admitting we liked each other. After a little over a year, we became happily official. T...
A. 22 January 2014: I boxed competitively for four years. Think about taking it up. Trust me, after a year of intense boxing training, you will have very few insecurities left in you....
Caveat - when I say boxing, I mean boxing. Not boxercise, not jumping ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont let go of my past!
Q. Please, I need help with this. In the beginning of my relationship I made the treacherous mistake of telling my boyfriend about me giving oral to another guy, as I took it not very seriously and told him lots of details, it really got to him. ...
A. 22 January 2014: He has something called retroactive jealousy. Its an inconvenient relic of our evolutionary pasts as men, and thus is very difficult to deal with. The good news for you is that it typically does not effect men until they are with a woman they are ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is financially irresponsible
Q. My gf has serious personal finance problems. Even though she makes more than enough to pay her expenses and save, she consistently spends her entire paycheck and sometimes overspends it. She's open to discussion and is often willing to cutback ...
A. 22 January 2014: IMO, people are either savers or spenders, and they are born that way and typically never change. With that, never ever marry a spender. Ever. It is a prescription for lifelong hardship. I don't know how to put it any clearer.
You need to move ... (read in full...)
Potential boyfriend is demanding to know my past, and then comments negatively!
Q. I've been talking to a guy that I met through a dating website for almost 3 months now. We live across the country so we haven't met yet but we text all day and skype pretty regularly. For the most part, things are pretty good with him and I feel ...
A. 20 January 2014: I for one think its very wise to find out the sexual past of your prospective partner before getting to far into the relationship. Sexual compatibility is very important to the long term aspects of a relationship, not to mention how many posts have ... (read in full...)
I lent my online bf money for the trip to meet me...am I being used?
Q. I've been in an on-line relationship for 2 months. My bf and I decided to meet, so we went ahead and made plans. But a few days before he realised he doesn't have enough money for the trip. I have agreed to lend him but I keep wondering if I am ...
A. 20 January 2014: Always assume any money you lend will never be repaid unless it is done in a very business like fashion, ie, with paperwork, contracts, and collateral.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend storms out after an argument instead of talking it through
Q. I don't know what to do. When my girlfriend and I fight, she stays so mad for so long, and I don't know how to deal with it. We had a fight last night that somehow caused her to drive off mad. We didn't speak for 24 hours, til I called her tonig...
A. 20 January 2014: Dude, didn't read all of the posts, but you just need to get away. Life is way to short to be putting up with crap like that.
Everyone has issues, but the key is to deal with them and talk them out. There simply isn't enough time in this lif... (read in full...)
I feel neglected in this "unofficial" LDR
Q. This unofficial relationship is driving me crazy! Here it goes, the guy and I live 4 1/2 hours away from each other. We divided soon, we want to get serious. I had sex with a man while we weren't really "talking" and he got upset. We promised after ...
A. 20 January 2014: LDRs generally have a 6-12 month life expectancy until a choice must be made. Is what it is.... (read in full...)
I'm so lost. What do I do?
Q. A guy I really liked asked me out over text but i got scared and said no. After that i got depressed and as a sort of anti depressant talked to a guy. i fell in love and i was sure he loved me. He didn't. He felt nothing for me, i was just his ...
A. 20 January 2014: First thing to do is realize that at your age you not have the slightest idea what real love is. Its not your fault, its just you don't have enough life experiences to know the difference. What I will tell you what its NOT - its NOT thinking about ... (read in full...)
How do I learn to relax around him?
Q. So im trying one last time to save my family ny cool child's dad is single and so am I... but ive.been.putting my foot in my mouth often sending king emotional text, calling but losing my words which make awkward silence.. I've been annoying him... ...
A. 20 January 2014: Sorry, but your post is so unclear I really don't know what you are trying to gain advice on.
Maybe try to get your thoughts together and present them a bit more cohesively?... (read in full...)
He's so rigid that he won't accommodate things I want to do
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years and I am having a few issues with the way he acts towards the things I like. Basically, we are very different and have totally different tastes. Mine are quite varied, whereas he likes...
A. 20 January 2014: Me and my wife couldn't be more different. Im of Northern Euro decent, she was born in South America. Im 6ft and broad shouldered, shes 5ft and petite. She grew up learning to live for today. I grew up always planning for the future.
All t... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to break up because she has no independence!
Q. Hi, I will try to start from the begging, 8 month ago I started a new relationship with toni who is love of my life. Before that I was in a relationship for 5 years with my ex Claire. It was a violent relationship on her part, she use to punch, k...
A. 18 January 2014: Honestly, I cant think of something that a woman would find less attractive than a man begging her to stay with him.
You must believe you are a guy with a lot to offer women, a guy in demand, and you should act like it. Do that, and soon you will... (read in full...)
Too nice to be attractive for her?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if a guy can be too nice to a woman and this causes her to lose attraction, which was there in the first place. I mean, doing things for her, helping her and showing her your affection, not too soon, can that cause her losin...
A. 13 January 2014: Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Surest way to lose a girl, or to not have them being attracted to you in the first place is to be Mr NiceGuy.
Be Mr Confident. Never be Mr NiceGuy. ... (read in full...)
Stumbled across a message of my fiance questioning whether or not she should marry me!
Q. Hello agony aunts! I need some help with my fiancé and our upcoming marriage. This morning when I was getting ready or work I noticed her phone light up because she received a message I glanced at it and saw that it was her close friend who had ...
A. 13 January 2014: Well, since marriage is such a big deal, I applaud anyone who takes the decision very seriously and wants to be sure they want to proceed. That said, Im a big believer in not doing your laundry in public. If she has questions about your marri... (read in full...)
Is this woman just an angry person?
Q. When she let you down sometimes and has severe mood swings, insults you verbally and acting angry towards you, without a serious reason, what would you do to handle the situation?( my attempt was just ignoring it....) For example: she gets made ab...
A. 13 January 2014: What to do?
Lets see - she's needy, selfish, and cold. Sounds like a real keeper there.
Dude, seriously - how many times you have to bang your head against the wall until you realize its not a good idea?
Dump this leech and move on.... (read in full...)
I'm not feeling too good after hearing about my girlfriend's sexual fantasies!
Q. Me and my girlfriend were talking about sexual desires and she told me she always wanted to make out with a black guy. Which is ok and I understand because I have sometimes fantasies about asian women. But then we talked about it a bit more and she ...
A. 13 January 2014: You forget about it. She was honest enough to share a fantasy with you, and its not uncommon to fantasize about/be attracted to someone very genetically different than you. Remember - dissimilar DNA has the tendency for many of the genetic ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle my boyfriend's abusive behavior anymore!
Q. Dear Cupid Im with my current bf for almost 4 years, its the longest relationship for both of us. My bf was previously with lots of girls nothing lasted even for 6 months. Coming to my problem, he often becomes abusive, im not even sure whats ...
A. 13 January 2014: Guy is an abusive loser. Just cut your losses and leave.... (read in full...)
One of my husband's New Year's resolutions is to go a month without having sex?
Q. This seems a little ridiculous to me but here it goes. My husband decided on his new year resolution to quit drinking and smoking which I am proud of him for doing so. The third one is the one that is ridiculous to me. He wants to go a month with ...
A. 12 January 2014: Sorry, but I cannot imagine doing that. Ive been married for six months now, and have been with my wife for six years. To give you an idea of my (our) sex drive, I have already had sex with her three times in the last 24 hours. I will likely get ... (read in full...)
Things to brighten by boyfriend's day? I need lots of ideas!
Q. 1) Besides the regular "I love you", "I miss you".. what are some cute positive things I can text my boyfriend throughout the days to make him smile or possibly make his day a little brighter? 2) What are some cute, cheap but meaningful, thin...
A. 11 January 2014: First, I applaud you for being so considerate.
Second, I agree with the notion of doing things but not going over the top. Don't pay much attention to his reaction. I know a lot of "manly man" dudes who act like they don't like it, but deep dow... (read in full...)
We absolutely have the money for a wedding but I'm not sure its a good investment!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a wedding question. My fiance and I have waited almost three years to get engaged as I wanted to be able to afford the wedding I want as all little girls dream about their wedding. I am just not sure I can spend six thousand...
A. 11 January 2014: IMO spending a lot of money on a wedding is a waste. Its over before you know it, and then all that money is gone.
Invest it and use it to make more. ... (read in full...)
My partners wild past is making me feel insecure....am I blowing it?
Q. My "girlfriend" is a couple years older then me and she has a wild past, relationship wise. My biggest problem is that I feel insecure about her behaviour, cause she still maintains contact to some of her fromer boyfriends and even to some f**...
A. 10 January 2014: You have something called retroactive jealousy. Search it here and you will get many hits.
Since this is a new relationship, as a former rj sufferer myself my advise to you is to move on. This will only get much worse. Worse because of more you... (read in full...)
I don't wish to lose my wife nor my friend!
Q. Hey everyone, I know this is going to sound bad but I really need some help. I have been married for 4 years with two lovely children, and although I love my wife and kids to bits I can't stop thinking about a friend of mine. We get on really well ...
A. 10 January 2014: If you don't want to lose your wife or your friend, then keep treating your wife as your wife and your friend as your friend.
Easy peasy.... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at winning a good guy turned bad love back?
Q. A good guy fell in love with me and pursued me for years. I resisted him and gave him the cold shoulder for years. He wasn't my typical type of guy and was much older. Fast forward now that I am grown and matured and have tested the waters over the...
A. 9 January 2014: Sorry, but let me be more clear. I don't believe any normal man chases a woman that long w/o the woman giving him a reason to.
I believe you egged him on to receive attention, and are now upset that he is finally fed up.
Again, move o... (read in full...)
I'm shy and blush easily when I go to speak. How do I learn to be more confident?
Q. Hi well I am new to this site so not sure how it works, but ill ask my question anyway- I am so shy- I go red in the face everytime I speak and this is really affecting me. How do I stop my self from going red in the face and how do I bec...
A. 9 January 2014: Since is an involuntary action, I wouldn't worry about it that much. Not only that, I know more than a few guys who like it.... :)... (read in full...)
Do I still have a chance at winning a good guy turned bad love back?
Q. A good guy fell in love with me and pursued me for years. I resisted him and gave him the cold shoulder for years. He wasn't my typical type of guy and was much older. Fast forward now that I am grown and matured and have tested the waters over the...
A. 9 January 2014: What I got from your story:
"I found a really nice guy, but liked bad boys so I dated them. Once he got tired of chasing me and moved on, I feel like I still need attention from him."
I for one think he's an idiot for chasing any woman for th... (read in full...)
Does love exist still? Should I save my virginity for "The One"? I want a better marriage than my parents have.
Q. Hey everyone :) So I'm 19 and still a virgin which is kind of part of the problem and not. Anyway I need to know am I being way too expecting of love and sex? My parents had a unsatisfactory marriage and still do. I grew up in a home where...
A. 9 January 2014: Its gift you can only give once, so my suggestion is to give it wisely.
Trust me, there are many guys out there who are worth waiting for, and would be honored to be the one chosen.... (read in full...)
Is 8 months of dating too soon to ask to be exclusive?
Q. what do you think? Is asking a woman after 8month of dating to become exclusive, being to "intense" or putting too much pressure on it??? I am courious about it....I did it and got dumped......
A. 8 January 2014: If you're not exclusive by eight months, trust me, you never will be........ (read in full...)
Why can I give a one night stand oral sex but not to someone I am in a relationship with?
Q. I don't know why I am like this but in the past I have not been able to give a guy a blowjob who I am in a serious relationship with - which included my ex husband. Yet I have had no problem doing that with a couple of one night stands since. The ...
A. 8 January 2014: I can imagine that the guy who is emotionally invested in you would be less than crazy about this fact....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is bringing me down, what should I do?
Q. I am on the verge of leaving my boyfriend of 9 months. It's been a rocky road as he is going through a divorce. There is no love lost but he can't seem to get things sorted out even though his ex has a new family. He is very up and down and was...
A. 8 January 2014: One more vote for not divorced = still married.
This is exactly why you don't get involved while still married. The process and accompanying emotions tend to cloud and complicate things.
He should get divorced first, get himself together... (read in full...)
Change to a bad boy, or stay the same
Q. Hey, so what am asking is can a man be to nice, like opening car doors, helping with her coat on an off, saying nice things to her every day,asking her how was her day, you know like at work, taking her to nice places to eat, poems, flowers, just ...
A. 7 January 2014: This is yet another time when you want to not listen to what women SAY, but rather watch what they DO.
If you want to have a lot of women after you, act confidently to the point of arrogance. You need to believe it, or they will sniff it out in a... (read in full...)
It's always the ones you don't want.... Who agrees?
Q. I don't know if other people get this but I've noticed in life the people who chase us and praise us are the ones we aren't very attracted to, yet the people we are attracted to a lot are quick to lose interest or not interested in us? My ex was...
A. 7 January 2014: One more vote for arrogance gets you the girls.
Just the way it is.... (read in full...)
Would she be offended if I asked her to wear a wig during sex?
Q. I'm in a relationship for almost 2 years, we're both divorced and not rushing into marriage. she lives with me weekdays being I'm very close to where she works. We have a good relationship and I don't want to rock the boat asking her to wear a wig. ...
A. 7 January 2014: If it was something easy to change such as my hairstyle, I would most definitely at least try it. I want to be as attractive as possible for my wife.
For those who wont do something this simple, that is your prerogative, just don't get upset wh... (read in full...)
Why is it bad to send ex a hate letter?
Q. I wrote a 3 page letter telling my ex how much I hate him. He had records of cheating and every time I forgave him and took him back. He's a liar and never changed. I'm so pissed and don't deserve after what I've done for him. So people said don't ...
A. 7 January 2014: Because it makes you sound pathetic.
If you need to write, write it and save it for yourself only.
Never send it. Ever.... (read in full...)
He has been sleeping with my best friend but wants another chance!
Q. My boyfriend who is18 slept with my best friend during our entire one year relationship . He says that he is sorry and doesn't know why he did it bit wants me to give him another chance...
A. 7 January 2014: Surround yourself with people of high moral fiber.
Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)
I want to try swinging, but I don't know if I can without him loving me!
Q. Ok, we have only been dating about 5 months but I'm really fallen for him. I could even say I am falling in love.(I'm 44 and he is 46) I ended a 25 y marriage, but have been dating for about 4 y and this is the most serious relationship I have ...
A. 7 January 2014: Cant say I understand, as I would only be able to do this w someone I don't care about....... (read in full...)
Invited out for a drink, but what to drink when I have to drive!
Q. I'm going on a first date with a guy I met at a party and we're going to get a drink. I'm not a big drinker and we're both driving there separately. I've maybe drank 5 times in my life. I really don't drink a lot. I already agreed to get a drink so ...
A. 6 January 2014: Anything without alcohol.... (read in full...)
What did he mean, "you don't have to sell your soul"
Q. Hello, I have been having an affair with a separated man. He has been separated for 5 years but remains in close contact with his wife who lives close by. She has never found anybody else and always hopes they will get back together. He has been ...
A. 6 January 2014: Sorry, but I stopped reading after the first sentence.
If he is separated, that is "still married," so you are right that it is an affair.
Once you are in a relationship with someone who is not married, you can then ask questions about ... (read in full...)
My married man loves me but can't be with me
Q. Please bear with this long story. I am unmarried and in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I recently moved to a different country and there I met a guy friend. We both are aware of our situation from the very beginning when we first ...
A. 6 January 2014: Hes married. None of this should have started in the first place. He's back with his wife. Move on.... (read in full...)
She's 22 and I'm 16. But I panicked and said I was 21. How do I tell her the truth and not have a bad reaction from her?
Q. Hey, I met this 22 year old girl online. We instantly hit it off and it turns out that we both live in Aus. We exchanged mobile numbers and have been talking constantly since then, the only problem that I have is that when she asked my age... I ...
A. 6 January 2014: Tell her the truth.
Nothing more to say.... (read in full...)
My partner betrayed my trust and I don't know what to believe now...and we have a 3 month baby so leaving him is not an option
Q. Hi I have been with my partner for 2 years. We live together and have a 3 month old baby. We are both 25 years old and we plan to get married in the near future. He is a good partner and father but I have a problem. When I had known him for on...
A. 6 January 2014: So, you found he was cheater from jump, then decided to have a child with him, now you don't know what do?
Just wondering if I have the details right before thinking about a "solution."... (read in full...)
What happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas!
Q. my wife and i have been together for almost 3 years and have been married almost 1 year. we have had our fair share of bumps and bruises. 2 months ago, i broke a promise to her by going to a strip club with my friends on my birthday. i have been ...
A. 6 January 2014: God knows I don't blame you. Id probably do the same. BTW - I don't know why you even brought up the strip club. In terms of severity, its like comparing J-walking to genocide.
If I were you, Id do everything you could know to document her admi... (read in full...)
What happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas!
Q. my wife and i have been together for almost 3 years and have been married almost 1 year. we have had our fair share of bumps and bruises. 2 months ago, i broke a promise to her by going to a strip club with my friends on my birthday. i have been ...
A. 3 January 2014: The only thing honorable here is that she told you.
If it were me, Id say I respect your honesty, and then drive to my lawyers to start divorce proceedings.
... (read in full...)
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