My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 2 September 2013: 1 - She is a cheater. She will remain a cheater. Ergo, she will cheat on you again.
2 - With #1 above in mind, you are an absolute fool if you stay more than another minute with her.
3 - Cheating on her will not change her behavior, it wil... (read in full...)
Is there really sex after 50?
Q. I have such a dilemma, I can't figure it out what goes on with sex in the older age group. It is because, sadly me and my husband are not sexual anymore , due to his erectile dysfunction, and lack of libido. It has been investigated by doctors, ...
A. 2 September 2013: All I can say is Im 45 and rare is the day when I don't have sex with my wife. Ive always been a horny bastard but I just don't get the "decline of libido" thing that some guys talk about after 40. Maybe some day it will hit me, but surely not ... (read in full...)
Any advice for swinging? I feel jealous of the rapport between my b/f and the female
Q. My boyfriend and I have had a few "swinging" encounters and we want to continue in the lifestyle. I enjoy being with other women without a doubt. Once I am in the heat of the moment I also enjoy being with other men. The problem is that the last ...
A. 24 August 2013: It goes with the territory. Its like a boxer saying he loves boxing, but hates the bruises he gets on his face. If you have any inklings of jealousy at all (and IMO 99% of humans do), this will not work long term.... (read in full...)
I've been involved with a guy from work who also has a girlfriend. Things were great but I feel like he's backing off. How can I keep him interested?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from work for a while, i started there in April and I've had so much fun working with him and flirting away. We get on great! The flirting increased about two months ago and we started sending dirty texts and pics, which ...
A. 23 August 2013: Im going to be brutally honest. He was only interested in a quick fling for sex. He got, now he's done. He will never look at you as a gf. Move on.... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend last night and feel so guilty! Should I tell him?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 9 August 2013: My hunch is if the OP was instead a man cheating on a woman many of these same posters would post the exact opposite advice they are now giving.
That said, you cannot base a relationship on a lie, esp not one this large. Proceed accordin... (read in full...)
Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?
Q. Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...
A. 20 June 2013: Absolutely. But do understand that there is an enormous difference between wanting something really bad, and willing to do whatever it take to obtain that thing. You can have just about anything you want, as long as you are willing to give ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refriended his ex. Do I believe the reason he gave me?
Q. So boyfriend refriended his ex on Facebook a couple of months after unfriending her because I had asked him to. I had insecurities about her even though they broke up about two years ago. He says it was weird that he unfriended her in the first ...
A. 20 June 2013: Reason #1565 that nothing good comes from social media.
If I had a nickel for every time in the last year I heard someone complain about their SO's FB usage, Id be richer than Midas.
I have never had a FB/Twitter account, will never have one, ... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 19 June 2013: I am 45 and getting married for the first time next week. I waited for the right person and to be mature enough to know what that was. I dont regret one moment of the wait....... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 19 June 2013: You wish -
As a past severe RJ suffer myself, I can say with almost absolute certainty that your advice of "Since you may have did similar things you shouldn't feel this way" is not helping.
Of course men suffering from this affliction know ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my clingyness to a guy that is already involved? I am in love with him!
Q. I'm hoping someone will help me I love this guy so much but unfortunately I've made the usual mistakes clingy too emotional etc Ok he's with a girl he's been with her 5 years We got close and kissed twice last year please don't judge he said afte...
A. 18 June 2013: If you want to go ahead and make a Grade A, Class 1, bonafide fool of yourself, then my advice is to continue exactly down the path you are on........ (read in full...)
He's the only one I'll ever love. How can I find a way for us to be together?
Q. My heart is broken. I'm so afraid that I've lost hope of winding up with the person I know in my heart is for me. I love one of my closest friends, and I know in my heart that I'll NEVER love anyone else like I love him. I'm afraid that he's...
A. 18 June 2013: He clearly doesn't want to be with you, so I guess by definition he cannot be "the one God made for you."
You have one of two choices -
1 - Get out there and find out there are plenty of people we are compatible with and enjoy your life.
2 ... (read in full...)
Why did my husband leave me after 6 years of marriage?
Q. Why did he leave me? My husband left my son and I after 6 years of marriage. He wanted his freedom and to be able to do as he pleased. He was having "the grass is greener" issues. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and generally not a good...
A. 18 June 2013: To all of the women who posted below:
When a relationship ends, it is rarely all because of what ONE person did. This is true for most things in life.
The OP posted that she can be nagging and needy. No offense intended, but my guess is if s... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I love my 16 year old cousin -- is that wrong?
Q. I love my 16 year old cousin is that wrong Why I love her I love her in so much and I want her bad, when our family has gatherings me and her always are together and make each other laugh, in my point of view she is smart and funny and very ...
A. 18 June 2013: This is a bad idea for so many good reasons. Just two: 1 - For health/genetic reasons, being with a cousin is never a good idea. You are asking for health problems should there be any children. 2 - At 13, I can say without fear of contradi... (read in full...)
Husband gets frustrated when I cry about his work hours but I'm pregnant and lonely!
Q. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and feeling very hormonal and emotional all the time. My husband works 12 hours most days and leaves at 11 and comes back at 11. It breaks my heart so much because I never get to see him and I feel so alone. He has two days off ...
A. 18 June 2013: As a guy who used to work 100 hours weeks on Wall St, let me remind you, he isnt out drinking, he isnt out carousing with women, he isnt out partying - he is WORKING. You know - the hard stressful stuff that almost no one likes to do? After coming ... (read in full...)
Ghost of relationship past
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and he's been struggling with how many past partners I have. I was date raped in my bed and have obviously had other sexual encounters in it. One day at random my boyfriend told me he doesn't want ...
A. 18 June 2013: The bed is a trigger for these types of thoughts. If its not too much trouble, Id get rid of it.... (read in full...)
She says she has a sexual addiction. Does that mean she is cheating?
Q. I recently was told by my GF (of 2 yrs) that she has a sexual addiction. I've gone on many websites since she admitted this to find out how to deal with it. I know she's had a wild past, but the websites I've gone to (Posarc.com is a good one) s...
A. 18 June 2013: Dude, first go to your doctor and get checked for STDs. Like tomorrow. Next, get far away from this woman. I dont envision a likely scenario where this ends well.... (read in full...)
What are your opinions when it comes to friends having surgery
Q. If someone say an ex girlfriend, someone you're friends with, or know really well got a nose job what would you think of them? Taking into consideration that their nose was bumpy, hooked and too big for their face... Would you think any differ...
A. 18 June 2013: My fiancee is from Colombia. I can honestly say down there women to DONT have any surgery are in the vast minority.
Totally a personal choice - you're the one who has to live with it. (And pay for it.)... (read in full...)
Details about my wife's past have made me feel our sex is not new or exciting or different!
Q. I recently found some details of my wife's sexual history and I'm now disgusted by her. What can I do? I mean I know it is "the past" but we're talking about her saying and doing the exact same things she says and does to me. This bothers me a tre...
A. 18 June 2013: Ugh. Retro jealously rearing its ugly head. Please do a search here for RJ - there is plenty written. I am an RJ sufferer myself, so I sympathize with you - it really sucks big time.
For this, there are two paths - the first is to learn to... (read in full...)
Do parents who coddle their kids actually love them?
Q. I was dating this guy and everything was going good and it seemed we were becoming serious until I started finding out more about him and his family dynamics. A few months in I found out he lived with his mother (he was 36 at the time). I was ...
A. 18 June 2013: I dont know about loving them, but as I have written here before, IMO coddling children is one of the most damaging things a parent can do to them. Unfortunately, I see the incidence of this only increasing as time goes on. I am one of five boys... (read in full...)
Would you dump a nice guy that makes too little money?
Q. Im in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a nice guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very little ...
A. 18 June 2013: As a side bar, I wonder what responses would be written here if instead of a women writing about a man making too little money, it was a man talking about "a nice girl who was a bit too ugly....."... (read in full...)
He says he loves me even though he cheated, got another woman pregnant and plan to marry her
Q. I've been seeing this guy since march 2012. I was 20 and he was 33. He's from south america and was doing his masters. It was his last year here and after he's done with the masters he was supposed to leave. So we started this knowing we don't ...
A. 18 June 2013: Cheated on you and got another girl pregnant - sounds like a real keeper....
My fiancee is South American. Her unwavering opinion when it comes to South American men - when then open their mouths to speak, stop listening. Not to a single w... (read in full...)
My LDR of over two years just stopped talking to me
Q. My long distance boyfriend for 2 1/2 years stopped talking to me just like that. We had such a good relationship and love each other so much. He live in different state which is about 3000 miles from me but we see each other every other month. We ...
A. 18 June 2013: You should be thankful that it lasted so long. Generally, LDRs have 6-12 months before they become either non-LDRs, or simply non-Rs........ (read in full...)
In the western culture... who pays the bill on a date?
Q. Hi Dearcupid, I came from asian background and i was on the dating website. Recently i meet a guy on line and went for a coffee date and one dinner date. Now i have a little question to ask " for the western culture, what should happen with...
A. 18 June 2013: I think it depends. IMO, you have to really decide if we are going by 1950 rules or 2013 rules. If its 1950 rules, then the man pays without question, however, all of the other 1950 conventions go along with that. If its 2013 rules, then I say ... (read in full...)
I won't steal a woman from another man, but where do I go from here?
Q. About two years ago I met a couple in one of my classes. I got close to the woman because she just seemed on my wavelength and she actually tried talking to me more than the guy did. I stayed friendly with her, never having more than friendly banter ...
A. 13 June 2013: Stop listening what she says and start watching what she does. If she wants to be with you, she will end the other relationship. ... (read in full...)
My wife spent over 37 hours talking/texting/sending nude photos and says I'm selfish because I can't move past it!
Q. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. 6 months ago I caught my wife talk to a guy she meet on a online poker game. She told me they're just friends on a game but when I checked the phone bill and it was more than talking. In a month they ...
A. 13 June 2013: If you think this is the only time she has transgressed, I have some swampland in Florida for you. If this were me, the title would instead read "My ex-wife spent...." It sounds like you have easily proved all of this. I would do so....in co... (read in full...)
If I give her what she wants, how do I know I will get what I want later?
Q. My girlfriend and I have had an amazing relationship. We clicked right from the start and I have to say that I have never had feelings for anyone else than I have for her. We had a small issue earlier this year where she thought she didn't have ...
A. 13 June 2013: SensitiveBloke gives sage advice.
Ask yourself - do you really want to be putting up with this crap for the rest of your life?... (read in full...)
I just want an answer from him -- are we done?
Q. I was seeing a man who is 26. I am 37 with two kids who is recently seperated. We have hooked up a few times. text daily. The past week he seems cold and the texts are zero. He also was at my house and stayed over three times 2 weeks ago, but ...
A. 13 June 2013: Ok, a few things, and Ill get the blunt stuff out of the way first. For starters, a 26 year old man with anything on the ball is going to have A LOT of options. Life is all about options and choosing the best one. For most 26 year old men, a ... (read in full...)
He said "I'll always love you" but then broke up with me. What does he mean?
Q. my bf broke up with me and he said "ill always love you" what does he really mean when he says that? does he even mean it or is he saying it to make himself not look like such a jerk? his reason for the breakup was that he didnt want to be in a ...
A. 13 June 2013: It means judge people by what they do, and not what they say. Goes for everyone, every age, both sexes. Everyone, all the time.... (read in full...)
Do you think men really want to get married??
Q. Hello. Just wanting some opinions from you uncles. How do you feel about marriage? I want to hear from the men that are married and the ones in relationships. It seems to me that it's usually (almost always)the women pressuring for an engage...
A. 13 June 2013: I am 45. I am also getting married for the first time in two weeks.
For me, it was all about being the right time w the right person. At my age, I have seen just about every type of woman out there. I have no need to sow my oats any longer, ... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to believe in romantic love nowadays?
Q. I'm only at university, but I don't see the point of short-term flings or spending time with guys who don't obviously respect you, and I want an old-fashioned romance. Maybe not a movie, picture-perfect relationship, but one that actually means ...
A. 12 June 2013: I dont think its stupid to wait till marriage. I dont think its stupid to expect a man to be a gentleman. I dont think its stupid to enjoy a little romance.
I do think its stupid to confuse the excitement of the beginning of a relation... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm not dating material because I'm an introvert and like being alone
Q. I am an introvert and enjoy being alone. I am insecure about it because my behavior is out of the norm. I think girls will find me boring because I don't drink or like going out to parties and I am very reserved. A few girls have liked me but I ...
A. 12 June 2013: I am painfully introverted as well, and yet I had a date with a different girl almost every week regularly through my 20s. I think many mistake introversion with other things. Introversion means being alone recharges you. Extroversion mea... (read in full...)
My g/f broke up with me over a kiss and yet she cheated on me and I forgave her!
Q. Thanks for reading, I just don't know where to turn to, so I am asking you lovely people :) I have been with my girlfriend for just over 1 year. Things were really good between us. Very early on into the relationship, we did have a bump in the ro...
A. 12 June 2013: Her complaining about your kiss is like Joan Rivers complaining about her husbands plastic surgery.
She slept with someone. IMO she doesnt have a leg to stand on.
As far as the relationship - lets take a tally -
1) She is a cheater
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has had a history of cheating, and the paranoia has gotten too much. Help?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months now and tbh i'm now wondering where I stand and in general what to do. In the first 3 months of this relationship, my boyfriend cheated on me. ...
A. 11 June 2013: He is a cheater. He will continue to be a cheater. You know this, yet willingly took him back.
Any resulting pain and hardship that is going to result from this relationship going forward is now completely your own fault.... (read in full...)
Is he jealous or just think I'm being inappropriate?
Q. I work at a sports bar and all my male co-workers really like me. I never thought of it as a problem, they're all very nice and I'm nice to them back because I have no reason not to be. Usually it has never been a big deal, they just compliment me ...
A. 11 June 2013: Business is business. How pretty you are and I love yous are strictly for personal time.... (read in full...)
Fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!!! I feel really used!!
Q. Hi everyone. OMG!!!! I just fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!! I am such a mess. I really need some help from all of you!!!!! We work together and he suggested we meet outside the workplace for coffee. We talked for a couple o...
A. 11 June 2013: Its sad, but the smooth older married guy who "doesnt get sex from his wife anymore" but "thinks you're beautiful" is as old as time itself. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about his wife's betrayal?
Q. I have a close male friend. Years back his wife cheated on him, and he knows that. But since then he let that behind him. I was really impressed the way it was handled. However, in the past year I have known the guy his wife cheated on, through a ...
A. 11 June 2013: I would tell him and present is factually, not judgmentally. Kinda like - "Here's what I heard, it could be right or wrong, but as your friend I thought you should know. Do what you wish with this info."... (read in full...)
Do you guys even care how a woman looks even if it's just a one night stand?
Q. Do you guys even care at all who to have sex with even if it's for one night? I went out with a friend yesterday who is quite a bit older than me. She is 53. And she looks it. She has plenty of wrinkles, short, a little overweight. She loves to...
A. 6 June 2013: If its a one night stand, its really only about sex that night. There is no emotional or monetary investment at all, so all the girl really needs to do is meet a bottom threshold for attractiveness. For many gents, that bar is not that high.... (read in full...)
To forgive or not to forgive?
Q. Hiya guys, i really hope someone out there can give me a good perspective on my situation. Im not going to go into detail but my dilemma is really the whole 'forgive or not forgive' scenario. I became friends with a guy and we decided to see e...
A. 5 June 2013: Please listen to Cerberus here. Sage advice.... (read in full...)
Crush on a coworker and I'm wondering what his text meant!
Q. There is a man that I'm interested in and he is working with me I asked him today in a text if he needed me and his reply was ( more than you know ) what was he meaning?...
A. 5 June 2013: Reason #113 I hate social media/texting for human communication.
Reports vary from 50-90% of human communication being non-verbal. If he said this to you face to face, I guarantee you that youd know exactly what he meant.
Ergo, Id ask ... (read in full...)
She hurt me incredibly bad, I don't know why or what she wants from me, or even how to proceed from here. Help?
Q. help me, please. i have no idea what to do. i love my ex so much. we just broke up about a week ago and she hurt me incredibly bad. we had a stupid, small misunderstanding the other day and all of a sudden that night, she told me she needed space ...
A. 5 June 2013: Sounds like a drama queen. Believe me, those types are a dime a dozen and are to be avoided at all costs.
If she could leave you over someone so trivial, she's not worth your time.... (read in full...)
How do I ask this girl out at work?
Q. How do I ask this girl out at work? I'm a male nurse who works in a hospital, and there's this really cute medical resident who floats around the other units that I've been crushing hard on for like 4 months. She's rarely on my unit however,...
A. 5 June 2013: Good gosh man, have some confidence in yourself - she will see it and like it. What I would do is since everything is so busy - Id say quickly - "Hey crazy day today. Why dont we grab a drink after work?"
If you want to find her alone for a se... (read in full...)
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