How can I turn my life around? What can I do about all of this?
Q. Hey everyone well I'm sorry that this is going to be a long complicated sob story but I'm in desperate need of advice and I know you all give great advice. I'm 21 years old. I'll start off by saying I was abused a lot by a lot of my family growin...
A. 29 March 2014: You need to fully understand and completely realize that your happiness in this life is 100% up to you. The good news is also that its 100% in your control. No one else is responsible for you being happy, and no one else can do it other than you. ... (read in full...)
How do you confront a liar cheating wife with the facts?
Q. . My wife does not know I know she's cheated. I have all the proof I need and it's causing me to distant my personal life from her. I see my wife stressing over me pulling away from her, she appears to not understand why I stopped showing her ...
A. 26 March 2014: It appears like you've resigned yourself to leaving. With that, you MUST COMMIT TO THAT IDEA 100%. You marriage is now nothing other than a court case, and you'd better start looking at it that way. First thing, document EVERYTHING. Pic... (read in full...)
I feel like my dreams are dying ...
Q. I'm 29... finding myself and becoming skilled at something... discovering my talent or passion... if it was going to happen, it would have happened by now? I feel like my dreams are dying, because I don't have any special talent or quality to de...
A. 24 March 2014: Tough love time. The only thing keeping you from succeeding is yourself. Trust me, if you FULLY commit to something - whether it be school, a business, whatever, you will be successful in it. I have never seen someone FULLY commit and fail. I ... (read in full...)
IS it crazy for me to try to work things out with my ex?
Q. I broke up with my bf last November after being together for 2 years. We're both in our mid 30's and were in somewhat of a long distance relationship causing us to only see each other on the weekend. The main reasons for the breakup was that we were ...
A. 24 March 2014: Sorry, but if you don't have your shit together by your mid-30s, you never will. People are who they are and typically this does not change.
In relationships, there is give and take. In some, that means one is the financial powerhouse and the ... (read in full...)
Does sex always have to be with someone special?
Q. Hey, people!!!! Haven't been on here for some time! You seriously can't understand how bored i was. anyway, i've gotta question that's not a problem, but it'd be nice to have some opinions. so basically, my friends and i were having an argument...
A. 24 March 2014: At age 13-15, sex should honestly be with NO ONE. People that age are simply not typically mature enough to understand the full consequences of their actions, either financially or emotionally.... (read in full...)
How do I stop getting dumped?
Q. Recently my girlfriend who I loved very very much dumped me. Safe to say gutted. I've never loved like that before. I thought we would get married. I seem to always get my heartbroken as I've never dumped a girl. My ex told me she only seen me...
A. 24 March 2014: Read what WiseOwl said. You are your problem. No matter what they say, no woman wants to be smothered. Make them work for your affection - like its something to be earned and valued once received. Smothering a woman is just as bad sometimes as ... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad a boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. This is a work related problem and I could really do with some advice. I work in lovely public relations company and head up the consumer team of about 4. Since summer it has just been me and one other up until month ...
A. 19 March 2014: For starters, snooping in an employees email for a non-business reason is one indication of being a bad boss. Conversely, not being liked by a given employee is not necessarily an indication of being a bad boss. Your job as a boss is to ethically ... (read in full...)
Need a place to turn in a marriage where I feel like I have no choice
Q. My stepdaughter has always been a source of problems, particularly when it comes to her relationship with her mother: whatever stepdaughter wants, stepdaughter gets. Over the near 17 years of my marriage I've been mostly able to afford these ext...
A. 13 March 2014: You have a financial responsibility to yourself, your wife, and any of YOUR OWN children. That's it. If your wife thinks you need to support another man's child, I think its time to find another wife.
Last, I'll give you a spoiler - you will nev... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my desire to have a baby?
Q. Hi Okay so I am nearly 21 years old. I really want a baby- I know yes this is not the right time or nevermind timing I have no boyfriend either! I only work 20 hours a week so not enough income either and I live with my parents. I just d...
A. 12 March 2014: Raising a child from birth to 18 currently costs roughly $250,000, US. Think about that whenever the desire overcomes you....... (read in full...)
Girls, would you date a guy who isn't funny?
Q. Girls say all the time that they want guys who are funny, well the truth is, that not everybody can make everybody laugh and be the life at the party. Some guys like me are not funny or sarcastic and generally don't have a sense of humor. I'll n...
A. 5 March 2014: Sorry, but I think you need to make a girl laugh. For one, it shows wit and intellect, but it also makes her happy. Being funny can overcome a lot of other shortfalls. A guy who used to work for me had the funniest self-deprecating humor I've ... (read in full...)
Can I ever really trust her after I found out about her threesome?
Q. 6 months into our relationship my girlfriend went on holiday and I later found out that she had a threesome with two men she met in a nightclub while she was away. After she said it was just a crazy one off I forgave her. But I just can't get ...
A. 3 March 2014: Not only did she cheat on you, she cheated on you with two men at one time, lied about it, then bragged to her friends about it.
I cannot possibly fathom how a man could even consider staying with her. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has said "I'm a keeper" multiple times out of no where?
Q. So this past week my bf has said I was a keeper multiple times. Last night he tells me his boss wanted to meet me because he was telling her about me, he said "she's a keeper". Within the past 2 days he's said it 3 times. what does that really mean ...
A. 28 February 2014: I agree with other posters in that this is a huge compliment, esp from a man.... (read in full...)
Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while?
Q. Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....
A. 28 February 2014: Ive been with my wife for seven years and she is still horny as a cactus in her mid-late thirties. Ive dated quite a few women for reasonably long periods of time, and I cannot ever recall this phenomenon.
Sorry for the news, but IMO if your wom... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date a separated person?
Q. I'm divorced and met a woman through friends who's married but living separated lives with her husband for financial reasons. Long story short, she invited me out for a date. Is it wrong to date a separated woman who's husband is already out there ...
A. 28 February 2014: I would advise against it.
For one, separated = still married. No way around that. If it were me, Id want one thing finished before moving on to something else.
For two, depending upon where you live, it can be viewed by the courts as adulte... (read in full...)
Why is it a big deal for my boyfriend and I to be 7 years apart?
Q. im 14 turning 15 and my lover has just turned 23 and we are pretty far apart in age but does it really matter? we do not have a sexual relationship and nobody except a close adult friend of mine knows, I feel the urge to tell my mother that im in ...
A. 28 February 2014: As far as maturity goes, 15 to 23 is worlds apart. Maybe the fastest maturity growth period in ones life.... (read in full...)
First one night stand has me wondering why boys are like this!
Q. On Friday I had my first ever one night stabd! But I really havebt taken it well I didn't know the guy I had met him that night And had spent most of the night with him we had got to talking and he took me back to his. Obviously everything happened ...
A. 25 February 2014: 99.9999% of one night stands will not result in anything further. Its just a simple fact that most will not be willing to make an emotional investment into a woman who slept with them so easily.
To your last question - "Why are boys like this?" ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't have sex with me
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. We are both 22.We used to have a great sex life but over the last 6 months, he doesnt want sex with me. I'd say this has happened gradually, before I had hope but now I know it's useless. He says ...
A. 21 February 2014: When a guy stops having sex with you, especially a guy that young, the hard truth is the vast majority of the time he is just not attracted to you anymore. Men are simple creatures regarding sex drives. Our evolutionary program is to inseminate... (read in full...)
Do I love him? Does he love me?
Q. So me and my step cousin are really close. We clicked the moment my mum got married to his uncle. We'd always stuck together in everything, and at school, (he goes to the same school as me,) we always partner up for projects. We also hang around ...
A. 21 February 2014: Love is carrying your spouse to the toilet and wiping their backsides for 40 years after a forsaken car accident. What you are feeling is excitement from a novel experience because you are so young. Two VERY different concepts. ... (read in full...)
I cheated - is there any way to fix this?
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend that's about 8 years older than me for over two years now. For the last six months or so, I feel like our relationship has been quite stale and stagnate. I have learned to accept this because he is in his 30s and I'm ...
A. 20 February 2014: 1 - Nothing happens "all of a sudden." You made choices to get you into that position
2 - That you can cheat and use an excuse that he basically wasn't paying attention to you because he was sick as problematic, to put it lightly.
3 - As ... (read in full...)
How can he love me and want to share me?
Q. I have met a man who seems wonderful in every way. We have an incredible connection on so many levels yet I have a question. He has said to me that if I feel the desire to have sex with another man in his presence he is ok with that. Even turned on ...
A. 18 February 2014: Sorry, don't get it. The last thing Id ever want to see is some other guy sticking it to my wife. Perhaps Im just to alpha-male for my own good, but cant conceive of why any guy would want to see that. ... (read in full...)
Am I too unrealistic in wanting to find a guy who's not into porn or casual sex?
Q. Please don't be nasty with your replies but I would like to know the chances of finding someone who; 1. Hasn't got much of an interest in porn when in a relationship 2. Hasn't had a one night stand or a friend with benefits 3. Doesn't see...
A. 18 February 2014: There are very few men I know who wont take casual sex when it is offered to them easily by at least reasonably attractive women.
That said, I know plenty of guys who can stay completely faithful when partnered with the right woman.
These a... (read in full...)
How can I be intimate with my fiancé without upsetting my daughter? She hears us despite us being quiet.
Q. Ok, need help on this one! This is sort of embarrasing but I need someone to tell me what I should do. I have 3 children from my last marriage. I am widowed. I finally meet a wonderful man, and we are engaged to be married in July. I have a cape c...
A. 18 February 2014: *Sigh*
Call me whatever you want, but its because of this kind of crap that I never got involved with a woman with children. If I were the guy, Id be one foot out the door once a 15 year old from another man started dictating my sex life.
... (read in full...)
Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?
Q. Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...
A. 10 February 2014: 12345 -
I find your generalizations rather offensive. My mother and father were together as a married couple in the late 50s, and my mother was most definitely not a "slave" to my father. Both sets of grandparents were married well before t... (read in full...)
Cheating and lying partners...
Q. Ive had a girlfriend for 4 and a half years. I met her on an online chatroom , which i was initially dubious about. We started dating and i feel deeply in love with her. After around 3 months i started to have a gut feeling that she was not being ...
A. 10 February 2014: Going forward, it would probably best to look for mates at places other than internet chat rooms....... (read in full...)
He's sweet and caring. He's also 17 years older than I…
Q. I'm about to introduce my family to a man I'd like to be with. He's sweet and caring. He's also 17 years older than I. My parents are liberal but I think even they'll balk at the age difference. I want my parents to accept him but I have no idea how ...
A. 10 February 2014: Trust the formula - 1/2 the mans age plus seven. Any younger than that and problems typically arise. No idea why this formula works, but empirically it does, and at almost any age........ (read in full...)
How young is too young when it comes to settling down and having children?
Q. Hello helpers! This is a relatively quick question, but one that i'd love some input for! I'm 18 years old, turning 19 this year. I'd say I was pretty mature for my age (alot of this coming from bad experiences in childhood). I'm currently dating...
A. 31 January 2014: From a financial perspective, it costs around $250,000 to raise a child from cradle to age 18. This does not include college costs. Are you ready for that expense?... (read in full...)
Taken advantage of in business with friend
Q. Hi all, I have a problem with a friend that I have known since I was 12 yrs old. Recently she opened a shop and as I have a manufacturing business she asked me if I had any excess stock that she could put in her store on consignment. For those w...
A. 30 January 2014: The key to any long term business relationship is an iron clad partnership agreement. That way, all the expectations are laid out up front and in writing. This should be put in place no matter if the business partner is family, friend, or ... (read in full...)
Should people in a relationship discuss their sexual past? I'm uncomfortable hearing about boyfriend's past.
Q. Hi everyone, I had a question and I hope you can answer. If you are in a relationship with someone, is it alright to ask about their sexual past? My boyfriend was telling me about the women he has been with and it made me a little uneasy. H...
A. 30 January 2014: What female anon said below. When you are entering a committed relationship, that part of your past is on the table, and deserves to be communicated honestly if asked.... (read in full...)
Facebook is causing problems in my relationship, what should I do?
Q. Through out the years, I have had a lot of bad experiences with Facebook so I deleted mine a long time ago. My boyfriend has been using his again lately. The reason this upsets me is because he has been talking to some of his female friends on ...
A. 30 January 2014: Ive said this before, but the next positive thing I see come from Facebook or Twitter will be the first.
I don't have a Facebook account, I have never missed out on a single thing I wanted to see or a person I wanted to interact with. With tha... (read in full...)
Things aren't the way they used to be with my boyfriend. Should I worry?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 8 months. When him and I first met and first got into a relationship, things were great. He made a lot of effort to talk with me and to hang out, we spent a lot of time together, and he just seemed ...
A. 30 January 2014: Time typically wears the luster off any relationship, and afterwards you are left with how you really feel about the person, rather than how you really feel about being in a new relationship......... (read in full...)
I think my mom is jealous of my girlfriend!
Q. Hi everyone, basically this isn't a big issue, mainly minor but I wanted to ask if anyone had an idea of how to stop it. I've been with my Girlfriend for over a year now and we are both completely in love, since I've been at university, we've just ...
A. 30 January 2014: Moms being wary/jealous of girlfriends is a story as old as time. Think its bad now, just wait until you get married........ (read in full...)
Tired of husbands childish traits. How should I cope?
Q. Sometimes I really dislike, maybe to the point of hate, my husband. Most of the time he's a great guy. But he has some childish traits that can go beyond irritating. He likes to push buttons and tease to the point where I get genuinely angry,...
A. 30 January 2014: You married him fully knowing his personality and accepted it, and now you want him to change.
Sorry, but at this point, you are the one who needs to do some changing........ (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate for a woman to give fragrance as a gift to a man who she isn't in a relationship with?
Q. Is it inappropriate for a woman to give fragrance as a gift to a man who she isn't in a relationship with? I had an argument with my girlfriend when she saw a type of aftershave that I wouldn't normally buy at my place and asked where I got it. I ...
A. 28 January 2014: Im not sure about this one.
I recall back when I was working on the street, the issue came up w a female co-worker about how she thought a tie was inappropriate as a gift from a woman to a taken man.
I never really saw the harm in it, but she s... (read in full...)
NEVER will do anything for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved.
Q. I had a discussion with a friend today about my upcoming trip, and she said that men NEVER will do anyhting for a woman unless there is sexual intention involved. I told her that I had and have plenty of guy friends. She asked me to think under w...
A. 27 January 2014: Many men will take sex where they can get it easily, especially if there are no large risks or consequences involved.
Friendship itself usually plays little to no role in the decision, since most men don't see a link between sex and emotions... (read in full...)
My BF wants me to go to the same college he does, but that's a ways off and I can't say yes.
Q. My boyfriend has asked me if I would go to the same college as him I'm 17 he's 17 and I don't want to say yes because I feel like college is a time for me to be free ad explore and I love him I really do but recently he asked me if I would marry him ...
A. 27 January 2014: If he has a newborn, chances are he will never see a college degree unless his family is wealthy and willing to support his child.
All that said, at your age educational concerns romantic relationships. You go to the college that is best for... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 27 January 2014: Back to confusing basic drives versus mitigating consequences of satisfying them. Just because we have a need to eat doesn't by necessity imply we should endanger our freedom by stealing to satisfy it, especially when food (at least in develop... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 27 January 2014: Ok - if we go right to your second to last paragraph, you would notice on this we are in complete agreement, ie, the part regarding free will. If you recall my original post -
"men cheat when their evolutionary drive to spread their seed to as ma... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 26 January 2014: You're confusing steps taken to mitigate consequences with the actual drive to do an action in the first place.
As a sidebar, the conjecture that consensus of male scientists are bastardizing their research so they can justify their morals i... (read in full...)
Why do men cheat?
Q. Why do men cheat?? Ive had thought my partner of 4 yrs was cheating on me ... in November he moved away 50miles to work saying he qohld come bk every weekend. Well he sumtimes came bk bit also only for a day or one nite ans half the day I kept ...
A. 24 January 2014: To try to put it scientifically, men cheat when their evolutionary drive to spread their seed to as many women as possible overrides their moral/ethical obligation to their partners.
Also, disagree with the notion that men cheat for the same rea... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 24 January 2014: I am going to take a shot in the dark here and say it would not shock me if you had/have long standing issues with your father. Ive seen this type of behavior before, and it without exception has been accompanied with a girls poor relationship with ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend talks about new sex positions that remind me that she cheated on me
Q. My girlfriend of two years did the unforgivable sin of cheating on me with my enemy, and dating him in fact. After lots of pleas, I forgave her and tried to look past it Now the problem is, since after the incident, she doesn't have sex with me...
A. 22 January 2014: Sorry, but I think your entire problem lies in your first paragraph.
Clearly you haven't gotten past this, or you wouldn't be bothered by what she now does.
Fact of the matter is you haven't forgiven her, so you need to stop kidding yourself... (read in full...)
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