Intimacy problems
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months now. He's lovely and we get on really well. Thing is, after 5 months together there's still been no intimacy. He'll give me a kiss (peck on the lips) straight away when we meet, then the same again when we ...
A. 12 October 2011: well, now you've added those other pointers ... yes, he sure sounds totally and completely gay to me. and the biggest giveaway is awkward hugs. jeez. he is so gay i think. sorry - that's just my opinion.
and if he is ... ok. tough for you. tou... (read in full...)
Intimacy problems
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months now. He's lovely and we get on really well. Thing is, after 5 months together there's still been no intimacy. He'll give me a kiss (peck on the lips) straight away when we meet, then the same again when we ...
A. 10 October 2011: If he was gay, why when he was finally free of his marriage, would he hook up with another woman and sleep in the same bed as her?
I don't think he's gay. I think he has some kind of problem - be it emotional or physical. Will be interest... (read in full...)
Intimacy problems
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months now. He's lovely and we get on really well. Thing is, after 5 months together there's still been no intimacy. He'll give me a kiss (peck on the lips) straight away when we meet, then the same again when we ...
A. 10 October 2011: He obviously has some massive hang-up/problem and is very strange. And is very controlling, and keeps everything absolutely under compartmentalised and separate.
I really don't think you will get anywhere with him. Tell him that you need passion,... (read in full...)
I think I might be falling out of love with my boyfriend, but I don't want to hurt him. What do I do
Q. I'm in a dilemma and really need some help. Although I have a boyfriend, I've started to fall for a different guy, which sounds really shallow I know, but please read my explanation of the situation. I truly don't know what to do. :( I'm 19, a...
A. 5 October 2011: You sound like really a v. nice, sympathetic and decent sort of person - and I am sure that is why the older guy loves you, along with the fact that you are 19.
OK, here's the thing. Your instinct is completely right. (a) it isn't a 'real' r... (read in full...)
DC aunts, do any of you like going out to bars and clubs by yourselves?
Q. Do any women here like going out to bars and clubs on their own ? I'm in my 20's and dont really have many friends so i'm wondering whether to go out on my own ? I think i would feel nervous and self conscious though.i think men are brave to go out ...
A. 5 October 2011: I don't think it sounds like a great idea. Going out on your own kind of defeats the object of going out (to be with your friends and have fun). I only go out on my own if, eg, I feel like being alone - eating in a restaurant alone - looking around ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue
Q. I'm 33 and have been in a fabulous relationship of 6 months with my boyfriend. He speed up things since we met by introducing me to his friends and family very quickly, inviting me to go with him to a wedding 3 weeks after our first kiss, making ...
A. 1 October 2011: Sorry but he is not a viable person. I don't know what the medical term is, but the reality will be misery for you. Find someone else and be glad you have got out of it early...... (read in full...)
We work together, fight all the time. Should we get a divorce?
Q. I'm married for 4 years and since there i had good moments and bad moments too, like every marriage is. But the last months it's getting hard keep the balance. Work, finance, family, relationship, pressure to have kids, i dont know if i'm up to ...
A. 30 September 2011: Do you remember the bit in the marriage ceremony about for better and for worse, richer/poorer, in sickness and in health, etc.? That is all about how it won't be a bed of roses, and how you have to stick it out even when things are bad - when you ... (read in full...)
My husband blames fertility issues on me being over weight! Couldn't it just as well be HIM that is the problem?
Q. Hello all, I have been with my man for 5 years, married for almost three. We havent been actively trying to have a baby but we havent not been trying either. For years I thought my husband had issues downstairs, and I found out I have fertilit...
A. 30 September 2011: I think it is much more likely because you only see each other every two weeks. Have you gone through the process of checking when you ovulate and making sure you have sex then? That is the most important, basic point in the whole thing.
But y... (read in full...)
I'm not sexually attracted to my girlfriend!
Q. I've met a fantastic woman, she is funny, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet with a heart of gold... doesn't sound like much of a problem does it? The problem lies in attraction, I met her from a dating site, we hit it off immediately as we are both of ...
A. 24 September 2011: This is really sad but you have to just be friends. But why oh why did you get involved with her if you didn't fancy her? The no. 1 rule is that you must find the attraction part easy. This is so hard, because she will be really upset, and you c... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with this married man?
Q. I have a serious question that I know will ruffle A LOT of feathers but I'm sorry, I really need advice, I've been seeing a married man for a while and were very close, best friends more than lovers. Recently I have been getting urges to have a ...
A. 20 September 2011: Let's be honest here ... there is a romance between the two of you, and what you both secretly want is for him to leave his wife and be with you and the baby. The baby would be an excuse to do this.
Examine your feelings for him.
If you think ... (read in full...)
How can I get the intimacy back in our relationship?
Q. Me and my fiancée used to have a very close, fun, sexual, intimate relationship. 5 months ago she got pregnant and since then its like everything has come to a hault. She never wants to be intimate, we aren't very talkitive anymore, the sex almost ...
A. 20 September 2011: I am really sorry you are having this problem, as I agree that pregnancy should be a time of real joy and harmony between a couple.
There must be something going on here. OK, the first thing is that the first time you are pregnant, you are ofte... (read in full...)
I had sex with my married boss to keep my job and now I feel sick!
Q. I think i have just had sex with my boss to save my job. Ive always known hes fancied from since i started. but at the start of the year he told us that out of 3 of us 1 of us would get sacked. its just an office job but its a job so i decided ...
A. 19 September 2011: Get a new job. Get a new job. Get a new job.
There are a million trillion jobs in the world. I'm sure you are capable of getting another one. Even private cleaning would be a massive improvement on what you're doing now (and it pays £10 per hour... (read in full...)
From start to finish in 4.5 months?
Q. I'll keep this short as possible. If a couple met and dated 4 1/2 months (long distance) then got married and had a kid within a year...what are the chances it wt wil. Work? Please help...thanks...
A. 13 September 2011: as good as any ... maybe even better, as they have motivation to make it work ...... (read in full...)
How do I settle this overwhelming desire to be pregnant?
Q. I'm 22 and my best friend is having a baby in a few days, we've been closer than sisters since we were 14 and I was there with her when she found out she was pregnant. I even bought the pregnancy test for her lol! But coming closer to her due date, ...
A. 11 September 2011: Well, the only way to satisfy it is to have a baby.
Until you have one, you will feel like this.
Sorry ... just Nature at work. Your body couldn't give a stuff about money/age/etc. ... it just wants to do what is its most basic survival r... (read in full...)
Who is the father of my baby?
Q. please help! Here are the facts: I stopped taking the pill birth control in april 2011 I have reguar periods and a pretty normal cycle. Last missed period: may 24. I found out I was pregnant: june 25 I cheated on my boyfriend on: june 5...
A. 8 September 2011: If you missed your period on 24 May, then you were already pregnant then - so there is no doubt - only your boyfriend could be the father.
By now you should have had a dating scan at the hospital, so should have an idea anyhow of when you conc... (read in full...)
Lesbian friend going too far!!
Q. Hey everyone, I am a 16 year old female, I have a boyfriend and I love him to death but my best friend is really starting to get in the way! She admited to me two weeks ago that she is a lesbian and she hasn't stopped harassing me since. She keeps ...
A. 4 September 2011: End the friendship for the moment, until she is sorted out, and possibly never resume it. However, go to a school counsellor or someone to discuss what to do with her. She needs help. ... (read in full...)
I am now pregnant but haven't had a chance to grieve for my mother. I don't know how to handle this
Q. Hi, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Although I am very happily married to my husband, We have just found out we are expecting our first baby. The dilemma is because although we are married almost 4 years, and pregnancy is more than acceptable at this ...
A. 25 August 2011: Why should people judge you for having a baby?
Having a baby is about the most positive, life-affirming thing you can do right now - not just for you, but for your mother. Don't tell me she wouldn't be over the moon about having a grandchi... (read in full...)
Shouldn't I be able to get pregnant? I have a period every month
Q. I have my periods every month. My fiance and i are trying for a baby, but i don't fall preg. I'm starting to think that maybe i have a problem coz he has a child from previous relationship. Doesn't having your periods regularly guarantees that you ...
A. 25 August 2011: If your cycle is four weeks, make sure you have sex from the first day after your period finishes for at least 10 days. Every day, at least once. That should cover it. Then you can rest for the remaining 2 weeks!
Seriously.... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant by another man! How should I feel?
Q. I barely every get on these forums, and I dont think I ever posted a question, but I have one now. I'm a 21 year old male, and I go to college in Philadelphia. My ex-girlfriend and I dated for 4.5 years until she broke up with me at the end of Ma...
A. 24 August 2011: Tell her ' ok - I'll adopt your baby ...'
Then she will come back to you, and you can raise the baby together, and have some more children together.
Simple.... (read in full...)
My wife thinks she's a failure and "broken" and "invalid" because she can't have children
Q. My wife and I have been together since we were 20, married since we were 23 and trying for a baby since we were 24. We're now 29 and recently (two months ago) found out that she is infertile. When we got the news, we were both devastated but my wife ...
A. 24 August 2011: You haven't explained exactly what your wife's infertility entails. For example, you say she couldn't carry a pregnancy - but would it be possible for her egg to be used and the baby to be carried by a surrogate? In this way, although she wouldn't ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby with my ex if I don't get married before 35. Is this wrong?
Q. A few years back I was with a guy, great looking who was very attracted to me. I didn't love him so one day I left him saying we should meet when we are both more mature in judgement.(as in HE) Ever since I was in destructive relationships and I en...
A. 24 August 2011: I don't think the problem is how people might judge you. You are thinking about things like that because you don't have a child. When you have an actual child, your priorities will change.
What you will find is that the worst thing of all abou... (read in full...)
My boyfriend complains when I eat his food!!!
Q. Hi. Me and my bf have been togther almost 2 years and we are about to buy a house togther. He is fronting all of the deposit and paying for most of the fees (around £20,000). However, sometimes when I go round to see him and want to eat his food...
A. 23 August 2011: I think you should say you'd rather just maybe buy food together (and you pay for some of it) than feel like a stranger when you come round.
I think he is generous and practical, but he gets annoyed about funding everything.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex happy birthday?
Q. Hey everyone, I was wondering recently my ex's birthday had just passed and I was thinking about sending her a quick happy birthday email. However my birthday happened sooner then hers, it was in January, and I didn't get a happy birthday or ...
A. 23 August 2011: OK ... you still have feelings for her, and you want to wish her a happy birthday because of that. You want her to receive something nice from you, and to feel warm towards you because of it. Unfortunately, she is in a different zone all together ... (read in full...)
I like him but I'm not physically attracted to him, should I meet him anyway?
Q. Hi again aunts and uncles. I gave online dating a try and so far its going quite well. Ive been talking to this guy who just seems so sweet and kind and he seems to really like me but the problem is i'm not attracted to him in the slightest but he ...
A. 9 August 2011: I don't think you should go and meet him.
This is the problem with online communication. You get a picture in your head of who the person is, and you generally make them attractive to yourself. You then see and/or meet them, and they are totally ... (read in full...)
Would you date a girl with a moustache?
Q. Hi guys. I just want to know what u guys think of girls that have moustaches and if you can date one. Because i have a friend, a girl that has a moustache which makes her so self conscious and insecure about herself. Also what are the best ways to ...
A. 13 July 2011: She needs to go to a beautician and get this sorted out. It can be done. It will take time and patience, and it will hurt, and it will cost. But if she is in the uk, maybe she can go to her doctor and they will sort it out for her. She really should ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me their thoughts on this situation and how to cope with the loss of a good friend?
Q. I have this friend which I met over 4 years ago and back then she use to be really happy, kind, and such. She also never touched alcohol or drugs. Well 2 years ago when she moved to another city for college she completely changed. She drinks until ...
A. 13 July 2011: Well, I guess maybe you ought to find out what is happening with her, if you really are her friend, even if she is behaving badly now. Or at least her boyfriend needs to.
Such a big change sounds like it is to do with the drinking, but there pr... (read in full...)
What does it mean if a man stops making love to you half way through??
Q. Hi What does it mean if a man stops making love to you half way through??...
A. 11 July 2011: Agree that maybe he just liked the plant. Very likely didn't even look at the label.
Depends what kind of man he is. Most wouldn't even look at the plant - just grab it, pay for it and give you it.
We don't know anything about the context - is... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 10 July 2011: i thought as much ... this is a French/US thing. The French are more liberal. For Americans (like Brits) it is generally all or nothing. But ... have you not seen all those French films where despite the supposed liberality, it all goes horribly ... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 10 July 2011: Reality check
If you do this, you will have fantastic sex/love ... and feel like a total bastard.
You will have to lie to your beautiful family.
It will all go wrong, they will find out and you will lose your life as you know it.
You will lo... (read in full...)
What does it mean if a man stops making love to you half way through??
Q. Hi What does it mean if a man stops making love to you half way through??...
A. 10 July 2011: Firstly, how do you know if it was half way through for him? Maybe it was all already over for him ... That is the mostly likely explanation.
Next one is that for some reason he felt bad about what he was doing, and didn't want to continue... (read in full...)
Starting a much needed job soon, she wants to move to Florida, what is best??
Q. Hey everyone just needed a little bit of advice. I am in a dillema here. I have been with my girlfriend now going on 4 years and we have a 2 year old daughter together. We have been "Ok". We had our ups and downs. My life is kinda in shambles. I ...
A. 10 July 2011: Ok. This is what I think.
You sound like an ok guy. Your girlfriend also. She sounds pretty sensible, and you must be ok if she has stuck by you. Of course her family are going to say you are a no-good gambler - because if you had to choose a... (read in full...)
I'm having sex with my best friend's married father who is 54!
Q. Basically, i am having sex with my bestfriends dad. I am 25 and he is 54. He is still married and has been for 27 years. His wife is 58 and he says she dows not share the same sexual desire as he does. It all began 3 month ago when i stumbled...
A. 7 July 2011: Ok. So far you have done something a bit crazy, but you still have the chance to make sure it doesn't actually hurt anybody, and ruin your life.
You're right - you can't be with him. Every time you are with him, you are effectively betrayin... (read in full...)
Pregnant by abusive BF who drinks every night and tried to get me to strip for his friends... but I love him and want to help him change
Q. me and my boyfriend have been living together for 2 months now after 6 months of being together. The 6 months where incredible best 6 months of my life and he really and truly did treat me like a princess but ever since we started living together...
A. 6 July 2011: hey ... at least he says sorry the next day ... some don't even bother to do that ...
just tell him how sad you are, and that if he can't stop drinking, you'll have to leave. see what he does.
you can't risk him hurting you while you're pre... (read in full...)
I have just had an abortion and would like advice on how to get over it?
Q. Hey, I'm looking for your help to cope with having a termination of my pregnancy last week. I had been on the pill, and it was an unplanned pregnancy with my bf of 7 months. We spent a long time discussing it, and decided it was too soon for us to ...
A. 6 July 2011: Perhaps the place that gave you the abortion have some post-abortion counselling help - I think maybe this is what you need. You should contact them and ask what help they can offer you now.
My experience is that the guilt, etc, never really g... (read in full...)
What do I do? I am head over heels in love with him. But he dumped me as I cannot have more children
Q. what do i do when i am head over heels with someone and after two months of getting somewhere with me he dumps me because i cannot have any more children? Would this be a deal breaker for some men? How do I handle this?...
A. 6 July 2011: To be fair to him, he knew kids were essential for him (perhaps he doesn't have any yet?) and he didn't want to get more involved with someone with whom he wouldn't be able to live his life to the full. So, really, he did the right thing.
Not e... (read in full...)
Is it illegal to have gay sex at 16?
Q. Ok, i'm a lesbian and recently i started going out with my best friend, we made out once and we've been on several dates now for about 2 months, but now she wants to take it further, i agreed to do it at hers next weekend, but i was sort of drunk ...
A. 2 July 2011: There used to be a law about gay sex, but it was to do specifically with male gay sex. Both males had to be at least 21.
To be fair, the kind of sex between two women is not the same, because of the lack of a certain part of the anatomy that bel... (read in full...)
Every time I go on a diet I end up putting back on every single pound
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question or anything, but I could do with some help? I'm 20 years old and having some insecurities with myself. I'm 5ft 4 and 10st, a UK 12-14 and hate it. My breasts are a size 34G and and cause me constant pain...
A. 30 June 2011: Yes.
Go and find a book called 'Primal Blueprint' on Amazon. Buy it and read it. Do what it says. Then all will be fine and great, you will be your ideal weight and live happily. I promise you.
It is a guy in California who has done loads of res... (read in full...)
I don't know if my partner is emotionally abusing me or whether I need to get a grip and stop causing arguments...
Q. im 28 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My relationship with my partner has been up and down the past couple of years, we have had some amazing times and also some pretty upsetting times, typical of any relationship. My partner runs his own busi...
A. 29 June 2011: I'm so glad we've helped to make you feel a bit better - less alone, and to have the reassurance that actually, both of them are out of line, not you. When you are pregnant, all normal people would expect nothing of you, and would run around after ... (read in full...)
Intimidated by my teacher
Q. My chemistry teacher makes fun of me. Constantly. He treats me like I'm incompetent, dangerous in practical lessons, or otherwise stupid and inferior to the other people in my class. Only I get this treatment. He apparently doesn't realise ...
A. 29 June 2011: I don't think it would be easy for you to go to him, so you should go to your personal/social tutor (there must be one) in the first instance. Discuss how to approach it with her/him. Maybe this person will be able to speak with the teacher. He is ... (read in full...)
He really wants another baby, but I'm scared of getting sick again
Q. Dear Ageny aunts, I have been married for about four years and have a two-year old baby girl. I had hypremesis gravadirium throughout my first pregnancy and I have been to hell and back. Now my husband wants another baby, I'm scared to death of...
A. 29 June 2011: When pregnant, I lose 21 pounds in the first trimester, always. The nausea and sensitivity to smells and exhaustion starts 10 days after conception, and increases quickly so that in Weeks 8-10 I only have about half an hour a day when I can ... (read in full...)
I don't know if my partner is emotionally abusing me or whether I need to get a grip and stop causing arguments...
Q. im 28 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My relationship with my partner has been up and down the past couple of years, we have had some amazing times and also some pretty upsetting times, typical of any relationship. My partner runs his own busi...
A. 28 June 2011: I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am sure it will all be ok, and can be sorted out, but emotions are high on all sides, and maybe a couple of days now for you to just relax and get perspective is not a bad thing.
OK: firstly ... (read in full...)
I want to marry him but not his kids!
Q. I love my boyfriend hugely and we are engaged to be married. He has two children from a previous relationship ,5 and 4. Though the children are relatively well behaved and love me I find it really difficult to accept. I never want children (though i ...
A. 27 June 2011: Best to speak to him is:
'I am really sorry but I don't know what it is like to be a parent, at the moment I don't want to be a parent, and certainly not to someone else's kids. I am really sorry. I am not up to being your wife. I am going be... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has changed his mind about keeping the baby, and now he and his family are ganging up on me forcing me to have an abortion!
Q. my boyfriend and his parents are 'forcing' me into an abortion but i dont want to go through with it. what should i do? im 17 years old and im 5 weeks pregnant. my boyfriend told his parents i may be pregnant before we even knew. when i found out...
A. 27 June 2011: Go to the police!
No, seriously - this is completely wrong.
They can't make you do anything, let alone this.
OK, you just have to be totally strong: the strongest you have ever been.
I got pregnant when I was 21, and my father said that if ... (read in full...)
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